Authors: Needa Warrant,Miranda Rights
He scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He expected her to pull away from him but she didn’t; she held her face in her hands and shook her head repeatedly.
“I’m not doin’ this ‘cause of Conan, Sela.” It was his pet name for her and he hadn’t used it in over thirteen years but he thought it was fitting now. “He doesn’t know us, therefore, all we were…all we
are,
in his eyes, are sperm and egg donors. Kian and Alannah are his parents—not
us
. I would never guilt you into doing something you didn’t want to do.”
Gisela buried her face in the crook of his neck. “Then why did you tell me? I would have defended you if you said you killed Christ himself, and I hate myself for that…but I hate you more.”
Cillian didn’t know what to say. The wetness of her tears felt warm before they quickly cooled and felt cold against his skin. “I know you do, darlin’…and you have every reason to. Doesn’t mean I don’t love youse with every bone in my body. I would still take a bullet, or catch a fookin’ grenade, for you, baby. That’s how much I still think about ya and love ya.
“I know I use women. I just got done fuckin’ Chiara but I would take it all back to spend just one night in your bed. You know I would. You’re the one who made it clear to me you wanted nothing to do with me—with us. I did what any sixteen-year-old kid would do—I moved on and Brianna was there, wantin’ me and seducin’ me with those gorgeous gray eyes. How was I supposed to know you’d ever speak to me again when I betrayed your trust?”
“We hurt each other.” Gisela pulled away slightly and he felt her eyes on his profile. “I can’t let you take all the credit. I just wanted out…I thought at one time it was possible. I was stupid and naïve. I didn’t want to live this…
life
…and I sure as hell never wanted it for my children. I wanted what I thought was normal with parents who were executives and
respectable
. The problem is our way of life enables white-collar criminals to skate by and they never pay for their crimes but our kind
always
does.”
“What do you mean by
our
kind?” He turned toward her, though he didn’t move his arm. Who knew when she would be vulnerable enough to ever let him hold her again?
“I mean people like your dad and my father. We’re considered the scum of society because of what we do. I release drug dealers, murderers, pimps, and gang members back into society. I am actively fighting
against
the war on crime, and I don’t see anything wrong with my job what-so-ever. You’re more than an ‘ordinary decent criminal,’ Cillian. You are part of an MC and murder people like you take a dump. In fact, do you ever think about the lives you’ve ended?”
Cillian’s crystal blue eyes stared into hers and with coldness and precise calculation, he said, “No, never. If I did, I’d drive myself mad. I have to think if there is a God maybe I’ll get what’s comin’ to me one of these days. But, until that day happens, I’ll do what I do best and whether you believe me or not, Sela, I’m the
best
. There’s a reason they nicknamed me ‘The Killer.’ I
am
one and I have no qualms about what I do. It’s not on me to fix what’s fucked up with society and, yet, I don’t see how I personally make it any worse either. The people I’ve murdered…most were infinitely worse than me and the world doesn’t mourn them. They got what was comin’ to ‘em.”
She smiled slightly. “I always did love your honesty.”
“So, about tonight…”
“What about it?”
Cillian yawned out loud. “I’m mighty tired. Please don’t make me drive all the way back to Birch Tree tonight. I don’t think I can stand to see Brianna…not now.”
“You can stay over and I won’t even put you on the sofa if you do me one favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Take another shower and brush your teeth. I have some extra toothbrushes in the cabinet for my Sonicare toothbrush and there should be some spare men’s boxers around.”
Cillian opened his mouth to object as she stood and held her hands up. “I don’t give a crap if you showered over at Chiara’s house. I am
not
sleeping in the same bed as a man who just crawled out of a
whore’s
sheets. Sorry, it’s not how I roll, Cillian, and you oughta know that.”
“Chiara is an escort—a highly expensive one at that—and she’s one of the cleanest women I have ever met. If I were you, I’d be more worried about me sleeping with my old lady.”
Gisela stopped walking and turned around to face him. “If you’d come from fucking her, you wouldn’t get in my bed, no matter how tired you were.”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry,
love
, you know how I’m all about the truth.” She smiled before disappearing into the bedroom.
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