"Who's Chad?" a
sks Lucas, with an edge to his voice I don't understand.
"He's Lindy's boyfriend. You probably know him. He was the starting running back for the Tigers. He could have gone pro, but he was more interested in teaching than playing," Tara explains, lying about the first part but not the rest.
"You're dating Chad Walters. You're
that
Melinda?" asks Lucas, with shock in his voice.
"He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend, and what do you mean ‘that Melinda’?" I ask. Visions of Lucas calling me a fat ass float through my head, but this time, it's Chad talking crap about me.
"Nothing really. I just... We knew each other. Through football, you know? He told me that he was going to marry his Melinda someday," Lucas says, finishing the last part in a whispered voice.
I can't help but smile. Chad says that all the time. In fact, it was last thing he said before leaving Auburn. He told me one day I would figure everything out, then we'd get married and have enough babies to make our own football team.
"Did Chad ask you to marry him?" Mom shouts, jumping up from her seat.
"Almost every day." Tara says with a laugh. "I was so tired of hearing him ask her that I told him that I'd marry him myself, if he'd just shut up."
"Lindy, why in the world didn't you tell me?" Mom says, with her hands on her hips. She is in full on momma-mode now, and she's not going to back down until I give her something.
"He was just kidding mom." I try to calm her down. She looks placated for a second, until she hears Tara snort.
"Kidding my ass." Tara's eyes go big and she looks at Abbie. "I meant my behind."
I start to laugh at Tara’s reaction to cussing in front of her mom, but it’s cut short by the sound
of Chad’s ringtone
coming from my phone. I pull it out of my pocket and stand up. "I've got to take this," I say, as I walk towards the back door. As I say hello, I hear Tara talking.
"That's Chad, and he's not kidding."
CHAPTER TWO
"Have you ever seen ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’?" Lindy asks.
"Nuh, huh," Lucas answers.
Lindy smiles at him. "My Daddy bought me the video. You want to watch?"
LUCAS
I watch Lindy walk away and feel like I can't fucking breathe. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I feel like I'm about to faint. I didn't even pass out when I blew my knee, but the thought of Lindy marrying someone else has me on the verge of going down.
As soon as Lindy walks inside, I leave. I don't even take the time to say goodbye to anyone. I just stand up and walk away, without saying a word. I even leave Kelsey sitting at the table. If it wasn't for her chasing after me, I'd have left her ass behind. I just have to get out of here now!
I drive straight to Kelsey's and drop her off. She is pissed as hell. She wants me to stay over, but that shit isn't happening. It hasn’t ever happened before, and it’s not about to start now that Lindy’s back. She starts begging. I have had enough; it is time to end this shit. "I am done with your ass. This is over. Do not fucking call me. Do not stop by the shop. Just stay the fuck away from me!"
The bitch blows a damn gasket. At first she starts to scream and hit me. I just stood the
re and let her have at it. Then she starts to beg and plead. I don't give a fuck what kind of pity party she throws at me, I'm not backing down this time. I end up leaving her on her doorstep crying. I should feel bad, but instead I am just glad that it is over.
I start to go home, but change
my mind. I know there is no way I can be that close to Lindy and stay away. Instead, I head to Black Jacks and grab a twelve pack. Then I go to the shop and bunk down on the couch in the office. I lay there drinking and thinking about Lindy. Thinking about all the good times we had together and about how I fucked it all up. By the time I have a few beers down, my eyes start to get heavy. I fall asleep with Lindy on my mind.
I wake up after spending the night dreaming about Lindy and Chad together. I cannot get the image of him touching her out of my mind. I lay on the old ratty couch and replay all the conversations Chad and I had about our Melindas. Who would have ever thought they were the same person.
I met Chad the summer before my sophomore year. We were both at the same football camp, and we ended up roommates. That's the first time he told me about his Melinda. He said he'd just met the girl he was going to marry. At first I laughed at him. But then he mentioned her name, and I didn't think it was funny anymore. Instead, I thought about my Lindy.
Chad and I got pretty tight during camp, but we didn't see each other a lot after it was over. We texted back and forth, got together after a game or two to hang out and shoot the shit. He even
came to see me at the hospital after I was injured.
