Willoughby 03 - A Rogue's Deadly Redemption (24 page)

“Because the only person allowed to kill you is me. How far has this spread?”

“Lily knows, no one else. I’m not here because I’ve been discovered.”

“Then what?”

“I told them I wanted out. That I would not continue to create the plates. They declined my resignation and tried to kill me instead.”

“That is why Cary died?” Marcus stepped back, leaned against his desk.

“Cary came to see me. He was with me when the men captured me.” The constant knot of pain was growing familiar. “He was in the wrong place, and I wish to hell I could change it.”

“Edwin?”

“He died trying to save me. Kane won’t stop. He has as much to prove to the captain as I wanted to. I stated my intent in a room full of Kane’s men. Some of who are dead now, yes, but Kane has to retain his respect, his position. He threatened Lily. If I won’t do the work, he won’t let me live and he’s not above using her to get what he wants. I will not let him hurt her.”

“How do you intend to do that? Kill him yourself?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“There are ways to work within our legal system. You have information, that’s a powerful commodity.”

“So get myself arrested? That is your plan?”

“Not if we exchange information you can share on how the banks can solve the forgeries. The committee—”

“Your committee members are idiots. I could strike through most, if not all of their suggestions on how to fix the problem.”

“Such as?”

“The Bank’s note is not complicated to create. My plates are some of the best there are, but shoddier creations would also pass. The note itself is not difficult to duplicate. There is no vignette on the note, which is what preserves the notes from the country banks, like Plymouth. You’ll not find their notes forged upon often, and yet jolly old Bank of England here in London refuses to emulate their work. Education as the cornerstone of change?” He scoffed. “The people to whom he wants to hand out pamphlets are busy
surviving
. They have no desire or time to read words that condescend to them. Instead, focus on making the notes impossible to forge. Make the process more difficult. You could consider the use of steel plates, rather than copper, which would allow for more intricate vignettes and drawings.”

Marcus held up a hand. “All right, I—”

“No, not all right. I cannot sit by and have tea and scones with the men on your committee. It will take them a year to decide their next move, and I have to act now. I have to stop Kane.”

“I cannot fathom why you would turn toward something so dangerous.” He turned away and paced behind his desk. “Why you would forsake our family, your own wife, to get involved with criminals. Good God, Robert, do you hate us that much?”

“Can’t you just help me?” The words pulled from Robert’s gut, laced with frustration, with the urgent pressing need to protect the woman he loved. “Kane is not biding time, discussing his failures. He is getting ready to
move
.”

“If you want my help, it will be my way. These will be
my
peers I’m calling favors on, Robert. My name on the line to save your neck.”

A slight knock on the door interrupted and the butler appeared again. “Please forgive the intrusion, my lord, but you have
more
visitors.”

“At this hour? Who is it?”

“The Duke of Ravensdale and the Earl of Merewood.”

Robert groaned and stemmed the urge to slam a fist into the wood-paneled wall.

“Send them in.” After Hasgood closed the door, he looked at Robert. “What do they know?”

The sketches. He’d left them at Merewood’s home. The bitter taste of bile filled his mouth. “Possibly a lot.”

The door opened and the butler moved into the room, while Merewood and Ravensdale strode in behind him. “His grace, the Duke of Ravensdale and the Earl of Merewood.”

“Thank you, Hasgood.”

Merewood held a book in his hand, and Robert recognized it as his book of sketches. Lily had given them to her brother, after all.

It wasn’t disappointment he felt. He hadn’t expected her to preserve his secret. He hadn’t…hell, he didn’t know what it meant that she hadn’t. Was she finished with him?

“Forgive the early call,” Merewood started. “We felt it imperative this take place as soon as possible.” Just then, he seemed to notice Robert’s state of attire. He stared. “What the hell happened to you?”

“A tea party.” Brothers, his and Lily’s, sure brought out the best in him. Even he knew he was being an ass.

Adam scoffed in disgust. “Nothing means a damn thing to you, doesn’t it?”

“Your sister does.”

“That is why you’ve put her in danger? That is why you did this?” Adam held up the sketch book. “For her well-being?”

“My brother came here today to—” Marcus started.

