Winter of the Wolf (43 page)

She gave him a laughing look. “My friends used to talk about their boyfriends. One was a ‘breast’ man. That’s so you.”

“True.” From an after-climax softness, the nipple started to pay attention to his touch. Tiny bumps gathered, and the peak lengthened.

Eyes closing, she sighed like a contented pup with a ful stomach. “What happens now?”

“We’l rest for a bit.” Zeb sucked on her finger. “Then I want to see if you’re as good at licking Shay.” Her eyes popped open, and she stared at Zeb in disbelief.

“More?”

“Fuck, yes.”

Shay recognized his brother’s expression and laughed inside. A male’s instinct to give a female his seed was as strong as her heat. Shay ran his finger down Breanne’s flushed cheek. He had to admit: when the male cared, that instinct grew until it was impossible to fight.

* * *

* * *

An hour or so later, Bree was back, sitting on a barstool in the tavern. After the guys had kissed her as if trying to brand her, Shay had pushed Zeb to the end of the bar, leaving her stranded like a mouse in a roomful of cats.

“I brought you a fresh beer.” Calum set a glass down in front of her.

The beer was cold, and the light bite teased her tongue and soothed her dry mouth. Too much panting. Screaming.

She frowned. And
begging
. Zeb realy, realy liked to tease.

She took another sip, trying to concentrate on the taste. It didn’t help. In despair, she felt her body waken again. The heat rose, demanding satisfaction.

Without thinking, she turned toward where Shay and Zeb sat, their eyes on her.
My Shay. My Zeb
. But they said mating with her again tonight was against the rules of the Gather. Stupid shifters and their stupid rules.

God, they were big. Wonderful. Gorgeous. And she loved them. Both of them. So, so much. She wanted them to touch her, to take her, to—

“Breanne.” Calum tapped the glass on the bartop. “Look at me.”

The power in his voice broke the hold. She shook her head to clear it and frowned at him. “Calum?” No humor showed in his face. “Breanne, you are perilously close to forming a bond with Zeb and Shay. Be perilously close to forming a bond with Zeb and Shay. Be certain it is what you desire.”

I love them
. “Don’t they want me?” Lord, didn’t that sound pitiful?

“That’s not the problem. You need to understand that the oathbound cannot lifemate.” His brows drew together.

“Humans have priests? Those who live apart, promised to your God? Shifters who are vowed to Herne can live with someone, but the final step—lifemating—cannot happen.” Wel, Shay sure wasn’t celibate. Her smile faded as she caught Calum’s point. “Since Shay is committed to Herne, he can’t…marry.”

“Exactly.” He patted her hand. “Usualy, the oathbound are older and past the time they would lifemate, or they’ve lost their mate. I’ve not run into this dilemma before. I don’t want you to get hurt, Breanne.”

Too late. She puled her hand away and gave him a stiff nod. “So, I should…”

Calum tipped his head toward the shifters who had ranged around her in hopes of attracting her attention. “Choose from those who can give their hearts or, at least, divert you from wasting your life on two males you can never possess.” Her heart ached, but she saw the wisdom. Shay had said they’d leave Cold Creek. He certainly hadn’t made her any promises. She involuntarily glanced at him, and everything inside her melted. Skin taut over his high cheekbones, he inside her melted. Skin taut over his high cheekbones, he stared at the bartop with the same tortured expression as Zeb’s. Her fingers remembered how thick and soft his hair felt.
His jaw will be scratchy now and
… She slid off the stool.

Calum leaned forward and grasped her upper arm.

“Breanne.”

“Oh. Right.”

“I’m ordering them out to patrol. Find a male here who pleases you.”

They’d leave her? Desolation swept through her, removing every trace of heat. Nonetheless, she turned and looked at the men around her. Tal and short. Dark and pale. Older, younger, and just her age. She forced her lips into a smile.

Even without looking, she knew when Zeb and Shay left the bar.

* * *

The moon slowly crossed the sky toward the western mountains. Zeb’s feet hurt—he didn’t usualy patrol in human form for an entire night—but neither he nor Shay were wiling to risk what their animal instincts would do.

Now it was time to check in with the Cosantir and take Bree home.

She’d have mated with other males. He’d smel someone She’d have mated with other males. He’d smel someone else’s scent on her. Zeb’s jaw tightened, and his teeth ground together as he fought for control.

