Who Wants to Marry a Cowboy? (28 page)

Sophia choked on her martini. “You’re her what?”

“Smooth, lover.” Cecelia grinned at him and waved her ring finger. “Look, Mom! Diamonds!” Sophia’s frown deepened and her normally pale face grew even lighter. Edward thought she might pass out.

“Congratulations.” Ray embraced her again, his touch lingering too long, but Cecelia didn’t seem to mind. They sat on the sofa together, leaving no room for Edward. He shuffled next to her and lay a hand on her shoulder. She reached up to touch him, but kept her attention focused on Ray Taylor.

Which led him to wonder. “How do you two know each other?”

“Ray’s roommate was dating my roommate. So we all hung out together.”

“And we were both in the wedding party when Jenny and Dean got married.” He brushed her hand like a lover’s caress. “Don’t forget that!”

“How could I? It was a great night.” She flashed him another smile. The reminiscing continued, and Edward felt the wall that Cecelia erected. She didn’t want him here. Right now she was probably thinking getting engaged to a stuffy, uptight man like him was a mistake. Why be with him when she could be with this other man with whom she had already shared so much. They had a history.

Edward would have been happy to marry for convenience if Cecelia hadn’t forced him to face his feelings for her. He could see now that love was a mistake. She could spend time with this man and no one would question her actions if emotions weren’t involved. All she had to do was say the word and they could end their one-day farce of an engagement.

They went in to dinner, Cecelia sitting next Edward, across from Ray. The Fairfax housekeeper placed a steaming soup in front of him but he studied his
fiancée
as she shifted her focus to the other man. “You used to do so much traveling. Have you done any lately? Edward and I need an exciting place to go for our honeymoon.”

He blinked at that. They hadn’t even discussed a honeymoon yet. He’d been thinking of his family cabin in the Blue Ridge mountains. The serene surroundings and idyll location made a perfect getaway spot. He opened his mouth to tell her, but Ray spoke first.

“Yeah, two weeks ago I went to Tijuana.” A smug smile crossed his mouth. “But I wouldn’t recommend that. Too bawdy and wild. The mountains are good, for something more sedate. Asheville is nice.”

It had sounded like a good idea until Ray put it that way.

“Both seem like fun.” Cecelia turned to him. “What do you think?”

What was she doing, dragging him into the conversation and pointing out the differences between him and Ray Taylor. And obviously finding him lacking. “I think this is something we should discuss when we can look at locations and travel arrangements.” He was not going to discuss his honeymoon in front of anyone else, even if her lips did turn down slightly at his statement. Disappointment, maybe, that he didn’t have a bigger sense of adventure?

“I went skydiving last year,” Ray volunteered. “Talk about a rush, the free fall towards the ground and the thrill of fear that your parachute won’t open. I think I’m going on a cruise next. I need a break from the adrenaline rush. Maybe to Mexico,” Ray said.

“Ooh, we just came back from a cruise. It was fun, wasn’t it, Edward?”

And the cruise had ended with him fleeing to Wyoming to convince Ainsley to marry him. If he had known that was her idea of fun, he would have left the Fairfax house already and found her sister. “Great.”

Cecelia’s hand crept to his leg, giving his knee a small squeeze. He shifted and her hand fell to the chair. She sought him out again, and he let her touch him instead of recoiling.

“What’s wrong?”

He had to strain to hear her soft voice. Concern filled her eyes and bile filled his mouth. If she cared how he felt, she wouldn’t be fawning over Ray. “Nothing.”

“Hey, Ceece—you remember that pizza joint where we used to sing karaoke?”

This was exactly the reason he hadn’t wanted a relationship with someone he loved. They were supposed to be united, but this adrenaline junkie held her attention better than any story he could ever tell. How she must be lamenting saying yes to his proposal. He regretted allowing himself to believe that he could have had a chance at love.

Bennett asked him a question about work and he let Cecelia do her flirting disguised as reminiscing. This had to be a record for forgetting someone’s existence. The meal couldn’t end fast enough.

“Edward.” Sophia hadn’t said much throughout the meal, but now she spoke to him. “You don’t look well. Are you feeling all right?”

“No. I’m a little sick to my stomach. I should go home.” And away from his broken heart.

