Wish Upon a Christmas Cake (8 page)

But it was over as soon as it had begun, and I had to swallow a sigh of disappointment.

‘Well done, Daddy,’ Jack patted Sam’s back. ‘It was probably easier to do that this morning now that she hasn’t got her clown make-up on.’

Sam’s lips twitched and I turned away quickly and muttered, ‘From the mouths of babes and all that.’

They followed me into the dining room and took their seats while Mum fluttered around them, piling their plates with bacon, eggs and grilled tomatoes and filling glasses with freshly squeezed orange juice and mugs with coffee. I sat next to Aunty Gina and she took my hand under the table and leant in close.

‘I saw that, you know.’

‘What?’ I tried not to blush again.

‘Under the mistletoe.’

‘Oh…it was just…his children, they uh… Where’s Rebecca? Hasn’t she got up yet?’

‘Don’t try to change the subject, Katie. I hung the mistletoe in the doorway this morning. I saw how he was looking at you last night and I thought it would give him the perfect opportunity.’

I stared at her. My funny, eccentric Aunty Gina, so reminiscent of my little old grandmother. Of course, Granny had wiry white hair and thick crow’s feet etched into her tiny face. But Gina’s eyes were lit with a similar wisdom, experience and mischief. Maybe she was right. Maybe not. But it was nice to imagine that she could be. That Katie Warham could really be the girl that Sam might choose to kiss under the mistletoe. Even after all that had happened.

But life’s not that easy or straightforward, right?

***

Once the breakfast things had been cleared away, we all gathered in the spacious hallway.

‘So who’s coming into Tonbridge?’ Karl asked as he slung an arm around Angelo’s shoulder. I watched as his boyfriend leant in to him, his gaze full of adoration.

‘I am!’ I waved my hand.

‘Not me,’ Dad said. ‘I’m spending the morning with the papers and a pot of coffee.’

‘I’m with your father on that one,’ Gina said. ‘And I still have some presents to wrap.’

‘Mum?’ Karl patted Esther’s arm.

‘Oh no, darling. I have far too much to do here.’

‘It’ll be a bit busy for the kids on Christmas Eve.’ Sam wrinkled his nose. ‘So I’d better stay here. They both hate crowded shops.’ He smiled but I could sense disappointment.

‘Well I have an idea,’ Mum spoke up. ‘I have lots of baking to do and I could really use some help.’

Oh no!
I should have offered to stay but I still had a few last-minute gifts to get. Especially now that Sam and the children were here. I ought to get them something. I glanced at Mum but she wasn’t looking in my direction.

‘What do you think, Jack and Holly? Can you make gingerbread men?’

She was asking the children so that Sam could go into town. Well done, Esther! Was she coming out on the other side of the menopause with a brand-new heart?

‘Yes please!’ Holly shouted. ‘Can I, Daddy?’

‘I don’t know. Are you sure, Esther? I mean, won’t they get under your feet?’

‘Not at all.’ Mum smiled and her eyes actually lit up. ‘I’d love to have their company.’

‘Can I make gingerbread soldiers instead?’ Jack asked.

‘If you like.’ Esther raised her eyebrows, probably wondering how she’d create that particular shape and if they’d have to have guns.

‘Okay. Thank you, Esther. I’ll owe you.’ Sam flashed Mum a smile and she waved her hand at him. She always did have a soft spot for him, and she was really disappointed when Sam and I split up. But she’d also said that in light of what had happened, it might be best for both of us.

‘No trouble at all, Sam. Come on then, team. Into the kitchen we go.’

‘I’ll just take Sportacus and Stephanie on a quick walk then I’ll be ready,’ Sam said.

‘We just need to brush our teeth,’ Karl said and he and Angelo headed upstairs. I tried not to notice how Karl patted Angelo’s backside. I hoped they weren’t off for a quickie. Dad and Gina went into the drawing room and I was left alone with Sam.

‘What’s up, Katie?’

‘Huh?’

‘You’re nervous.’

‘No I’m not.’

‘You are. You’re twisting your hair. You always do that when you’re nervous.’

‘Oh.’

‘So what is it?’

‘Sam?’

‘Yeah?’ He ran a large hand through his hair and I followed it, wishing I could trace its path.

‘Who are Stephanie and Sportacus?’

‘Come with me,’ he replied, then took my hand and pulled me towards the front door.

