Willow Grove Abbey (8 page)

I was growing very irritated. I loved Spence and
Mummy was making it sound like he was a sheep herder. “
Mummy, Spence is not a destitute person! He might not have the means that you and Papa enjoy, but we wouldn’t starve, nor would our children. He is as well educated as any of us... better educated than most.”

“
He may have education, but it’s perfectly obvious that he hasn’t any money. Are you thinking that you would be able to rely upon your family for financial assistance? I suppose he assumes that you would receive a large dowry?”

“That has
absolutely never been discussed. I don’t think Spence would accept any help from my family. I don’t think that Spence needs or desires any help, as he’s perfectly content and happy with his chosen profession, and with the style of life it provides.”

“
Sophia. You are showing your usual naiveté. Don’t for a moment believe that your Doctor Stanton isn’t quite impressed by your background. Surely you can’t be so foolish as to think that he doesn’t hold great interest in your dowry? Obviously, he would be dependent upon only his salary, if he does not find a wife who can provide a dowry to enable him to become a gentleman of means
.” It was unbelievable that Papa couldn’t hear himself. He was describing what he had done when he married Mummy.
“How often have your mother and I warned you that this could happen? Let’s assume, however, that you are correct, and he really
does
love you for yourself. Would you be perfectly content and happy with his lifestyle? Somehow I do not think so.” Even Papa’s voice was becoming more forceful.

“
I have spent a lot of time thinking about how my life would differ, in terms of social status and so forth. It just does not matter to me. I know I would make a very good physician’s wife.”

“Have you
made up your mind to accept this proposal with or without our blessing, Sophia?”

“
Mummy, I hadn’t thought about that possibility. I had hoped I would have your blessing.”

“I
suppose you would want to have a large wedding in the chapel at
Willow Grove Abbey
, and he hasn’t any noteworthy family. How on Earth would it look in the
Times?
”

“I think we
would both love to have a glorious, traditional wedding.” I took another deep breath. ”But it couldn’t be at ‘St. Edward and St. Mary.”

“Couldn’t be
here? Why ever not? All Somervilles have been married in our chapel for eons. If he has no ancestral home, what difference can it possibly make to him?” Clearly, he is a ‘nobody from nowhere’”. Mummy was becoming quite angry, snide and rude.

“H
e’s a Roman Catholic, Mummy.”

There was co
mplete silence. I could hear the ticking of the Piaget clock, and sounds of the servants preparing afternoon tea. A dog howled in the distance. Papa poured two more drinks for himself and Mummy. Ice tinkled in the crystal glasses. I hadn’t touched mine. Papa cleared his throat several times. Mummy looked as though she was in shock. She spoke first.

“Th
is is out of the question, Sophia. Totally, absolutely, out of the question. We did not raise you to become a Papist, nor to raise Papist children. My God in Heaven! This man is not, nor could he ever be our caliber. We must forbid you to ever see him again.”

I
began to weep, but of course, it did nothing to soften my mother’s attitude. My father looked much the same. Mummy sat cold and silent. Papa didn’t move. “Sophia, we know that this hurts at the moment, and that it seems as though it’s the end of the world. However, you will survive I assure you. When you have met and married a suitable man, someday you will look back upon this and understand that we were correct. You must trust that your parents know better in this kind of situation.” Papa was trying very hard to say the proper words, but they sounded like he was reading from a book. I was discussing
feelings
, and that was something that neither of my parents understood.

I
continued to sob. “But I love him. I love him with all of my heart and soul. I shall never love anyone this much again. If you don’t give me your blessing, I shall die. At least, please meet him. He will be at your award dinner at Grande’s. Just meet him and give him a chance. Please.”

“You
have invited him to be a part of a family affair, knowing that he will not fit in.... that we would never find him acceptable. I am utterly disgusted with your behavior. Because of what you have done, you have now ruined that
entire evening for your father. I refuse to attend a social event with a Catholic opportunist.”