“If you’re ill, maybe Raymond should take Cecelia home.”

Cecelia opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it. “I think that’s a good idea. You don’t mind, Ray?”

“No, not at all.” He smiled at her. “It will give us more time to talk.”

 Her frown deepened. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

She reached for his hand and he let her take it, fixing the smoothness of the soft skin in his memory. She turned on him as soon as the front door closed behind them. “What’s going on, Edward?”

He shrugged, unwilling to share what was close to his heart. He wasn’t about to let himself open up and give her the opportunity to crush him. “Nothing.”

“It’s obviously something.” She crossed her arms, her foot tapping an impatient cadence on the driveway. “Had you met Ray before? Did he say something to offend you?”

“How can a man who jumps out of airplanes offend me? I don’t even like to fly.”

“That makes no sense.”

His whole life stopped making sense the moment he saw her on the balcony of the cruise ship. He needed that sense back before the rest of his world fell. He opened his car door and slid inside. “I’m going home.”

“Will you call me later?”

He closed the door without answering, leaving her staring after him as he backed out of the driveway.

The beach had always been a place of welcome and Ainsley strolled near the shore line, letting the loud surf and the call of the gulls drown out the thoughts of her heartbreak. The sun set behind her, casting a golden glow over the Atlantic Ocean. In the distance, the beacon from the Sullivan’s Island Lighthouse flashed across the sky.

She took off her sandals and let the rough, white sand filter through her toes before finding a spot and sitting down, salty wind blowing her hair around. Her cell phone rang and she ignored it. It was probably her mother, ready to discuss the situation. When the phone beeped, she listened to the message.

“Love isn’t enough, Ainsley.” Edward’s panicked voice came through, rushed, angry. “That’s all your sister and I have in common. I can’t spend my life wondering every moment what will happen when that love ends. And it will end, Ainsley. It always does.”

What the hell had happened to cause that phone call? Didn’t they get engaged just that morning?

And now what did she do? It was completely unfair of Edward to call her when he couldn’t handle his own emotions. Plus, he was a complete idiot if he presumed her loyalties were with him. She couldn’t call Cecelia to ask her what happened, because then she’d have to explain how she knew. He would come to his senses if she ignored him, like she’d been doing the past two years.

She laid back with a groan, mindless of the sand gathering in her hair. The stars overhead danced in the darkness between sweeps of the lighthouse beacon. She could do anything. Sail around the world. Volunteer more with Habitat. Get another degree. The beam shone overhead, pointing west. The only thing she really wanted to do was go to Wyoming.

“Shut up,” she said out loud. “You can’t be in love with a man who doesn’t believe in you.”

Her heart beat in response, pounding like the waves on the shore. It didn’t matter what her head wanted. She couldn’t pick who to love. Even if it was a man who was perfectly happy using her body and shoving aside his own emotions. Time had lessened the pain of rejection, but she could only hope to get over it.

Her phone rang again and she glanced at the display, hoping it was Cecelia. Instead, Edward’s number flashed across the small screen. Still, she didn’t answer it, waiting again for the message she knew he would leave.

“It’s Edward. Why haven’t you called me yet?”

Wow. Even during his more desperate days, he never called her more than once every five hours.

She shook her head to get rid of the grit that had crept between her loose curls and stuck to her scalp, then gathered her sandals and meandered to her car. Her phone rang once again when she got there, and this time, she was ready.

“What the hell is your problem?” she thundered.

“It’s not going to work with Cecelia. Do you know anyone single? A woman who’s looking for someone like me? I have a better chance of it working out with someone else.” The panicked tone hadn’t left, and she couldn’t tell if he was trying to convince her or himself.

“Edward, what happened?” She softened her tone. He didn’t mean what he was saying, she knew.

“Ray happened.” The bitterness in his tone clued her in that something else was going on. “Cecelia was draped all over him. She ignored me as soon as she realized they knew each other. I can’t live my life wondering when my wife is going to leave me for another man.”

Ainsley wanted to throttle her parents, Edward’s parents, and everyone in their social circle who thought status was more important than love. Edward didn’t know how to handle his feelings. “You’re a coward.”

“I am not.”

