Authors: Robyn Carr
“Don’t you dare leave me like this.” Then she stroked his bearded face. “We’ll be all right. It’s a good time of the month to take a chance and there’s morning-after help….”
“Too scary,” he said, shaking his head. Too many issues, too much risk. “We should get it right the first time.” He gently moved her off his lap. “I have to go while I can still walk.”
She was almost panting, her breath was coming so hard.
He leaned down and touched her lips. “I’ll see you soon. And next time I won’t leave you. Go take a nice, warm, bubbly bath and… Well, you’ll be fine.” Then he smiled.
“If you leave me like this, don’t bother to come back!” she said meanly.
He lifted her chin, stared deeply into her eyes and said, “Oh, I’ll be back. And you’re going to be glad, I promise. This will never happen to us again.” He stood to his full height. “I didn’t mean for it to go like this, Jilly. I’ll make it up to you.”
“You’d better,” she said, but she said it more softly.
W
hen Denny asked Jack what he wanted people to know about their situation Jack said, “It’s best to start off with the truth. That way there are fewer details to remember. Unless you’d like to keep it under wraps—so far only Mel and Preacher know.”
Under wraps? Denny shook his head. “I’m not embarrassed. The opposite, in fact. But now
you…
”
Jack put a strong hand on Denny’s shoulder and said, “As surprises go, this is one of the better ones I’ve had. If I have any regrets it’s that I never knew, that I wasn’t a father to you. I’m going to feel bad about that for a long time.”
“If we’re going to have a good relationship now, you’re going to have to let go of that one. I’m not upset about it. My mom did the best she could for me. She protected me whenever she could. She warned me—twenty years after the fact, even five years after the fact, that the Marine who is my father could be a very different man from the one she knew when she was twenty. We know all about that, Jack. There were wars and stuff—some guys can deal, some can’t. She said she thought it would be best if I’d just enjoy the knowledge that the guy she was with when
I was conceived, the one whose DNA I have, was a stand-up guy when she knew him. Someone I could be proud of.” He smiled a little. “That was nice, knowing that. But I know it wasn’t part of her game plan that I go looking for you.”
“I’m going to have to call my dad,” Jack said. “He’s seventy-four now….”
“I think you told me that before…. Before you went to Sacramento over the holidays…”
“In perfect health,” Jack said. “But even with that, he has less time to get to know you as family than I have.”
Denny gave a laugh. “I never had much family, much less the number I’m related to now! I mean, I had grandparents when I was real little, but I barely remember them. What’s your family going to think of this? Of me? I mean, you totally get that I don’t want anything, right?”
“Of course, son,” Jack said. “Mel thinks we should verify all this with a blood test.”
“Sure. I can do that. When?”
“We’ll get to that. Right now I think we have more pressing issues. Even though we’re already friends, now we have to know each other on a completely different level.”
“How do we do that?” Denny asked.
“Do you fish?” Jack wanted to know.
Denny shrugged. “I dropped a line a couple of times….”
“That’s not fishing. When’s your next day off from the Jillian farm?”
“Any day I ask for,” he said.
“Ask for a day. That’s when I teach you real fishing. Fly-fishing. That’s the best place I can think of for a couple of men to get to know each other better.”
“Sounds good,” Denny said with a laugh.
“But I am gonna call my dad,” Jack said. “You think I’m finally old enough that he can’t ground me?”
Jillian had a date to have sex, but she didn’t know when or where.
After seeing Colin she spent the next day puttering around the property and every now and then she would feel the heat rise to her cheeks as she remembered that not only had she been close to doing the deed on her back porch, she had yelled at Colin for not finishing the job. Should a woman apologize for that? And what exactly would the wording be?
“Sorry I was such a wild, demanding, easy woman?”
She’d never before in her life offered herself up like a main course.
Never.
And all that after stipulating she had no interest in a boyfriend or a relationship! Didn’t sex constitute a relationship? For the love of God!
She hadn’t had many partners, but she’d made each one work for her. She’d always had absolute expectations of it lasting, or she wouldn’t have gone that far. When Kurt was pursuing her she held out for a couple of months before she finally gave in and, really, she could have held out longer.
And yet with Colin? Arguably the hottest man she’d ever kissed and here she was with a different set of expectations—that they would have
no
expectations!
But then she’d never met a man like Colin before. Something about him made her want him wildly.
“You feeling okay, Miss Matlock? Jillian?” Denny asked.
“Huh?” she said, turning to look at him. He was hauling another flat of seed cups into the greenhouse. “What?”
