Authors: Emma Mills
‘Don’t even think about lying to Sebastian, Jessica that would irritate him far more. Eva will have told him by now anyway.’ Daniel’s voice interrupted my musings.
‘Daniel, will you please quit reading my mind and give me some privacy,’ I answered quietly.
‘I’m not reading your mind Jessica, but unless you put up your defensive wall, then you're actually projecting images without knowing you’re doing it. Our minds are linked, you know that,’ he said.
I turned away from him, swivelling in my seat so I faced the passenger window, and slammed all the defensive walls I could muster into place. I closed my eyes. It was too much, just too much. I was confused and tired and my emotions were swirling like a black thundercloud.
Presently, Daniel drove the car onto a familiar street and down the drive into the underground garage. As soon as the engine stopped I was out of the car, into the house and up the stairs, heading for my room. Seconds before I closed the bedroom door behind me, I heard Daniel enter the house and close the kitchen door quietly.
I wondered if he'd follow me, and wasn’t sure whether I wanted him to or not. Yes I wanted privacy. Hadn’t I just demanded privacy in the car? A part of me didn’t want to look into the face of the one who’d taken everything I had and everyone I loved away from me - OK, I realised that if he hadn’t done that I’d now be dead and buried - but sometimes I wondered if that would have been better, at least then I wouldn’t be so confused and messed up.
A different part of me remembered the quiet calm that filled my body when he took me in his arms. The peace that filled my head and pushed away my worries when he stroked my hair, and very occasionally, when I let my guard down, the wave of excitement and pleasure that broke over me and made me forget all about Luke and my past life.
Guiltily I closed my door and curled up in the middle of the bed, snuggling my cold body under the duvet and pressing my face into the pillow to let my body release its sobs.
I must have dozed off, as I suddenly realised I had heard someone move in my room. I could feel my tears dried onto my cheeks, making my skin feel taut and itchy. I uncurled myself slightly and focused my eyes in the darkness. Daniel appeared in front of me and sat on the edge of the bed.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you might feel better after a drink,’ he said smiling, and after I’d sat up, he handed me a warm mug which I took and huddled my still freezing body around.
‘I feel so cold,’ I said, and watched as a puzzled expression flitted across his face.
‘Our body temperatures do run lower than humans, but you shouldn’t
feel
cold. A vampire only starts to feel shivery or cold if his body starts to reject the change;
or
if he doesn’t manage to feed enough and his body starts to die. Jessica, it could be different with you because you’re much more human than normal vampires, but I’m worried it’s because you’ll not drink pure blood,’ he said quietly, his face failing to conceal the concern.
‘Daniel, what do you mean when you say about a body rejecting the change?’ I asked after a pause.
‘Nothing, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It happens so very rarely. I know of only one case in my whole lifetime. It’s when a human body is unusually strong. After the change to vampire, the body begins to reject the changes and instead of blood being the life force, it begins to poison the body. But don’t worry Jessica, it won’t be happening to you. I was reckless to mention it.’
‘Has anyone ever survived and returned to human again, after their body’s rejected it?’ I asked, a new hope growing inside me.
‘No, they all die. I know what you’re thinking, which is why I should never have mentioned it. Your body would have started rejecting before now anyway,’ he added. ‘You
are
different, it’s true, but you're a strong vampire already. I’ve seen and felt the power of your bloodlust for the split second that you haven’t controlled it. You’re cold because you’re not feeding enough. Now drink.’
The warmth from the mug had seeped through my fingers, slowly travelling up my arms and through my chest where I’d been holding it, but now the sweet dark chocolaty aroma filled my senses and I lifted the mug to my lips. Daniel was right. Within seconds of the blood hitting my lips, warmth trickled back through my body, chasing away the shivers and making me feel re-energised. I drank the contents and smiled sheepishly at Daniel, before handing it back and curling back down into my duvet.
Daniel may not need to sleep, but a quick cat nap was not enough for me and a heavy tiredness hung like a thick velvet curtain as my eyelids drooped, shutting out the memories of the evening that were threatening to resurface.
It felt like hours, but it can’t have been more than two or three, because it was still dark. Of course, as it was mid-winter, dawn was not breaking till seven or eight o’clock, but even so it had been nearly three when I’d finished my drink. I was shivering again, but this time with emotion.
My dreams chased and hounded me. Faces from my past flitted in and out. Gemma stood before me, her hand reaching out to touch my frozen face. I looked into her eyes and started, as she morphed into Alex, who cried out and recognised me. ‘You’re dead! You’re dead! You’re dead!’ She said over and over again. I reached out to her and she fell into my arms crying. Our tears mingled and we clung to each other. My arms held her tight and suddenly she tried to pull back from me.
Within seconds the dream became my worst nightmare as I saw myself leaning over her writhing body, holding her still, biting her, draining her. I looked down upon myself; I was removed and yet there. I was both the monster and the observer. I saw myself pull back from her slumped body and watched a trickle of blood run down my darkened lips and over my chin.
I screamed and screamed, unable to stop.
‘Hey, Shhhh, Shhhh!’ Daniel was there. He held me still and stroked my forehead. ‘It’s just a dream. It’s OK Jessica, it’s just me,’ he said as I tried to push him away, recoiling.
