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Jonah swallowed and waited, which must have been the right thing to do because Evan’s fingers caressed and soothed the back of Jonah’s head, letting him relax to a more natural position. His thumbs rubbed along Jonah’s cheeks to his jaw, pulling his mouth open, which Jonah was only too willing to go along with.

Finally, he got the weight of Evan’s cock on his tongue, the feel of Evan sliding over his lower lip, the soft sponge of the head rubbing on the roof of Jonah’s mouth. God, it felt like he’d needed it forever. And the taste, Evan’s skin, the water from the shower, the bitter slide of precome, Jonah wanted to drink it all down, fill his throat with every last drop from Evan’s balls.

Evan had loosened his grip enough that Jonah could move, and between his mouth and Evan’s hips they found a rhythm. Jonah had to do a fast gulp and suck to keep the air going, and Evan groaned every time Jonah’s tongue and throat moved in time with a thrust. He was lost in it, lost in the quick exchange of cock and breath, everything slick with water and spit and those oily drops coming from the tip.

He wanted, no, he
needed
to reach for his own demanding dick, the pressure building from nothing more than Evan fucking Jonah’s mouth, but he didn’t want to lose his concentration. His jaw ached, and Evan’s thumbs were there, stroking away the pain, sliding up into the hollows of Jonah’s cheeks as Evan’s dick filled the space.

“God, that’s sweet, babe. You going to swallow it all for me? Take everything I give you?”

Jonah’s throat groaned his answer.

“Don’t move.”

Jonah couldn’t. Not with Evan’s hands locked around his head. Evan’s hips started rolling faster, pushing him deeper and deeper, and there was nothing, had never been anything but this cock in his throat, throbbing and swelling and stealing his air as his mouth flooded with come. Evan kept fucking into him and Jonah did his best to swallow around the thick flesh, letting the heavy bitter spurts slide down his throat.

When Evan pulled out, it was rough, and he never let go of Jonah’s head, shifting his grip to pull at Jonah’s hair, while stuffing the fingers of his other hand in Jonah’s mouth.

“Suck me, and jerk yourself off.”

That first touch on his cock felt so good, it only took a few strokes before the edge was right there. Evan’s fingers rubbed on his tongue, sliding in all the spit and come Jonah was still swallowing back. He felt he should warn him, or ask him, or something and glanced up to find Evan, the Evan Jonah loved, with his soft eyes and that sweet smile.

“Go. Do it.”

It was all in his balls and his thighs, heat snaking around and around until the tension snapped and pulsed along the length of his dick, leaving him breathless and wrung out, head dropping onto his chest as he watched the last shot spurt forward. He was rubbing out the aftershocks when the hot water gave out and they both jumped.

Evan slipped out first and Jonah suffered under a freezing rinse before stepping out into the towel Evan offered.

“You okay?” Evan asked.

Jonah’s knees were still shaking, his throat and jaw ached like he had the flu and tonsillitis and a wisdom tooth extraction all in the same day, and he was freezing, his balls the size of shelled peas, but he’d live. “Yeah.”

“I have to run to work. It’s a busy week. Loads of stuff for First Night.”

First Night. The village-wide New Year’s Eve party in Saratoga. New Year’s Eve, which Jonah had kind of thought he was spending in New York.

Jonah nodded.

“Want to go out to dinner tonight?” Evan asked.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“I’ll be home before six.”

Evan was out of the house before Jonah pulled himself together enough to make it out of the bathroom.

* * *

Jonah loved working on school vacations. Doing IT was easier when there were no actual students or teachers in the buildings screwing with the computers. Schools should always be this peaceful. After lunch he got a call from the secretary, the older one, telling him he was needed in the main office right away.

The emergency turned out to be a bouquet of flowers addressed to Jonah, a huge bundle of bluish-purple orchids—which Jonah didn’t know until the secretary told him, with much motherly teasing. “We know it’s not your birthday yet. Open the card.”

Jonah held the envelope between his fingers. His first thought had been
2top4u
, but that was crazy since the guy didn’t know Jonah’s real name, let alone where he worked. None of his family or friends would send him something like this, which left Evan. But why?

“Do orchids symbolize something?” Jonah asked.

