Wish Upon a Christmas Cake (22 page)

Easier said than done.

Anyway, back to Mark.

I placed our mugs on a tray and filled them with steaming coffee. I knew that if I drank mine, I’d no hope of going back to sleep, but if I could help Ann out and make things better for her, then it was a small price to pay.

Back in the lounge, Mark was slouched on the sofa staring at his reflection in the blank TV screen. It reminded me of the day I’d returned home after Christmas and Ann had done exactly the same thing. I placed the tray on the coffee table and turned on one of the small side lamps. Ann and I had painted the room in a neutral cream but accessorised with purple and red. It made the room warm and cheerful, even in the glow of just one power-saving bulb. I took the chair which was at a right angle to the sofa and cradled my coffee mug in my hands.

‘Right, Mark. You want to tell me what’s going on?’

He reached for his coffee but knocked the mug and some of it sloshed over his fingers.

‘Ish hot.’ He frowned at the tray.

‘But it will do you good,’ I said. ‘Drink up.’

He nodded and raised his coffee to his lips. He sipped it tentatively and sighed with each swallow. ‘Thank you. Ish kind of yoush.’

‘Where did you go last night to get so drunk?’ I ran my finger around the rim of my mug.

‘Out…wisth work. Then clubbing.’ He bounced as a hiccup hit him and I bit my lip. Poor man, he was in such a state.

‘Went for drinksh and food then my collaeguesh shaid we should go to shtrip club.’

‘Oh?’ I raised my eyebrows, not certain that I wanted to hear all about that part of the evening.

‘In the club…wash good.’ He shook his head. ‘But…oh…’ He rubbed a fist into his eyes. ‘Whatever I do…however I try…I jusht can’t get
her
out of my head. Titsh…big titsh…hipsh…shaved pushies…asshes…’

‘Pushies and ashes?’ I frowned.

‘Fanshies and bumsh. Big bumsh…titsh…’

‘Okay, I get the picture.’ I waved my hand at him, not wanting him to go through the list of the female anatomy again. Especially not the
shaved pushies or the fanshies
. Laughter bubbled in my belly. It shouldn’t be funny; it was, in fact, quite tragic that he was even telling me this stuff, but sometimes when things are just so awful that they are hard to accept, I find I want to laugh. ‘Anyway, you were saying that you couldn’t get Ann out of your head?’

‘Yesh!’ He jabbed a finger at me. ‘I can’t.’ He shook his head and his bottom lip wobbled. He reminded me of a little boy about to cry. Again.

‘So you came here?’

‘Yesh. I need to shee her.’ He went to stand up but lost his balance and stumbled back into his seat sloshing coffee over his lap.

‘You’re going to need to wash those jeans,’ I said, thinking that he’d have to boil them to get the coffee and the brandy-soaked Christmas cake out of them.

‘Yesh.’ He placed his empty mug on the table then got up and promptly removed his dark denims. I averted my gaze and sipped my coffee.

‘I didn’t mean
now
, Mark.’

‘Burnt my legsh.’ He threw his jeans aside then slumped back onto the sofa with his knees spread. I held up a hand as I looked back in his direction, positioning it over his groin so that I couldn’t see anything offensive.

‘I’ll get you a wet towel.’ I returned to the kitchen area and soaked a clean tea towel in cold water, then handed it to him. He placed it over his thighs and sighed with relief.

‘Thanksh, Katie. You’re the besht.’

‘Yeah. Right. So…you went clubbing then decided that no one compared to Ann so you came here and used your key. Why now?’

‘I misshed her sho much. Shince Christmas hash been sho bad. New Year shucked.’

‘Didn’t it just,’ I whispered, remembering my own loneliness and how it had been overshadowed by my thoughts of Sam and my longing to be with him. But Ann had needed me and, besides, he’d gone to stay with Maria’s family. I’d thought it was probably for the best as New Year’s Eve can be a bit emotional anyway. And Jack and Holly needed to spend time with their maternal grandparents. They always would. Another issue that any future stepmother would have to understand.

‘So why did you go in the fridge downstairs, Mark?’

‘Wash hungry.’

‘Okay.’

‘Love your cakesh. You and Ann are the besht.’

‘Thanks.’ I stared at his cloudy eyes and my stomach lurched. Behind the alcoholic haze was pain. Dark and life-changing. He did actually love her. ‘So if you don’t mind me asking, Mark, why didn’t you propose to Ann? She was hoping…expecting you to.’ Anger flickered at the edges of my awareness as I recalled the times Ann had sobbed in my arms since I’d returned to the flat. It was so sad that human beings could do that to one another, could cause each other so much pain. Ann really loved this guy but there was no way I was letting him near her again unless he proved how much he loved her too. He had one chance.

