Paul wanted that too—well, he wanted it in general. What Kyle had rattled off was pretty much Paul’s laundry list of the things he wanted in a relationship. Which meant not only were they great together in bed, they had good odds of being right together out of it too.
So why had he pushed this away? Why did part of him want to push away now?
He needed to distract himself, and sex seemed a good way to do that. But when he tried to steal a kiss, Kyle wouldn’t let him. “I can’t do today again.”
Paul ran fingers across the front of Kyle’s scrubs. When Kyle still didn’t kiss him, Paul let out a heavy sigh. “I want to date you too. I’m worried I’ll fuck it up, but I’ll give it a try.”
“You won’t fuck it up.”
Now
Kyle’s lips met Paul’s. Briefly, a slow, electric brush of lips. “But right now, baby, I’m going to fuck
you
.”
Another sigh, this one dragging Paul under Kyle like a foot sliding into a shoe. “Sounds good to me.”
Chapter Nine
K
yle watched Paul’s eyes flutter closed, muscles go weak, body posture opening—all the signs of surrender. Which would be great, exactly what he wanted.
It was just that
he
was a jagged ball of nerves and doubt.
Sometimes he wished he had some kind of gay bestie or fruit fly like the movies, somebody he could head-shrink with over coffee. If he had that person, one of his first confessionals would be that while he wanted to be a top,
felt
he was one…the reality of topping a guy was a fuck of a lot harder than it should be. Which made him worry whether he was doing it wrong. Maybe he really wasn’t one. This would be the point where his mythological bestie would either tell him to get over himself or wince and say, “Well, to be honest…” and proceed to explain his issues.
He didn’t have that bestie. His sidekick was his twin, who while wonderful, had her limits in this sort of thing. His friends were the girls at work and a few guys from community college, and none of them wanted to discuss his complicated thoughts about sex. And none of them were here, right now, as he ran his thumb down Paul’s cheek, panic rattling through his lust.
Can I do this? Can I actually do this?
What if the reason he bolted last time was because I suck?
What if I suck again, this time so much it’s over before it starts?
Kyle swallowed his doubts as best he could and bent to press his lips to Paul’s neck.
The shudder this gesture made ripple through Paul did good things for Kyle’s confidence. He kissed the pulse point, tracing his tongue over the rapid flutter beneath Paul’s skin.
Paul went so boneless he started to slide down the wall.
Catching him by the elbows, Kyle kept up the kisses while his brain raced ahead to sort out where they should move this make-out session to. Bed? Couch? A kitchen chair? To the floor right here?
He was overthinking this. He should just follow his gut. Except right now his gut was mostly frozen, throwing up its hands helplessly when Kyle poked at it.
Punting, he trailed kisses to Paul’s ear. “Where should I take you, baby?” He winced inwardly, the endearment feeling a little off. He sucked on Paul’s lobe to distract him from noticing. “Should we go to your room? The couch? Your kitchen table?”
He’d meant that last one as a joke, but though Paul murmured, “Wherever you want,” it was crystal clear Paul got off on the suggestion of being done while laid out in the kitchen. Which…hot.
Do you really have the chops to pull that off?
His gut yanked a blanket over its head at the question.
Kyle pushed past the fear and dug deep into his reserves for bravado. Made
mmm-hmm
and other approving, wickedly suggestive grunts as he hooked an index finger in Paul’s belt loop and led him into the darkened kitchen. Slipped a hand into Paul’s waistband and scanned the table in question over his shoulder as he made more love to Paul’s neck. It looked pretty sturdy. Mostly clean too, just a little bit of mail and a disheveled newspaper. Kyle could all too easily imagine Paul laid out across it. Naked, heels braced against the edge, knees open wide. Cock red and resting on his thigh, balls heavy and swinging above a puckered, flexing hole.
Oh, but he hoped Edna slept like the dead.
Now it was Kyle who shuddered, biting on his bottom lip before turning to Paul and giving his mouth the same treatment. The wave of lust washed over the fear, and he cupped Paul’s erection through his jeans.
“Strip,” he demanded as he pulled back, breathless and hard as a rock. “Take off your clothes.” He drew a chair away from the table and collapsed into it, not taking his eyes off Paul. “Slowly.”
Paul didn’t hesitate. If he was nervous, he hid it well. The more direction he got, the calmer he seemed to be. He unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it away to reveal a long-sleeved thermal tee. Skintight, it outlined Paul’s body like an invitation.
Here are his biceps, all meaty and toned. Take a look at the pecs too. Nipples already hard. Not super-sculpted abs, but check out the sides of his ribs. Good handholds here. Also, don’t miss the taper to his package. You’ll want to lick this later.
Crossing his arms, Paul caught the hem in his fingers and drew the shirt slowly upward.
Spreading his knees open, Kyle motioned impatiently. “Get over here.”