“To beg you to fix his stupidity, I imagine,” Merewood said. He dropped the sketchbook on the desk. “I don’t give a damn what happens to him. My reason for coming is to make sure he cannot put my sister in danger again.” Merewood turned to Robert. “I’ll see you hanged before I see her hurt again.”

“Now see here a minute—”

Merewood snapped to Marcus. “Men came into my sister’s library and took her as she left. They could have
killed
her.” He pointed at Robert. “He dragged her down to his level, and I will not allow that to happen again.”

“I am here to protect her. That is all I want,” Robert said.

“Robert, enough. Let me handle this.”

Robert bristled but quieted as Marcus picked up the sketchbook.

“There is no denying what my brother has done.” Marcus flipped through the pages, then stopped on a page.

What had caught his eye? Robert’s curiosity had been piqued, and—blast it, this was not the time to look for compliments.

“I see one way out of this, and we should all get what we want from it,” Marcus continued. He flipped a few more pages and stopped again. His head tilted to the side.

Robert’s breath held. It was the worst possible time and he knew so much more was at stake, but the potential for his brother’s awareness, his approval, and yes, his
respect
dangled out there like a cup of water to a man dying of thirst.

Robert craved that with a guttural need that nearly brought him to his knees. He’d felt as though he was dying of thirst for so long.

“I want my family to be free of him.” Merewood pointed at Robert. “Lily is leaving all of this behind in a few days. You won’t interfere and you will sign the divorce papers as soon as I can have them delivered.”

“I won’t agree to that,” Robert said flatly.

“You can and you will,” Marcus snapped the book shut and set it down. Without a word. “You are not bargaining here, remember? You made this mess, and you will do whatever it takes to clean it up.” He looked at Merewood and Ravensdale. “If he does that, I will need you both to meet with Harman and encourage his agreement toward this deal.”

“Jeremiah Harman will not set a forger free,” Ravensdale said. He moved into the room and leaned against a wall lined with books. “Not and keep his post as Governor.”

“We will sway him. Robert will provide information on better securing our notes. He will serve as—”

“That isn’t enough.” The three men turned to glare at Robert. “I did not come here to save my own hide. I came here to stop Kane. This plan isn’t enough,” he repeated.

“What do you suggest then?” Ravensdale asked.

“The Bank of England would love to see a forgery circle taken out of the game, I imagine. Tell Harman I will provide the information to bring them down. I can lead them to where they meet, where they work. I can deliver the plates and the men who print from them.”

“No.” Marcus put his hands flat on the desk. “Kane tried to kill you already. It’s too dangerous.”

“He’ll kill me anyway. He won’t stop unless he’s taken down. This is the only way. Call upon whomever you must, but make the deal and make it fast.”

“You’ll agree to my terms?” Adam asked.

“I don’t need you to make this deal,” Robert snapped. He stood on the opposite side of the small room from Adam, as though they were boxers waiting to be called into the ring. And Robert was more than willing to go a few rounds.

“Yes, you do,” Marcus told him. “If I am the only one negotiating, Harman might not be convinced. But with the three of us combined, he’ll have no choice, for fear of offending us. It must be all of us. It is the only way.”

“She is my
wife
.” Robert stepped into the ring.

“It’s taken you three years to recall that.” Adam stepped closer to him, fists at the ready at his sides. “She is packed and anxious to leave you behind.”

“Then why are you so concerned that I not interfere with her departure?”

“Because I don’t want her hurt anymore. You have done enough.”

Robert didn’t want to cause her any more pain.

He wanted Lily on that ship, it was the best place to keep her safe. But he intended to go after her. He ran fingers through his hair, racking his brain for another option, another alternative that didn’t require Merewood’s buy-in.

What if her brother was right? What if she was ready to leave him behind? He hated that idea, but the thought of her death being the next one to land at his feet destroyed him.

“Robert.” Marcus snapped his fingers. “It’s now or never.”

Robert bowed his head, then nodded. “Now. It’s now.”

***

Two hours later, he returned to his home, weary and determined. They had a plan and he had a lot of work to do in order to implement it. As he walked through his door, he didn’t stop until he reached his office. From the shelves lined with books, he took out a wooden box painted and carved with the spines of books he’d never read. The box had served well to hide the tools of his trade.

