Wings (30 page)

“Not so great.” He'd been drinking that morning when she left him after breakfast He just couldn't face what had happened yet. He only drank in moments of great stress or celebration, and when she went back, he was sitting alone in the living room and crying.

“Hi, Dad,” she said as she came in. She had lain awake all night, thinking of how she had resented Chris, of how often she had thought her father liked him better. She wondered if Chris had ever known it. She hoped not. “How're you feeling?”

He just shrugged and didn't bother to answer. She talked about some of their visitors then, and about stopping to see Billy at the airport. But for once, her father didn't ask how things were there.

“Did you see Desmond Williams here yesterday?” she said, groping for things to say to him as he looked up at her blankly. But at least this time he answered.

“Was he here?” She nodded, and sat down next to him. “That was nice of him. What's he like, Cass?” Her father had talked to him briefly, but he didn't remember in the agony of the day.

“He's very quiet, very honest… hardworking… lonely.” They were odd things to say about the man she worked for. “Driven, I guess, would be the right word. He lives for his business. It's all he has.”

‘That's sad for him,” he said, looking at her, and then he started to cry again, thinking about the air show. The poor kid had been only twenty. “It could have been you, Cass,” he said through his tears. “It could have been you last year. I was never so scared as when I watched you.”

“I know,” she smiled, “I scared the pants off Nick too, but I knew what I was doing.”

“That's what we all think,” he said gloomily. “Chris probably thought so too.”

“But he never did know, Dad. He wasn't like us.”

“I know,” he agreed. They all knew it too. Chris had really never known what he was doing. “I just keep thinking of how he looked when you and Billy pulled him out.” He looked sick as he thought about it, and not knowing what else to do, she poured him another drink. But by lunchtime, he was slurring and half asleep. And then finally, he dozed off, and she just let him sit there. Maybe the best thing for him was to sleep. Her mother came back that afternoon with two of Cassie's sisters, and by then her father was awake and had sobered up again. Cassie made them all something to eat, and then they sat talking quietly in the kitchen.

It was odd being with all of them, and Cassie realized that they seemed to be waiting for something. It was as though the reality of Chris's being gone hadn't sunk in yet, and everyone was waiting for him to come home, or for someone to tell them it hadn't happened. But it had. It had been as bad as it could have been. It couldn't have been much worse, except if he had suffered.

Glynnis and Megan left when Colleen arrived, with all her kids, and the brief chaos did them all good, and then finally they were alone again. Cassie cooked dinner for her parents, and she was glad she was there with them. She had no idea yet when she'd be leaving. Her mother cried again at the end of the meal, and Cassie put her to bed, like a child, but her father seemed better that night. He was calmer and very clear-headed, and he wanted to talk to her after Oona had gone to bed. He asked her about her work, and if she liked it, what kind of planes she'd been flying, and about her life in LA He knew the year was up and he wondered if Cassie would stay in LA or come home now. With Chris gone, his concerns were more poignant.

“I've been offered a new contract.” Cassie answered his question directly.

“What's he giving you?” he asked with interest.

“Double what he paid me last year,” she said proudly, “but I was going to send the difference to you and Mom. I really don't need it.”

“You might,” her father said gruffly. “You never know what can happen. Your sisters have their husbands to take care of them, but you, and Chris…” And then he caught himself and his eyes filled with tears again as she touched his hand and he held hers tightly. “I forget sometimes,” he said through his tears.

“I know, Daddy… so do I…” She had been thinking about Chris that afternoon, and wondered if he was in Walnut Grove with Jessie, and then she remembered. It was as though their hearts and minds just didn't want to accept it. She had talked to Jessie on the phone that afternoon, and she felt that way too. She said she kept listening for his truck. They all did.

“Anyway, I want you to keep the money,” Pat said firmly.

“That's silly.”

“Why is he paying you so much?” he asked with a worried frown. “He's not making you do anything dishonest, is he, Cass? Or too dangerous?”