The air was clear and crisp outside and I took deep, greedy breaths of it, savouring how it chilled my throat and made my nose tingle. We skidded and slipped our way down the driveway until we got to the elm tree arch, then Sam took a sharp left onto a snow-covered path that I hadn’t noticed the day before. We walked around a bordering hedge, then a pretty building came into view. It was made of the same red brick as the manor but was much smaller. It had ivy growing up one side of its double front and smoke poured from the chimney, suggesting that a real fire burned invitingly inside.

‘This is the lodge,’ Sam said.

‘It’s cute.’
It’s not a puppy, Katie!

He was still holding my hand and the warmth of his palm seared into mine, making me almost forget about how cold the rest of me was. It felt so natural, so comfortable and so right. But that was silly. How could it be right? There was nothing between us except for memories.

When we reached the door, he unlocked it, then stood back to allow me to go in. He’d done that last night too. He was good looking and a gentleman; I’d forgotten so much. Or had I just not allowed myself to remember?

I walked into a cosy hallway and felt Sam right behind me. He moved forwards, his mouth just millimetres from my ear. His breath was hot on my neck. My skin tingled and I got that quivering sensation in my knees again.

‘Katie,’ he whispered. What was happening here? My brain went into overdrive.

‘Yes,’ I whispered in reply.

‘Creep across to the lounge.’ He pointed at an open doorway on the right. Why did we have to creep?

I did as he asked and when I got there I stopped and peered into the room. And heard snoring. Very loud and comical snoring. Sam gestured at a large dog bed in front of the fireplace and said, ‘That’s Stephanie and Sportacus.’ Two huge red and white British bulldogs lay on the rectangular cushion, their heads hanging off the side, their bodies mirroring each other as the fire crackled behind a heavy iron fireguard. Their thick pink tongues hung from their mouths and their bodies rose and fell in perfect unison.

‘Yours?’ I asked.

Sam nodded.

‘But why those names?’

‘Long story.’ He grinned.

‘I have time,’ I said. But my heart skipped a beat. What if it was painful for him to speak about? What if it was linked to his wife and he got upset and I ruined his Christmas because I’d prompted him?

‘Well basically, after I lost Maria, I…it was a very hard time and…’

Oh no, I’d messed up and now he was sad.

‘It’s okay.’ I placed a finger on his lips, then realised what I’d done and hastily removed it.

‘It’s fine, Katie. I’m not about to burst into tears or anything.’ Looking at his face, I wasn’t sure. He wore the expression of a man who’d suffered but was trying to keep going for the sake of his children. ‘Anyway, the short version is that I got the dogs six months ago to give me and the kids another focus. I thought it would be good for us. They got their names because Holly was obsessed with a programme called
Lazytown
.’

‘And they were names of the characters?’

He nodded. ‘I wanted to name them cool things after
Star Wars
characters or
Dexter
or even
Friends
at a push but Holly was insistent and it seemed silly to disappoint her. Of course, now that she doesn’t watch
Lazytown
any more…’ He shrugged.

I laughed with him. ‘Well they’re really sweet.’

‘Just watch out when they wake up though. Sportacus has a tendency to slobber and they don’t mind sharing their fur.’

And at that moment, the dogs stirred and noticed us and, boy, did I find out exactly how much damage two bulldogs can do to black leggings.

***

Half an hour later, after I’d changed and given my boots a thorough brushing, Sam and I stood in the barn waiting for Karl to unlock his shiny silver Freelander. I admired the brand-new vehicle that made me feel tiny as I stood next to it.

‘I wouldn’t fancy trying to park something that size, Karl,’ I called as my brother approached the barn.

He laughed. ‘Katie, with your lack of spatial awareness, I wouldn’t recommend it either.’

‘Hey!’ I frowned but giggled. Karl was right. I drove my treasured Beetle carefully, well aware of my own weaknesses but I loathed parking. Ann is amazing. She could park a lorry on a five-pence piece. But me? I had to find the empty spaces in supermarket car parks that were miles away from the store and as for parallel parking, forget it.

I climbed into the back seat next to Sam and buckled up while Angelo sat up front with Karl. I’d hoped that Sam would be in the back as I wanted the chance to talk to him some more.

‘Do you know, Angelo, it took Katie three attempts to pass her driving test?’ Karl asked as he reversed out of the barn then turned the vehicle and made his way down the driveway.

‘Was it really three?’ Sam raised his eyebrows. ‘I only recall it being two.’

I blushed. ‘I only told you about the first failure. It was so embarrassing. Everyone else in sixth form was sailing through in their lunchtimes and there I was going through it again and again. I blame that horrid examiner I had the first two occasions though.’

‘Wasn’t he ex-army or something?’ Karl adjusted his mirror and I met his eyes.

