With Everything I Am (41 page)

To bury these thoughts and halt the tears she could not shed in front of Maraleena, Sonia looked down at her plate and forced some egg into her mouth.

Then she glared at her crockery on her tray for it, too, was beautiful in a sturdy, handsome way with the bottom of the plate and the outside of the bowls, mugs and jugs being a rich, earthen brown but the inside was a gorgeous, muted turquoise.

Of course, only Callum could have
crockery
that she instantly loved and therefore forced herself to instantly hate.

“…executed them all,” Maraleena was saying as Sonia pushed down the top of the cafetière, her words catching Sonia’s attention.

“Sorry?” Sonia asked.

Maraleena was zipping up an empty suitcase and setting it aside as she looked at Sonia.

“They should have executed them all,” Maraleena repeated.

“Who?”

“The rebels!” Maraleena exclaimed, not ceasing in her endeavors and heading toward another suitcase then repeatedly pulling out Sonia’s jeans and cords and piling them, folded double, on the couch. “A stroke of brilliance, we all think, King Callum handing down the order to slay them one-by-one until they signed the terms of surrender.”

Sonia sucked in breath and the oxygen burned her frozen lungs.

Slay them one-by-one?
Sonia repeated in her brain.

“Nothing less than they deserved,” Maraleena muttered, again oblivious to Sonia’s reaction. “Lots of us feel they shouldn’t have stopped. This has been going on years.
Years!
And what they want, what they’re fighting for! And killing our males for. It’s revolting. Now, finally, it’s over.”

Sonia decided to get her system working by pouring coffee into it which always helped and therefore, with studious precision in an attempt to stop her hand from shaking, she prepared her mug.

Callum had ordered the executions of men.

One-by-one.

Until they did what he wanted.

It was barbaric.

He
was barbaric.

And he was her mate, her husband, now he was her
king!

“Anyway, it’s a happy New Year with this business over and you seated in the lap of your king,” Maraleena declared while hanging Sonia’s pants on hangers. She threw another smile at Sonia as if she hadn’t just been crowing at the deaths of multitudes of men. “Everyone’s really excited.”

“I’m glad,” Sonia replied but her voice sounded choked so she sipped her coffee.

 
It was delicious. But it didn’t help.

“You know,” Sonia started, wishing (desperately) to change the subject in an effort not to go stark, raving mad. “I can do that.”

Maraleena froze while shoving the hangers with her pants on them in the wardrobe.

Slowly, she turned and bowed her head low.

Then, deferentially, she murmured, “Yes, my queen.”

But before her head bowed, Sonia saw a look on her face that was near to tragic.

“What?” Sonia asked before she remembered Callum telling her that Julianna would be offended if Sonia tried to help. So, quickly, she said, “Maraleena, I’m so sorry. I’m human and new to this royal business.” Maraleena’s head came up but her face had lost its cheerfulness as Sonia carried on, “I’m used to doing things for myself.”

“I suspected, as King Callum’s mate, you’d want to take care of him,” Maraleena replied in a dead voice.

Hardly,
Sonia thought but did not say out loud.

“It’s not that, it’s just –” Sonia stopped speaking when the hint of a light of hope lit in Maraleena’s eyes.

Sonia made a decision, put the tray aside and got out of bed. She walked to Maraleena, grabbed the surprised woman’s hand and led her to the couch. Seating them both side-by-side, she faced the tall woman.

Then she explained, “Callum has been kind of busy. He hasn’t had time to tell me about the ways of your people and my people are very different. So, if you would, could
you
tell me what’s happening here because I need to understand it so I can…” Sonia trailed off, not knowing what to say then found her words. “Be a good queen.”

It sounded lame but the hope built in Maraleena’s eyes and, obviously not a woman who needed a lot of coaxing to talk, she did so.

“Well, you see, as King Callum’s mate you can decide to take the running of the castle, you know, the cooking and cleaning and stuff. Queen Regan did it for King Mac.” When she stopped, Sonia smiled and nodded encouragingly for her to go on and the hope dimmed as she began to get nervous but she sallied forth. “But, you see, this is my duty to my king but it’s also…” She hesitated. “My
job
. King Callum pays me to do it and Drogan and I just bought a bigger cottage because our pups are growing and we need the money so if you –”

“You can keep your job,” Sonia cut in swiftly and the light flared bright in Maraleena’s eyes before she pulled a surprised Sonia in her arms and hugged her.