Every time, he talked about his Melinda and I talked about my Lindy. I told him everything that happened between us. He told me I should go after her and apologize, but I just didn’t have the balls to do it. I'm not sure how we didn't realize she was same girl, but it never even crossed my mind. I'm pretty sure it didn't cross his either, or he probably would have tried to kick my ass. I know I would have his.
I sit up and look towards the window. The sun is just breaking through the night sky. I know what I need to do, so I jump on my bike and head home. As soon as I hit the driveway, I cut the motor and sneak over to Lindy's window. I don't even bother knocking. I just push it up and climb in.
I make my way to her bed. It's empty, but it’s been slept in. I look over to the clock. Shit! It's already six-thirty. Lindy always was an early riser. I start to walk back to the window, but I'm stopped by the sound of Maggie's voice.
"Are you going to tell me about Chad's proposals now?"
"I told you
, Mom. He was just kidding," Lindy replies. But I know she's lying. Anyone who ever talked to Chad would know he meant business when it came to her.
"That's not what Tara said."
"Okay, Mom. You're right. He meant it, but I wasn't ready. Is that all right with you?" Lindy answers with more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
There's a pause then Maggie says, "Is it because of Lucas?"
I hold my breath, as I wait to hear Lindy's answer. "Yeah, it is. But it's not something I want to talk about right now."
"It's been four years. I think it's time you talked about it." Maggie pauses for a moment, "I know you’re a grown woman now, and I don't get to know everything anymore. But I need to know what happened. You're my daughter, and I know you've been hurting. I also know that there is a reason why you’ve hardly been home at all in nearly four years. Lindy baby, I really need to know why," she finishes on a whisper.
"He hurt me, Mom. He hurt me worse than all those stupid high school bullies put together. I loved him, and he broke my heart."
"What did he do?" Maggie asks, and my stomach starts to churn. If Lindy hates me for what I did, Maggie will fucking loath me.
"I can't tell you." Lindy is whispering now.
"Did he, did he touch you?" Maggie asks.
"No." Lindy's quiet for a few moments. When she continues, what she says rips my heart into pieces. "He said something that showed me all those years of friendship were just a lie. It also proved all those kids were right. I am nothing. Just the ugly piglet." Her voice breaks, and I can hear her crying.
Maggie is trying to soothe her, but Lindy is sobbing so loudly that I can’t hear anything Maggie's saying. My stomach starts to churn, and I know I’m going to be sick. I run to the window and climb out. I only take two steps before last night's food and beer comes back up.
LINDY
After mom and I finished our talk, I went back to my old room. I can still hear her sniffling as I shut my door. I love my mom, but I wish she would back off a bit. I have been on my own so long that it is really hard to have to answer to her all the time. God! I will be so glad when Tara and I get moved into our own place.
I start to make the bed, but it’s just too damn hot to work. Mom refuses to turn on the air-conditioning until summer officially starts. We live in Alabama for goodness sakes. Summer starts in March here, not the end the June. I walk over to open my window and notice that it’s already cracked. I know I closed it when it started to rain last night. Maybe I didn’t close it all the way? I reach down to pull it open, but stop when I notice Lucas only a few feet away. He is leaned over, getting sick. I jerk the window open and call out to him. "Lucas, are you okay?"
He slowly stands up and turns to me. He wipes his hand over his mouth. "It wasn’t a lie. You were my best friend. You still are."
Oh my God! He was listening to Mom and I talk. I turn away and run to my door, but he is climbing through the window before I can pull it open. "You aren’t nothing, Lindy. You never were. I was the one who was nothing."
"Yeah, right. If I remember correctly, you were worried that your dick would fall off if it got to close to my fat ass," I spit back at him.
He jerks his head to the side, as if my words felt like a smack in the face. "Lindy, I was a kid. I was stupid," he finishes, with a shake of his head. "Can’t we please just talk?"
I take a moment to think about my options. I can walk out of the room, but I will have to talk to him sooner or later. Warrington’s a small town, so we will run into each other eventually. "Fine, if you want to talk, we’ll talk."
He gives me a small smile. "Do you mind if I clean up a little first? Right now, I smell like puke and last night’s beer."
I nod my head towards the door. "Go ahead, but stay clear of the kitchen. Mom might not be real happy to see you at the moment."
