Wicked Ugly Bad (A Kinda Fairytale) (7 page)

Showtime.

“Oh
no.”  Avenant called in the worst acting performance since what’s-his-face the
giant had starred in the WUB Club’s production of
Cats
last fall.  “Someone
come quickly.  This poor blue ogre is dying.”

Benji
obediently toppled to the floor, clutching his stomach and groaning.  “Ow.  The
pain.  I’m dying.”

“Oh
for God’s sake.”  Scarlett muttered.  “We should have practiced this part more.”

Marrok
had to agree.  He rolled his eyes as Esmeralda entered stage left, still
disguised as Ramona.

“Stay
calm!”  She bellowed to no one in particular and posed for maximum dramatic
effect.  “I’m a doctor!”

“You’re
a psychiatrist.”  Avenant corrected sourly.

“That’s
a doctor!”

“Not
a
real
doctor.”

“Then
why am I called
Doctor
Ramona, wiseass?”

“Still
dying.”  Benji prompted.

“Shit. 
Sorry.  Right.”  Esmeralda got back on script and crouched down beside him.  “Oh
no!  He’s dying!”  She laid one palm on Benji’s torso and the other against her
forehead in tragic repose.  “I cannot bear to see my patient suffer like this. 
We must rush him to the infirmary.  Guards!”  She looked up at the camera over
the security office door.  “Come quickly and help me carry him.  We haven’t a
moment to lose!”

“He’s
dying.”  Avenant reiterated in case they’d missed the point.

“
Dyyyyying.
” 
Benji wailed, getting into the spirit of the show.  “Help me! 
Help!
”

Thankfully,
the WUB Club didn’t employ rocket scientists.  The door to the security office
opened and one of Dr. White’s dwarf henchmen came out.  “Are you sure he’s not
faking it, Dr. Ramona?  A lot of times these fellas play sick in order to get a
few days rest in bed.”

“I
think I know when someone faking an illness.”  Esmeralda scoffed.  “I’m a
doctor
.”

“Psychiatrist.” 
Avenant corrected, even as he covertly used his foot to block the office door
from closing.  “Are there any other guards in the office that can help carry
the ogre?”

Letty
had insisted that they ask that.  The woman was adorable.

“No. 
Just me.”  The dwarf looked a tiny bit intimidated by that fact.

Avenant
gave Marrok a thumbs-up sign.

“
Finally.
” 
Marrok flicked Ramona’s stolen lighter, creating a small flame.  “Next time we
escape a loony bin, Red, we do without the amateurs.”  He lit the paper towel
wick and moved purposefully down the hallway.

The
guard was now gamely trying to heft up a portion of Benji’s massive body
weight, while Avenant criticized his lifting methods and Esmeralda listed
reasons why psychiatrists actually saved more lives than useless medical
doctors.  Benji himself had gone limp, his giant body all akimbo as he
continued to wail.

The
dwarf never saw Marrok grab the handle of the open office door and lob the makeshift
Molotov cocktail inside.  It took less than a second.  Marrok kept walking as
the door swung shut, his pace never faltering as he executed a neat U-turn and
rejoined Scarlett.

Avenant
moved closer to Esmeralda and away from the door.

Benji
squeezed his eyes shut.

Wham!

The
explosion blew the door right off its hinges.  Trapped inside the security
office, the blast was contained, but it effectively destroyed all the computer backups
and surveillance equipment in the WUB Club.

Scarlett
used Marrok’s arm for support and gave a bounce of delight as all the evidence
of Ramona’s attack burned.  “We did it!”  She whispered loudly.

Marrok
glanced down at her and realized having a Good girl for his True Love wasn’t
completely
bad news.  No Baddie could ever smile with that much joy.  “Go team.”  He
drawled.

The
guard was hopping around ineffectually trying to put out the fire with his
stupid hat.

“I’m
feeling better.”  Benji declared and sat up.  “It must have been something I
ate.”