“Really?” she cried then went on before Sonia could reply. “Oh, I’m so happy! I’d been so worried since I heard he claimed you.” She pulled back and looked at Sonia. “Drogan said we shouldn’t get that cottage because we never knew when the king would find his mate and if she’d want the running of the castle.” She beamed. “But I told him not to worry. I had a feeling all would be well and now you’re here and you’re so tiny and pretty and
nice
. And, I know it may sound crazy but I love my job, I love this castle and it’s an honor for anyone to be of service to our king.” She pulled Sonia in her arms and gave her another fierce hug with a whispered, “Thank you.”

Sonia hugged her back thinking she would like Maraleena which was something good in a world that looked pretty dreary and replied, “You’re welcome.”

Maraleena let her go and jumped up, quickly resuming work. “You better finish your breakfast. It’ll get cold and King Callum said you had to finish every bite.”

There it was. A reminder of her dreary world.

Sonia resumed her place in bed with her tray and she stared at the black patties.

“What’s this?” she asked, forking one up and showing it to Maraleena.

“Black sausage,” Maraleena answered after glancing at it and before zipping up another bag and setting it aside.

Something about her answer, though it probably wasn’t her answer, it was probably hysteria, caused Sonia to start giggling but she spoke through her laughter, “I can see that, Maraleena. It’s definitely
black
and it
looks
like a kind of sausage but what
is
it?”

Maraleena grinned at her again and said, “Black sausage, blood sausage, you know, sausage made out of blood.”

Sonia paled.

Maraleena laughed.

“It’s really good. Try it,” Maraleena coaxed.

Sonia gulped.

“Honestly, try it,” Maraleena prompted. “I only get the best in. You’ll love it. King Callum does.”

Of course Callum would love sausage made out of blood. He’d probably drink blood if he could.

Wanting to be a good queen and nice to Maraleena, wincing the whole time, Sonia nibbled at the patty.

It was delicious.

So she decided she hated it.

“Isn’t it lovely?” Maraleena asked with a smile in her voice, watching Sonia closely.

“Yes. Lovely,” Sonia agreed, made a comical face, Maraleena burst out laughing again and got back to work.

As she did so, Sonia forced down too much food that she didn’t want even though she hadn’t eaten in ages. Alternately, when she could get a word in edgewise, she chatted with Maraleena as the woman finished with two more suitcases.

It was while Sonia was gulping down the last bit of toast with a sip of coffee that Callum arrived.

Sonia looked at him and her heart leaped into her throat.

He was wearing the chocolate brown corduroy shirt she bought him for Christmas over jeans that fit him well and a pair of brown boots.

Since yesterday he’d had his hair trimmed but he’d also shaved off the beard.

Completely.

No stubble, nothing.

He was
exactly
the vision of her dream Callum. The vision she’d never seen in real life (except he was clothed).

She was so struck by the picture of him, he was sitting on the bed grinning at her before she realized it.

Then he was leaning in, evading her coffee mug which she was holding aloft
and
her tray, to brush her lips with his.

He pulled only an inch away before he murmured, “Morning, my little one.”

“Morning,” she replied but her voice sounded husky and low.

She cleared her throat.

His grin turned into a smile.

She wanted to conk him in the head with her coffee mug.

“Brilliant.” They both heard muttered from Maraleena and they both turned their heads to look at her.

She was clutching one of Sonia’s sweaters and watching them openly.

“You’re so cute and sweet together,” Maraleena noted, a big, happy grin on her face. “Brilliant. I love it.” Her eyes moved to focus on Callum. “Hi there, your grace, welcome home.”

“Hello, Mara,” Callum returned, shifting so he was sitting in bed beside Sonia.
Close
beside her, his legs straight out in front of him, his back to the headboard and he seized her mug of coffee from her fingers and then took a sip.

Sonia clenched her teeth together at the unwanted (she was telling herself) intimacy.

Maraleena continued folding sweaters like she was in a couple’s bedroom every day seeing to her chores while they lounged in bed.

“Well done with routing the rebels,” Maraleena threw out casually on another sunny smile in their direction.