I watch Lucas walk out of the room, then sit on my bed. I try to plan out what I am going to say, but my mind keeps going back to that night—to everything he said to me and what he said to Kelsey and Daniel. Shit. How am I supposed to talk to him about this?
LUCAS
I spit out the mouth wash and look into the mirror. I look exactly how I feel, like shit. I dry my hands and open the bathroom door. Fuck! Maggie is standing right there. She places her finger in front of her mouth and motions for me to follow her. As soon as we walk into her room, she shuts the door and turns on her TV. "I don’t want Lindy to hear us," she says as she walks towards me. She looks like she wants to rip me a new asshole. There is nothing worse than a mad mother. I know I am fixing to catch hell. I can feel the sweat beading up on my forehead and my stomach starts to roll.
"I don’t know what happened between you and my daughter, but you better fix it. If you hurt her again, I promise you will pay. I may be just a woman, but I will kick your ass."
I nod my head to let her know I understand.
"With that being said, I have to tell you something. Lindy loves you, and you love her. Always have, always will. You just had your head too far up your own ass to realize it, so you better do something to make her trust you again or you’re going to lose her. I like Chad, but I don’t think he is the one
for my daughter. That’s you. So get busy."
I don’t even have time to respond before she opens the door and pushes me out of her room. I think about all she said as I walk towards Lindy’s bedroom, but I have no idea how to make Lindy trust me again. I’m also not sure that she still loves me, but I am positive that I still love her.
When I open the door, I see Lindy sitting on her bed. It reminds me of all the times I used to crawl through her window at night. We would lie on her bed and talk for hours. I told her everything about my dreams and she told me all about hers. So many times I wanted to reach over and kiss her, but each time I chickened out. I was afraid of what my friends would say. God, I was such a fucking dick!
She scoots over a little and motions for me to join her. I sit down beside her and lean my head against the head board. She is so close to me that I can smell her shampoo. I want to pull her even closer, but I fist my hands to keep them from reaching for her. "I am so sorry, Lindy. More sorry than you could ever know, and I am not even going to try to defend myself. I was an ass. If I could take it back, I would."
She is quiet for a moment. "You wish you had never touched me?" she whispers.
Oh hell no! I reach out and pull her onto my lap. "Are you crazy? I wish I had touched you a million more times. I wish that every time I lay on this bed thinking of kissing you that I had. But I don’t regret being with you. I regret how it happened, even where it happened, but not that I finally did what I’d dreamed about doing for all those years."
She looks up at me and I can see tears in her eyes. "Why did you run out on me like that? You just left me all alone on the bathroom floor like I was a piece of trash."
I hate this. I don’t want to lie, but I know if I tell the truth she is going to hate me even more than she does now. I take a deep breath and decide to be honest. "Lindy, I was just a kid. All I could think about was what my friends would say. Shit. I was so fucking worried about what everyone would think of me that I never even considered how you felt."
She starts to pull away, but I’m not letting her go. "I had this whole image of myself built in my head. I was going to be a star. I was going to play in the NFL. I was going to make tons of money and live the big life. For some reason, I didn’t think you’d fit into that image. But I was wrong. After you left that night, I realized how bad I fucked up. I knew I didn’t want any of that shit unless you were part of it."
She is still crying and it’s breaking my damn heart. "Fuck, Lindy! I am so damn sorry. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have asked you to be my girlfriend years before that night. I would have walked down the halls at school with my head held high, knowing I had the most amazing girl in the whole world by my side."
I pull her into my chest and wait for her to respond. It doesn’t take long. "What was so bad about me that everyone had to hate me so much? What did I do that made you so embarrassed to be around me?"
Shit. She’s killing me. "You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t you understand yet? We were all so fucking self-conscious, we had to find someone else to heap shit on. That way we would feel better about ourselves. Damn Lindy Lou, don’t you know you were better than the whole lot of us?"
She starts to giggle, and I pull her back and look at her. I see she has a small smile on her face, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. "What’s so funny?"
"You are the only one who has ever called me Lindy Lou. I just think it’s cute."
"Do you remember when I started calling you that?" I ask.
She nods and smiles. "It was right after we watched
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
."
She looks so damn pretty with a smile on her face that I can’t stop myself. I bring my lips to hers and kiss her softly. She starts to kiss me back, but then she freezes. She pulls her head away and shakes it. "No, Lucas. We can be friends, but that’s all I can handle."