Winners and Losers (24 page)

He couldn't go back to London until he'd seen Sarah. Besides, he wasn't sure he wanted to sing with the band again – any band. He'd felt good up on stage, flirting with the girls, and he hadn't given a thought to the reputation that he was gaining. Now it all seemed tawdry and pointless.

He decided to go to Daniel's house, because there was nowhere else until this started to blow over.

Daniel went into the hairdressing shop. A girl was shampooing a customer and another lady had rollers in her hair. They stared at him with hostility, because this was a ladies' hairdressing salon and he was intruding. Maura was standing behind the reception desk. She glared at him as she saw him.

‘What can I do for you, sir?'

‘I think we need to talk – about David.'

Her eyes widened. She hesitated, looked angry and then twitched her head towards the back of the shop.

‘You had better come through,' she said. ‘I shall only be a few minutes, Shirley.'

Daniel followed her through into what was obviously the staff area with chairs and shelves stocked with towels, lotions and shampoos. It smelled of something strong, like ammonia. Maura turned to face him, a glitter of defiance in her eyes.

‘Is he with you? How did he find you? Have you spoken to him – told him . . .?'

‘You already did that when you were drunk, apparently,' Daniel said coldly. ‘He found my address in your things and caught the bus to Stretton, then walked to my home. It is a long walk for a lad who isn't used to country ways.'

‘Don't look at me like that,' Maura muttered and looked shamed. ‘I don't drink all the time. Just when I get desperate.'

‘I'm not here to judge you,' Daniel said. ‘You were drunk the night I took you home – when all this started. It seems you haven't learned your lesson. What are you going to do about the boy? He wants to go to his grandmother in Ireland.'

‘That would suit my mother,' Maura said bitterly. ‘She is always writing to me, telling me to go home. If he went without me, she would be in her element.' She shook her head. ‘I'm not having it. You should have brought him back with you.'

‘He didn't want to come and I can't blame him. It isn't much of a life for him here. He is bullied at school and then you hit him for fighting. He was standing up for you, because they were calling you filthy names.'

‘I didn't mean to hit him,' Maura said. ‘I love him. He knows I care about him.'

‘It didn't seem that way to me,' Daniel told her. ‘I think you've got a lot of fences to mend with your son, Maura. Why don't you start by taking him to Ireland for a holiday?'

‘What is it to you?'

‘You made it my business when you came looking for me,' Daniel said, his mouth tight with anger. ‘I'm going to keep David with us for tonight and bring him back tomorrow when he has calmed down. I can't force you to do what is best for him and I can't force you to stop drinking – but he is my son and I won't see you drag him into the gutter. Alice knows about you and about David. I reckon she would take him in if I asked her.'

‘You can't take him away from me!'

‘I can if you make yourself an unfit mother! It isn't a threat, Maura, just a warning. He is with us and he's safe. I'll bring him home tomorrow and after that it is up to you.'

Maura stared at him without speaking. Daniel left her and went out through the shop. He was glad to get outside, because the atmosphere was steamy and smelled strongly of lotions and perfume. He walked down the street, deciding to call in at the newsagent's to buy some sweets for the kids and a box of chocolates for Alice. A board was outside the shop proclaiming some headlines. Stopping to read them, Daniel's blood ran cold. He forgot about the sweets as he turned towards his car.

Connor had been accused of raping a fifteen-year-old girl! It made him feel sick. Once upon a time he would have sworn it was a lie, but his brother had gone off and left him in the lurch. He wasn't sure what Connor was capable of these days.

Maura felt cold all over after Daniel left her. She had never dreamed David would go to his father. She had mentioned that she'd been given money for him from his real father, but she didn't know she'd talked about Daniel when she was drunk.

How many times had David watched her when she was too drunk to know what she was doing? She felt hot and cold by turns as she realized what he must have felt – what he'd seen!