‘I meshed up, Katie. I know. I jusht panicked. I thought I didn’t need her but I do. There’sh no one like her. No one in the whole wide world.’ He glanced in the direction of her bedroom door and I noticed that it was open a crack. Ann always closed her door properly, fearing that wayward spiders might access her room in the dead of night. Had she heard the commotion? Was she listening now? I hoped so and I pressed forwards.

‘Tell me more, Mark.’

‘She ish beautiful, funny, talented. She makesh my heart beat harder when I shee her shmile and I just…I just love her.’ His voice cracked.

‘Enough to marry her?’ Ooh I was being hard now but he’d better be honest. Last-chance saloon, Mark.

He stared at me then down at his hands and he turned them over.

‘Mark!’ My voice was sharp even to my own ears.

‘Yesh.’ He nodded vigorously. ‘Yesh. I want to be with her and I want her to be my wife. I don’t know why I didn’t think I was ready. I wash a fool.’ He pursed his lips as he said the last word, as if it was hurting him to fully realise it.

‘You’re not going to try to string her along again…I mean…even if she did by some remarkable chance decide to have you back in her life. Which she might not. You hurt her badly, Mark. You know that?’

‘Yesh, Katie, I know. I do want her as my wife. A shummer wedding. Would she like that?’

‘Don’t get carried away yet,’ I warned. ‘But yes, I think she’d like a summer wedding. August. Perhaps somewhere warm. Mauritius maybe or Italy…that beautiful castle in Malcesine on Lake Garda.’ I smiled as I named my own dream wedding destination. Now who was getting carried away? Would Sam like Lake Garda? It was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever been. A few years earlier I’d gone there on a recipe trail and spent a few sun-soaked days around the lake and the tiny cobbled streets. I’d seen a wedding party coming out of the castle grounds; the bride in a full white dress and veil, the groom in his tails. They’d been so happy, so carefree, so complete. You could only have that if you were truly in love.

‘Shounds good,’ Mark agreed. ‘Ann ish like your special Christmash cake.’ He grinned as he spoke. ‘She’s fruity and deep and spicy and addictive as alcohol.’

My nose tingled as he spoke; what a comparison! ‘Well that’s good to hear, Mark. But you have to be certain before I let you near her.’ What was I, a bodyguard?

‘I know. I am.’ He pushed his hair back from his clammy forehead.

‘Because the old saying is right.’

‘Shaying?’ His brows knitted together above his nose.

‘You can’t have your Christmas cake and eat it.’

‘Oh I want it. For ever. I promish!’ He jumped up and Ann’s bedroom door swung open. She ran into the living room and flung herself at him, which resulted in Mark falling backwards onto the couch.

As Ann covered Mark’s face with kisses, she whispered, ‘I’ve heard enough. I love you too. But if you ever cause me a moment’s doubt again, you big idiot, then you’ll be out the door in an instant. You hear me?’

Mark’s reply was muffled by Ann’s mouth as she started to make up for lost time.

‘My work here is done, so I’ll just…uh…go back to bed then. Night.’ I waved as I left them to it, a joyful warmth flooding through me.

At least someone would have a happy ever after anyway. Fifty per cent wasn’t bad for two friends, was it?

Chapter 16

I opened the door to my parents’ house and breathed deeply of the delicious aroma of Sunday dinner. Beef if my nose wasn’t deceiving me.

I hung my coat on the stand, then walked into the hallway. ‘Hello?’

I squealed as two familiar bulldogs hurtled towards me, racing each other to reach me first. ‘Wow! Stephanie and Sportacus. How are you guys?’ I knelt down and let them lick my face and nibble my ears, all the time trying to slow down my pulse rate. If the dogs were here then that meant that…

‘Hey, Katie.’

‘Sam.’ My voice emerged as a squeak. ‘How nice to see you.’ I stood up wiping wet dog-scented hair from my cheeks and trying to correct my dishevelled appearance as quickly as possible.

‘You look good.’ He smiled as he appraised me and I flushed. It had been six weeks since Ann and Mark’s reunion and I’d been keen to give them space. Mark shared a flat with a friend too which meant that they’d have had no privacy there either, so I’d done my best to make myself scarce. They were planning a wedding as well as rediscovering their former passion and I really didn’t want to be around for the latter. I’d actually taken up walking. Me! It started with slow walking but now I managed to power-walk for about fifteen minutes at a time. I’d never be an Olympian but I was proud of myself. It had also had the benefit of toning me up a bit.