“Yes,” the younger secretary said. “Expensive.”

Jonah opened the card.
Sorry about this morning—Ev

What the hell was there to be sorry about?
Sex so hot Jonah wanted to do that again every morning for the rest of their lives? Was there something Jonah had done that made Evan think he owed him an apology?

* * *

Jonah tried really hard to find a shirt that didn’t look like he’d slept in it to wear to dinner, which turned out to be at that new Northern Italian place in Clifton Park. Evan wore jeans and a sweater, so Jonah found one that didn’t make him feel as if he was auditioning for some kind of extra in a beer and ski commercial.

Over wine and bruschetta, Jonah said, “You didn’t have to get me flowers.”

Evan leaned back in his chair. “You’re welcome.”

“No, I mean, thank you, but—you—I—”
Damn it
. Jonah had never had trouble talking to Evan before. “You didn’t owe me an apology for anything.”

“I had to leave in a hurry.”

Jonah paused in the act of scooping up some extra tomatoes onto his bread. “You’re apologizing because we didn’t cuddle after sex?”

Evan offered a half smile. “I didn’t want you to think I didn’t appreciate your efforts.”

As Jonah thought of Evan holding him, the way he’d taken control of not only Jonah’s orgasm this time but his breath, the heat started in his groin and flashed all the way up to his throat. He knew the skin in the V-neck of his sweater had to be bright red. Evan was staring at it. If he licked his lips, Jonah didn’t know if they’d make it through the entrées, let alone dessert.

Jonah chewed his bruschetta to give himself some cooling-off time, then said, “I’ve given you lots of blowjobs. Never got flowers before.”

“Was that what that was?” Evan put his forearms on the table. “Just a blowjob?”

See, that was the thing Jonah needed to know. Was this something Evan understood, knew how to do or was it a flukey thing? And how was Jonah supposed to figure that out or know that he could do the forever thing with Evan if Jonah needed this, and Evan was the sort of person who felt he owed flowers because a blowjob had gotten a little—a lot—rough. Jonah had wanted every second of that this morning, and more. He was afraid he wanted the whole thing, the leather and the chains and the guy with no name and the chaps.

And he just couldn’t see Evan doing that or being able to take him seriously if he did. Evan was all pressed khakis and shirts from the cleaners, and Jonah loved that Evan. Jonah loved the way Evan was kind of letting it slide a little and going wild with Jonah the past couple of days, but was that going to be enough?

Evan picked up his glass of Barolo and tilted it but didn’t drink it.

Jonah was already on his second glass. It was smooth and rich and Jonah had never heard of it, which made him extra glad Evan was the only one who’d seen the wine list with the prices.

Jonah finally answered Evan’s question. “A really hot blowjob.”

Evan glanced at him and took a sip of wine. “Uh-huh.”

“I wouldn’t mind doing that again.”

“Me either.” Evan used a spoon to load a piece of toast with the tomatoes. He lifted it in the center of the table, almost as if he were going to feed it to Jonah. He found himself leaning forward, but Evan brought the bruschetta to his own mouth, a half smile as he chewed, suggesting he’d known exactly what Jonah had been thinking.

Jonah had a flash of kneeling, head right below the table, his hands resting on his knees while the only bites of dinner were something fed to him. But he didn’t know who he expected to do the feeding.

This was getting crazy.

“Evan.” Jonah swallowed. He wanted to say it, really say it, but what if—and what if he got it and it still wasn’t enough? What if Evan looked at Jonah like he was some kind of freak for needing that?

Evan waited, fingers still on the stem of his wine glass.

“What did you think of it?”

“I liked it.” Evan leaned in close, words soft but audible. “I liked having control of you, Jonah. I liked having your mouth to use the way I wanted. So the question is, is that what you liked?”

“Yes.”

Evan nodded, and Jonah knew he was supposed to say more, explain it like Evan had, but Jonah couldn’t find a way to explain it and if he started blurting stuff out, he was afraid of what would come out of his mouth. About finding the rings and not knowing if he was ready and
2top4u
and, most of all that he never wanted to hurt Evan the way Paul hurt Kelly.

Jonah couldn’t have been happier to see the waiter with the entrées than if he were a starving contestant on
Survivor
.

