Winning It All (20 page)

Everything was heightened for this race. Though
it seemed the level of competition could jack no higher, it always did. Worldwide media, teams and fans invaded the town and the track with the fervor of a religious movement. Sponsors and business partners held special events. Drivers smiled for the cameras, while their insides jumped like a pond of frogs.

On Cade’s particular team, Sam was worried about the engine. Bryan was worried about fuel mileage. Cade was simply worried.

While he had three wins for the season so far, and two other drivers had two each—including Chance Baker—Cade had had some bad finishes lately and had fallen to fourth in the championship standings. He was so edgy, no one wanted to be around him—apparently including his wife, since she sat beside Darcy in the pair of seats in front of Bryan.

As he rose to depart the plane, he stepped back so they could slide in front of him.

He touched Darcy’s shoulder, and she turned her head to smile at him. His heart jumped, as always.

She let Isabel out in front of her, then reached back to squeeze his hand.

Moments like these were ones that made him realize how vital she’d become to his life. He wasn’t sure he’d ever shared a bond with anyone like the one he had with Darcy.

And yet everything was also unsettled.

Over the last few weeks, they’d established a pattern. She went to and from the hotels near the track
with Parker and Rachel. Parker always made sure Darcy had a room reservation, and Bryan felt better knowing she wasn’t making those trips—on unfamiliar roads and often at night—alone.

The schedule also gave his dates with Darcy a deadline. When Parker and Rachel were ready to leave the track, Darcy went with them. And while he’d taken more cold showers over the summer than he’d had in his life, he’d nearly convinced himself that his ability to maintain a platonic relationship with a woman he wanted more than he needed to take his next breath was a test of his yoga skills.

He focused as often as possible on work, which he at least understood. Except when she smiled at him. Or touched him. Or breathed in his vicinity.

Hell, he was in a world of trouble.

But on Friday afternoon following practice, he smiled as he walked through the garage area.

The expression was a rare occurrence pretty much anytime, but when his teams were running lousy, a good mood was usually nonexistent. But today he was going home to Darcy.

He hadn’t thought about home in a long time. He had a house; he had a motor home. They’d both been professionally decorated, and he’d added little. His ex-wife had influenced his surroundings way more than he had, and he hadn’t bothered to change much since she’d left.

He had a home he’d grown up in, but that wasn’t the same since his parents’ breakup.

His stagnant position stemmed back to his accident.

His very identity had changed in a moment of screeching tires and crashing metal on the highway. He was a race car driver, then suddenly he wasn’t. He’d lost his career, his wife, his fire, his ambition, his physique, his confidence…everything.

Darcy had brought it all back. And though things would never be exactly the way they were before, he’d regained much of what had been missing in his life.

He could handle anything that came his way. He could face a practice session where his teams were running eighteenth, twenty-second and twenty-fifth for one of the biggest races of the year.

Wincing, he turned down the row of motor homes where his was parked. Well, the
idea
could still be painful, even if he was confident about being able to deal with the situation.

He opened his door and lifted his credential lanyard over his head, tossing it on the kitchen counter to his left. “Hey, what’s—”

“Hi, Bryan.”

He blinked, but his ex-wife was still sitting on his sofa.

Leggy, glossy and blond, she smiled at him as she stood. “How are you?”

He was…He seemed to have lost his voice. As well as the anger he usually associated with her. “Fine,” he finally managed to say.

She moved toward him, her long, tanned legs closing the distance in two strides. “You certainly look good.” Brushing her fingertips down the front of his T-shirt, her gaze connected with his. “Really good.”

Glaring at her, he stepped back. “I’m busy. Do you need something?”

She moved toward him. “Just you.”

What?

He barely stopped short of asking the question out loud. What the devil was going on with her? The desire in her eyes, the longing in her voice, was something he’d dreamed about for a long time. Suddenly she was delivering his wish?

When he’d needed her the most, she’d run. Bolted to his family’s greatest rival and crippled his recovery from the accident. She’d only wanted a driver, not him. For better or for worse be damned.

And yet, the guy he thought he’d buried in the last few months, the angry, selfish man who’d started out on a fitness quest purely for revenge, looked at her and wondered. What did she want from him? Why was she here? Did she now regret leaving him? If so, how much?

“Do you really?” he asked, his tone cynical. “What happened to Chance?”

Her eyes brimming with tears, she looked away. “He’s gone. I’m not sure he ever cared about me at all.”

“No kidding.”

She dragged her gaze back to his. “He’s not like you.”

Finally, something he could agree with. “No, he’s not. Look, Nicole, if you came here to—”

She pressed herself against him, backing him against the wall. Her perfume, an exotic, musky blend of flowers, washed over him, teasing his memory with times when he’d desired her with a fever.

“What do you say, Bryan?” she whispered, her lips nearly touching his. “Wanna take a walk down memory lane?”

D
ARCY PAUSED
with her hand on the door latch of Bryan’s motor home.

“I love him,” she whispered, hoping when she said the words aloud for the first time they’d sound wrong.

They didn’t.

Crap.

Darkness had settled over the track, but the heat hadn’t abated. She’d give up chocolate for a month for a cool breeze.