But she’d finished her first Gathering, leaving her free to make her choices. Even if they couldn’t lifemate with her, they could ask her to come with them when they left.

And their time here wouldn’t be much longer. He’d been feeling a deep inner pul, tugging him east. The God’s cal.

Would Bree want to stay with them? Fuck, they had so little to offer her.

With Shay behind him, he walked into the tavern. In the swirling scents, he caught Bree’s unique fragrance…and the lack of any arousal. Shay’s frown mirrored his as they walked to the bar.

The Cosantir was talking to the old bookstore owner. He motioned them over. “Cahirs.”

Zeb concentrated on Calum, not looking elsewhere. Fuck, his control had never been this shaky. If he saw a male touch Bree, he might easily destroy the tavern.

“You been stuck down here al night?” Shay asked Calum.

“No, Alec monitored the Gathering for a while. I came down to speak with you before Thorson takes over.” Zeb nodded to the bookstore owner. The werecat was old, but Zeb’d think twice before taking him on. Good choice to supervise the Gathering, and Calum would have a chance to join his brother and their mate. “Speak to us about what?” to join his brother and their mate. “Speak to us about what?” Zeb asked.

Calum mouth flattened to an unhappy line. “Breanne has refused every single male in the room. She’s not afraid. She simply has no interest.”

Zeb felt as if the Cosantir had stopped his heart. “Only bonded females act that way.”

“Indeed.”

Zeb met Shay’s gaze, seeing his concern. Even if she’d bonded to them, they couldn’t complete it. Couldn’t lifemate with her. “What wil this do to her?”

“With sufficient distance, her tie to you wil eventualy fade.

Otherwise…” Calum frowned. “I’m not sure.”

“By the God,” Shay said in a hoarse voice. “What have we done?”

“You’re not to blame for this,” Calum said. “Perhaps if I’d puled her away from you when we learned she was a shifter, it might have been prevented. Then again, she might have died with her first trawsfur, having no one in whom she could trust.”

Shay’s voice was tight. “We should never have mated with her.”

“Maybe.” Thorson’s voice was as scarred as his arms and face. “But if you hadn’t, she’d be in here, deep in heat and panicking. She’d have no ties to anyone to keep her from going feral.”

going feral.”

Fuck. Zeb went rigid. Daonain with no loved ones to draw them back to human form could slide into madness, living only in their animal form, unable to return. Twisted inside, preying on their own community. Ferals had spawned most of the grisly legends that terrified the humans.

Thorson nodded. “You do the best you can. Only Herne knows al the trails in the forest.”

“What should we do?” Shay asked Calum. “We’d planned to ask her to stay with us, but I can’t lifemate her.”

“Seamus, she’s attached already. It’s not a true bond—

not without the Mother’s blessing—but you can’t change it.” Zeb bowed his head, anger and grief roiling inside him.

He’d have stayed miles away from her if he’d known. Yet, as Thorson said, perhaps that would have been a worse choice.

She was alive.

He and Shay wanted her with them. Even if they couldn’t lifemate her, she’d have al their love, their caring. Would it be enough?

* * *

The fire in the bedroom woodstove crackled happily, sending welcome warmth through the room. Bree snuggled closer in Zeb’s arms. Shay pressed against her back, his arm heavy over her hips. Her breasts were sore and tender, her pussy even more so, and that other spot, her anus ached. She pussy even more so, and that other spot, her anus ached. She felt her face heat. That had been amazing.

Gathers aren’t that bad after al.

After Shay and Zeb had brought her home, they’d made love to her again, this time so tenderly that she’d cried. How could she ever survive their leaving? She pushed the thought away. Live for today.

“Breanne,” Shay said. “Let’s talk a bit.” Lying on his side, Shay raised up on his elbow. On her right, Zeb slid back and mirrored his position.

Talk? That usualy meant a nasty revelation or an odd shifter law. She roled onto her back and looked at him.

When no laughter lit his eyes, dread ran a cold hand up her spine. “Wait.”

She grabbed the pilow on Zeb’s side of the bed, stacked it on hers, and squirmed until she was propped up with her head even with theirs. “Okay, tel me.”

“I don’t know how to say this.” The lines beside Shay’s mouth tightened. “You know I’m oathbound. Did you realize I can’t lifemate?”

