Winds of Change (30 page)

And still their hands were joined, still Katie was clinging to her. Reluctantly Miranda disengaged her hand. ‘I'll go and pay the bill. I won't be a minute.'

She came back to see that Katie had a little more colour in her cheeks. ‘Shall we leave now?'

As they walked Katie stumbled and Miranda put an arm round her. ‘It's all right. They said Darren wasn't in danger, so it's all right.'

She nodded, but didn't speak.

When they were in the car, Miranda asked, ‘Can you direct me or should I program the TomTom?'

‘It's not far. I'll tell you where to go.' Having to give directions seemed to help Katie and when they stopped in front of the school, she said, ‘I'll go to the front office.'

‘I'll come with you, just in case you feel faint again.'

‘All right.'

As they walked Katie gave a laugh that turned into a hiccup.

‘Is something wrong?'

‘Ned was rushed into hospital to have his appendix out. Brody helped me then.'

Miranda stopped walking. ‘
Brody?
He's here in England?'

‘Yes. I was going to tell you. Anyway, he was a big help. And now
you
are here just when I need more help. It seems as if fate has brought us all together at the right time, doesn't it? I was feeling . . . very alone.'

‘It must be hard when your husband's overseas.'

‘Yes. Very. Even with the support groups.' She sighed and fell silent.

Miranda didn't say anything, couldn't. She was trying to take in the thought that Brody was here in Wiltshire. Brody, whom she'd never expected to see again.

Did he hate her? Would he turn away from her or would he let her explain how they'd taken her child away from her? Could she hold herself together to tell him? The years of virtual imprisonment had left their mark on her, she knew.

She shivered, trying not to show how afraid she felt. Even the thought of facing him made her want to run and run till she could run no more.

But at the moment, her daughter needed her. She must focus on that.

Nikki opened her eyes as someone started taking her blood pressure. Why would they not let her sleep in peace?

‘Sorry, love,' the nurse said gently. ‘We have to do this. I'll be finished in a minute or two, then you can go back to sleep again.'

‘Am I going to lose the baby?'

‘Not if we can help it.'

‘It doesn't seem real, all this.'

‘It's the sedative. If I were you, I'd just let myself sleep and give my body time to recover.'

But when the nurse had gone, Nikki opened her eyes and stared round. She wished she hadn't sent her mother away. She didn't want to talk but she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts, either.

How could she have said she hated the baby? She'd seen Tim's shock and wished the words unsaid, but it was too late now. She'd said them. It was all too much lately: the baby, the horrible little flat, being with Tim all the time as he fussed over her like an elderly aunt.

Nothing was fun any more, nothing, and there seemed little hope of life getting any better.

Her mother had been right. She should have had an abortion. Tears welled in her eyes and she turned away from the door so that they'd not see. The nurses meant to be kind, but they were just doing their job and didn't really care about her.

At least it was quiet here . . . peaceful . . .

They went into the reception area of the school and when Katie seemed to be having difficulty producing an explanation, Miranda intervened, which helped her get over the fact that Brody was in touch with her daughter. She'd deal with that later.

‘I'll go and get Ned,' the secretary said at once. ‘You stay there, Mrs Parrish. I won't be a minute.'

They went to sit on some well-used red plastic chairs and within two minutes there was the sound of running footsteps. A little boy hurtled through the door and ran to his mother.

‘I thought you'd prefer to explain it to him,' the secretary said, handing over a backpack.

‘Why do I have to leave school early, Mummy?' Ned asked. ‘Is Daddy back?' He shot a curious glance at Miranda, jigging from one foot to the other.

‘Um, no. I'll tell you in the car, darling.'

He looked at his mother as if puzzled by her tone, but obediently took the hand she held out. As they stopped by the car he frowned and looked up at her. ‘This isn't our car.'

‘I wasn't feeling well, so Miranda drove me here and now she's going to take us home.'

‘Can I ride in the front?'

‘You and I will both ride in the back.'