“Love isn’t easy. It takes work. It takes
trust
. And you’re entering a whole new world of experiences but I guarantee you’ll be the better man for it. You love my sister, Edward.”

He didn’t answer and a spark of victory glimmered inside her. She let him think about it, counting the stars overhead to keep herself from breaking the silence.

“I love your sister.”

Ainsley did a mental fist pump. “And what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing.” His voice lowered. “I can’t, Ainsley.”

“Just because you’ve never done something about it before doesn’t mean you can’t do it now.” She opened her car door and sat on the seat to put her shoes on. “Don’t let a little fear run your life.”

“Didn’t you run, Ainsley? Why aren’t you in Wyoming?”

She sucked in a breath and fought the wetness that burned in her eyes. What a horrible thing to ask her. She would have stayed if Riley hadn’t broken her heart. “Rejection is different. I didn’t run so much as get pushed out of the state.”

“If you love him, why didn’t you fight for him? You call me a coward, Ainsley, but you’re no different.” His voice softened. “I’m not going to suffer through the heartache of love again. I’m done with it.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away, trying to put together a scathing retort, but a pounding coming through the receiver stopped her before she could say anything. “What’s that?”

“She’s here,” Edward whispered, the panic tingeing his voice again. “She’s at my door. What do I do?”

“Answer it.”

“I can’t face her, Ainsley. I’d much rather sit in my darkened room and pretend I’m not home.”

“You do that and I’m going to call her and tell her you’re hiding. Face your future, Edward.” She hung up, holding no doubt her sister would be able to convince him to follow his heart. If only she had the power to do the same.

More pounding. It echoed the throbbing in his head that matched his racing pulse. He hadn’t been joking about hiding, but he shuffled to the door anyway. His golden angel glared at him from across the entryway.

“Are you kidding me?” she huffed, blowing past him to get inside. He didn’t bother answering, not trusting himself to talk. He closed the door and followed her into the living room.

She poked him in the chest with one long, elegant finger. “Don’t ever desert me at dinner again. Because if you do, that will be your last. You’re out of chances.”

“Where’s Ray?” He stepped away from her, reminding himself why he’d left in the first place.

She folded her arms and frowned. “I never pegged you as the jealous type, Edward. You’ve got to get over yourself.”

She was so beautiful. Her long hair fell in waves over her shoulders and the color in her complexion was heightened by her anger. He glanced away. He’d never experienced this kind of jealousy before. He’d always felt indulgent when Ainsley talked with other men, as if he was humoring her, but this rip-your-heart-out-and-throw-it-in-your-face emotion left him unsure and afraid.

Anger was easier. “You were flirting with him! Right in front of me. What was I supposed to think?”

“Flirting?” Her lips widened into a smile. “Edward, that was a conversation between normal people! You know, what folks do when they haven’t seen each other for a while? We tried including you, but you blew me off for discussions with my father. Had you been paying any attention, you would have known we were mostly talking about our engagement and his girlfriend!” Her breath caught and her gaze dropped to the heart-shaped diamond on her left hand. She curled her fingers. “Our engagement.”

When she looked at him again, her green eyes held a shiny hue. An answering pang exploded in his chest. She stepped around him and almost ran to the front door. “I have to go.”

If she left, he’d never see her again. And while his brain rallied for no emotional involvement, the desire in his heart was so intense a lightning storm sizzled along his veins. He had stayed away from her because she was wrong for him, but living without her would be a punishment worse than the risk of getting hurt. He moved to intercept her.

The tears she had tried to hide streaked down her face and she wiped them away with her palm. “Let me leave.”

“My dad had affairs. So many of them. I’m sure my mom did, too, but I never caught her in one.” He swallowed a gulp of air and stared into her shining eyes. “I love you. I don’t want to be in a situation where my life with you hurts me. It would be so much easier if I didn’t care.”

“But much more lonely.” Her small hands shook as she gripped his. “What we have is special. I’m not your mother and you’re not your father and when I say I love you, it doesn’t mean just today, or this week, or this year. I’m in it forever.” She kissed his hands and held them to her heart. “But you have to trust me. No more running off when you get in a snit. No more deserting me over assumed slights. You have a problem, we discuss it. Deal?”