‘I’ve been exercising.’ I grinned.

‘I can tell. You’re glowing.’

My heated cheeks grew hotter. If he kept complimenting me, I might just spontaneously combust. ‘And how are you? And the children?’ I suddenly realised I hadn’t asked as my ego had been enjoying the attention too much.

‘They’re good, thanks. Coming down after the half term buzz.’

‘Spring half term?’ I had no idea that had been and gone already. Things had been so busy since Christmas. Had it really been so long since I’d seen Sam? Had I really managed to keep myself that busy in order to avoid thinking about him? Which hadn’t worked because he’d been on my mind all the time. But then apart from a few texts, he hadn’t tried to push to see me either. It was probably for the best; I couldn’t bear to think that he’d done something he regretted over Christmas or that he was feeling guilty. Not that anything really happened between us in the end. Better to let sleeping dogs lie and all that.

‘That’s the one.’

He grinned and I just stood there drinking him in. In spite of my sensible thoughts on seeing him, I could have taken hold of him and kissed him all over. If I was in a movie. And that’s the sort of movie I’d never star in if it meant performing before a camera the sexual acts that were currently forcing their way into my head. Sam was just intoxicating.
Yummy!
But that little voice of common sense kept muttering in my head, warning me to take care, to remember that this was about more than me and my yearnings.

‘Hello, Katie.’ Dad appeared behind Sam, making me jump. ‘Get you a drink?’

‘Just Coke please, Dad.’

‘Not a G and T?’

‘No thanks. I have to drive back to the flat later.’

Dad returned to the kitchen.

‘I’ve missed you since Christmas, Katie. But I didn’t want to push to see you. I needed time too, you know, to get my head straight.’

‘And how are you feeling now?’ I asked, even though I dreaded hearing the answer.

He smiled. ‘I’m okay. Still a bit nervous about how I feel when I’m with you but I do know that I like having you around.’ His words filled me with hope, even though I’d done my best not to text him too often. ‘May I escort you into dinner, my lady?’

I took his arm and inclined my head the way I’d seen them do in Jane Austen films. ‘Thank you, kind sir.’ Better to keep it light and innocent for now, although his words had affected me deeply. He’d needed time to think too.

As we walked into the kitchen, I leant into him and my knees wobbled as his scent washed over me. There it was, stomach-clenching, heart-wrenchingly perfect. I could bury my head into his neck and stay there all day…if he’d have me.

We took our seats at the table as Mum dished up and Dad carved and Sam asked, ‘How’s Ann now?’

I blinked, suddenly not certain how much I’d told him about her and Mark.

‘You said in a text that she was low and that she couldn’t be left alone over the New Year celebrations.’

Of course.

‘Well, she and Mark made up so she’s much better. Except for the past week or so, she’s been off colour. I think she’s got some sort of stomach bug.’ I didn’t elaborate but she’d been acting kind of strange. Like yesterday when I made her a coffee, she’d taken one sip then rushed to the sink to spit it out. Then this morning, before I left, I’m sure I heard her retching in the bathroom. I hoped that if she did have a stomach bug that it wasn’t catching. We’d have to close the shop and lose a few days’ custom if that was the case.

‘Perhaps it’s the stress she’s under,’ I suggested, trying to reassure myself as much as to offer an explanation.

‘Stress?’

‘Of planning her wedding.’

‘Really? So it really is all fine again then between her and…uh…’

‘Mark.’

‘That’s the guy.’ He nodded.

‘Yes they’re madly in love and talking about buying a house.’ I glanced away from Sam’s intense eyes. Whenever I looked into them I felt as if I was being dragged towards him and I worried that I’d end up kissing him. Worse, I might end up drooling and leaving a big wet patch on Esther’s best cotton tablecloth. I didn’t elaborate but Mark’s father had offered to help them out with the deposit for the mortgage as although Mark earned a good wage, Ann’s money was all tied up in
Crumbtious
.

‘That’s good to hear. Happy news.’ Sam forked a piece of beef and raised it to his mouth but paused and lowered it. ‘Uh, Katie, we’re off to the cinema today to see a film the kids are keen to watch. You want to come?’

My mouth fell open and I had to press my lips together. Was he asking me out? I peeked at Mum and Dad from under my lashes but they were staring at their plates as if their dinners were the most intriguing things they’d ever seen.