Authors: Anna Jacobs
And Sally Patel would be reading the letter Dorothy had sent her.
She wasn't just going to set her own life in order. She'd stood by for years and let them treat poor Miranda badly. She felt ashamed of that now. But maybe she could make up for it a little.
Miranda found Ned still sleeping peacefully when it was time to get him up for school. She heard a sound behind her and turned to see Brody standing in the doorway, looking at their grandson with a fond expression on his face.
She put one finger to her lips and moved towards him, indicating that they should move out of the room. âI don't think we should wake him. He didn't get a lot of sleep.'
âI agree.' He hesitated. âI really can look after him on my own if you have something to do.'
âI don't have anything I need to do for myself, but we ought to look at the food situation here and see if any shopping's needed.'
âHas Regina woken yet?'
âNo. I peeped into Katie's bedroom and she's spark out too. I envy them. I always find it hard to sleep past my normal get-up time, even if I've had a disturbed night.'
âSo do I.' As they entered the kitchen he stole a sideways glance at her, opened his mouth and closed it again.
âDid you want to ask something? As long as it's reasonably polite, go ahead.'
âI wondered what you'd been doing with yourself over the years. Did you ever finish your degree?'
âNo. Father prevented that. He didn't trust me again.'
âWhy the hell did you stay with him?'
â
Faute de mieux
. I had no money and nowhere else to go and . . . there were other threats.'
âYou could have got a job. Other people support themselves.'
âThere are things you don't know, things I don't want to talk about because they're too . . . painful.' And because most times when the subject of depression and mental hospitals came up, people began to look at her differently, as if she were less than human. She didn't think she could bear that sort of look from him on top of the insults.
She went to the fridge and peered inside, checking each shelf, then opened the freezer door and studied the contents, after which she investigated the pantry cupboard. âI think she must have been due to go shopping because there's not a lot here. And if you're still a hearty eaterâ' She remembered him having a big appetite and . . . better not go there.
âI am.'
âThen I'll have to visit the shops. I think I know my way to the shopping centre in Wootton Bassett.'
âBassett. Locals shorten it to just Bassett.'
âOh. Right. What do you want for tea?'
âWhatever you like. Let me give you some money towards it.' He fumbled in his pocket.
âAfter I get back.' She went up to get her handbag and, after another peek at her sister, left.
Brody stayed in the kitchen, making another piece of toast and eating it slowly, thinking about Miranda. She didn't look her age. But she did look toned down, as if someone had taken all the vivid colour out of her. He remembered suddenly that she used to start looking like that just before he took her home from university, and always insisted on being dropped some distance away from the house. What the hell had her family done to her?
âGood morning.'
He turned to see Regina come into the kitchen, her hair ruffled, her face creased where she must have lain on something with wrinkles in it. She headed straight for the kettle.
âI'm not human till I've had a cup of very strong coffee.'
âHelp yourself.'
âWhere's Miranda gone? It was her car engine starting up that woke me.'
âShopping. The cupboard's almost bare.'
The phone rang and he hurried across to pick it up. âKatie! How is he . . . ? Oh, good. That sounds promising. Yes, we're fine. Ned's still asleep. He had a disturbed night so we didn't wake him or try to send him to school. I hope you don't mind . . . Miranda? She's gone out shopping for groceries . . . No, it doesn't matter. We'd have to eat anyway.'
He listened intently. âLook, stay as long as you like, as long as you need. We'll be fine.'
Her next words annoyed him but he tried not to let that show in his voice. âYes, of course I'll give her a chance to explain. But she's refused to do that once already this morning, so don't hold your breath . . . OK then. I'll wait to hear from you.'
He put the phone down and saw Regina scowling at him. âWhat?'
âWas it Miranda you were talking about just now? The one you'll kindly allow another chance to explain?'
âYes.'
âShe won't do it.'
âWhy the hell not? Don't you think I'm owed an explanation?'
âYes. So I'm going to do it for her.' Regina took a sip of coffee, hot as it was, then gestured to the dining room. âDo you mind if we sit down? This might take a while.'
He followed her into the next room and sat at one end of the oval table, wondering what could be making her look so bleak. âWell?'
She took another sip of coffee. âI'm guessing you haven't a clue what happened after Father found out about the baby?'
âOnly that Miranda refused to see me.'
âShe didn't refuse. They kept her prisoner.'
âWhat? In this day and age? Not possible.'
âShe was so upset they insisted on calling in the doctor and Sebastian made sure she stayed at the house till he arrived. Sebastian has always enjoyed bullying and manhandling people.
âThe doctor was quite elderly, old-fashioned about women. He gave her sedatives of some sort. I don't know what. I was fifteen, keeping out of their way, terrified by all the screaming and shouting. Sebastian held her down while the doctor gave her an injection. It must have been a strong one, because she slept for hours.'
He watched impatiently as she took another slurp of coffee.
âI don't think they let her surface properly till she was in the mental hospital,' Regina said at last.
Brody stared at her, feeling sick. â
Mental hospital?
Why the hell was she in a mental hospital?'
âBecause the doctor put her there. And he continued to treat her, if you can call that treating. It was a private “home”.' She waggled her fingers in the air to mock the word. âAfter Miranda had the baby, they still kept her inside, still kept her tranquillized. From what I overheard, she wanted to keep the baby and refused to sign the adoption papers, so Sebastian forged her signature. I found a screwed-up piece of paper he'd been practising on. He was pretty good. It'd have fooled me.'
Regina waited again, head cocked on one side as if expecting some comment, but Brody couldn't speak for horror. In the end he managed to ask in a croaky voice he didn't recognize as his own, âHow did they get away with it?'