Paul obeyed, stepping between the vee of Kyle’s legs.
Kyle’s gaze was fixed on the bulge of Paul’s jeans. “Undo the button. Then put your hands on the back of your head.”
Paul did. The motion made his pecs stand out, pebbled nipples rising. Made those unbuttoned jeans hang lower on his hipbones. Kyle ran his hand over the fur of Paul’s chest, purring in approval. God, he was so fucking pretty. Kyle traced his thumb down the line from Paul’s abdomen to his pubic bone, kneading gently into the dark blond thatch of hair.
He drew Paul forward by his jeans and licked the same line his thumb had traced.
Paul quivered, and Kyle nipped his soft skin. “Hush. Hold still while I eat you up.” Paul quivered more, and Kyle swatted his butt playfully.
Paul stilled—all but his ass, which pressed
oh so slightly
into Kyle’s hand.
Groaning, Kyle kneaded Paul’s ass. Then slapped it again.
Paul gasped and pushed into the slap once more.
The last dregs of fear rolled out of sight, packed away to make room for Kyle’s desperate, blinding need to fuck this man. “Let me unwrap you, honey.” He pulled the jeans down, taking the briefs with them. The fur of Paul’s ass brushed his fingers as the hard length of his cock bobbed a scant inch before Kyle’s face.
The scent of dick filled the air, musky and sharp. Kyle stared at it as he ran his hands over the round, soft flesh of Paul’s backside. Nice and fat. He remembered the way this thing felt in his ass. He stared at the slit and thought about sticking his tongue into it. Fucking the hole open as he jacked the shaft. Tugging on those
seriously
badass balls, which were hanging heavy and low with their load.
He leaned forward to take the tip into his mouth, and as his lips slid over the glans, he looked up and saw Paul staring down at him hungrily, with his hands on the back of his head.
Kyle hummed as he took the first inch into his mouth, still staring up at Paul. He wrapped his arms around Paul’s hips, taking hold of the meat of his ass with both hands, kneading gently while he bobbed languidly on his cock. The smell of Paul—sex, sweat and denim—filled Kyle’s nose as he stuffed his mouth full of cock and ground his fingers into firm ass. All the while Paul held still obediently.
Doubt surfaced briefly as Kyle tried to decide what he wanted Paul to do—straddle his legs? Lay on the table? Bend over it? Did he want to eat cock, or ass?
Both
. But which first?
He decided to start with what he already had going. With the wind howling and making the duplex shake, Paul trembled in Kyle’s grip as a teasing blow job became serious business. Kyle drew that fat cock into his mouth until it tickled the back of his throat and he could bury his nose in the wiry blond hair of Paul’s groin. He hummed and sucked hard as he withdrew, rolling his tongue around the shaft until Paul’s knees wobbled.
When they wobbled a second time, Kyle popped off Paul’s cock with a wet smack, trailing his hands up the sides of his lover’s body before leading him to the table and pushing him onto it. The metal groaned but held as Kyle arranged Paul the way he liked: knees up, arms folded back to open his body. He ran his hands over Paul, who was quivering and hard for him, arching into his touch.
“God, but I love this.” Kyle’s voice was rough, almost raw, and he couldn’t stop stroking Paul, except when he paused to tug at his cock or roll his nipples between his fingers. “I want to tie you down and spend an hour oiling every inch of you, then just sit here and stare. Blindfold you so you don’t know what I’m doing to you. Take a picture of you and pull it out when I’m on break at work. Make you get on your knees for me, spread open and waiting for me to fuck you.”
Paul met Kyle’s gaze. “You…could.”
Kyle’s head spun as all his blood rushed to his dick. “Which part?”
“All of it.”
Kyle took a step forward so the bulge in his scrubs rubbed against Paul’s balls.
Damn. Hot. Damn.
Need throbbed from a hard, swelling point behind Kyle’s balls. “I could fuck you. Here on your table. Right now.”
Paul’s smile was a delicious cocktail of shy, sly and utterly debauched as he used his hands to draw his knees up higher, open them wider. “Take the picture first.”
Hands shaking, Kyle pulled his phone out of his pocket. He’d taken pictures of hookups before, but this was
Paul.
His boyhood crush. The guy he wanted for so much more than a hookup. He stared at Paul’s beautiful, splayed body through the screen. The view was shadowed, though, until he leaned over to the stove to turn on the light above the burners. It cast Paul in a soft, almost angelic glow.
He snapped the picture.
He took another one, closer in. He zeroed in on that fat cock, pinching the slit to make it open and weep precome. He got a picture of Paul’s puckered hole, then left briefly to rifle through his duffel and come back with lube and condoms. Paul flinched at the cold, but he flexed to welcome Kyle’s finger inside.
Kyle pushed in slowly. Snapped another picture.
