Authors: Emma Mills
I turned back to smile at Daniel and didn’t even hear her leave the room. I’d found to my delight that vampires were naturally fast and graceful, but Eva beat us all. She moved or rather flowed up the stairs so silently, she could have passed for a ghost had she not been so full of life and energy.
She appeared in the kitchen again only minutes later, and if I hadn’t already become used to her unnatural speed I would have been shocked. As it was, I’d already changed my boots, grabbed my jacket and was waiting with a smile on my face.
‘Right, come on then, my car’s at the front,’ she said, heading back out towards the front door, and suddenly I felt shy. What should I do? Part of me wanted to kiss Daniel goodbye, but I wasn’t sure if this was too much, too soon for either of us. My feelings for Luke were still there, but I it was easy to get lost in these new exciting feelings. My feelings for Daniel were growing by the day, and I knew he would always be there for me. I hesitated in the doorway, feeling awkward and shy, but then relief shot through me as he grinned and beckoned me over with his finger. I smiled shyly and went over to him, letting him pull me into his arms. My heart jumped as he pulled me in for a sweet kiss on the lips.
‘Come on Jess! Daniel, let go of her,’ Eva shouted down the hall. Daniel grinned at me and shoved me from his lap, giving me a playful smack on the rear as I left the room, grinning like a lunatic.
Eva raised her eyes to the heavens and tutted. ‘Come on,’ she said, before leaving me to follow her out of the house and into the car. In my attempt to impress and get myself ready in record time, I’d forgotten the one essential item. I stepped out of the door into a brilliant sunny day and found myself once again blinded, screwing my eyes up in pain, hot tears running down my cheeks.
‘Aghh! I yelped, and quickly retreated into the house, where Daniel had already pre-empted my error and found my sunglasses, which I quickly claimed before running back down the path to Eva’s car.
‘I’m sorry Jess, if you wanted to stay in with Dan. I know how addictive that initial bond can feel, and I’m really pleased that you’ve given in to it,’ she said, pausing as I frowned slightly. ‘However, I think, as you are well aware, you’re not quite as simple as other vampires. Regardless of how you think you’re managing your feelings for Luke and your past, they cannot have disappeared quite as fast as you’re making out. I think a little down time will be good for your soul,’ she said quickly. She kept looking at me, and even though we both had sunglasses on, I knew her keen eyes were seeing straight through the dark plastic lenses to the surprise in my eyes.
I didn’t get it. I thought she wanted me to bury my soul. I thought she wanted me to give in to the vampire, and forget my past. Why the change of heart? Why, when I finally thought I was getting somewhere, and was accepting this new life, did the goal posts have to change? I was totally bemused.
‘Eva I don’t understand, I thought you’d be encouraging these new feelings?’ I asked, feeling more than slightly hurt, if not a little bit sorry for myself.
‘I do, I do, and it may surprise you, but I do actually care about you, as well as Dan. I don’t want this to end badly. I think you’re going to be a very talented vampire, and I think a lot of those talents are intrinsically linked to your soul.’ She paused, but as I had nothing to say she carried on. ‘Jess, your soul it what’s so special about you, and I don’t want you to quash it and bury it in an attempt to guard yourself from your feelings. Seek comfort from Daniel by all means, but you need to acknowledge your pain as well, and reap power from it,’ she said. The words were kindly, but there was a serious tone to them, and I understood immediately the reason for that.
She may care for me, but not as much as Daniel did. She was not linked to me as he was, and I knew that however much she liked me, she was bound to Sebastian. I’d already seen glimmers of her harder side. They were obviously worried that if I gave in to my vampire side too soon, I’d lose the recent abilities which had so impressed them. Those abilities had so far only shown up when I was upset and emotional, and I saw her point. I mean the lights hadn’t pinged out when I was kissing Daniel, and I had been feeling very emotional then! I frowned as I contemplated everything she’d said.
Eva continued, ‘I know how it must seem Jess, and initially your life may be harder going down this route, but if you work hard at controlling those talents, I believe that in the long run you’ll have more success and independence. If you give in now, you’ll just become a very ordinary, talentless vamp.’ She smiled at me, and I truly believed that she meant what she was saying. She did want the best for me, and I realised from the short time I’d known Sebastian, that I’d gain much more respect from him if I stood out.
‘I’m not asking you to stop things developing naturally with Daniel. Besides, it
is
strange that it’s taken so long for you to see him that way. All I ask is that you don’t cut yourself off from that human soul, not yet. Don’t let her lose her voice; don’t forget your past too easily, as it will help you become something great,’ she finished.
Wow! Some speech, but it had an edge of smoothness to it, so that I didn’t quite believe it was all from the heart. At the same time it made sense, so I decided to go along with her and mull things over later.
‘OK, but in order for me to get through today, I need that part of me to stay in the background, otherwise I won’t cope.’ I said, feeling unusually strong and sure of myself. I felt I’d made my point, and while she may not want me to lose my talents, there’d be a time and a place to try and use them, which wouldn’t be this afternoon, with so much ahead of me. She nodded and smiled, and I saw a glimmer of respect flash across her face before she turned back to the traffic, leaving me to my thoughts.
Chapter Nine
The next couple of hours passed in a blur, as Eva slipped into fashion fiend mode and became a mini-whirlwind, powering me from shop to shop. We found a beautifully cut black suit with a demure, yet shapely pencil skirt and fashionably short cropped jacket. To this I added a fitted pure white shirt and cute patent leather ballet pumps. I still didn’t feel comfortable in heels, much to Eva’s dismay, and insisted flats would be much more practical for the job in hand.
