Wishes on the Wind (63 page)

    "It should have been instinctive for me to save Sean and Terry instead of a person I didn't even know. I should not have sacrificed their lives for my own conscience."

    "You wanted to save them, not sacrifice them! And I wanted"

    "No! I'll listen to no more of this!"

    "You must! Meg, please, I've tried to be patient. I wanted to give you more time to come to terms with your grief, but I can't wait any longer to say the things that must be said. I love you, Meg. You've never been truly out of my mind since that first day I dragged you out of that bush and you challenged me with your anger, and I've spent too many years of my life trying to forget you to fool myself into thinking that I ever can. I don't want to forget you, Meg. I want to love you. I want to take care of you. I want you to be with me all of my life. Meg…" David's voice broke with the intensity of his plea, "Please let me love you."

    A gradual desperation began overtaking Meg. David's eyes shone with an anguish that lived inside her as well, but she closed her eyes against his pain. His body trembled with the same aching need as her own, but she resisted the sweet solace it promised. His mouth met hers and she fought the surge of warmth that touched the frozen core of her heart. She sought to resist the mesmerizing beauty that assailed her, even as she cleaved to him, as she

    "No!" Suddenly tearing herself from David's arms, Meg took a step backwards, her eyes wide, appalled. She raised a clenched fist to her lips, shaking her head. How could she have forgotten, even for a moment?

    Turning, Meg ran for the trees, bolting from her own weakness. David's footsteps pounded behind her and she ran faster, rasping for breath even as David's hands clamped on her shoulders from behind. Stumbling under the weight of his grip, Meg fell to the ground, gasping as David's weight fell partially upon her.

    Momentarily stunned, she felt David's hands on her face, saw the anxiety in his eyes, those beautiful eyes that drew closer still until the golden sparks number her will. She was lost to their wonder, aglow with their flame. Their heat consumed her. She became a part of him, wanting as she was desired, giving as she received, loving as she was loved. She felt the bite of the cool air against her flesh, but David warmed it with his lips. She felt David's hunger and her own soared anew. Myriad emotions assailed her, each of them potent and demanding, each of them raising her need until she called his name, pleading.

    She gasped at their joining. She raised her body to meet his with each passionate thrust, loving his
lovingloving
him.

    David's body was motionless atop hers, replete, when reality made the first inroads into her mind. And Meg closed her eyes, her heart breaking at what she had done.

    David stood at the window of his study. The afternoon shadows continued to lengthen as the sun made its descent toward evening, touching the foliage outside the window with a fading amber. The colors of autumn were in brilliant display, but a faint smile curved his lips with the thought that its splendor paled in comparison with the beauty Meg and he had rediscovered in each other's arms only a short time earlier. He had not wanted to part from her, even briefly.

    His expression sobering, David turned away from the window and walked toward his desk. He halted, looking at the pile of papers there, knowing instinctively it was senseless even to attempt to work. He was too filled with the glory of Meg to do else but remember.

    Elation reverberated inside him. She was so beautiful, his Meg. She was his bliss, his future, his love. And she was finally his alone, never to be lost again.

    Suddenly impatient with this enforced separation, David questioned the wisdom of allowing Meg to return home, even for a short time. But he had been unable to deny the distance that had come between them when the heat of their mutual passion had passed. He had sensed her withdrawal, and when she did not respond to his inquiry, he had decided against pressing her. He did not fool himself that he had totally erased the pain of the past months from Meg's mind. That would take time, and he was determined that he would give it to her, as difficult as it would be.

    His heated trend of thought interrupted by an unexpected knock on the door, David turned with an impatient response. He froze into stillness at the peculiar light in Captain Linden's eyes as he entered the room and closed the door behind himself.

    Tightly clutching her traveling case, Meg stood in the deserted train station. A whistle echoed in the distance, heralding the approach of the late-afternoon train, and she squinted at the dark puffs of smoke rising into the brilliant blue of the horizon. Sadness, panic, desperation moved over her in succeeding waves, increasing her trepidation as she glanced nervously over her shoulder.

    Releasing a quivering breath, Meg straightened her shoulders, her eyes on the train rounding the curve into sight. She did not remember making a conscious decision to leave. Even now her presence on this deserted platform seemed
unrealalmost
as unreal as her shattering response to David's lovemaking. But the soul-shaking realization that had followed as she lay in David's arms, the knowledge that despite herself, she had returned David's love with all the power of her aching heart, had been too much to bear.

    Meg trembled anew. How many times must she fall before she admitted to herself that David's loving gaze manipulated her will, that she was presently defenseless against it? How many times could she betray Sean before she was unable to live with her regrets?

