Wings of Deception (23 page)

“
Th
at
bad man wants you
really bad
forever but Jesus wants you
too.
” She gave a little smile. “Your angel sure
is
nice.
”

She let go of Jacks hand and
asked for a
nother
drink
. W
hen she finished
with it
she said, “I’m tired now, can I go back to sleep?”

“Sure you can. We will just say good bye now.” Honey kissed her check
and the little girl said sleepily,
“Tell him not
to
go in
to
the
ring
with the man. It won’t be safe.”

She then slid down in the bed and was asleep instantly.

“That’s how it has been the last week. The drip feeds her
pain
meds
often now
,
to keep away the pain.
When it kicks in
,
she’s out for a while. When she is awake
,
she
doesn’t
make a lot of sense
,
”
said Brenna.

Joe walked
out with them
,
thanking them for coming and for the beautiful flowers Jacks
had
sent a few days before.

Children and their welfare was his life’s work and
though he
could fight to protect one
from abuse,
an illness like Carol’s
,
he could do nothing to help. He thought
, I wonder where her God is in all this sickness
. His old wounds and hurts
came
back to haunt him
,
for he grew up saying,
if there is a God, how could he let children suffer so much.

“I am really sorry
Mr.
Bowler
. S
he
really
is a great kid.”

When
he and Honey
got to the parking lot Jacks pondered on what Carol had said to him. He
also
heard what she said to Honey
.

“What do you suppose she meant by that?”
He questioned her.

They were approaching Honey’s car and she popped the lock before answering. “I have no idea Jacks. I did not want
to tire
her; the poor darling is barely here.”

Tears filled her eyes and they both felt sad.

“Of course not, for that my dear, would be classified as
child
abuse.”

She shook her head smiling for she sensed he was trying to cheer her.

“If you like
,
we can have coffee before you leave.”

“I was waiting for you to suggest something but how about lunch instead, my treat.”

“Okay, I know a small place here I really like to eat
at
and one of my friend
’
s
daughters
works there too.”

He was not too familiar with Philadelphia
,
so agreed to follow her to the City Limits, a small square of a building that had a parking lot full of cars
which indicated to
him the food must be pretty good.

He did enjoy his lunch, blackened fish with the New Orleans
twist
he found appealing. They talked about the food, the town and finally got around to talking about Sheila. Honey was curious about his friend who planned to move to Mississippi and work with him. Jacks had shared some of her background and she was surprised when he told her that Sheila was a
lifelong
Christian. When she remarked on it he teased, “What, do you think I am prejudice or something? I hang out with you and you are one.”

She made a funny face at him. “No, that is not what I think
. I was just saying, before I became a Christian, I avoided them fiercely.”

“Yet, now that you are one, you have no problems consorting with us non
-
Christians?”

She had to laugh at his attempt at humor. She relaxed over
the
fresh cup of coffee
Glenna
delivered
to
them. Looking around at the almost empty room
,
she realized they had lingered over their lunch
un
til it was almost closing time.
She knew they closed at two,
reopen
ing
at five for the dinner crowd.

“Let’s just say I am a better person now than before
,
when I judged people for what they believed or didn’t believe in. I used to have compassion only for children, now I have compassion for all people. God is love and we are here to learn to love His way, unconditionally.”

She halfway expected him to jump up ready to leave but instead he leaned over the table and said with
some
pain showing in his eyes.

“If what you say could be truth
,
then
tell me
where is that special love your God is supposed to have for Carol? I am not seeing
it;
as a matter of fact I have never seen it! Honey, believe what you will but do not
try to convince me that someone with as much power as
a
God
would have, if there was one, would let people suffer.
”

Pity filled Honey as she saw raw hurt in his eyes and knew
that
Jacks was not talking about ‘people’ in general
,
but himself. She opened her heart for the first time in a long time to a man.
It was not something she planned to do, it just happened.
They had a lot in common, both had endured traumatic childhoods.
They both had made helping children their life’s work.
At that moment s
he wanted to help him more than anything she ever wanted to do. She prayed for God to help her with words that would sooth old wounds and give Jacks hope.