“I asked if you were feeling okay. You look a little, I don’t know, flushed. And you’re awful quiet.”
“Sorry, I’m concentrating,” she said, marking more of her seed cups. “I feel fine, though.” In fact, she felt turned on. Every time she thought about Colin pulling her onto his lap, thought about straddling him and pushing against his erection, a new quivering jolt of electricity would flash through her panties. This was as confusing as it was exciting—Jillian had been around plenty of attractive men in her day and it was hardly the first time she’d felt the rising heat of desire, but never so much, so fast, so powerful. There was some crazy chemistry going on with Colin.
What if he decided it wasn’t in his best interest to come back? After the way she’d behaved?
This whole situation with Colin was not a world she was familiar with. In her world people exchanged phone numbers and if a man interested you, you gave him your business card, email address and office number. You didn’t go after him like a hungry cat on the back porch and then yell at him for not going all the way! She didn’t even know how to reach him or where he lived and the only way he could reach her was by driving to her house—without an appointment.
“I’m completely out of my mind,” she muttered.
“What’s that, Miss Matlock?” Denny asked.
“I’m completely out of my mind…. To think I can grow Purple Calabash. And, for the love of Christ, will you please call me Jillian! Or Jill!”
He laughed at her. “Sure thing, Jillian. And if anyone can grow it, I bet you can. You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say.”
She turned toward him. “What’s that, Denny?”
“I don’t know how to say it. I like the work here—I guess that’s how you say it. I’m kind of into it. I hope you
still need me when the seedlings sprout, when the fruit comes in.”
She smiled happily at that. “I like that. I’ll keep you busy as long as I can. It all depends on the plants.”
“I get that—if they don’t come in strong, it’s not working.”
“That’s about it.”
“So there’s this other thing,” he said. “I know I’m younger than you by about eight years, but—”
She stiffened. She got serious. “You aren’t going to ask me to adopt you, are you, Denny?”
“No,” he said with a laugh. “I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner. Just to Jack’s, but it’s about the best dinner around.”
All of a sudden she had a cold feeling rush through her. “We can’t ever,” she said, maybe a little more harshly than she meant to. She took a deep breath; this young man was the furthest thing from a schemer she knew. “If we have dinner together at Jack’s, which I’d like to do, we have to go Dutch. You work for me. I would be exploiting you by dating you.”
“Seriously?” he asked with a laugh.
“As a heart attack,” she said.
“Whoa,” he said. “I wouldn’t see it as exploiting. I’d kind of see it as a miracle. But I wasn’t really thinking of it as a date, Jillian. I was more thinking of it as a thank-you. For the work, the job.”
She caved; she smiled back. “You are the best guy,” she said. “Okay, here’s a secret. Are you good for it? A secret?”
“They’ll have to rip my tongue out,” he said.
“I’m kind of seeing someone.”
“Oh, let me guess. The painter?”
“Now why would you say that?” she asked, hands on her hips.
“I don’t know. Because no one else came to mind? But I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”
“It’s casual….” Jill said self-consciously. “Unofficial. That’s why I said ‘kind of’ and never expected you to guess….”
“I won’t tell. But I notice you do get a little happy when he comes around.” Oh,
happy
didn’t touch it, she thought. She got crazy, liquid, wild and demanding—a complete out-of-body experience. That’s what
happy
did to her.
“Well, if it doesn’t work out with the painter, let me know,” Denny said, grinning at his own joke. “Seriously, Miss…Jillian, I was just being social. I wasn’t planning to propose or anything. I just thought it might be good if you got out more.” Then he smiled. “You know, do the town.”
“That’s cool. I guess I misinterpreted your intention. Because rule number one—you can’t get away with dating your boss.”
“Aw, I never thought of it that way. I admit, I didn’t expect the boss thing—I expected the age thing.”
“Well, there’s that, too,” she said. And then, because he was such a darling young man and such a hard worker, she added, “but you are mature for your age.”
His chest puffed up and his eyes twinkled. “Thank you, Miss Matlock. So are you.”
At that, she threw a fistful of manure at him.
When you’re basically a farmer and not sure when your brand-new potential lover could be coming to call, it’s hard to know when is a good time to shower off the dirt and grime. Now that the sun was setting later, Jillian liked to
put in a longer day in the garden, but given the possibility that Colin could show up unannounced, she sent Denny off at five and then jumped in the shower.