He set the box on the table and opened it with the key he held in his desk. From inside, he removed a thick cloth, rolled to hold his instruments. His etching tools, the burin he used to engrave the copper. Clean copper plates, a handful of tapers for the black soot he needed. A small container of varnish. His lead pencil and tracing paper to begin.

It didn’t take long to set his station. His drawing positioned near the mirror, so he could transfer it backwards onto the copper. From there, he would trace the image and etch in the finer details.

He had made hundreds of these, replacing them as they wore out from use. The copper was soft, which had underscored his value. As well as his prison.

These would be the last copperplates he made.

If the plan went well, he would be free.

Free to fight for Lily.

Had she asked her brother to procure her divorce?

Robert hadn’t returned since the night his memory restored. She probably assumed that meant he didn’t care. That he’d walked away. That he’d returned to being the heartless bastard she had left.

He’d spent so much of their marriage hurting her, keeping her separate from his life. He’d spent so much time fighting what he felt for her, running as far and as fast as he could from the dream they’d shared for such a short time and lost. He’d never stopped running from the pain, never stopped putting as much distance between them as possible.

Including the organization.

Getting deeper in with them put an impenetrable wall between them. She had told him she was leaving for America, and he’d run as far in the opposite direction, deeper into the muck, as he could.

That way, he wouldn’t have been able to go after her.

He’d always felt Lily deserved better. From the beginning, her goodness, her softness shone through as though she had her own personal sun providing light. She had been so good, and he’d been everything but.

Cordelia—she had been tough, unattainable. A challenge. One he knew he’d never achieve and didn’t really want.

When their letters arrived that night…

Lily had to know the truth. Robert’s hand relaxed on the table, and he closed his eyes.

He knew what he’d promised to Adam, the deal he’d made. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore. He’d rather cut off his own arm.

But so many things could go wrong with this plan. She deserved the truth, no matter what happened. No matter what she decided.

Robert shook his head. Right now, he had to focus. He’d sent the missive to request a meeting with Kane, claiming he had new plates to sell. Claiming he would toe the line like a good little soldier.

He knew better than to show up empty handed.

Lily smoothed the embroidered bodice of her gown with shaky hands. The gown wasn’t wrinkled. In fact, the gown in rich egg blue silk embroidered with pearls and cream satin piping was the most beautiful thing she’d ever worn.

It made her feel like a fraud.

This party was for her, but she was used to blending into the wall. Now that she was being peeled off of it, she had to admit she might prefer being there.

No one expected anything of her. No one judged her every move. Blending in had offered a freedom she had taken for granted.

Now, she was scandalous and shocking, the intrepid wife leaving her husband to go on adventure to America.

Lily’s gaze shifted to the paper that lay on her bed. That was how the gossip sheet referred to her. It had taken longer than usual, but word had spread that she was leaving and the gossip rags had picked it up. She thanked heaven that their other adventures, involving Robert’s illegal activities hadn’t reared their ugly heads in the papers.

Intrepid. Adventurous. They had cast her as the heroine in a villain’s story, Robert being the villain, of course.

She was nothing of the sort. If this was her grand adventure, it felt more a comedy of errors, with a great deal of ado about nothing.

No matter what he’d done, she could not look at Robert as a villain.

She brushed at her invisible wrinkles again. A room filled with people downstairs expected her to play the part so she could fulfill their need to gossip, and she’d far prefer to skip the parade and go right to the ship. She would stay in her cabin, curled up with her books, a warm blanket and the memory of a husband.

Her stomach plunged.

That feeling again. That unsettling sense that she’d forgotten something, did something wrong. It had reared its head just often enough to annoy.

This was her choice. This was what
she
wanted.

“Lily, no more hiding in your room. It is time to come downstairs.”

Lily turned to see her sisters, all three of them, crowding into her room. They were as colorful as a basket filled with flowers. Aria in dark blue, Blythe in peach and Cordelia in a deep wine red. They stood with arms akimbo and Lily knew they would have no qualms about tossing her over the railing to be sure she made her way downstairs.

“People are asking where the guest of honor is,” Blythe said with a smile. “They might think we sent you off to America already.”

“I would be fine with that.” Lily gave a half laugh, though she was half-serious.

“The longer you delay,” Aria said, “the more I am forced into conversations about embroidery.”