He was being bullied at school because of her. Maura felt the vomit in her throat. She ran outside to the yard toilet and was violently sick. Walking back to the rest room she rinsed her mouth with water and took a look at herself in the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was getting puffy. If she wasn't careful, she would die before her time – and she would be alone. As soon as David was able he would leave her. He would go to his grandmother and uncle in Ireland.

Maura knew that her mother would lecture her on her morals and the likelihood that she would end in hell, but she would take David in and care for him, give him a better life than Maura could. Perhaps she should take Daniel's advice and give her son a holiday in Ireland. Shirley was capable of looking after the shop for a couple of weeks.

Maura knew she couldn't live in Ireland herself, because she would find it too confining. Her mother was a strict Catholic and she would be bullied into going to church and to confession – but David could stay if he wanted. She would take him and then come back . . .

‘Connor!' Alice pushed a cup of hot strong tea in front of him as he finished telling her why he was home. The kitchen was warm, familiar and comforting with its smells of baking and herbs. ‘That is awful, love. You should sue them for telling lies about you in the papers!'

‘Thanks, Alice.' Connor gave her a grateful smile. He thought how pretty she looked, and happy – much happier than she had been a few months earlier. ‘That is just like you – no questions, no doubts, just tea and sympathy. Thanks for believing me.'

‘Of course I believe you. I know you, Con. You wouldn't do something like that – besides, you love Sarah.'

‘Yes, I do, and I wouldn't – but I'm not sure Sarah will believe me. I went there first thing, before I came here. Mr Jenkins gave me a fair hearing, but Sarah's mother is angry. She knows Sarah is upset and . . . I think she wants Sarah to break it off with me.'

‘No! She couldn't,' Alice said and looked upset for him. ‘That is so unfair. I know this must be a shock for her, but it isn't your fault. If Sarah loves you, she should stand by you – show you she cares.'

‘Perhaps she doesn't,' Connor said. He toyed with the handle of his cup. ‘Sarah is still very young. I know she is as old as you were when you married Dan, but you were different. Sarah's parents have sheltered her from the harsh reality of life. She hasn't had to face things the way you did . . .'

‘We had a war to fight. I loved Dan so much but he had to leave me as soon as we were married and for a long time I believed he might have been killed. You grow up quickly when you're faced with things like that – and you understand what is important.'

‘Yes, I know. Dan was lucky to find you. I know you've had hard times, Alice – but you're still in love, aren't you?'

‘Yes, I am,' Alice said and smiled. ‘Things weren't right between us for a while but we're over that, Connor. I'll let Dan tell you about it himself, but let's say I understand how your Sarah feels – and I know that she will see sense in time if she loves you.'

‘I wish I were as certain. I have to see her tomorrow, Alice. Is it all right if I stay here for a few days? I need to think about what I'm going to do . . .'

‘This is your home, Con. Dan has gone out for a while, but I dare say he will be back soon.'

‘I doubt he will be as forgiving as you. He thinks I ran out on him and he warned me it would end in tears.'

‘Well, he should be understanding. Things are all right for us now,' Alice said. ‘He's working on a car in the yard and he has sold the milking herd, but we've kept the chickens and pigs for the moment.'

‘And the geese,' Connor said with a grin. ‘One of them ran at me when I came in.'

‘They should be in a pen. I bet the boys let them out,' Alice said. ‘I'll have to catch them or they will make a mess everywhere.' She looked at Connor. ‘Your clothes are too good or I would ask you to give me a hand.'

‘I'll go up and put some old cords on. Then I'll come and give you a hand.'

Nine

A
lan was sitting in the walled garden. It was early spring but in places where the wind could not reach the sun was warm enough if you wrapped up well, and the flowerbeds were already ablaze with colour. He had fingerless mittens on his hands, a battered old hat pulled low over his forehead and a scarf around his throat. The half-finished painting in front of him was coming along well, and he had a feeling of well-being, of contentment.

Living here with Emily was as close to Paradise as he was likely to get this side of the great divide. He would have liked her to marry him so that they could travel together a little, but he knew that if he pushed too hard, it might spoil what they had together.