She shaved above the knees, a desperate and obvious move. She put lotion on her entire body, blew her hair so it would be thick and soft, even put on a little makeup. But when she dressed it was in a comfy sweat suit—a soft, clean, powder-blue set. She slipped into the fluffy slippers. When she walked out of the maid’s quarters, there he was, sitting in her recliner, feet raised up, paging through a seed catalog. She put her hands on her hips and let out a sigh.
“I heard the shower and didn’t want to scare you,” he said. “But if you’re really determined to keep people like me out, there are always locks.” She
wasn’t
determined to keep him out! She had never been so glad to see anyone and tried not to let that show on her face. “I’m kind of surprised you came back,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me last night. I don’t think I was very nice to you.”
He tossed the catalog aside. “When a woman gives me hell for leaving her unsatisfied, I take that very seriously.” He hoisted himself out of the chair. She blushed and he chuckled. Then he said, “I can see why you like this recliner—it’s a good chair. Have you eaten?”
She shook her head.
“Would you like me to take you out for a meal?” he asked.
She ground her teeth and pinched her eyes closed. When she opened them she found him grinning at her, making fun of her.
Should I feed you before I scratch your itch?
His teeth, so white against that brown beard just about did her in.
“You don’t invest a lot in your women, do you, Colin?” she asked.
“Oh, Jilly, I give them everything I’ve got. Know what I’d like to do?” he asked her. “I’d like to go up on the roof and have a look at the sunset from there. You game?”
She showed him a little smile. “I love it up there. You can see forever—almost all the way to the ocean.”
“Take me up to the roof, Jilly,” he said, his voice hoarse and his eyes glowing.
The climb was three flights and she heard him moan a little behind her as they tackled the last staircase. She looked over her shoulder. “Okay?”
“I should do more of this,” he said. “My leg still gets stiff and sometimes it’s not real strong. But I’m keeping up with you.”
“Just watch your step—there’s not much I can do if you fall off the roof.” But it wasn’t a dangerous roof—it was flat, about six by twelve, surrounded by an eighteen-inch tall, decorative, wrought-iron border. If this house had been built on the coast in the 1800s, the wife of a sea captain would have climbed up to the roof to scan the horizon, watching for the sight of sails, waiting for her man to return to her.
And when Colin reached the top he snatched off his hat, ran a hand over his head and said, “God.” He turned full circle and took in the view. “This is better than I imagined.”
“You like to be up high,” she said.
“Ironically, not so much. I’m kind of afraid of heights. A lot of pilots are. We like flying—we don’t like hanging close to edges of cliffs and stuff. This is good, though. Feels secure in a way.” He dropped down, sitting on the roof. “Come here,” he said. And when she sat, he pulled her between his long legs, his knees raised, her back
against his chest, his arms around her waist, and they faced in the direction of the coast, the sunset. “Now see, that’s beautiful. I’m full of good ideas.”
“I sit up here and talk to my sister on the cell phone,” she told him. “The connection is weak on the first floor of the house and outside with all the trees. But up here it’s good. And I love it up here, especially at sunrise and sunset.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “I spotted you the first time from up here.”
“That’s why this spot is all cleaned off—you come up here a lot….”
“I swept it so I could sit up here. I just haven’t gotten around to bringing up any chairs.”
He pulled the hair away from her neck and put his lips there. “Hmm. Nice,” he said. One hand slipped under her shirt. He sucked on her neck and grabbed a bare breast at the same time. “Hmm,” he said. “Even nicer. So glad you didn’t get overdressed.”
She laughed lightly, then he gave her nipple a tender pinch and she gasped with pleasure. She scooted farther back against him.
“Do me a favor, Jilly,” he whispered. “Unlace those boots for me.”
“You better tell me what’s going to happen here first,” she said.
“Anything you want,” he answered hoarsely. “Everything you want.”
“On top of the house?”
His other hand went under her shirt and he held a breast in each hand. “With the setting sun?” he asked. “Nice and easy, nice and slow, nice and out of your mind?”
“That’s a little crazy!”
“We’re not going to fall off—there’s a little fence. And
I get the impression you are a little crazy.” He kissed her neck again. “You’re not any more tame than I am.”
“But I never knew it,” she said. “I thought I was on the very conservative side.” Then she groaned and reached for his boot laces, untying and loosening them. He used the toe of one to push off the heel of the other and within just a second, both boots were sitting behind him, out of the way. He reached a hand behind his neck, gathered up his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. “I’m scarred, Jilly. You should see it before it takes you by surprise and scares you. It might turn you off.”