Whispers on the Ice (21 page)

“I’ll see it’s taken care of,” the doctor stated, rising to his feet and pushing the chair back into place against the wall. “I’ll be back shortly and take you to see him myself.” Jordan could only nod in agreement, her eyes brimming with tears.

After her doctor left, a whispered
thank you
stirred the air.

CHAPTER 15  

Dee and Whittaker watched the doctor quietly give the head nurse instructions, noted her quick look of surprise, and cast apprehensive looks toward each other. Only moments later, the doctor turned toward the couch they were sitting on and walked the short distance to speak with them.

Jordan’s doctor didn’t waste words. “I’m taking Jordan to see Aleksei.”

Dee’s knees gave way at the unexpected words and she slowly sank back into the couch’s worn cushions. Whittaker dropped to the couch; his mouth falling open then snapping closed abruptly.

“Is that such a good idea?” Whittaker finally managed.

“She needs to see him and she wants to thank him for all he gave her. She needs to say good-bye one last time.”

“How soon can she see him?” Dee asked quietly, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“The nurse is taking care of him now. It shouldn’t be long,” Jordan’s doctor answered softly.

“Good. She needs to be with him. Thank you, doctor,” Dee stated, squeezing his hand and feeling his return squeeze of comfort.

With a silent nod to Dee and Whittaker, the doctor returned to the nurse’s station and gave final instructions for Jordan. Five minutes later, a wheelchair was taken into Jordan’s room, and soon left it bearing her petite form.

Dee and Whittaker watched as Jordan was wheeled from their view down a corridor to the bank of elevators that would take her to Aleksei one last time.

* * * * *

The doctor stopped Jordan’s wheelchair before a wide, beige metal door with the word PRIVATE printed in bold black letters across a plain piece of white paper, which was taped to it. Jordan looked up at the doctor as he came to stand before her and help her to her feet. “Are you ready?” he asked quietly, his eyes searching hers and finding strength through the sorrow. At her affirmative nod, he pushed the door open and stood to the side, allowing her access into the softly lit room.

Jordan stepped through the doorway; a quietly whispered
thank you
followed by a gentle smile touched the doctor holding the door for her.

The doctor nodded once in acknowledgment and silently closed the door behind her.

Jordan turned and leaned against the closed door, the chill of the metal seeping through her robe. Her heart pounded erratically, her lungs struggled to take a full breath, her legs threatened to dissolve beneath her, yet she found herself moving steadily toward the hospital bed that Aleksei lay in across the room. Jordan’s legs bumped against the steel frame of the bed, startling her as she realized she had reached his side.

Aleksei lay covered by a soft blanket pulled up to his waist, a black long sleeved T-shirt covered his upper body, his once powerful arms lay peacefully at his side. His dark, wavy hair was tussled, as usual, the same lock that he had constantly pushed away from his forehead fell forward, and lovingly Jordan pushed the silky strands back into place. Her fingertips skimmed over his face, memorizing the feel of his skin, smiling as her skin tingled against roughness of the stubble of his beard, remembering how his unshaven face had felt against her face, her neck, her body. Her knuckles grazed a caress over his cheekbones, her eyes clouding when her fingers slid over his temple into his hair and felt the stitches that closed the cut on his head. Without hesitation, she bent over and kissed his wound, nuzzling her cheek against his as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, unsure if she actually caught a whiff of his after-shave or only imagined the scent she’d come to love. Sighing softly, she straightened, flinching as a stab of pain shot through her broken left wrist, a taunting reminder of the accident. Carefully she lifted his left arm and scooted onto the bed beside him, resting his arm across her lap, their left hips touching as they had millions of times before, both on and off the ice. The weight of his arm across her legs was comforting and she ran her hand up and down his arm, frowning at the missing warmth. “You’re so cold,” she whispered, steadily massaging his arm as he had countless times before done to hers when she had been cold. Her eyes returned to his face, he could be sleeping for the way he looked, relaxed, peaceful, his long, dark lashes laying against his cheeks, the tiniest of smiles turning just the corners of his mouth upward.