‘Aww.'

Miranda followed instructions and they turned off the main street of the little town, threading through a series of side streets that had her wondering how she'd find her way round if she didn't have a satnav system. She kept wondering about Brody, unable to believe he was here, that she might see him again. If he wanted to meet. He'd still think she'd dumped both him and their child. How he must hate her!

‘This is it,' Katie said. ‘Park behind that green car.'

As she slowed down Miranda realized in horror that she'd been driving automatically, lost in her thoughts. Thank heavens there hadn't been an accident! The house they stopped at was a semi, very like its neighbours, old-fashioned with a tiny, useless garage at one side.

Katie got out and led the way up the garden path, with Ned jumping and skipping along beside her, gesticulating wildly as he continued telling some involved tale about what had happened at playtime. She turned at the front door and seemed surprised not to see Miranda behind her. Beckoning her mother to follow them, she went inside, standing in the small square hall with one hand on her son's shoulder to wait for her visitor.

‘We'll go into the front room.' Once inside she stopped moving again, not seeming quite sure what to do.

Still in shock, Miranda thought. Join the club. But she'd had years of hiding her feelings, so only said, ‘Do you want me to make you a cup of tea? It's supposed to help when you're upset.'

Katie shook her head. ‘No, thank you. I'll just . . . explain what's happened to Ned.' She sat down and took a deep breath. ‘It's your father, darling. He's—'

‘He's not dead! He can't be dead.'

Even young children of serving soldiers have this fear, Miranda thought. How brave they all are!

Katie took her son's hand. ‘No, of course he's not dead. But he's been shot and is in hospital, so they'll be sending him back to England.'

He sat still then said in a tight, anxious voice, ‘Is it hurting Daddy?'

Seeing Katie struggling against tears, Miranda said quickly, ‘The doctors will give him something to stop the pain.'

His face cleared. ‘Like they did when I was in hospital. I had my appendix out two weeks ago.' He patted his belly and added with some relish, ‘They had to cut me open to take it out because it'd gone bad, and then they stitched my skin together. I haven't got to do anything rough yet. Will they have to cut Daddy open?'

Katie went white again but managed to say, ‘I'm sure they've sewn him up again by now. Why don't you get your biscuit and milk, Ned?' After he'd left, she leaned back and closed her eyes. ‘I didn't cope very well, did I?'

‘You didn't do too badly,' Miranda said encouragingly.

‘I thought I could cope with anything, even that. I'm a soldier's wife. I
should
be able to cope.'

‘No one's perfect and that's a good thing. It'd be terrible living with someone who was perfect in every way, or even someone who thinks they're perfect.' An image of Sebastian floated into her mind, with his scornful way of looking at others as if they were inferior to him.

Katie managed a faint smile. ‘That's one way of looking at it. Darren seems pretty perfect to me, though.'

‘You obviously love him very much.'

‘From the first moment I saw him. He's not good-looking, but he is attractive – or he would be if they didn't cut his hair so short.'

‘You don't think you're a teeny bit biased?'

That brought a genuine smile. ‘Totally biased.'

‘Well, and so you should be. Why else would you have married him? Now, what about that cup of tea . . . ? No, you stay there. I'm sure Ned will show me where everything is. You'll probably appreciate a few minutes' peace.'

‘How did you know?'

‘I'm a bit like that myself. I need to be on my own to pull myself together.' She walked out and moved towards the rear of the house without waiting for an answer. In the kitchen doorway she hesitated for a moment as her grandson –
her grandson!
– gave her a beaming smile from a face decorated by a milky moustache.

‘I didn't spill a drop.'

‘That's very good. Look, your Mummy's tired and she'd like a cup of tea. Can you show me where everything is, then we'll make it together? My name's Miranda Fox, by the way, and I know yours is Ned.'

The fact that her name was Fox made him laugh heartily, after which he seemed to accept her presence without question. He showed her where everything was, chattering all the time about a fox that had run through their garden a few days ago.