It was hot, seriously hot, taking photos of himself fingering Paul Jansen. But what he wanted, he realized, was a picture of Paul’s face.
Paul’s face while Kyle fucked him.
Withdrawing his finger, he stared down at Paul. The scent of musk hung in the air, wafting off Kyle’s hand as well as from Paul’s upturned ass flexing eagerly before him. The assault on his senses made Kyle hard even as his belly clutched in nerves he couldn’t sort out while he took in the gorgeous vista of Paul Jansen naked and waiting, laid out on his kitchen table.
I want this so much. More than I want anything else in the world.
He tried to get back into the heat and frenzy of the moment, but he couldn’t. Oh, he was stiff as iron, and he shook with need as he suited up. But lust didn’t drive him. Carnal desire was little more than a mist around a bone-deep wanting, an ache emanating from Kyle’s soul. He breached the tight ring of Paul’s ass with his heart spilling over. Camera forgotten, he pulled at Paul’s torso, urging him to push up from the table and bring his mouth into kissing range. Paul obeyed, lost on a haze of his own need, but he went soft when Kyle kissed him tenderly.
“Don’t run from me.” Kyle bit gently on Paul’s bearded chin, sucking at the bristly hair. His cock had barely breached Paul, stalled in that initial push of discomfort. Kyle didn’t withdraw and didn’t press forward, only wrapped a hand behind Paul’s neck. “Never again.”
Eyes drifting closed, Paul nodded. He milked Kyle’s cock gently with his ass, seeking his lips in a kiss that was almost shy.
Kyle accepted the kiss, sealing their mouths together so he could swallow Paul’s sharp exhale as Kyle fucked abruptly into him. When Paul’s legs began to slip, Kyle used his free hand to urge one leg around his waist, and the other followed suit obediently.
It wasn’t the sexy fuck on the table he’d meant it to be. It wasn’t a display of how rough and slightly kinky he liked his sex. It wasn’t an illustration of how toppy he could be or how skilled he was at fucking. It was, despite his efforts to skirt this revelation, an unveiling of his heart.
Soon enough, the waves caught them up again. His thrusts turned rough. Paul let his head fall back and sank to his elbows as his torso became too heavy to hold up. Kyle shifted his grip to Paul’s hips, anchoring himself as he fucked harder, faster. As he came close to his climax, he fumbled for Paul’s cock and did his best to bring him along too.
“Come for me, baby.” Kyle bent forward to kiss skin he could reach, which turned out to be the center of Paul’s chest. “Come on.”
Paul quavered beneath him, sweaty and gasping. “H-harder.” His eyes blinked open slowly, almost shyly. “Fuck me harder.”
Fire erupted inside Kyle at the request. He let go of those hips and wrapped hands around Paul’s back, gripping his shoulders from behind, pulling him close as he snapped his hips, trapping Paul’s cock between them. Dug his fingers into Paul’s skin, thrilling at the way Paul melted into him. He pushed himself faster, no longer trying to be sexy or tough for Paul, but simply riding the heady rush of Paul’s submission, letting it unleash everything inside him.
He came almost without warning, erupting inside Paul with a sharp burst, fucking a few times after as he rode out the crest. Before lethargy could set in, he reached between them, grabbed Paul’s cock and tugged him until he came too, three wild hot spurts against Kyle’s uniform and Paul’s naked chest.
This was the photo he wanted—Paul sloe-eyed and sated, sweat dripping from the curls at his brow. Well-fucked and beautiful.
Kyle didn’t take a photo. He caught those pale pink lips in his teeth, forced them open with his tongue and kissed Paul with the want and ache that still burned inside him.
Paul was nervous about this thing with Kyle, but he told himself it would be okay.
God knew it felt good. Kyle laid Paul on the table after they fucked and cleaned him with a warm washcloth. Brought him a pair of sweatpants and socks, touched his ass and lower back a lot as they puttered through their before-bed routines. Kissed him when they were in bed, trailed his mouth down Paul’s abdomen to lick his cock and suck on his balls. Paul couldn’t get it up again all the way, and Kyle couldn’t quite either, but they frotted and kissed and fumbled in the sheets until by unspoken agreement they ended in a tangled embrace, Paul behind Kyle. They were still tangled when Paul woke, blinking in the early-morning darkness until he realized the buzzing he kept hearing was his phone on the nightstand.
It was Arthur. Paul padded into the kitchen to answer. “What is it?” he asked in a rough whisper.
“Busted pipe at the café. The plumber can’t make it from Eveleth, and they wanted to know if we could give it a patch job before the morning rush. I’m going to bring Gabriel in with me on the Ski-Doo. Can he crash at your place for a few hours? He wants to open the library, but he hasn’t eaten or showered or anything yet, and I don’t want to make two trips out here.”