“No more dangerous than any other test pilot who works for him, and probably less so. He's got a big investment in me. I think he just thinks I'm useful to the company, because I'm a woman, and all the publicity… the speed records I've set are important for his planes.” And then she looked at him, wondering if it was too soon to tell him. But she wanted to tell him now. She wanted to sign the contract as soon as she went back. She had thought about it a lot in the last few days, in spite of Chris, and she knew what she wanted.

“He wants me to do a world tour, Dad,” she said quietly, and for a moment, there was a long silence while he absorbed it.

“What kind of world tour? There's a war on, you know.”

“I know. He said we'd have to work around it. But he thinks it could be done safely, if we plan our route carefully.”

“So did George Putnam,” her father said grimly. He had just lost one child, he didn't want to lose another. “There's no way to do a world tour safely, Cass, war or no. There are too many variables, too many dangers. Your engines could fail. You could navigate wrong. You could hit a storm. A million unexpected things could happen.”

“But less so in one of his planes, and if I took the right man with me.”

“Did you have anyone in mind?” He thought instantly of Nick, but he couldn't go now.

Cassie nodded. “I thought maybe Billy.” Pat hesitated while he thought about it, and then he nodded.

“He's good,” he agreed. “But he's young,” and then he reconsidered. “Maybe you have to be. No one older than you kids would be crazy enough to want to do it.” He almost smiled then, and Cass suddenly felt better. It was almost as though he had approved. And she wanted him to. She wanted to do it with his blessing. “Is that why they're paying you so much?”

“No,” she shook her head. “They'd pay me even more for the world tour.” She didn't even dare tell him how much. A hundred and fifty thousand would sound like the world to him, and it was. And she didn't want him to think she was doing it out of greed, because she wasn't. “And there would be bonuses, and other contracts resulting from it, and endorsements. It's a pretty good deal,” she explained modestly. But even talking about those amounts of money scared her.

“It's not a good deal if you're dead,” Pat said bluntly, and she nodded. “You'd better think about it carefully, Cassandra Maureen. It's not a game. You'll take your life in your hands if you do it.”

“What do you think I should do, Dad?” She was begging for his approval and he knew it.

“I just don't know,” he said, and then he closed his eyes, thinking about it. He opened them again, and reached for her hands and held them. “You have to do what you need to do, Cass. Whatever it is your mind and heart tell you. I can't stand between you and a great future. But if you get hurt, I'll never forgive myself… or Desmond Williams. I'd like you to stay here, and never risk anything again… particularly after what just happened to Chris. But that's not right. You have to follow your heart. I said as much to Nick when he decided to go to England. You're young, it could be a great thing if you make it. And a terrible heartbreak for us, if you don't.” He looked at her long and hard, not sure what else he should say to her. It was her decision in the end. She'd been right to go to Los Angeles the year before, but he just didn't know now.

“I'd like to do it, Daddy,” she said quietly, and he nodded.

“At your age, I would have too. It would have been the greatest opportunity in my life, if anyone had offered it. But they didn't,” He smiled, and looked more like himself again. “You're a lucky girl, Cass. That man has given you a great chance to become someone very important. It's a gift… but a dangerous one. I hope he knows what he's doing.”

“So do I, Daddy. But I trust him. He's too smart to take chances. He believes totally in what he's doing.”

“When does he want you to go?” Pat asked cautiously.

“Not for another year. He wants to plan it perfectly.”

“I like that,” Pit said. “Well, think about it, and let me know what you decide. I wouldn't tell your mother for a while, if you decide to do it.” She nodded, and a little while later they turned out the lights and went to bed, but she was immensely relieved to have talked to him, and even more so that he hadn't gotten angry. He seemed to have finally accepted who she was, and what she was doing. He'd come a long way since he'd forbidden her to fly or take lessons. The memory of that made her smile now.

She talked to Billy about it the next day, and he went wild when she told him she had suggested him as her navigator and co-pilot.

“You want me?” he shrieked and then threw his arms around her neck and kissed her. “Zowie!!!!”

“Would you do it?”

“Are you kidding? When do we leave? I'll pack now.”

“Relax,” she laughed at him, “
not
for another year. July 2, 1941,
to
be exact. He wants to do
it
on the anniversary of the day Earhart went down. It's a little spooky but he likes that.” It had to do with publicity, and in that, she trusted Desmond's judgment.