Alan had dreamed of being Emily's lover and he was very grateful that she had given him this time. He knew that it would not last for long. Sometimes his heart behaved oddly and he was breathless for short periods. Once or twice in the night he had felt really ill, and he was thankful that although they were lovers they did not sleep together. His pride would not let him tell Emily that his doctor had warned him he was on the slippery slope. She would wrap him in cotton wool and she might not let him make love to her. He didn't want to be treated as an invalid. He wanted to make the most of this gift he had been given. One day he would have to leave her, because he was determined not to become a burden to her, but he believed he had a short time left to him. Perhaps a few weeks or months . . .

‘Alan, time for tea!'

He heard Emily's voice calling him and got to his feet. He could see her standing on the terrace and he thought, as he often did, how lovely she was. It was hardly fair to her that she was stuck here, bound by that stupid promise to Vane. She was young and there was so much love in her. He wished that he was young and dashing and could carry her off with him to a land of sunshine where she could live the way she was intended. She was such a passionate woman; he knew she needed what they had together as much as he did, and in Alan's experience that was a rare and precious thing in a woman of her class.

He knew that she struggled to keep this place afloat and it made him angry. He wished that he could take the burden from her, but she would not have let him even if he'd been rich enough. When he was gone she would have something, but not to throw away on this place – no, it was for her, to set her free . . .

He got up and began to walk towards her. Sometimes he felt so weary, but not today, when the sun was shining and Emily was waiting for him.

Connor had just finished penning the last of the geese when he saw his brother drive into the yard in the van. Daniel got out and stood staring at him for a moment and then turned, walking into the house without a word or even a nod of his head. Connor frowned, because he guessed that Daniel had seen the papers – and his reaction was obvious. He believed that Connor was guilty.

Anger roiled inside him. He strode towards the kitchen just as the children came running across the yard. Danny flung himself at him, and Connor swept him off his feet. He greeted all his brother's children with smiles and promised them sweets when they got in the house. Then he saw the other boy, standing back a little from the others. His hair was darker than Danny's but in all other respects they could have been twins.

‘You don't know our cousin David,' Danny said. ‘Mum said he's a distant cousin but he looks like me, doesn't he?'

‘Yes, he does,' Connor agreed. ‘Hi, David. Nice to see you. Are you all coming in now? I think Alice has been baking again.'

‘Mrs Searles bakes nice cakes,' David said. ‘Are you my . . . Mr Searles' brother Connor? I heard you singing on the wireless. I think you're good. I should like to buy your records, but I don't get much pocket money.'

‘Thank you,' Connor said. His anger had cooled now. He couldn't say anything in front of the children and perhaps that was as well. ‘I've got some copies of my new records for you, kids – you too if you like, David?'

He shut from his mind the worrying thought that perhaps the singles would not be released now. Daniel glanced at him as they walked into the kitchen as a group. His expression was a mixture of doubt, annoyance and uncertainty. Alice had told him Connor's side of things and he was mulling it over.

Connor decided to let it go. He didn't want to argue with his brother, especially in front of the kids. He left them sitting down to Alice's lemon barley and cake and went upstairs, changing into his usual gear. He took his gifts of records and sweets down to the kitchen, making sure that ‘cousin' David got his share.

‘I'm going for a walk,' he announced. ‘I'll speak to you later, Dan. I have some thinking to do.'

He wandered along the drives for a while, enjoying the peace and the sound of a meadow lark that hovered overhead and sang his song. Connor's thoughts were chasing themselves in circles because he didn't know what he wanted to do for the future. He had been caught up in a whirlwind, and the brief time he'd spent rushing from one venue to the next had been lucrative. Despite the high fees for agents and the record company's share of the proceeds, Connor had over forty thousand pounds in the bank. It was nowhere near as much as he might have made if the records had gone to number one and got into America, but it was far more than he'd ever expected. Enough to buy a house and go into business.