Willing Captive (7 page)

I
fall asleep thinking
I’m going to do what I can to make the best of this
situation
.

***

I wake feeling
awful. My face is puffy and my eyes are sore. I’m sure they’re a
nice shade of red to match my mortification about last night’s
stunt.

Turning, I look to
the door and see that Nox is gone.

Good. That would’ve
been creepy to wake up to.

Staying in bed seems
like a good idea. I pull the covers up over my head and lay in my
little cocoon of make believe. In this cocoon, I can be anywhere I
want. Anywhere in the world. Hell, I won’t even restrict myself to
the world! Neverland, Wonderland, and the moon are all great places
too.

All those places
sound good but my mind keeps taking me back to my family.

The covers fly off
of me and Rock stands there scowling down at me with both hands on
his hips. “Anyone ever told you you’re nuts?”

I
nod slowly in agreement and his face softens marginally. “Well, you
are. Fucking
mamaluko
. Don’t even think about doing that again,
Lily. It was a shithead move.” Running a hand through his hair, he
sighs then asks, “Hungry?”

Not in the
slightest.

Sliding out of bed,
I put on the robe that hangs at the back of my door and I walk with
Rock down to the kitchen to find Boo already behind the stove
making scrambled eggs. I haven’t eaten much in the last two days
and I know I should be hungry but I’m really not. I’m sure this has
something to do with the events of the last few days. The thought
of doing something so mundane like enjoying a meal makes my stomach
turn. Boo turns and smiles, “Hey D, just making some breakfast. I
know you’ve gotta be hungry.”

Not wanting an
argument, I simply nod and she fills a plate with eggs, bacon, and
toast. It looks great but I pick at it.

It’s freakin’ bacon.
I love bacon.

I look up in time to
see Rock and Boo having a silent conversation with their eyes. They
both turn to me and immediately know they’re busted. Rock urges
softly, “C’mon, Lily. Eat, babe.”

Moving food around
with my fork, I make a show of forcing a small amount of eggs into
my mouth. The eggs are soft and easy to swallow. I fear the bacon
won’t go down as easily. Pushing my plate forward, I whisper,
“Please, excuse me.” Without waiting for an answer, I stand on weak
legs and take the long walk back up to my room.

Being happy here is
going to be harder than I thought. I make a stop at the library and
hope that my love of all things books will help me out of this hard
time. Choosing some classics, I hold them tight to my chest and
walk back to my room.

When I step out into
the hall, I see Nox at the opposite end. We both stop walking and
stare each other down. He eyes the books I clutch to my chest as if
they were made of solid gold. I lower my chin to my chest and walk
to my room. Being petty, I shut the door with a light slam. My
smartass retort already planned, I wait for an angry Nox to throw
it open with threats of breaking it down.

But he never
comes.

***

Nox

How I could fuck up
a job so quickly is beyond me.

“
You fucked up, bro.” I look up to find the doorway to my
office filled with two-hundred pounds of stupid. “Shouldn’t have
put your hands on her.”

I know this. I
shouldn’t have. I fucked up. Bad. When you got trust issues with
your protected, you got issues. Period. Not being able to stay
silent any longer, I type away at my laptop and tell him
distractedly, “I apologized already.”

Rock pushes off from
the doorframe and sits in the chair across from me. “You didn’t see
her this morning, man. She’s thinking about it. Thinking too much.
Why not let her speak to her dad for a minute? Or the sister? Fuck,
even her mom! Just give her something.” I glare at my friend as he
appeals, “Anything, man. She’s fallin’ apart.”

Rock has sisters, and being Italian
, he was extremely protective of them. He
hates to see a woman in pain of any kind. You would never guess it
to look at him but the guy wears his heart on his sleeve. We met on
the day of my first mission. It was his first mission, too. When he
introduced himself to me, I thought he was gonna be useless. No way
could a guy that smiles and jokes as much as he does be a valuable
ally on the field.

How wrong was I?

Not fifteen minutes
in, we’re under attack and the other members of our unit are
dropping like flies. For a spilt second, I panicked and lowered my
weapon to look at the destruction surrounding me. By the time I
realized I had someone at my back, it was too late. I threw my arms
up in surrender when the guy was taken out.