After our earlier chat, Eva didn’t bring up the subject of my soul again and the two hours flew by as we chatted about clothes and film star gossip. Before I knew it I was back at the house and feeling lighter for a trip out.
Daniel was watching a footie game as usual, and what baffled me was how you could switch the TV on almost any day of the week and find football. Be it a cup game, league game or a World Cup Qualifier, and just in case that wasn’t enough, it seemed that even the under seventeen games were televised.
Unusually, when I sat down next to him his eyes actually left the screen and he looked at me, worry creasing the skin around his beautiful dark eyes.
‘How was it?’ he asked, and I knew it was a loaded question.
‘It was fine, honestly. I got a great suit,’ I said, as I snuggled into the curve of his arm and avoided his gaze. I didn’t want to worry him anymore, and just needed a few minutes peace before I got ready for the afternoon’s ordeal.
An hour later I was sitting in Daniel’s car wearing my new suit. I had my hair tied back in a sleek ponytail and was staring out of the car windows at the house I knew so well.
Flashbacks coursed through my head - visions of my dad playing with me in the garden, both of us washing his car and spraying each other with water, me squealing as he chased me round the car. Another of me, older this time, sneaking a kiss from a boyfriend, as my dad watched stonily from behind the living room curtains. My whole life had been played out here, and this was the last time I’d get to go inside.
‘Come on,’ Daniel said, smiling and holding the door open for me. Eva had already gone up the path and opened the door quickly. Where they’d got the key from I didn’t want to know, and therefore didn’t ask. ‘Just get inside and get the job done’, I told myself. I
could
do this, I
could
. As I walked up the path, I glanced nervously at the neighbours’ windows, but no one was there. This made sense, as both houses belonged to working families, the kids at school and the parents at work.
I entered the house, my house, and was once again bombarded with memories. It was like dying all over again, and I saw myself riding on my dad’s back when I was only four, screaming with laughter as he crawled on his hands and knees, pretending to be my horse. I saw myself standing on a kitchen chair, as I helped my mum bake fairy buns when I was six, and finally I saw the stroppy thirteen year old me, screaming and shouting, before running up the stairs two at a time, and slamming my bedroom door so hard it cracked the door frame. I winced as I remembered how unreasonable I thought they were being. What I’d give to be able to scream and shout at them again.
I jumped and came back to the present with a jolt, as Daniel took my arm and gently steered me into the living room, closing the front door behind us. I struggled to block out the memories which kept surfacing, each becoming more painful, the closer they became. Finally, I closed my eyes on the image of Luke twirling me round the living-room floor to the ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ final. It had been a week before Christmas; a mere couple of months ago. We’d both shrieked with laughter, my beautiful ring sparkling in the lights from the tree. It wasn’t an engagement ring or anything, but it was the best Christmas present I’d had. I knew he wouldn’t have bought it for me if he didn’t love me and my dad’s face had been hysterical when he thought I was getting engaged at seventeen.
As the memory faded I looked down at my bare hand, and with another jolt realised I’d not seen it since I had woken to this new life.
‘Where’s my ring, Daniel?’ I shouted. ‘Did you take it away because you wanted me all to yourself? Did you think I’d forget about him if I didn’t have it? Did you think it would be easier to get over him, if I didn’t have it to remind me how much he loved me?’ I shouted at Daniel, fury bringing bile to my throat. I felt the familiar confusion and tumult of feelings swirling uncontrollably within, and wondered briefly if I should try and fling Daniel across the room. That would show them! I stared at him aggressively, all tenderness forgotten, as I waited for his answer, the windows vibrating slightly in their frames.
‘Is that what you think of me Jessica? How can you think I’d do that to you?’ His eyes shone with a fury that was hard to bear, and I could see a mixture of hurt and indignation well from within, as he turned from me and walked from the room.
‘Stupid girl! Dan would never have done that to you. I may have done, if there’d been a ring to remove, but there wasn’t. Those girls probably took it,’ Eva said, her voice distinctively chilly.
‘Oh, I’m sor..’ I started to apologise, but she interrupted.
‘It’s not me you need to apologise to, but I suggest you give him some time to calm down first. You can make yourself useful by checking this room. It won’t take long, because I’m pretty sure your father wouldn’t hide whatever he was keeping from you in here, but check the backs of cupboards and the top book shelves, while I go upstairs.’
I looked down and felt like an impetuous teenager again. All the fury and emotion had left my body as quickly as it arrived and I was left feeling rather silly, not at all looking forward to seeing Daniel and apologising. I mean, I wanted to apologise, I did, but I didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes, hurt that I’d caused, after he’d done everything possible to protect me.
There was nothing for it but to get stuck in and at least try to do something right. I couldn’t accept their belief, that I had a different birth mother, but the more I thought about it, the more questions I had. It was true that my mother didn’t look like me, and we had very different personalities, but that didn’t mean anything.
It does seem strange now, that when my parents moved house they lost their very first photo album, with all my baby photos in. In fact, it only occurred to me now, when I thought it through, how my father had also said my birth certificate had been lost. I’d needed it the previous year, when applying for my student loan, and dad had suddenly gone all weird, which I put down to his drinking. He insisted that he’d sort it out for me, and in the end I think he bought another copy and posted it off to the local authority himself. I never saw it; but then what seventeen year old bothers to sort out stuff like that, if their dad offers to do it for them? I had more important things to check out, like which student accommodation was closest to Luke’s! However, that new birth certificate would be my key. Could my father have had an ulterior motive? I couldn’t think about it. It was too weird.