‘Yeah.’ I shivered. Even now, after all those years, the thought of that driving examiner with his short, sharp bark and his incessant headshaking every time I did something wrong was the stuff of nightmares.

Sam eyed me carefully. ‘You cold?’

‘Just recalling the horrors of the driving test.’

‘Well at least you never have to go through it again,’ Sam said and I nodded.

‘The third time was different though. I had a lovely examiner who put me completely at ease. I think that the second test was doomed the moment I saw that I had that military tyrant again.’

Sam shook his head. ‘I can’t understand it, personally. You were such a sweet little thing—’

‘Believe me, she was bad!’ Karl interrupted. But his words drifted over my head like smoke on the breeze. Sam had said that I was a sweet little thing. I bit my lip as memories started emerging and my heart fluttered. I couldn’t go there, couldn’t allow all that pain to resurface. Emotion was just too draining.

‘So how long until we get to Tonbridge?’ I asked my brother.

‘It’s about ten minutes now. Are you two happy to get the tree while we pick up Mum’s list of groceries? It’s as long as my arm. What on earth does she want basil for? And arnica cream?’

I glanced at Sam. Pick out a Christmas tree with him? Who knew Christmas Eve would be so exciting. We could walk around the market together, I would have him all to myself and it would be like we were a couple. Like the old times. My stomach flipped and I placed a hand over it. Sam was a widower with two kids now, not an eligible bachelor. He needed me to be a friend. I’d agreed with Karl that we’d give Sam and his children a good Christmas. If I didn’t stop drooling over him, I’d be unable to focus on our mission. Besides, after Harrison I’d sworn off men. I was focused on my career not on love. I eyed Sam’s big hand as it rested on his muscular thigh. Long, lean fingers with short clean nails. The forearm closest to me was exposed because he’d pushed his sleeves up, and I could see a dusting of black hair and freckles, freckles I’d traced with my finger thousands of times before. I had a sudden impulse to run my hand along his arm and to interlace my fingers with his. To find that familiar comfort and happiness.

Pull yourself together, Katie! This is ridiculous.

I hadn’t seen Sam in years and he’d matured like a fine wine. He was still every bit as polite, respectful and sweet as I remembered. He was evidently a good father. But he was also a grieving widower.

The last modifier turned down the heat. Sam didn’t need me swooning all over him. He needed a friend and so did I. My attempt at a relationship with Harrison had done some damage to my confidence but Sam’s whole world had been turned upside down. So yes, I would choose a tree with Sam but I would keep my distance and banish all silly musings from my mind. It was the way it had to be and it would be easy enough to do that, right?

Chapter 5

Karl parked in an open-air overflow car park, then we all made our way into Tonbridge town. The roads had been cleared by the steady flow of traffic but there was snow on the pavements and the buildings and the pretty old town looked as if someone had used a giant sieve to sprinkle icing sugar over everything. In the morning light, the snow sparkled and the buildings reminded me of those you see on Christmas cards when the manufacturers have been generous with the glitter.

Please let us have more snow later.
I offered up a silent wish. A white Christmas would be perfect, although it wasn’t something I could control and I knew that I had to accept that and try not to be disappointed if the clouds didn’t dump down more of the white stuff. But I couldn’t help thinking:
Snowed in with Sam…mmm.

‘Shall we split up then?’ Karl asked, snapping me out of my daydream. ‘Meet back at the car in two hours?’

‘Synchronising watches!’ Sam fiddled with his watch. ‘Regroup at eleven hundred hours.’

‘See you later. Have fun!’ Karl grabbed Angelo’s arm and they marched off, the perfect happy couple, wrapped up in their joy in each other and the promises that their joint future held. I watched them go, delight rushing through me at my brother’s happiness. When he’d first ‘come out’ to my parents and me in his early twenties, he’d confessed that he wasn’t sure he would ever find
the one
. By that point in time, he’d had several affairs with married men who were keen to keep a lid on their assignations, and was disillusioned with love. He’d had his share of heartbreak and, being an actor with his star ascending, he’d been advised by his agent to maintain his heterosexual facade. His agent had told Karl that if he was honest about his sexuality, then he might well end up restricting his career to gay roles. It wasn’t certain but it could happen. Karl’s love life also became restricted as a result because he couldn’t risk trusting just anyone. There was always a risk that they only wanted to be with him because of who he was or because they wanted to sell a story to the tabloids. Like most celebrities these days, he’d had a few narrow misses as well as one full-blown kiss and tell, although that one had been a woman, so we’d known it was utter bull. But now it seemed he had a partner he could trust and my heart was fit to burst for him.