“Thanks,” Callum replied on a half laugh.

“It’s celebration time,” Maraleena noted gleefully.

“It is that,” Callum murmured on another sip of coffee but his arm was pushing through the pillows at Sonia’s waist where it settled. His hand at her hip, finding the wolf charm through her nightgown and, as ever, he started fiddling with it.

Sonia tried not to look like she was seething while allowing herself, if only in her mind, to
seethe
.

“Can’t wait,” Maraleena muttered as she placed Sonia’s sweaters on a shelf in the wardrobe.

“Mara?” Callum called as he set the mug on the tray and then divested Sonia of it.

Maraleena turned to the bed with her brows raised.

“You want to do me a favor?” Callum asked, holding the tray out to her.

Maraleena’s eyes grew so bright they practically singed the room with their glow.

Then, for some reason, she burst out laughing though Sonia was thinking that Maraleena did that on a regular basis. She rushed forward, nabbed the tray and was out of the room before Sonia could make a peep.

The minute the door closed, Callum turned his body into hers, pulling her down into the bed so her head was on the pillows.

Then he kissed her, soft and sweet but also wet and lingeringly.

It was a great kiss.

Sonia’s body responded but, luckily, her brain did not.

Nevertheless, she was breathing heavier when he lifted his lips from hers.

“Callum,” she whispered.

“You’re here,” he whispered back, his eyes, full-on tawny, roaming her face, his fingers sifting through the hair at the side of her head. “In my arms, in my bed, in my home.”

She had to stop him. She couldn’t listen to this, couldn’t witness it again and want it just as much as she knew he’d never give it to her.

“Callum. I feel strange.” His head cocked to the side at her words and the warm look on his face vanished as his brows shot together. “Not that,” she said swiftly, she couldn’t bear his false, loving concern, not again. “Just, I think jetlag or something. All that food. Everything went so fast yesterday. I feel weird. I think I need a shower and more coffee –”

She stopped speaking because his face relaxed and he touched his mouth to hers.

“Take a shower, baby doll,” he allowed (would she
ever
get used to him telling her what she could and couldn’t do and when she could and couldn’t do it?). “I’ve got a few things to do but I’ll come back and take you on a tour of your new home.” His head bent and he nuzzled her neck a moment before he marked her hair with his temple and lifted his head again. “You’ll take it easy a few days, get acclimatized. Is that good?”

Was he asking like he cared about her answer or was it a rhetorical question?

She answered the only way she could. “That’s good.”

He grinned at her.

She loved his grin just as much as she told herself she hated it.

He pushed away from her and exited the bed.

She looked at the big room and called out to him, “Callum?”

He glanced down at her, brows raised.

“Um, where’s the bathroom?”

She really hoped it wasn’t on another floor or something. That would be awful, climbing down those winding, stone steps should she need the facilities in the middle of the night.

He smiled, planted a fist in the bed on either side of her, touched his lips (again!) to hers, pushed away and then walked across the room and opened a door that was
in
a tapestry. The tapestry was affixed to the door in a way that it looked a seamless part of the bigger tapestry all around it. The doorknob, too, was hidden in the tapestry’s design.

It was very neat and super clever.

She didn’t share this with Callum.

She just threw back the hides (really? who slept under hides?), got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

Callum stalled her progress by hooking an arm around her stomach and she twisted her neck and looked up at him.

“I’m anxious to show you your new home, honey,” he murmured, before kissing her forehead and finishing by ordering gently, but definitely kingly, “You have an hour.”

Then he was gone.

She was glad for the reminder that he was king.

And the reminder that, even if she was queen, and not of his people, she was still nothing but a subject.

* * * * *

The bathroom was (almost) as nice as the bedroom. The walls and floors were still that stone but there was a big, brass towel warmer, a huge circular tub in a very pretty shade of rust and a shower cubical tiled in rich-colored tiles. The ceramic basin was rust-colored and set in more of that mellow golden-red-brown stone. There was a set of shelves inset in a wall with stacks of fluffy, neatly folded towels. The shelves also bore pretty stoneware boxes and trays that Sonia would love to fill with her girlie bits and bobs. There was a huge, round mirror over the basin surrounded on the top half with brass lights. And last, twin, narrow, thin handsome cabinets on the walls on either side of the recessed basin.