“
Spence is not an opportunist, Mummy. In addition, I have ruined nothing. It’s you who are choosing to ruin the evening with your narrow mindedness.”
I shocked myself with those words.
Nevertheless, I was so angry and frustrated, that my true feelings fairly spilled out. Mummy became completely irrational. I had never spoken to her with such a lack of respect.

“
You
will
begin to act like a grown woman, and this unfortunate episode will be put behind us. We expect you to start behaving like a blue-blooded aristocrat, and not a common trollop. I shall not brook hysterics over this matter, and do not want this man’s name mentioned again in our home. He has caused grave upset and concern. He is obviously a trashy fortune hunter, and you are too stupid to see him for what he is. You are never to see him again. Is that clearly understood?”

“No, no
! How can you say you love me and act this way toward me?”

“
It is because we love you, Sophia,” answered Papa.

M
ummy’s icy blue eyes were livid. “Now, you listen to me,” she shrieked. “It’s time for you to begin thinking about what
you owe to us.
We have given you the best of everything. We have offered you every advantage, and more freedom than any generation of young woman before you. If you think you are going to repay us by marrying a Catholic, and embarrassing us, then you are very mistaken. Obviously, this is the first man who has ever paid you a whit of attention. I might have expected this from you. His church takes its orders from the Pope in Rome and the Pope in Rome dictates that if you do not prove that you have pleased him enough to ensure that you live in a state of Grace, when you die, you will go to a ghastly place known as Purgatory, which is a sort of holding cell for those who do not have the credentials to make it into heaven. Wealthy Catholics will have to light candles to free you from Purgatory. Some people never are freed at all. I doubt that Doctor Stanton would know enough wealthy Catholics, so you would spend eternity in Purgatory. We certainly do not know any wealthy Catholics, so our connections could not even help you.” By that time, she was pacing up and down the room, as her emotions escalated. In spite of her terrible upset, I couldn’t help but be amazed at her seemingly endless knowledge about the Catholic faith. I wondered if anything she said was true. “How on earth can this person be Catholic?” she suddenly asked. “What is his background?” I decided that I might just as well tell them everything. If there was going to be a
rage,
Mummy might as well have all of the facts.”

“
His mother is from County Cork, Ireland.”

“Oh
my God in Heaven,” Mummy screamed. “An Irishman! My daughter married to an Irishman. “Sophia, the only nationality I despise more is German.”

“But, why,
Mummy? What is wrong with Irish people? I have always found them to be warm and sensitive. They are wonderful artists, poets and musicians. Ireland is, after all, a part of the Commonwealth.”

“Irish
men are drunkards, adulterers, liars, braggarts, and scoundrels. Do you want to spend your life in a Dublin pub?”

“
Spence is none of those things. Frankly, I doubt that he’s ever been in a Dublin pub.”

M
ummy picked up a
Lalique
crystal ashtray and threw it across the room. It splintered into hundreds of tiny pieces, as it hit the marble on the fireplace. She was in a total rage. She ran about the drawing room, picking up items and hurling them; Ashtrays, Sevres figurines, the Piaget clock. She was screaming and ranting in a ghastly harangue. In the past, I had never fought back, nor even tried to defend myself. However, I had a very deep love for Spence and it motivated me. “Mummy,” I began, “I’m a grown woman, and this is simply not fair. I have done nothing wrong. I have the right to see whomever I wish. I understand that you also have the right to form an opinion about any man whom I might care for, but you do not have the right to form such an opinion when you have never even met him. In my opinion, you are being bigoted and small-minded. Just be honest enough to look at the way you are behaving. Sometimes I really think you’re not normal.”

All
color drained from Papa’s face, and Mummy stood stock-still. No one in the family had ever spoken the truth aloud. It was simply not the done thing. Suddenly, Mummy screamed, an almost inhuman cry. “All right! That is it! You have always hated me. I have always thought that, and now I’m certain.”

I
stood, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t run. I looked my mother straight in the eye and spoke in an amazingly calm voice. “Mummy, that’s simply not true. Everything I have done all of my life has been proof to the contrary, and you know that is the truth. I sometimes believe you feel hatred toward all of your children, and I don’t, for the life of me, know why.”

