Authors: Sara Craven
'Oh, he does,' Rob nodded. 'But my mother has never been too
keen. She would have much preferred him to buy a place in the
Home Counties. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he decided to sell
out to van Guisen. And it wouldn't make any difference to us,
darling. You can't pretend you want to stay on here in the
circumstances.'
'No,' she agreed levelly, 'I certainly can't pretend that.'
There was altogether too much pretence in her life, she thought
later that night as she lay in bed, trying to sleep, but it would have
to end soon. Quite apart from the suspect morality of what she was
doing, it was going to be increasingly difficult to keep Rob at arm's
length. Tomorrow, she decided, she would seek Lyall out and tell
him she was leaving Polzion, and trust that he wouldn't place her
mother's future in jeopardy as he'd once threatened.
But when she arrive^ downstairs it was to find that Lyall had left
for London after an early breakfast.
'But he'll be back on Christmas Eve,' Mrs Pentreath told her.
In time for the Donlevens' party, Morgana thought desolately.
She was working on the accounts in the office a few days later
when she became aware that someone was watching her, and
glancing up she saw Elaine standing in the doorway.
'Oh, hello.' Morgana tried to make her voice welcoming.
'Hello to you.' Elaine strolled forward and perched on the edge of
the desk Morgana was working at, dislodging some of the papers.
She made no effort to retrieve them as they fluttered to the floor,
simply sat there, staring at Morgana, her eyes glittering slightly.
'Mother asked me to come,' she said eventually. 'She's trying to
calculate the final numbers for Christmas Eve, and we haven't had
a firm reply from you.'
Wouldn't a phone call have done as well? Morgana found herself
wondering sceptically.
'I'd hoped very much to come,' she said mendaciously. 'But I'm
afraid you'll have to count me out. We've had an unexpected
booking for that evening—a family dinner party—ten of them, and
I'll be needed here. Please tell your mother how sorry I am.'
'I see.' Elaine looked slightly taken aback. 'Well, no doubt it's all
for the best.'
'I'm sure you think so,' Morgana said quietly, and drew the ledger
she was working on towards her again.
Elaine smiled. 'I'm not the only one who thinks so. But I told Lyall
I was sure that you'd be sensible—that you wouldn't want to play
the skeleton at our feast.'
Morgana put down her pen and gave Elaine a steady look. 'And
what has Lyall to do with it?'
'Oh, don't let's play games,' the other girl said impatiently. 'You
may be able to deceive my poor deluded brother, but you don't fool
me and never have. You're in love with Lyall—girlishly and
embarrassingly in love.' She gave Morgana a pitying smile. 'And
that was something he never intended—although it was wicked of
him to lead you on, as he's the first to admit.'
'To admit to whom?' Morgana's heart was beating in sickening
thuds. 'To you?'
'Well, I would hardly be here if he hadn't,' Elaine said sharply.
'This isn't a task I relish, believe me. I don't altogether blame you,
of course, and I wouldn't even have grudged you a little fling, if
you'd been prepared to settle for that. We're all adults, after all, and
these things happen. But you're far too much of a little Puritan to
gather any rosebuds which happen to be around, aren't you,
sweetie?'
'I think I must be.' This was a nightmare, Morgana thought
frantically. It had to be.
'In fact the ideal solution to the whole mess might be for you to go
away—find a job right away from Cornwall,' Elaine was saying,
examining the polish on her immaculate nails. 'And don't worry
about that silly contract. I'm sure you'll find Lyall only too happy
to release you from your part of it now that we're going to be
married. The joke's inevitably worn a little thin for him, and, of
course, he never expected you to take him quite so seriously.'
Morgana said very coolly and clearly, 'I think you're disgusting.'
Elaine's eyes flashed for a moment, but she recovered
immediately.
'I'm a realist, my dear, and that's what Lyall wants from a woman
in the end. Not a head stuffed with romantic fantasies, although
your passion over the family feud did amuse him for a while. But
now -' she gave a little sigh—'now it's become an embarrassment.
And I'm sure you don't want to be an embarrassment.'
Morgana got to her feet 'I'd like you to go now, please.' She was
fighting the anger and humiliation inside her, and it was hard to
speak calmly when what she wanted to do was scream and drag
her nails down the beautiful smiling, patronising face and then,
quite probably, be violently sick.
Elaine said gently, 'I think we've had a valuable chat, don't you?
I'll tell Rob you won't be at the party. I'm sure you'll be able to
think up some story to satisfy him— you're quite a resourceful
little thing in many ways. You've just let yourself get slightly out
of your depth, that's all. Goodbye, sweetie.'
When she had gone, Morgana sank back into her chair, trembling.
She closed her eyes, trying to dispel the images in her mind of
Lyall and Elaine together, laughing— laughing about her. She
wrapped her arms tightly across her breasts, her breathing deep
and agonised.
And the worst of it was she could not run away. She had nowhere
to go, and anyway her mother was relying on her for the next few
weeks at least. She would have to stay here, and endure Elaine's
patronising triumph and Lyall's pity. Oh, God—Lyall's pity.
She put her head down on the desk, and softly and passionately,
she began to weep.
In a way, Rob's anger was almost a relief.
'A dinner party?' he stormed. 'Since when has Polzion House
started offering that kind of facility?'
'Since I took the booking,' Morgana returned wearily. 'For heaven's
sake, Rob, we're trying to run a business here. Elsa's a magnificent
cook, as you've always said yourself. If other people think so too,
it could become an additional sideline for us.'