“Thank
God I was here to save you.”  Esmeralda helped him to his feet.  “Now, tell me
about your mother.”

The
guard took off, yelling for someone to bring a fire extinguisher.

“There’s
no way we’re going to get away with this.”  Avenant reported, looking Marrok’s
way as he and Scarlett moved out into the open.  “When questioned, I’ll be
explaining that you forced me into this idiocy at gunpoint.”

“If
I had a gun, you wouldn’t be alive to explain anything.”  Marrok assured him. 
“Now stop being a pussy and accept the fact that my plan worked.”  He gestured
towards the smoldering office.  “Maybe they
are
gonna figure out who
torched the joint, but by that time we’ll be long gone.”

Or
at least Marrok and Scarlett would be.  He didn’t care what happened to the
rest of the Tuesday share circle, regardless of what his den mother of a True
Love had in mind.

“Besides,
it wasn’t like we had a lot of time to come up with a better idea, Avenant.” 
Scarlett pointed out, in what Marrok thought was promising show of solidarity. 
“That tape would incriminate us all.  We had to get rid of it fast.”

“Exactly.” 
Marrok nodded.  “Now, the video surveillance is taken care of and we’re in the
clear.  That’s the only…”

A
voice came over the intercom, cutting him off: 
“Marrok Wolf report to Dr.
White’s office immediately.  Marrok Wolf report immediately to Dr. White.”

Marrok
sighed.  “Aw… fuck.”

Scarlett
looked up at him in horror.

Avenant
instantly headed for the arts and crafts room.  “I was never here.”

“Marrok,
what are we going to do?”  Scarlett demanded, wide eyed.

“I’m
gonna report to Dr. White and you’re not going to do anything until I get back.” 
The last thing he needed was Scarlett coming up with the next step of her
escape without the proper evil guidance.

“What
if she somehow knows you just set that fire?”  She pointed to the burning
office in horror.  “What else
could
she want from you?”

He
didn’t even want to think about it…

Marrok, like
most wolves, scores extremely high on the “loyalty potential” portions of his
mental testing.  With training, he could be taught to heed commands and follow
orders.  Unfortunately, he resists all efforts to properly channel his
impulses.  At this point, he gives his allegiance to no one.

Psychiatric
case notes of Dr. Ramona Fae

“How
would you like to get out of here?”  Dr. Snow White leaned across her desk and
smiled like she was prepared to sell him some magic beans.

Marrok
settled into an uncomfortable office chair and tried not to scoff at the
out-of-the-blue offer.  “Wow, you really think I’m rehabilitated?  I
have
been feeling a lot more in touch with my inner child, but I thought release was
still a ways off.”

“Don’t
try to bullshit me, Wolf.”

Snow
White looked like a china doll, but she hadn’t enslaved the dwarves through her
charms.  She was tough as nails and always seeking ways to acquire more power. 
The walls of her dimly lit office were lined with the heads of various
creatures she’d hunted and ripped the hearts out of.  Also, there were
mirrors.  Many, many mirrors.

To
Marrok’s way of thinking, the chick was just as crazy as everyone else in the
WUB Club, she just hid it behind diplomas and too much lipstick.

“We
test the blood of everyone who comes through the door.”  She continued, her ruby
red lips pursed smugly.  “Budgets cuts mean it sometimes takes weeks for us to
get the results, but today Scarlett Riding’s came through. Guess the
first
thing our medical staff saw when they plugged her data into the computer?”

“Knowing
that girl, whatever it is I’m betting it wasn’t sexually transmitted.”

“She’s
your
True Love
.”  Dr. White smiled as she delivered that news, but there
was no humor in it.  Just greed.  “It popped up on the mystio-physiological
screening.  We always run those, to make sure True Loves aren’t lodged
together.  But, I have to say I was surprised to see
your
name attached
to the most notorious ugly stepsister in the Four Kingdoms.”

“She’s
not ugly.”  Marrok delivered that massive understatement with an admirable
amount of equanimity considering his mind was racing.  What was this really
about?