Blythe laughed. “You are not. There isn’t a woman down there who would discuss such things with you, for fear you would yawn, cut them direct and walk away from the conversation.”

Aria looked delighted. “Nonetheless, the time has come.”

Lily glanced at the paper again.

Cordelia followed her gaze. She frowned, strode over to it and crumpled it in her hands. “Forget this rubbish. They write about our lives because they have nothing better to do. Heaven forbid they write about something useful. Something
newsworthy
.”

“You mean like what Robert has done?”

“Yes. I mean no. Who cares? It’s not as if it’s common knowledge, no one knows about it, and you’ll be gone in two days anyhow. Let’s go downstairs.”

That clenching in Lily’s stomach returned. Her chest felt tight. Where had all the air in the room gone? She sucked in a shallow breath.

“You two go down,” Aria ordered. “I wish a word with Lily.”

Once Cordelia and Blythe had left, Aria said, “Deep breaths, and you’ll be fine.”

“I am not that woman.” She pointed to the paper. The air was so warm.

“A feeling I am well acquainted with,” Aria said with a smile. “I had no idea how to behave when I started attending events.”

“I thought you simply didn’t care.”

“That is somewhat my point. If you allow them to, they’ll dictate everything about who you are. When I came into society, people made assumptions that I was title hunting. I allowed that rumor to go unchallenged since it helped me search for information about my father. But I never claimed it as truth, and it’s a subtle but important distinction. Rumors define you if you let them. When you confirm it or argue its untruth, you let their words become a part of who you are. Let them imagine what they will. That is more about them than it is about you.”

They had moved toward the door, and Aria put a hand on Lily’s arm. “You don’t have to pretend. Whatever they expect of you tonight, be yourself.”

“Wonderful. Then I will stay up here and read a book.”

Aria laughed. “They want to be a part of your story, and they’ll make it up with or without you. Should someone corner you, I promise to come to your aide. That is sure to put them off. They tolerate me because they don’t wish to offend our family.”

“No, Blythe was right. They’re terrified of offending
you
. They know you don’t care.”

Aria’s lips curved. “Precisely.”

Lily answered with her own half-terrified smile. “If only I could pretend to be you.”

“Be yourself. It’s far more fun.” She laced her arm with Lily’s and they continued down the stairs.

As the noise of the crowd grew louder, lead weighted Lily’s feet until they dragged to a stop.

“You can do this.”

“I’m the one who reads the stories,” Lily told her. “I’m not the one in them.”

Aria gave her a gentle shove. “Then it’s time you write your own. There is no time like the present.”

Write her own story.

They descended into the crowd, and the buzz around them grew stronger.

Write her own story. What would that look like? If she could choose what her life would be, where her journey would take her, where would she end up?

What did she want?

Lily hadn’t asked herself that question in years. The last time she’d considered what she wanted, it had been Robert. Then their baby.

Then she’d stopped asking.

Perhaps she should have been more specific in her wishes.
Happy
with Robert. That would have been a good distinction to make, to start.

“Lady Lily?”

Lily turned at the soft, nervous voice and frowned when she saw the footman. “Yes, Charlie? What is it?”

“Please forgive me, my lady, but Mr. Melrose wishes to see you. He…he implored me to come straight to you and no one else.”

Lily’s heart flew up like a frantic bird from the knotted pit of fear that her stomach had become.

She looked about the room for her brother and spied him deep in conversation with a few of his peers from the House of Lords.

“Thank you. Where is he?”

“At the mews, I believe. He came round to the servants’ entrance.”

Lily was catapulted to the last time Robert had snuck into her house. That night was stamped in her memory like a chapter from her favorite book—or had been, until Cordelia had offered an alternate perspective.

Who
had
he come for? After all this time, Lily couldn’t believe the memory she’d cherished might not have been real.

Tonight, though, he’d asked for her.

After everything they’d faced, that should be the least of her thoughts. Yet, it was the foremost one.

Her heart pounding in her ears, Lily followed Charlie down the corridor and through to the kitchens, where the door let out to the back of the townhouse. As she opened the door, the cold blew in and she wrapped her arms around herself.

“Robert?” she called as she stepped down the few steps onto the cold ground. The ice in the air brushed her skin as though to paint it wet.