On second thought, that was a rash promise. She might need a truckload of it before the night was over.

Deciding she’d been a chicken long enough, she flipped the latch and opened the door. Cool air washed over her as she peered into the darkness. Confused, she started to call Bryan’s name when she saw him, pacing near the front of the motor home. He had a bottle in his hand.

He stopped and turned toward her. “Where’ve you been?”

She closed the door behind her. “Hi, to you, too.”

“I was getting worried,” he said, though he didn’t
move toward her. No welcoming kiss, no hug or teasing smile.

“Is that why you’re alone in the dark, drinking?” she asked, heading toward the fridge for a bottle of water. She needed something to ease the dry panic in her throat. Gulping, she noticed two empty beer bottles sitting on the kitchen counter.

“I felt like having a beer,” he said defensively, aggressively.

“Looks like more than
a
beer to me.”

“So you’re my mother now?”

Ignoring her pulse’s bump of irritation and worry, she flipped on the track lighting over the sofa. “What’s wrong?”

He looked away from her and resumed pacing. “Nothing.”

“Are you concerned about the practice session?”

“No.”

“Is everything okay with your family?”

“Yes.”

“Are you in pain?”

Pausing briefly in his restless movement, he shook his head. “No.”

“Then it must be about Nicole.”

He ground to a halt, then drank from the bottle. “I…How did you—”

“I saw her leave.”

“But she left hours ago.”

“I know. I walked around a while before I came
back. I couldn’t—” She cleared her throat as images of what might have gone on between Bryan and his ex danced cruelly through her mind.

Oh, but isn’t that moment the reason you realized you loved him?

Sure. Yippee.

Since that was also the moment she realized how much he could hurt her, how much of him obviously still belonged to Nicole, she couldn’t find the hope to be positive.

“I needed to get my thoughts together before I came back,” she managed to say.

“Yeah, I can understand that.” Suddenly looking depressed instead of angry, he sank onto the sofa and pushed his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

Her hand clenched around her water bottle. “What are you sorry about?”

“For jumping down your throat when you walked in. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”

“Why?”

“For letting her tempt me.”

Darcy’s legs trembled. She remembered having the same reaction to a group of firefighters barely a month ago.

But she wasn’t going to faint. Not now. No way.

She’d faced her own past; she could face Bryan’s, as well. And even though she realized he held her heart in his hands, she wanted to trust him with it. She wanted to fight for them.

Would he really betray her with the woman who’d broken his heart? Who’d hit his confidence like the suddenness of a bomb exploding? Who was a constant reminder of all he’d lost?

Not now. No way.

She set her water aside and crossed to him. He stood as she approached and yanked her into his arms. “Dammit, Darcy. I’m supposed to be over all this.”

Pressing her face against his neck, she drew in the scent of his cologne’s warm cedar fragrance, welcoming her into his embrace like a comforting blanket. “Yeah. Let me know when that happens. I’d like to join you.”

“Nothing happened,” he said, squeezing her tight.

She leaned back and studied him. “Nothing, huh?”

His gaze darted away, and when he looked back at her, his eyes were clear and focused. “She…she made an offer.”

“And you wanted to accept.”

“Yeah.”

Her stomach dropped, and she wiggled her way out of his arms. “I need to go.”

“Please don’t.” He grabbed her by her wrist. “I wanted to accept for a
second.
I wanted her to regret leaving me. And she does. Or so she says.”

A shiver of fear went through Darcy’s body. “Does she? So you dived into the beer to celebrate?”

“No.” He tugged her down to sit beside him on the sofa. “No.” He set his beer bottle on the side table. “I
was confused because I didn’t know how to tell you. How to explain. I’m furious at myself for being tempted. For forgetting, even for a second, that she’s the enemy.”

“Because she left you for another man or because that other man is a member of the Baker family?”

“Both.”

She closed her eyes briefly and fought to accept the idea that personal and racing issues blended. The rivalry with the Bakers had started long before she arrived, and she wasn’t likely to affect any change.

But her concerns were personal at the moment, and she couldn’t care less about GRI, trophies or championships. Her heart was on the line. Her heart, which had jumped with such fear when she’d seen Nicole slip out of Bryan’s motor home that she’d darted out of sight and run away from him and her feelings.

Maybe I should have kept running.

But, no, even as that thought raced through her mind, she pushed it away. She was done trying to escape from pleasure and pain. She was constantly proving to people how strong she was physically—challenging every available male to a push-up contest came to mind in particular—and it was time to prove her strength in other ways.

It was time to let her love for her husband rest in peace. It was time to leave the past behind and take a risk. Her love for Bryan, which felt so fresh, new and scary was already being tested.

But she could handle that, too.

She swallowed the tears clawing their way up her throat. “So, on some level, you still…want her. But what does she mean to you? What do you feel for her?”

He slid his thumb across the back of her hand. “I wish I could say nothing. I’d
hoped
she meant nothing.” His gaze flicked to hers. “But after tonight, I have so many regrets.”

She wanted to shudder, but refused to give in. “Okay.”

“I should have been a better husband—more attentive, more sensitive. But, in a way, I’m also glad I wasn’t.” His eyes burned brightly blue. “Because I never would have met you.”