Jordan’s gaze absorbed every nuance of Aleksei it touched, the small scar on his chin, his full lips, the dark slashes of his eyebrows that could lower in irritation or rise in arrogance. The powerful shoulders and chest that had lifted and held her; tightly, securely, teasingly, lovingly, the hands that had shown her heaven could be found on earth, and that magic truly existed. And as she held his cold hand, the realization that he was truly gone from her rolled over her like a crashing wave. Her body began to shake uncontrollably, and the tears she had somehow held back until now refused to remain unshed. The tears came in a torrent, dropping hotly onto Aleksei’s cold hand as she raised his palm and laid her cheek against it, deep inside hoping she would feel his fingers move softly against her skin yet knowing she would never feel his touch again. Her throat felt raw as the emotional pain raged through her body and the words she struggled to speak sounded deep and throaty in the small, softly lit room. “You promised, Aleksei. You swore—nobody leaves. You swore you’d never break a promise to me. You can’t break this one—not this one. Dear, God…Aleksei, don’t leave me…” she sobbed, her body shaking uncontrollably as she collapsed across his chest, trying to get as close to him as she could. “Take me with you, Aleksei. I don’t want to stay here without you—I can’t stay without you… Aleksei, please. I love you. Take me with you…” she entreated to any power that was listening, fully prepared to die at that moment, if it meant being with Aleksei forever.

“Take me with you, Aleksei… I love you. Take me with you…” Jordan whispered over and over, tears spilling from her tightly closed eyes down her cheek which rested against his chest, her tears wetting the dark shirt he wore, her hands clenching and unclenching his muscular shoulders as she pleaded to join her love. “Aleksei, I’m so tired…Take me with you.” Jordan whispered, closing her eyes against the overwhelming emptiness that the softly lit room offered. “Aleksei…”crossed her lips as a breathless sigh.

“Jordan?” Aleksei called softly, his right hand gently stroked her tangled curls and down her back.

“Hmm?” Jordan answered sleepily, snuggling closer against his chest.

“Jordan?” Aleksei called again, a low chuckle making his chest vibrate. Effortlessly, he rolled her on to her right side, and tucked her head against his shoulder, fitting his body against hers. He brushed her hair from her face, and lifted her chin with his finger, his mouth settling sweetly over hers.

Jordan returned the kiss, sighing as he deepened it, her left arm slipping around his back as she pulled him closer, her breasts melting against the hard muscles of his chest. “You’re too sweet,” Aleksei stated softly when he finally found the will to end the kiss.

“Complaining?” Jordan questioned groggily; her eyes dark green and glazed with passion.

“Never,” Aleksei answered, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head as he pushed her head back against his shoulder and heaved a sigh of contentment.

Jordan snuggled closer against Aleksei, one slim leg slipping between his muscular thighs. “That’s good. It’s important to keep your partner happy,” she sighed tiredly, haziness slowly creeping over her.

“Tired?”

“Sort of—but not really. It’s weird—kind of like watching someone else lose their energy,” Jordan leaned her head back to look into Aleksei’s dark gaze, “Does that make any sense?”

Aleksei’s dark eyes delved deeply into Jordan’s answering green gaze, a knowing smile sparking a light in the depth of his eyes as his lips lifted upward. “Yeah, it makes sense,” he answered, placing a gentle kiss against her lips. “Jordan, listen to me, we need to talk.”

“Let’s just snuggle quietly for a minute and then you can talk all you want,” Jordan suggested, closing her eyes as she rubbed her forehead against his chin, and snuggled closer against his body, her hips pressing temptingly against his own.

“Jordan, I can’t think when you do that.”

“Do what?” she asked sleepily.

“Wiggle against me that way. It ruins my concentration for all but one thing and we don’t have time for that right now.”

“We’ll always have time for that, Aleksei.”

“If only it were true,” Aleksei sighed wistfully. “Jordan, listen to me. Are you paying attention?” Aleksei shook her gently, his tone becoming more urgent.

Jordan struggled to open impossibly heavy eyes, her vision hazy when she finally coaxed them open. “What is it, Aleksei?” she asked at his serious look.