M
ummy stood perfectly still. Her eyes bored straight into mine, for what seemed an eternity. Then, she slapped me across the face. My head literally snapped around from the force of the blow. I could not help but cry out, as it hurt dreadfully. Yet, I still refused to retreat and run, as I had done so many times in childhood. With tears streaming down, I said, “You can be so cruel. Why don’t you want me to be happy?”

M
ummy lost her mind. Picking up a basket of fresh fruit from an ornamental table, she bashed it over my head. Then she threw herself on the floor, curled like a small child in the midst of a tantrum, and screamed hysterically. I stood in horror. Meanwhile, Papa finally found his voice and managed to stammer his usual line, “Pamela, please...” Of course, it did absolutely no good. It never did. In fact, it had the opposite effect. It seemed to re-energize her. Leaping up, she grabbed the silver teapot and hurled it across the room at Papa. Thank God, her aim was off, and it missed hitting him by a fraction of an inch. Nevertheless, scalding hot tea flew all over the room. Some of it splattered upon my arm. It hurt dreadfully, but I just stood, rigid and immobile. I still have a small scar on my right wrist, where that damnable tea burned me. In addition, the Sterling teapot was severely damaged.

Finally, she
was worn-out. She stood, shakily, and held tightly to the back of a chair. In a controlled voice she said, “We shall never speak of this person again, Sophia. This Irish scoundrel. Catholic trash. You are not the grown woman you think you are. You are only eighteen years of age, and without your parents, you do not have a farthing. I shall ring the Countess of Winnsborough and arrange for you and Lord Winnsborough to make wedding plans immediately. You
will
find him attractive and very suitable, and when he proposes marriage, you
will
accept. If these plans do not meet with your approval, you are free to leave the Somerville family immediately and permanently. Doctor Spencer Stanton will rue the day he ever met you and turned you against your family. Your father has powerful friends, Sophia. It would be tragic if Doctor Stanton lost his medical license, and was unable to practice his
trade.
I imagine there are scores of women walking the streets of London, who for a few Pounds’ Sterling, would swear an oath that Doctor Stanton helped them end a pregnancy. Such an illegal act would not only result in the loss of medical privileges, it would result in a prison term.” With that, she turned and ascended the staircase to her bedroom, slamming the door and locking it.

I
knew that I had been defeated. My mother was not just mouthing words. Indeed, she would be very happy to find some way to ruin Spence’s reputation as a physician. She had enough money and was malicious enough. She didn’t see herself as heartless and cruel. In her mind, she was saving me from making a terrible mistake. I was angrier than I ever recall being. I couldn’t remember ever having felt such rage. Perhaps a lifetime of suppressed emotion over so many similar tirades burst forth. Still weeping, I began to shout. “Papa, you wouldn’t do such a thing, would you? Spence is a good person. Please, please don’t make him pay a price for loving me.”

Papa
stood silently, not meeting my eyes. He looked helpless. It was clear that Mummy had his full support, and that I would do my mother’s bidding or risk seeing Spence ruined. Mummy had accomplished her goal. I whirled toward my father, and through clenched teeth spoke words I had never believed possible. “You have never stood up for me in your life. Everyone thinks you are such a wonderful person. Well, you are not. You allow Mummy to belittle me, and you do it yourself. Especially if you think it will win her approval. You aren’t half the man that Spence is. I even understand why you take her side. You are just like your children. You want her approval so terribly much, you will do anything or say anything to agree with her.
It is sick
,
Papa.
I’m ashamed that you are my father. You have hurt me dreadfully, all of my life. There is something terribly, terribly wrong in this entire family. All either you or Mummy cares about are appearances. If people really knew the truth about this family, we wouldn’t be welcomed into any house in the land. I do not
want
to be a part of this family anymore. As far as I’m concerned, I hope I never set foot in this house again. Now, please just leave me alone,” I cried. “I’m going to do exactly as Mummy ordered. I’m leaving the Somerville family. You and Mummy seem Hell bent on destroying me, and certainly Spence.”