By Rock.

Never seen someone do a complete one eighty like that. I swear
he’s got multiple personalities. He can be your best friend, your
worst enemy, a philosopher, and a comedian all rolled into
one.

Rock urges, “C’mon,
man. It’s just a phone call.”

Typing away, I throw
him an aloof, “Not happening.”

Shaking his head,
obviously disappointed in me, he stands and leaves my office. As
soon as he leaves, I lean back in my chair with a sigh.

Should’ve never
taken this job.

Chapter
Six
Miserable

Lily

Three days. It’s been three days since my escape attempt and
I’m beginning to feel like a caged animal. Well, that’s not true.
Not
entirely
true
anyway.

I
feel like that white, glowing alien from the movie
‘
Cocoon: The
Return’,
who gets
taken to that lab by the ocean and gets tested, but because he’s
taken so far away from what’s normal to him, his health starts to
decline and he loses his glow.

Yeah. That’s a
pretty accurate explanation.

I’m an
Antarean
who’s lost its glow.

I
haven’t been able to stomach much more than a handful of food each
day. I’m depressed. I know it.
It’s like going from one prison to another.
Transferred, really.
I feel weak. And alone.
And not at all myself. Being helpless is a shitty feeling. The
smallest things become overwhelming.

Nox comes to my room
each night, places the rocking chair in my doorway, and watches me
sleep. As if I’m going to try to escape again. I don’t have the
energy to even try.

I’m so very
tired.

Rock and Boo take
turns trying to get me to eat. I can see they’re worried. I wish I
cared enough to do it to make them happy. At least they treat me
like a human. Not like Nox. He treats me like a prisoner.

It’s hard not to
laugh around Rock. He’s such a clown. He always has a joke to tell
or is doing something so seriously ridiculous that you can’t help
but laugh at him. Last night, he tried to dry his socks in the
microwave.

Yeah.

Then Boo yelled at
him. She told him the oven works better.

Yeah.

I have no idea who
I’m living with.

They aren’t exactly
bad
people. Now that my fear of them has worn off, I can see they
aren’t all bad. They’re determined, though. Since the night I tried
to run and Boo had that little talk with me about there being no
better person to protect me than Nox, I’ve been torn.

My head tells me not
to trust them, but my heart begs me to take a chance. I haven’t had
friends in a long time. And hanging out with Rock and Boo…it almost
feels like friendship.

Nox lurks in the
shadows of the background. A ghostly figure of apparent protection.
Boo and Rock force me out of my room and into the living room to
watch TV with them. And there he’ll be, sitting at the breakfast
bar, typing away on his laptop, looking over at us when he thinks
no one is watching.

But I’m watching.
Always watching.

What the hell is his
deal?

Boo and Rock will
talk, well, they’ll argue and I’ll listen, while Nox peers over at
us through furrowed brows. They always try to include me in their
conversations…well, arguments, but I don’t have a lot to say these
days.

Nox bumped into me
yesterday and I teetered, he steadied me by placing his large hands
on my hips. I muttered quietly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you
there.” And he looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. Sometimes,
I think it might be true.

Losing my mind, that
is - very slowly.

So, here I am, lying
in bed at two in the afternoon, trying not to misplace any more of
my already fading mind. Not even reading is helping.

My stomach is in a
constant clench, my body rigid, my head pounding, my teeth gritted.
Tension has me strung tighter than a bow.

A knock on the
doorframe brings me out of my head space. Lifting my head quickly,
my vision swirls and I place a hand to my forehead to steady
myself. Shaking my head a little, I see Boo stand there wearing a
worried expression. “You okay, Deedee?”

“
Fine, thanks. Just a little tired.” I answer
quietly.

“
Not sleeping well?”

Sleep? What is that?
Running a hand through my knotted hair, I say, “Ah, no. Not so
much. What’s up?”

Boo holds out a
plate stacked with sandwiches, potato chips and fruit on it. It
looks great but my stomach immediately tightens. Looks like this
will be another wasted meal.

Smiling a completely
forced smile, I tell her, “Thank you. It looks great.”