Robert emerged from the shadows, and the sight of him filled her with that same low pull in her belly, that desire to stand closer, to feel his warmth. With it came the familiar dousing of pain and uncertainty, an ice-cold bucket of emotion to remind her where they stood.

“You came. I wasn’t sure you would.” He frowned as she approached. “Where is your cloak? You’ll freeze.” He stripped off his coat and stepped closer until the heat from his body surrounded her. He lifted his arm over her shoulders, close enough she could have placed her head upon his chest. Let him surround her. Let him comfort her. He placed his coat around her, and his hands lingered as he fussed with the lapel. “There.”

His gentleness disarmed her. “I can’t stay.”

Robert looked past her for a moment. “You have company.”

Lily stuck her chin out. “It’s a goodbye party.”

“I see.”

“For me.”

“I see.”

Frustration laced her next words. “I am leaving for America tomorrow.”

He sucked in a breath. “I know.”

“After no contact at all, you lured me out to the mews to offer two-word replies? Robert, what did you come here for?”

“It was either this or not see you at all.”

“You chose to leave this house without a word.”

“Your brother extracted a promise, one I find impossible to keep without seeing you first. There are things I need to—”

“I gave Adam your sketches.” She had to tell him. Hiding it felt like a lie, and she was tired of lies.

“I know.” He reached a hand up to her face, and she fought the urge to lean into his warmth. “I am not angry.”

His softness, his pliability confused her. This was the man who had left her without a word or explanation as to his state of mind. She took a few steps away, feeling the layers of padding winding around her heart again. It put a blessed distance between them, one that had served to protect her many times when it came to Robert. “What is it you wished to tell me?”

“I am handling my…my situation.”

“What does that mean?”

He pursed his lips. “It’s better you don’t know.”

“More secrets?” She slung his jacket off her shoulders. “I was in the dark for the better part of our marriage. Your cryptic answers aren’t enough anymore.”

“I already put you in a dangerous situation. I cannot, no, I will not let that happen again. I don’t want you to be any part of this.”

“Then why did you come here?”

He closed the space she’d put between them. “Because I can’t let you leave believing I didn’t love you. No matter what happens to me, I need you to know that.”

His words echoed in her head, left her with a dizzy feeling as though she’d whirled around in one too many circles. He loved her.

He loved her?

He’d never said that, not once over the years.

Then the rest of what he said came into focus. “What do you mean, what happens to you? What is going to happen to you?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Robert!” Frustration heightened her tone.

“No. I worked very hard to keep you separate from my life.”

“Well, thank you for coming to tell me that. It has certainly improved my day.” She handed his coat back to him.

“That didn’t come out as I intended. God, why can’t I say simple things to you?”

“I’d settle for the truth. You haven’t managed that in years, and it would appear now is no different.” She looked at this man she loved and who claimed to love her, and yet kept his entire life a secret from her. He’d kept everything separate.

“You were never supposed to be involved in what I was doing.
I
chose to enter the organization. That meant making certain nothing I did could touch you.”

Including you
. She didn’t say the words, couldn’t say them.

“So you chose another life.” The missed opportunities lay like bricks between them, a chasm she couldn’t seem to cross. “You’re doing that again.”

“I am not—” He stopped. “No, I am not choosing another life over you. I am choosing you, Lily, above everything. Your safety.”

“My
safety
?”

“Yes, and your happiness. That just…it can’t be with me. Not now.”

“You told me that the day I told you I was leaving. The same exact words. Everything we’ve been through—nothing has changed for you, has it? It meant nothing.”

“
Everything
has changed.”

“Was any of it real? Did you feel anything for me?”

“My God, Lily, I love you.” He grabbed her hands. “I am not supposed to tell you this. I shouldn’t even be here. But
yes
. What you gave me, what we shared was more real than you can possibly know. You were the light in a very dark place. You were everything.”

He spoke in past tense. He spoke of what she had been to him, when he’d had nothing. But now that his memory had returned, she was dismissed.

She balled her fists. “How can you be this cruel? To dangle your love and then take it away? You won’t share your secrets with me but I can know they might put you in danger? What am I supposed to do, Robert? Tell me. What am I supposed to do?”