Wonder filled her as she watched his expressive face. She stopped him from sending the remains of his milk flying as he flung out one arm, and answered his questions as best she could.

Her grandson!

When the tea was brewed she poured two mugs, feeling quite sure that Katie wouldn't begrudge her a drink, and carried one through into the front room, leaving Ned to empty out his backpack, which he said he had to do before he was allowed to play out in the garden.

‘He's a gorgeous lad,' she said as she handed her daughter a mug of tea. ‘I hope that's all right. He said one sugar.'

Katie took the mug and sighed with pleasure as she took a sip. ‘Yes, that's just right. Thank you so much.'

‘It's no trouble to make a cup of tea.'

‘I meant for your help and for the few minutes' peace you've given me. I can't tell you how much I needed it.'

‘It must be difficult to be the only one looking after a child.'

‘Is that why you had me adopted?'

‘No! Never! I wanted to keep you, only they—'

Just then someone rang the front door bell.

Miranda stood up. ‘I'll answer it. You'll be able to hear whether it's someone you want to see. Unless you call out, I'll say you have a headache and are lying down.'

She opened the door and found herself facing the last person she'd expected or wanted to see today. He looked older, harder – and just as attractive as ever.

‘Brody.'

He turned away as if to stride down the path and she grabbed his arm.

‘Wait! You might not want to see me, but Katie needs our help.'

Brody stared down at her, wanting to pull away but then her words sank in. ‘What's wrong?'

‘Darren's been shot.'

‘He's dead?'

‘No. Injured. But she was so upset she wasn't fit to drive, so I drove her home. Only somehow we have to get her car back from near the café. She's still a bit shaky.'

He looked beyond her to see Katie standing in the sitting room doorway, holding Ned back. ‘You need your car fetching back?'

‘Yes. Miranda was kind enough to—'

‘Give me your keys and I'll get it for you. I can catch a taxi there.'

‘That'd be stupid, when Miranda can drive you.'

He hesitated, deliberately not looking at the woman standing beside him. He didn't want to speak to her and he definitely didn't want to be shut up in a small car with her.

‘I'll get my car keys.' Miranda went to fetch her handbag.

Her voice was as low and musical as he'd remembered, even though she sounded strained today. She'd wormed her way in quickly with their daughter. Well, he'd not make the same mistake twice. Miranda was a Fox and that family was not to be trusted an inch. She seemed to be taking a long time to fetch her handbag.

‘Brody!'

He realized his daughter was speaking to him. ‘Sorry. I was miles away.'

‘I couldn't have managed without Miranda today. And if you can't sit in a car with her and be polite for ten minutes, if only out of gratitude for that, I shan't think much of you.'

He looked at her face. Her eyes looking bruised, her distress visible. He'd already guessed she didn't find the role of an army wife easy, for all her brave words. She was an affectionate woman, you only had to see her playing with Ned to realize that. It must be hell to be separated for long periods, even worse when your husband's life was on the line each time.

‘Very well. I'll go with her to fetch your car. But after that, I don't want to see her again, so make sure you don't invite us round here at the same time.' He knew his voice sounded stiff and ungracious, but it was the best he could manage.

‘I'm ready.'

He turned to Miranda, realizing she must have overheard him. Well, too bad. He couldn't help staring at what the years had done to her, surprised at the deep sadness that seemed ingrained in her face and the way she seemed to have folded up into herself. This wasn't the Miranda he'd known. In spite of himself he couldn't help wondering what had done this to her.

Not what,
who
, he corrected himself. Old man Fox and that damned brother of hers, that was who.

‘I'll be in touch,' Katie told her mother.

Miranda hesitated, then said, ‘Not if it upsets you.'

‘Don't you want to see us again?'

‘Of course I do. But the last thing I want is to cause trouble for anyone.'

‘You won't be causing me any trouble,' Katie said firmly.

When Miranda walked down the garden path, Brody followed. She unlocked her car and he got in without a word.