I don’t want to be
mean to Boo; she’s only ever been nice to me, and even though I
resent being kept here, she doesn’t deserve my bitchiness.
Standing, I take the plate with a smile and put it on the
nightstand. Her face falls as she questions, “You’re not hungry?
You haven’t eaten much the last few days. Maybe eating would help
your fatigue.”

Still wearing a
strained smile, I lie, “Yeah. Sure. I’ll eat soon. Thanks
again.”

Opening a book, I
don’t look back up. I hear her leave and my body eases slightly.
Not five minutes pass when Nox appears at my door, scowling.

Stomping over to the
nightstand, he takes the plate and thrusts it under my chin.
“Eat.”

I mentally sigh. I
don’t want to deal with him right now. Taking the plate, I utter
politely, “Thank you, but I’m not very hungry right now. I’ll eat
later.”

“
Bullshit.”

My head snaps up. “I
beg your pardon?”

He leans down closer
to me. “I said bullshit.” Not sure what to say, I lower my head
back to my book and pretend to read. Nox goes on, “I get that
you’re not very hungry. That’s fine. Actually quite normal in this
situation. But I call bullshit on this change of attitude. What’s
with all the pleases and thank yous? That’s not the fiery girl I
met a week ago, and it sure as hell is not the girl I had under
surveillance. What happened to her?” My body tenses further. Nox
leans down and asks quietly, “Where’d she go, Lily?”

Suddenly angry, I
whisper through curled lips, “You broke her, Nox. Happy now?”

My anger fades and
is replaced with humiliation when he answers, “Hell no, she was a
fucking hoot. This pitiful version of her makes me mad. I don’t
like this Lily, bring back the old one. You know? The strong
one.”

Dropping my book, I
ball my fists tightly by my sides.

Nox spots it and
says, “There she is. Just gotta figure out how to get her to stay
with us because,” he scoffs, “polite Lily blows. She’s the type who
wants a pity party. She’s the type who refuses to eat or get mad,
or join us here in the real world.” Just when I think I couldn’t
get angrier, I’m proved wrong when his lips touch the shell of my
ear and he whispers, “She’s pathetic.”

It all happens in
slow motion.

My
hand slides under the plate and flings it upward. The sandwich,
fruit and potato chips fly through the air and I watch with wide
eyes as they hit Nox in the chest, neck, and stomach. My mouth
forms an
O
and I start to apologize
until I see his smirk.

This is no ordinary
smirk.

This smirk is
victorious.

Jumping up on the bed, my lips part and the last three days of
compressed hatred eject out of my mouth. “You pulled my hair! No!
Not only did you pull my hair, but you
dragged
me back to the house by my ponytail like I was a
freaking dog on a lead!” Pointing to my pillow, I screech, “I
haven’t slept in three days, Nox! Do you know what that does to a
person?” I pace on my bed. “You were all like, ‘I’m sorry, it won’t
happen again’ and just expected me to let it go. I’ve never had a
man touch me in anger and you just blew it off like it was nothing.
Know what I say to that, Nox?” Turning to face him, I bend at the
waist and shriek in his face, “Fuck you! That’s what I say to that!
Take your goddamn sorry and shove it up your ass.” Straightening, I
hold my arms out by my sides. “Oh, but you’ll have to remove the
stick you have up there first to make room.”

My
eyes widen and I lift my index finger. “Oh! And you know what I’ve
also figured out?” Nox stares at me, completely void of any
emotion. I go on, “Having someone watch you while you sleep is
creepy! Not creepy, but…” I wiggle my fingers in the air in front
of me. “…
creepy
!”

Nox continues to
watch me through a steady gaze. Panting, I straighten once more and
mutter hoarsely, “I’m going insane here, Nox. It would really help
if you’d just let me be.”

Realizing I’ve
expelled what little energy I had left, my knees shake and just as
they buckle, I reach out to grip his shoulders. At the very same
time, he reaches forward and grasps my waist tight. When he looks
down to see his fingers almost touching, he frowns at my obvious
loss of weight. “Gotta eat something. Anything, Lily. You tell me
what you think you could eat and I’ll fix it for ya.”