There was a lot of business with the freshly grated cheese and the freshly ground pepper, restocking the bread bowl and refilling their wine glasses and water, and the moment evaporated into the garlic-scented air. Jonah felt safe until the waiter asked if they wanted dessert.

“Do you know what you want, Jonah?”

There was a lot more to Evan’s question than Jonah selecting the flourless chocolate cake. Evan ordered an espresso and biscotti and the waiter disappeared again.

“So have you figured out what you want yet?” Evan asked.

Jonah finished off his wine. “I’m getting there.”

“Well, I think I did okay with your birthday present.” Evan reached back and for a second Jonah was terrified that this was it. He knew Evan would never have tortured Kelly by asking Jonah back in Worchester, but now, dinner, wine, flowers—

Evan handed Jonah an envelope. “I hope you haven’t made other plans.” Evan winked.

Since his attention had been on something else entirely, Jonah thought he did a good job with his surprise over the trip to Manhattan. And his delight was completely genuine.

“Oh my God. Finally. Thank you. You know how much—”

“Yes, but something always got in the way. You’re welcome.” Evan leaned across the table and kissed him.

“I can’t wait. How did you manage to get—”

“Luck and some connections from my modeling days. And in case you missed the date, we leave the day after tomorrow.”

Jonah had to get up and come around to hug him. “Thank you.”

Evan stood to meet him. “I told you I’d do anything for you, babe.”

Chapter Nine

Jonah put his head back against the swaying seat on the train and tried not to puke. This whole travel sickness thing might be one of the reasons he’d never made it down to the city, but it wasn’t the only reason he felt like heaving.

He’d contacted
2top4u.
And if Jonah found the guts to actually go through with it, he was meeting him tonight.

After dinner, Jonah had been more convinced than ever that he was running out of time. And instead of that conversation making things better between them, so that Jonah knew Evan liked sex like that and Evan knew Jonah liked it like that, there wasn’t any
that
to be had over the next two days to help Jonah know whether this could be what he wanted.

He’d tried to get frisky in the car after dinner, offered a little road head, but Evan had turned him down—not only then, but at home too with a too-full-of-dinner excuse. The next day, it had been that they had to pack, Evan pointing out, “Trains aren’t like me driving us somewhere, babe. They don’t wait.”

Not only that, but they did a lot of annoying swaying and vibrating. Jonah glanced around out of slitted eyes. How could people actually be reading or working on laptops with everything moving in three different directions?

“Here.” Evan slid back into his seat and handed Jonah a round white pill and a bottle of water. “A lady two cars up had some Dramamine.”

“Thanks.” Jonah waved off the water and worked the pill down with some spit.

Exactly how insane could he be to think of turning down Evan, who scoured a train of strangers trying to find him something to make him feel better? To actually think of going out to test this obsession he couldn’t get out of his head. If this were a TV show, he’d want to shoot his character for simple stupidity.

Thinking that reminded him of the idiotic argument Evan’s sisters and cousin had over that board game:
“They were broken up. Whatever fucking happens after a breakup is not cheating, no matter who the fuckee is
.”

Then Paul: “
I needed to be sure
.”

Jonah shut his eyes and tried to sleep.

* * *

Jonah tended to forget that Evan had lived and worked in Manhattan before moving up to Saratoga, and now that Jonah was faced with the reality of the frenetic pace and the fact that everyone but him knew where they were going, Jonah was grateful for Evan’s experience.

Steering them away from the big chain restaurants in Times Square, he took Jonah to a Chinese restaurant and managed to keep him from his standard of Kung Pao chicken or Beef Lo Mein. Jonah ate so many scallion pancakes he as sick as he had on the train. And the view from their hotel was amazing. The windows looked right over the stage in Times Square, the one Jonah had seen on TV every year since he could remember.

Despite a thorough, if cautious, search of Evan’s luggage when he was in the shower, Jonah couldn’t find that jewelry box. And at ten-thirty tonight, it was put up or shut up time, at least according to
2top4u
.

Evan switched off the basketball game Jonah hadn’t been watching in favor of staring out at the screens forty floors below them. “I’ve got big stuff planned for you tomorrow, babe. Why don’t we go to bed early?”