Her breath caught; her heart thumped like crazy.

“I don’t want her.” He cupped her cheek. “I want you.”

Studying his handsome, so familiar and cherished face, a smile tugged at her lips. She leaned toward him. “Same goes.”

Their mouths met, and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, the relief that he’d seen through whatever scheme his ex had cooked up made her light-headed.

And while his confession was a balm for her heart, she didn’t believe for a moment that everything was all roses, champagne and proposals. Certainly neither of them were ready for that.

But they were ready for the next step.

Gripping his hand in hers, she pulled back and rose. “I’ve spent the night in your bed twice. I was alone both times. I’d like to try it with you there this time.”

He searched her gaze. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Tucking her against his side, he led her down the hall.

A
S LIGHT PEEKED THROUGH
the blinds in the bedroom, Bryan slid his hand across Darcy’s bare stomach and pulled her back against him. “Morning,” he mumbled next to her ear.

“Already?” She pressed her face into the pillow. “Make it stop.”

“No early-morning jog?” he teased. “There’s a lake.”

“No jogging. I’m exhausted. You kept me up half the night.”

He kissed her shoulder. “Want me to help wake you up?”

She turned her head. Sparks of desire were evident in her golden eyes. “You could do that.”

He proceeded to show her just how happy he was to accommodate her needs.

A
FTER DRAGGING HIMSELF
out of bed and sliding on a pair of jeans, Bryan headed into the kitchen to start the coffee. If Darcy was going to be the lazy one, somebody had to get breakfast and their day started.

With the coffee brewing, he pulled the egg carton
out of the fridge and reflected on how precious these stolen moments with Darcy were. His crazy life. How long could he have lasted before he burned out? How long before his family’s company became a burden instead of a joy?

Darcy had certainly changed him.

But was he good for her?

He dragged her all over the country and rarely spent any time with her, other than during meals and exercise. He was moody and stressed about Cade’s quest for a championship. They’d been testing so often during the early part of the week, he hadn’t taken her out much when he was home.

And while he was thrilled she’d spent the night in his bed, he worried that he’d somehow pushed her into a decision she wasn’t ready for. Would she have guilt and regrets? Would she think of her husband? Compare Bryan to him?

He’d been honest with her about Nicole, but had he been wise in confessing his brief temptation? Had Darcy slept with him to prove she was the one he desired?

The possibilities made his stomach clench.

“Can’t even think positively for ten minutes, can you, mate?” he muttered to himself as he pulled out the omelet pan.

When he walked into the bedroom a bit later with coffee and a cheese omelet, she was still lying in bed, her eyes closed. “Do I smell food?”

Obviously not asleep, though. He sat on the edge of the bed, and she dragged herself up, pushing her tangled hair out of her eyes. “At your service.”

She reached for the plate and mug, taking a sip before setting the coffee on the bedside table. “Do I get sexy early wake-up calls and breakfast in bed every morning from now on? Clearly, I should have jumped you long before last night.”

Though it was wonderful to see her relaxed and happy, he couldn’t let his doubts linger. “Do you feel okay about last night?”

Her eyes danced. “I’m much better than okay.” She fed him a bite of eggs. “Gee, Bryan, you could flatter yourself a little.”

“I’m glad I can, but I was thinking more about how you feel emotionally.”

“We’ve had sex and now you want me to talk about my
feelings?
Good grief, you’d better get out there with your testosterone buddies ASAP, or they’ll revoke your man card.”

“They probably would.” He met her gaze and made sure his stare was serious. Was she avoiding talking about how she felt on purpose? “We waited a long time to take this step, and I want to be sure you’re okay with your decision.”

Setting aside her plate, she linked her hand with his. “I’m fine. Truly. No regrets.”

“So you didn’t sleep with me because of what I told you about my ex?”

She angled her head. “Huh?”

Her simple confusion was a great relief, but he needed to be sure. “I told you I wanted you, but did you need me to prove it?”

Golden stars sparked in her eyes. “I only needed you to touch me. If there was any proving going on, it was on my part. I wanted to show you how much you mean to my life. I wanted to finally put the past behind me.”

He searched her gaze. “And have you?”

“I have.”

Kissing her softly, he closed his eyes to enjoy the relief and promise of her words. “I’m glad,” he said when he leaned back. “My jealousy over your deceased and heroic firefighter husband was getting to be kind of pathetic.”

“His memory will always be important to me, but you have absolutely no reason to be jealous.”

“I’m the first since him, though, right?”

“You are.”

“And you didn’t think about…” he trailed off, feeling stupid for bringing up the subject, but as long as they were letting go of the past, they might as well really do it.

“No.” Smiling, she laid her hand on his bare chest. “There’s plenty of you to concentrate on.”

“I have to keep up with you and those push-ups, don’t I?”

She picked up her plate and offered him another
bite of omelet. “I’m not challenging you anymore. You’ve beaten me the last three times.”

“Remember when I could barely do five?”

“Sure.” She sipped her coffee, then handed the mug to him. “It was only a few months ago.”

“It seems longer. It’s weird imagining my life without you.”