'But even so, surely you don't have to be there,' Rob persisted
aggressively.
'Of course I do. Part of my job is to prepare the dining room and
serve the meal. Or do you imagine Elsa does that as well as the
cooking?'
'I hate to think of you waiting at table,' he grumbled. His pleasant
face took on a stubborn look. 'If you married me, you wouldn't
have to do it.'
'No, I could wait on you instead.' She tried to make her tone light,
but didn't quite succeed.
'But I want you to come to our party. I was counting on you being
there.'
Morgana took a deep breath. 'Perhaps it's just as well I can't make
it, Rob. I—I've been thinking very seriously— about us, and I
think it would be wrong to make any official announcement while
we're still unsure of our feelings.'
'I'm not the slightest bit unsure. I want to marry you, Morgana, and
as soon as possible.'
'And I'm trying to tell you I'm not ready for that kind of
commitment.' She bit her lip. 'Perhaps one day, but not yet. I—I've
got to get away from here for a while— find a job—maybe
discover who I really am.' She tried a little laugh. 'Isn't that what
people do these days?'
He was staring at her as if he'd never seen her before. 'You're
going away?' he said incredulously. 'Going where?'
'I don't know yet. I should have gone after my father died, but I felt
I ought to stay, and find out what the situation was—what Lyall
intended.' She made herself look at him, her eyes appealing.
'Please try to understand, Rob. I really do need to get away.'
'Oh, I understand.' His voice was suddenly hoarse. 'I've closed my
eyes to a lot of things, and I've tried not to listen either, but it's
true—isn't it? You're in love with van Guisen.'
'You don't know what you're saying.'
'Oh, I know. Elaine warned me, but I wouldn't listen. The night old
Jimmy crashed his car—there was something going on then, wasn't
there? Elaine said there was. She said you looked as if you'd just
crawled out of his bed. But I didn't believe her.' He paused,
swallowing. 'Is that why you want to get away? Because you're
having his child?'
'Oh, God no!' Morgana was horrified. She put her hand on his arm,
but he flinched away. 'There's nothing like that—you must believe
me.'
'But there's something,' he said heavily. 'Isn't there? Elaine was
right. She said you'd make some excuse to delay our engagement.
She said all along you had no intention of marrying me—that it
was all a pathetic attempt to make van Guisen think you didn't care
for him. I told her to shut up. I said that it was all a pack of lies,
but it wasn't—was it?'
There was going to be no easy way out after all. She said quietly,
'Not entirely—but Elaine was wrong about one thing. I was serious
about marrying you. I thought we could be happy—but later I
realised ...'
'You were going to marry me when you wanted him?' Rob was
almost shouting. 'My God, where was that supposed to leave me?'
She shook her head wretchedly. 'I'd already made up my mind I
couldn't go through with it. J thought if I went away . . .'
'Oh, you're all consideration,' he broke across her stumbling words.
'How long would you have let me go on waiting and hoping before
you stopped answering my letters?'
'I don't know.' Morgana winced as if she had been struck. 'There's
nothing I can say in my defence, Rob, but it might be some slight
consolation to you to know that I'm more miserable now than I've
ever been in my life.'
'It's no consolation,' he muttered, lowering his head. 'Oh, God,
what a mess!' There was a silence, then he said, 'So what do we do
now?'
Morgana shrugged wearily. 'I find a job somewhere as soon as I
can.' She hesitated. 'I know it's trite, Rob—but I'm sorry. I never
meant it to happen this way.'
'I don't think I want to hear any more about your intentions. And
don't apologise.' He got up defeatedly from the sofa where they'd
been sitting. 'God, the last thing I want is your sympathy. I was a
fool not to see this coming. Goodbye, Morgana.' He looked at her
with a travesty of his usual smile. 'Don't ask me to wish you a
happy Christmas.'
Morgana waited until the noise of his car engine had died away
and then went upstairs to her room. She couldn't sleep that night,
but sleepless nights were something she was going to have to
accept, she thought. However badly she might have treated Rob,
she was being well punished for it.
She was almost thankful it was Christmas Eve the next day. She
needed things to do. She told her mother quietly that she was not
seeing Rob again, and Mrs Pentreath, aware of her white face and
deeply shadowed eyes, tactfully refrained from asking any
questions.
Elsa, however, had no such scruples.' 'Tesn't the end of the world
when all's said and done,' she announced, standing implacably
over Morgana while she forced her to drink a cup of creamy coffee
and eat some home-made shortbread during a morning break the
girl neither wanted nor needed. 'I read that Robert's cards after I
'eard the front door slam last night, and there's the Queen of
Diamonds waiting for him—that Templeton maid, I shouldn't
wonder. Ships that pass in the night, my lover, and don't you forget
it,' she added a little obscurely. 'He's not for you, as I've said all
along.'
It was late in the afternoon that Lyall came. Morgana was in the
dining room putting the finishing touches to a centre piece she had
designed from scarlet candles and ribbon and pieces of holly. The
first inkling she had of his presence was when she turned and saw
him, leaning against the door frame, watching her. She gave a little
startled cry and her hand caught one of the long-stemmed glasses
and sent it crashing to the floor.
'Oh, see what you've made me do!' she exclaimed distressfully, and
knelt to pick up the pieces.
Lyall swore under his breath and came across the room. 'Leave it,'
he said. 'Do you want to cut your hands to pieces? What's the
matter with you? You look like hell.'