“But
she
is
notorious.”  Dr. White arched a black brow.  “If some of the
rumors about her family are true, it’s no surprise she’s unrepentantly evil. 
Blood will tell, after all.”

He
had no clue what she was talking about, but it didn’t matter.  “Wolves can’t
choose their True Loves.  Notorious or not, Scarlett is mine.”

A
wiser person would’ve heard the warning in that statement, but Good folk always
thought they were the smartest people in the room.  Dr. White kept talking.

“I
know you’re probably feeling…
something
for the girl.”  She waved a
hand, dismissing the cornerstone of any wolf’s life like it was a high school
crush.  “But, Scarlett’s got enemies that go straight up to top.  Nothing can
save her and you don’t want to get mixed up in her mess.  You’re a smart guy,
for your kind.”

“Not
smart enough, apparently.”

She
disregarded that.  “And, really… there are True Loves and then there are
True
Loves.
”  She flashed him a knowing look.  “You’re the most famous wolf
alive.  You’ve reportedly had princesses in your bed.  Women who would
ordinarily
never
let a Baddie touch them, offer huge sums to have you. 
Surely you had someone…
more
in mind for your wife.”

Actually,
he’d had someone
less
in mind.

Less
wholesome.  Less aggravating.  Less… Good.

But,
there weren’t True Loves and
True Loves
.  To wolves, there was just MINE.

Good
folk would never understand that or comprehend the lengths any self-respecting
Baddie would go to keep what was theirs.  Until Marrok knew where this meeting
was headed, though, he was willing to play along with this insanity.  His
annoying little True Love was being insulted and threatened, two things wolves
didn’t take kindly to.  Still, he needed to know why Scarlett was so important
that the Powers That Be were apparently even willing to let
him
go free
if it meant getting what they wanted from her.

What
the hell was Letty mixed up in?

“If
I were you,” Dr. White continued, “I’d make the best of this situation and use
that girl to get out of here.”

“How
could I do that?”  Marrok spread his hands as if he was stymied.

“Well,
I can help you.  I happen to know that her stepsister is very eager to find
something Scarlett has.  If you were to help us get it back from her…”  Dr.
White let her voice trail off enticingly.

“Right.”
 Marrok pretended to ponder the weird offer.  “I could do that, I guess.  Would
it be hidden in her bedroom or…?”

“No,
I’ve searched everyplace in the hospital.  She has to have it stashed outside
somewhere.  You need to get her to tell you where it is.”

“Alright. 
First I need to know
what
it is, though.”

“A
glass slipper.”

Marrok
squinted.  “Like
the
glass slipper?”

“
Exactly.
”

“How
did Scarlett get Cinderella’s shoe?”

Better
question: Why would she steal used footwear?  Why not a golden scepter or
something that was worth real cash on the secondary market?  Letty wasn’t an
idiot, so she had to have a reason, but damn if he knew what it was.

“Who
knows how she got her hands on it.”  Dr. White shrugged.  “Cinderella had the
shoe locked up, in preparation for the royal wedding, and somehow Scarlett got
through the security.  I don’t know how
any
of you Baddies commit your
crimes.  Like the rest of your kind, she’s just evil and fiendishly cunning, I
suppose.”

Scarlett
was the least evil person in the Four Kingdoms.  Now that Marrok saw the truth,
it shocked him how easily everyone else wrote her off as wicked, ugly and Bad,
without noticing she was really idealistic, beautiful and irritatingly virtuous. 
Even for Good folk that was pretty fucking blind.

And
no
way
had she stolen that shoe.  It was way above her criminal
skillset.  Granted, Letty was clever and scheming, but a successful B&E of
the palace…?  He could more easily imagine her leading the town’s people on a
strike for unionization than ninja-stealthing into a castle to crack a safe.

Something
was very wrong here.

The
door to Dr. White’s office burst open and Ramona stumbled in.  It only took
Marrok half a second to know that Esmeralda was no longer driving the good
doctor’s face and body.