âWell, it was made easier because she really did have post-natal depression. Or was it just depression about what had happened? I don't know. They didn't let me visit her, but Father commented one day that she couldn't stop crying and she was in the best place. I think he'd persuaded himself by then that she really needed to be in there.'
Brody shook his head, near tears himself. âIt's hard to believe it was possible to do that.'
She raised one eyebrow. âA respected judge like Father, a family doctor who hadn't a blemish on his record, the owner of a special home who liked extra payments? It wasn't all that hard to arrange. I've pieced together the details over the years from things they've let drop.
âThere used to be a tradition of shoving people into mental hospitals when they did something socially inconvenient, you know. In the early seventies a Director of Social Services called Derrick Sheridan found several women in mental hospitals in the UK who'd been put inside and kept there merely for having illegitimate children. No one had done anything about them till he took over, but because he had a background in mental health, he understood that area and its needs. Forty years some of them had been inside. And this was the seventies, not the Dark Ages.'
âI'm surprised they ever let Miranda out.'
âThey didn't until she was thoroughly cowed, and they kept her on tranquillizers for years afterwards. In the end she found herself another doctor and since she didn't cause any trouble they let her come off the tablets. But by then they'd destroyed her self-esteem and confidence completely. Other people helped them unwittingly. Those who've been inside mental hospitals are often treated with suspicion afterwards, as if they can never truly recover.'
âBut she stayed at home and looked after him until he died.'
âYes. Amazing, isn't it? But remember she had no money, no history of employment either, because she'd never been employed. I got away from Australia, made sure they couldn't meddle with my life. I think Father set himself out to charm her after he'd had the stroke. He could be good company when he wanted, and he needed someone to look after him.
âAfter he died, she met a man called Lou Rayne, and he was the one who broke her out of her shell, the one who started to build up her confidence. He was dying and yet he took the time to look after her. That man must be in heaven, if anyone is.'
Brody tried to speak and couldn't. He found tears welling in his eyes, tears of outrage at what had been done to her, tears of remorse at what he'd thought about her, accused her of.
How could he ever make that up to her?
Would she even care now what he thought?
She was remarkably self-contained most of the time, like a walled citadel. He could see why. But now he wanted to break down the walls and find the old Miranda who'd been stolen from him. Surely she was still there?
Katie switched off her phone and slipped it into her handbag, smiling down at her husband. âNed's fine, still asleep. Brody said Miranda was out shopping and I'm not to worry. They can stay there and look after Ned as long as necessary.'
A new nurse came in, presumably the day shift. âGood morning. I hear you're a little better today, Mr Parrish.' She took his obs and nodded. âThe doctor's coming soon so we need to unwrap your leg. Perhaps you could wait outside, Mrs Parrish? There isn't really room for everyone in here.'
âGo and get some breakfast, darling,' Darren said.
She smiled and nodded but waited outside the room. She wasn't going anywhere till she'd spoken to the doctor.
A man in a white coat with a stethoscope round his neck came along the corridor, attended by another nurse who had an air of authority about her.
Katie stepped forward. âI'm Mrs Parrish, Doctor. I'd like to speak to you for a moment, after you've seen my husband.'
âYes, of course.'
When he came out a few moments later, he said, âLet's talk,' and led her into another little room with a few well-used seats, which made her feel even more apprehensive.
âHow's his leg?'
âNo worse. And his temperature is slightly better, which is a good sign. We're not out of the woods yet, but as long as he has a chance of keeping that leg, we'll hold off doing anything.'
She bent her head but the tears of relief wouldn't be held back. âThank goodness.'
âHe might always have a limp, though, or walk stiffly. You can't expect joints and muscles which have been that badly damaged to function fully again.'
âI don't know how he'll cope with that.'
âOne step at a time, eh? Let's keep the leg first then worry about rehabilitation. I just wanted to warn you.'
âI appreciate that.' She watched him go and sat on for a minute or two longer, then told herself not to be stupid. Darren was alive and had a chance of keeping the leg. That was the most important thing.
As Brody watched Regina drive away to go to the hospital and see Nikki, he heard sounds from upstairs. He listened. Yes, Ned had woken. He went upstairs to find the boy just coming out of the bathroom. âHello, sleepyhead.'
Ned looked at him for a moment as if wondering what he was doing there, then his lips made an O-shape as if he'd suddenly remembered and an anxious look came on his face.
âYour Mummy just rang to say your Daddy's a bit better this morning.'
Ned brightened a little. âCan he walk again?'
âNot yet. He has to lie in bed till his leg's better. That takes longer than an appendix. Now, are you hungry?'
âVery hungry. Where's Nanda?'
âShe's gone to the shops to buy some more food, because you've eaten it all up.' He ruffled the boy's hair slightly and grinned to show this was a joke. Such a solemn child.
âWhen Daddy's home, he eats a lot of food because he's a big man. Can I have my breakfast first then get dressed afterwards? I'm very hungry.'
âOf course.'
Chatting away, they went downstairs and Ned explained what he had for breakfast: a banana or apple then a plate of cereal with nuts sprinkled on the top. No coaxing this child to eat. He cleared his plate methodically then rinsed it carefully under the tap and put it in the dishwasher. He saw Brody looking and said, âDaddy says I mustn't leave everything to Mummy, because he's not here to help her.'
âWell done you.'
The little boy beamed at him.
It was nearly noon by the time Miranda got back, by which time Brody was beginning to worry that she'd got lost. He went out to help her carry in the bags of groceries, but beyond a quick nod, she didn't speak to him.
As he was picking up the last bag he said quietly, âRegina told me what happened to you.'
She stared at him in shock, then apprehension.
âWe need to talk.'
âI don't want to talk about it.'
âWell, I do. You've not heard my side of the story.'
âI'm not mad and I never was.'
âI realize that. It's your father and brother who were crazy, if you ask me.'