It hurt. Hurt when she thought about it; hurt worse when he said it. “Calum told me.” To keep him from abrading her heart further, she did it herself. “I realize you’l leave when Herne cals you.”
I don’t like your arrogant God. Have I
mentioned that
? She thought she was holding up wel, until she saw Zeb’s gaze on her clenched fingers.

she saw Zeb’s gaze on her clenched fingers.

“I can’t see the trail we should folow, but Zeb and I decided you have a right to know everything. To decide for yourself.” Shay uncurled her fingers and wrapped his hand around hers. “We lo—” He stopped and started again. “We care for you. Both of us.”

The words made the blood dance in her veins like water down a rocky streambed. “Realy?”

Zeb took her other hand. “Fuck, yes.”

A spurt of laughter caught her. “So poetic.”

“We want you to stay with us. Live with us,” Zeb said.

Stay with them. Her heart lifted, soared into the sky—
yes
yes yes
—and then fel like a rock. “But…but you won’t stay here.” She swalowed hard. “You want me to go with you?”
Leave Cold Creek
? “And move every few months. You don’t have a
home
.”

She’d gone from foster home to foster home, school to school, never keeping friends, never knowing people with whom she had a history. To stay with the guys, she’d have to abandon her brand new friends and her budding business.

Her throat tightened.

And if she did make friends elsewhere… “You go where the helhounds are. Where shifters get kiled.” Even if she found other friends, they might get slaughtered. Like Nora.

Like Ashley.

“Aye.” Shay’s eyes were level. He knew what he was

“Aye.” Shay’s eyes were level. He knew what he was asking.

“You’d fight monsters.” Month after month, she’d be terrified, waiting to hear if they’d been kiled. If they’d been torn apart like Ashley.

“Yes.” Zeb’s eyes filed with pain. “Little female, we want you”—his mouth tightened as if he were trying not to say more—“but it’s not a happy way of life, especialy for a female.”

“And yet…” Shay kissed her fingers. “You care for us.”

“I do,” she whispered. Her heart felt swolen with pain.

“But I don’t know if I can do this.” Ash had caled her a homebody. Each move—during childhood and after—had ripped away pieces of her soul and left them behind. Could she survive that again?

Don’t ask this of me
.

But how could she let them leave when she might be with them? Tears pooled in her eyes as she scrambled off the foot of the bed. Her chest felt as if a giant oak had falen on her, crushing her ribs, bruising her heart.

“I don’t—” Her voice cracked, and she fled the room like the coward she was.

Chapter Thirty

Zeb leaned back against a tree, watching silvery undines swirl in the shalows. The mountain lake was turning an ominous gray as dark clouds filed the sky. A freshening wind whipped the tiny waves into white tips.

In wolf form, Shay lay on his bely, staring at the water.

His thoughts looked to be as ugly as Zeb’s.

Neither of them had wanted to talk about the wretched end to the night. He swalowed. Why the fuck had he let himself hope?

And what had they been thinking? Fuck, she’d just lost her best friend to a helhound, and they wanted her to undoubtedly see them suffer the same fate. He and Shay were the stupidest shifters ever birthed.

This morning, after Bree had retreated to the kitchen, cooking as if the world was about to end, Zeb had dragged Shay up to the lake. Somehow, they had to fix this for the little female. A few minutes ago, he’d come up with an idea.

He nudged the wolf lightly with his foot.

Shay snapped at him.

“Trawsfur, brawd. Time to talk.”

The wolf’s lip curled up as the wind ruffled his fur, but he shifted to human. Sitting up, he shivered and glanced up at the clouds. “We’re going to get wet.”

“Life’s tough. We need to talk about Bree.”

“Life’s tough. We need to talk about Bree.”

“I know.” Shay’s face tightened. “By the God, there’s nothing I want more than for her to be with us. But we shouldn’t have asked.”

Zeb nodded. He’d never seen her more miserable.

“You haven’t taken a vow, a bhràthair. You could stay—

brothers don’t always live together. You deserve someone to love as much as she does.”

The blow was brutal. Shay didn’t want to remain brothers? Then Zeb saw the desolation in his eyes—stupid, self-sacrificing mongrel. “There’s so fucking much wrong with your idea that I don’t know where to start.”

“Like what?”

Zeb held up a finger. “She loves us both, not just me.” Second finger. “We’re brothers. Only death breaks that bond.” Third finger. He hadn’t planned to mention this, hoping Shay wouldn’t notice. “I can’t lifemate her any more than you can.”