“Why so long?” Billy sounded disappointed.

“He wants to plan it carefully, build
it
up, test the right plane. He's thinking about our using the Starlifter, which would be tremendous publicity for it, for distance and endurance.” That was really what it was all about, but if they made it, their lives would never be the same again. And she already knew that there was fifty thousand dollars in it for Billy, and she told him.

“I could sure have a good time with that, couldn't I?” But like Cassie, it wasn't the money that appealed to him, it was the excitement and the challenge. It was the same thing that appealed to Desmond, and had even sparked a flicker of excitement in her father. “Well, let me know what you do.” And like her father, he suspected that she had already made the decision. She had, but she was trying it on for size, thinking about it, trying to be sure she wanted to make the commitment. Working for Desmond for another year was one thing, that was an easy choice, but agreeing to do the world tour was entirely different, and she knew it. She knew how great the risks were, and the benefits, if she made it. Imagine what Earhart would have been if she had succeeded. It was hard to imagine her legend being even stronger than it was, but it would have been. If only…

Billy left on a quick hop to Cleveland that afternoon, and her father was still at home, so Cassie volunteered to stick around and close the office. She put some papers away for them, and then she put on a familiar pair of overalls and went out to gas some planes. She had nothing else to do, and it would save Billy some work in the morning.

She had just finished the last of them, and put away some tools, when she saw a small plane coming in on the main runway. The little plane didn't seem to hesitate. It came right in, and then taxied toward the far hangar. She wondered if it was a regular, it had to be. She didn't know all of them anymore. He seemed to know exactly where to go, and what to do. She watched him for a minute, but the sun was in her eyes. And then she saw him. It couldn't be… it couldn't… but it was. He had come home to them. It was Nick. And she was crying as she ran toward him. She flew into his arms and he held her there, careful of her bandaged arm. It brought it all back to be there with him, the sorrow and the pain, and the shock of losing Chris mingled with the pleasure of seeing Nick now. He kissed her long and hard, and she felt safe and at peace suddenly, knowing he was home now.

“They let me go as soon as I heard,” he explained when they came up for air. “But I had a hell of a time getting to New York. I had to fly out of Lisbon, I got in last night, and I chartered this crate in New York this morning. I never thought I'd make it. The damn thing barely got off the ground in New Jersey.”

“I'm so glad you're here.” She hugged him again, so relieved to see him. And he looked incredibly handsome in his RAF uniform. But also very worried.

“How's your dad?”

“Not great,” she said honestly. “He'll be glad to see you. I'll drive you over now. You can stay with us.” And then she almost choked on the words, “You can have Chris's room… or mine… I'll sleep on the couch.” Billy was living in Nick's old shack, and it would have been close quarters with both of them there.

“I can sleep on the floor,” he grinned. “It's not a problem. The British aren't known for their comfortable barracks. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since last September.”

“When are you coming home?” she asked, as she drove him to her parents’ house.

“When it's over.” But it wouldn't be over soon. Now that France had fallen three weeks before, Hitler had control of an even larger chunk of Europe. And the British had their hands full keeping him from trying to take what was left of the French fleet in North Africa. Their problems were far from over.

Nick inquired about her arm, and she admitted it hurt, but was getting better.

They had arrived at the house by then, and her father was sitting in a chair on the porch looking doleful.

“Cot a cot for a soldier, Ace?” Nick said quietly as he stepped onto the porch and walked swiftly to his old friend and embraced him. The two men cried, sharing each other's pain, and Cassie left them alone to talk and fix them some dinner. Her mother had gone to bed with a terrible headache. She was still taking it very hard, understandably, he had been her baby, and so young. He was only twenty.

Cassie made them both sandwiches and poured them beer, and her mother had made a big salad in case they wanted it. It was enough. None of them were very hungry. And as they ate, Nick told them about what was happening in Europe. He had heard tales of the fall of France three weeks before, and the heartbreaking fall of Paris. The Germans were everywhere, and the British were afraid Hitler would try to take them next, and there was some fear that he might succeed, although no one said it.