“When we hurt
,
He hurts too and even when we do not believe
,
He gives us the strength to
survive whatever we have to. You did survive didn’t you Jacks? We both did.”

“And the ones who do not
survive
, what about them?”

“They abide with
Jesus
, in a dimension where everything is perfect. They are home
,
where we all long to be.” She changed her tone of voice from the soft soothing one to a brisk challenging one.

“Tell me, do you ever feel homesick but you have no idea what for?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “I suppose, why?”

“Because
,
even without believing deep down inside
,
you know you are missing something. To miss something
,
you have to have had it at one time, yes?”

Not waiting for an answer, she kept on. “Think about this and I promise, no more
lectures
. We had it all at one time, with God who was and still is, our Father. We lived here on Earth in the first Earth Age, happy, until the
re was an uprising and rebellion.”

Jacks laughed uncomfortably, “Come on, I think they want us to leave
..
.
s
ay that I believe what you are saying. Again, if He had all this power, why would He let
suffering
happen?”

They got up and Jacks left money lying on the table for the check and tip. It was obvious that the café was waiting on them to leave so they could close.
Once outdoors she said,

“Freewill.”

“What?”

Her car was closer
to the restaurant
and he
opened her door and
waited while she got in.

“Freewill
, God gave us freewill, that’s why.”

“Sorry, not buying, but great lunch and I enjoyed your company. Will you keep me posted on Carol?”

“I will.”

He shut her door for her and went around to his own vehicle and waved as she passed him.

Honey sighed. She just had this strange feeling that she knew Jacks
from before but she knew she would have remembered meeting him
,
“
I just
feel like I have known him forever!” She exclaimed this to no one but herself
. “God, please do not let me fall in love with this man!” But something told her that it was too late.

SIXTEEN

The last thing
Sheila
did before leaving New York was visit the cemetery. Fresh flowers in hand she asked the cab driver to wait for her. It was early morning and the sun
was shining
bright
ly
through the trees that were scattered throughout the fenced in garden of the dead. Only Sheila knew both her mother and father were not lying dead in their marked graves but alive and with the one true God of all.

Knowing this made it easier to leave and she laid the flowers between the two graves
,
silently praying for strength to live
the life her parents taught her
to live
. She was having a hard time dealing with the events of the past year and when she prayed she felt no
emotions
but she determined that her faith would stand.

She climbed back in the cab and told the driver that she was ready to go to the airport. And she was. Excitement filled her
,
thinking about a fresh start, away from all her memories in New York, both good and bad.

Honey
had invited her to stay with her until she decided where she wanted to live.
Jacks
thought it was a better idea than staying with him with all the work he was doing to his cabin. She was fine with that, for
having
talk
ed
to Honey several times on the phone she was thinking she would like her. Of course
,
it meant she would have a nice little drive to work every day, but an hour
’s
drive
on an open road kind
of
appealed to her.

Her parent
’
s ho
me
was now
being
occupied by a young family with two children and all the furniture was in storage
. She
had
tied up all the loose ends with the John Herbert Foundation for Children and she dropped the Belk from her name, reverting back to Herbert.

The drive to the airport took a good hour with traffic at its worse
. T
here was plenty of time
,
so she let the driver do the worrying and relaxed in her seat reflecting on the past twenty-five years of her life and day dreaming about
the new chapter she was about to begin.

                                                                                   SEVENTEEN

It was
over
a year since Kim had passed
.
Dwight
took Gem to her gravesite to put flowers on it. His little girl was walking now, running everywhere and being as curious as only a child
could
be. He put her down while he put the flowers in a vase that was
designed
into the tombstone and brushed of
f
the acrylic covering his favorite picture of
Kim
. He knew it was only a shell
that
she had left behind
but like most others who buried loved ones, he needed that memorial to visit every once in a while, and
for Gem
.