    Those thoughts had been foremost in her mind even as David     and she had parted, his words of love resounding in her ears. Driven by shame, and deaf to Aunt Fiona's protests, she had thrown her meager belongings into a bag, taking the time only for a brief note to Father Matthew before she left, so desperate had she been to bring the turmoil inside herself to an end.

    The train made its final, hissing approach, and Meg's heart raced as she reached into the pocket of her coat to touch the ticket there. Glancing around again as the train shuddered to a halt in front of her, she quickly climbed the narrow metal steps and walked into the car without looking back.

    Drawing back behind the grilled protection of the counter, the startled ticket clerk eyed David's white face warily as David demanded again, ''Are you sure? Damn it, man, are you?"

    His face flushing, the young fellow stammered nervously. "Of course, I'm sure. I saw the lady leave. Real pretty she was with them big eyes and…" The clerk's words trailed off as David's threatening expression darkened, and he paused to swallow nervously before continuing. "She bought a ticket for Philadelphia and she jumped on that train as soon as it stopped, like the devil was after her." Flushing more darkly, the fellow finished in a rush. "The train left about five minutes ago and I didn't see nothin' else."

    Outside the station, David searched the empty platform with a desperate gaze. A train whistle echoed in the distance and David stared in the direction of the sound, disbelieving. It couldn't be true. Meg couldn't have left him!

    He cursed, the desperation inside him growing. If only he hadn't doubted Linden's report that Meg had been seen at the train station with a suitcase in her hand. If only he hadn't stopped at her house first to check if she was there, he might have arrived in time to stop her.

    His throat suddenly tight, David ran a shaking hand through his hair. She was gone. How many times did Meg have to turn away from him before he realized that she had had enough? How many times did he

    Another thought suddenly striking him, David stood stock still. Springing into movement a moment later, he ran the few steps to his horse, mounted, and spurred the animal into motion.

    Reaching his destination a short time later, David leaped to the ground and hastily tied his mount's reins to the nearest branch. Following the familiar trail the rest of the way on foot, he felt the     knot of tension inside him tighten with each step. Halting briefly as he approached the familiar bower, he gathered his courage and stepped between the overgrown honeysuckle bushes that surrounded it.

    He saw Meg then. A suitcase at her feet, she turned to meet his gaze, and relief pounded through him. She searched his face intently as he closed the distance between them with a few rapid steps. He crushed her against him, hungry for the feel of her as he whispered, his voice breaking, "Meg… I thought you had left me."

    He kissed her once, twice, but she drew back from him, determined to speak.

    Meeting his gaze squarely, she whispered, "I
meant
to leave you, David. I bought my ticket and climbed on the train, but at the last second, I couldn't do it. I was confused. I needed to think, so I came up here to be alone and sort things out."

    Meg's voice faltered, and she took a deep breath before proceeding with quiet intensity. "I felt so lost. All I could think about was the ways that I had
failedin
maintaining my promise to my Main saving Sean from
himselfin
keeping the gentle Terry, the man to whom I'd said my vows, from being overwhelmed by the side of him that was too despicable to bear. I felt I had betrayed those who loved me, those I loved in return, and I felt by loving you I was betraying them even more. I hated myself, David. And I hated you, for loving me. I was filled with grief and close to despair."

    Meg paused again, her expression slowly changing as a smile touched the sober line of her lips for the first time. "It was then that my Ma's voice came to my mind. It was sweet and clear in saying as she had that last day, 'Be true to yourself, Meg.'

    "I put aside my grief then, David, so I might honestly search my heart. And in the searching, deep inside, I realized that my heart's been torn in two all these many years, and that in all that I had done, there was only one person I had truly failed." Tears filled Meg's eyes as she raised her hand to David's cheek. "That person is you."

    Pressing closer, her voice breaking, Meg whispered, "Damaged and sore as it is, my heart's whole at last, David, and it's yours. If I'm to be true to myself, I know now that I must love you. I must stay with you all of our lives, for in truth, my love is such that I have no choice at all."

    A sobering elation robbed David of speech. Trembling as Meg

    trembled, loving her at that moment more than he had ever loved her before, he drew her close. He held her almost reverently as the full significance of the moment sank into his mind. Meg loved him as he loved her.

    Crushing her close against him, David cherished that thought. He savored it in his mind, his mouth covering Meg's in silent promise as a gentle breeze caressed them, raising the scent of honeysuckle, although the blossoms were long gone.

Elaine
Barbieri

    The romance of history was bred into Elaine
Barbieri
as a child raised in a historic New Jersey city. She has brought that romance to life as the author of over 26 novels, which have hit major best-seller lists across the country. With over seven million books in print, her novels are published worldwide.

    Ms.
Barbieri
has received many awards for her work, including Storyteller of the Year, Best Saga Awards, and Awards of Excellence from
Romantic Times
Magazine.

    Ms.
Barbieri
lives in West Milford, New Jersey, with her husband and family.