Aleksei’s gaze roamed freely over her face, her beauty enhanced by the soft light that surrounded them. “Jordan, we don’t have much time.”

“What are you talking about, Aleksei? We’ve got forever, just like you said.” Jordan stated, a small frown forming between her eyes as she tried to bring Aleksei’s face into focus.

“I was mistaken,” Aleksei answered simply.

“You can’t be—you’re never wrong. You told me so yourself,” Jordan argued, a small pinpoint of panic flaring somewhere deep inside her.

“Well in this instance, I was wrong.”

“You can’t be—I won’t accept it. In fact, I refuse to accept it!” Jordan stated firmly, panic taking a firm hold and wrapping a tight fist around her.

“Jordan, I want our last moments together to be a time you’ll remember for the rest of your life.”

“OUR life, Aleksei. Don’t you mean, OUR LIFE?” Jordan whispered, her eyes wide, fear clear in their green depths.

“My life is over, Jordan. You know that, even if you don’t want to admit it. Our time together is over and now it’s time for you to move on. I don’t want you to waste your life mourning for what might have been. You’re young, I want to see you fulfill your dreams.”

“You’re my dreams, Aleksei.”

“Only one of them. You have other dreams to fulfill, other lives to touch. You can’t move on, if you don’t let me go. You have to let me go, Jordan.”

“Not yet, Aleksei. Don’t make me do this. I can’t let you go—not yet!” she entreated, pulling him closer even as she felt him slipping from her grasp.

“Jordan, this isn’t something I want. The very last thing I want to do is to leave you, but there are some things we have no control over. This is one of those things. It’s time for you to stand-alone—to see how strong you are all by yourself. You don’t need me, or Dee or Whittaker, you’re stronger than you realize and it’s time for you to show the world how great you really are.”

“I can’t do it—Aleksei. I can’t do it without you,” Jordan gasped.

“I won’t be far, Jordan. Listen for the whispers on the ice, it’ll be me right there beside you. I won’t be far away. Every whisper you hear will be me telling you I love you.”

“Aleksei, don’t leave…” Jordan begged, her breath catching harshly as her throat closed, and tears coursed down her face.

Aleksei’s hands held her face; his thumbs gently wiped the hot tears from her cheeks. As his tear filled ebony eyes held her deep green gaze, his mouth lowered and he gave her a sweet kiss, his own tears blending with hers. “I never wanted to leave you. Remember that, I didn’t leave you willingly!” he stated fiercely, then kissed her a final time, all the passion he felt for her, and his anger at the unfairness of everything blending together until they were both gasping for breath.

“I love you, Jordan Jamison. I’ll love you forever!” he whispered urgently, his eyes holding hers captive. “Never forget how much I love you. And listen for the whispers, each one will be telling you I’m right there beside you. When you hear them, close your eyes and I’ll be there, holding you, loving you, for as long as you need me,” He declared, a soft smile curving his lips. “Don’t cry for me, my sweet. We’ll be together again… I promise,” he stated knowingly. “I love you, Jordan!” Aleksei’s deep voice intoned emotionally as he slowly faded from her tear-filled view.

* * * * *

“Jordan…Jordan…” a male voice called, the sound faint at first, as if from far away then grew stronger. A hand shook her shoulder gently as she struggled to lift her head from where it lay against Aleksei’s chest, her mind sluggish, refusing to clear as seemingly real images swirled madly through her mind. “Jordan, the people are here to take Aleksei’s body to the mortuary. It’s time to go,” her doctor stated softly.

Jordan’s eyes filled with tears as she nodded in understanding and allowed the doctor to help her to stand. “He’s really gone, isn’t he?” she asked in a small, pain-filled voice, her gaze wandering over Aleksei’s handsome face.

“Yes,” he answered simply, wondering yet again why bad things happened to good people, and if people couldn’t learn how strong they were in another, less tragic manner.

“Aleksei came and told me good-bye. He said we’d be together again. He promised,” Jordan offered, running her hand along his arm, up to his shoulder and with a final caress along his jaw line, bent over and kissed him good-bye. “Be seeing you, Rocmanov. I love you!” she whispered against his cheek, stood, and allowed the doctor to help her across the room.