I sank back into the pillow, sobbing and suddenly he was there, next to me. He pushed off the heavy duvet and curled his body behind mine. His knees bent up fitting neatly behind mine, his body seeming to melt into every contour, his chin resting on top of my head. Even Luke didn’t seem to fit me quite this perfectly. At the thought of Luke, I began to edge away from Daniel, pushing him away half-heartedly, my heart feeling guilt but my body craving the warmth and security.
‘Shhh, it’s OK. Just relax, Jessica. No one can hurt you.’ His words soothed me and I relaxed back into his embrace. I was glad I’d bothered to put on my pyjamas, and not lazily ignored the trouser bottoms and crawled into bed in my top and knickers, as I normally did. He too had changed out of his club wear and was now in a pair of black, heavy jersey tracksuit bottoms and a white t-shirt.
‘It wasn’t me getting hurt that was the problem,’ I whispered.
‘Shhhh. It didn’t happen. It won’t happen. Alex is fine. Don’t worry,’ he whispered back, the heat from his breath caressing my neck.
‘Are you still cold, Jessica?’ he asked holding me tighter, and I felt a blush rising to my cheeks, and was glad of the darkness, before whispering back,
‘No, I’m fine now.’
My traitorous body urged his hand to move from my waist to stroke my thigh, my hip, but he didn’t move and I was glad.
A soft sigh left his lips and he shifted away from me, sat up and pulling the duvet back over me, gently climbed out of bed. I rolled onto my back to watch him, wondering if he’d felt what I had; if he’d felt my pulse quicken and my body heat up. I thought he had and I was thankful that he’d not taken the next step, knowing I was nowhere near ready.
His face suddenly loomed over mine as he bent over me, his dark, shaggy, shoulder-length hair flopping sweetly around his beautiful face. He got closer and suddenly I felt his soft lips close on mine. His lips pressed against mine insistently as his hand reached underneath my head and cupped it, holding me to him. After a second of surprise, I looked into his open eyes and saw them glimmer with passion and sparkle in the darkness. A second later he was gone, his final words bringing a secret smile to my lips.
‘There’s only so much waiting a man can take, Jessica,’ he said, as he gently closed my door behind him, leaving me breathing hard and wanting more.
I looked over at the window and thought I saw a glimmer of dawn threatening the night sky, so I decided to get a couple more hours of sleep in before having to face the day and my growing feelings for Daniel. I curled back up into a somewhat warmer ball and drew the duvet right over my head, grinning like a schoolgirl as I remembered the feeling of his lips pressed against mine, the warmth of his body as he curled behind me.
The next time I woke, dawn had been and gone and another bright, sunny day greeted me. I looked at my clock and frowned as I realised it was nearly twelve, and yet again I’d slept more than I should. Damn! I rolled onto my back and sighed, as the events of last night crowded in. The front door slammed downstairs, interrupting my musings, but all was quiet. Had Daniel gone out and left me here alone? Unlikely. My interest was piqued so I slipped out of bed, quickly pulling on a pair of blue jeans and the nearest sweatshirt to hand. As I pulled it over my head, I knew instantly it wasn’t mine. It was Daniel’s. He must have left it here last night. It smelled delicious, intoxicating and very comforting. I smiled and felt my spirits rise, before catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and instantly frowning.
Stupid girl! What about my feelings for Luke? They were still there, and I wasn’t about to forget about him, just because my body was attuned to an unjustifiably gorgeous vampire who happened to have saved my life. I remembered the day Luke and his family had moved into the house opposite. I was only thirteen and trying to tidy up the garden for my mum, who’d just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Rumour had it he was a foster kid, but I didn’t care. He smiled at me as he carried boxes into the house and I felt the first flushes of a crush that would turn into true love.
Damn! I sighed, but I couldn’t quite get myself to remove the sweatshirt. I told myself it was just because it was warm and comfy, perfect for a frosty winter’s morning, or afternoon.
After pulling on some socks and cursorily pulling a brush through my hair, I left my sanctuary and went in search of Daniel. I wondered if he’d let me call him Dan? Hmmm, somehow I thought not. I smiled again and followed the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen. Eva was sitting on a chair, her feet propped up on the kitchen table. Daniel must definitely have gone out, because Eva wouldn’t bother creating the hassle, if Daniel saw her with her feet on the kitchen table.
‘Oh, ehm, hi!’ I faltered.
‘Hullo. I thought you might be avoiding us, but here you are. Just avoiding Dan then? Hmm,’ she said with a grin, looking pointedly at my sweatshirt and raising an eyebrow.
Drat! I knew I should’ve taken it off. Now she was going to think something had happened between us, when it hadn’t. Well, nothing much anyway. I felt the oh too familiar blush slowly rising to my cheeks, and determined to ignore it, I turned away from Eva and walked towards the pantry, trying to sound flippant as I answered her.
‘I wasn’t avoiding anyone. I was just chilling in my room, and when I heard the door shut I decided to come and investigate. Where’s he gone anyway?’
‘He’s gone to meet Sebastian, to discuss the details of your hospital visit.’
‘Oh right.’ It seemed odd that the discussion with Sebastian had happened only last night; so much had happened in the few hours after.
‘Is Sebastian pissed off with me for blowing the light fuse?’ I asked, dreading the answer that I’d have to go and see him again. The man gave me the creeps and irritated the hell out of me.
Eva smiled - she knew where I was coming from. I’d bet she didn’t like acting subordinate to Sebastian anymore than I did. Eva was the strongest-willed woman I’d met; she wouldn’t enjoy taking orders from anyone.