With Wings I Soar
Authors: Norah Simone
With Wings I Soar
Norah Simone
Copyright © 2015 by Norah Simone
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
With Wings, I Soar
Tabitha has always found her identity in her perfect family, but when her dad walks out, everything changes. Thrust into a new world of betrayal and brokenness, Tabitha learns what the true meaning of friendship really is.
Contents
Tabitha stared out her window.
The rain was falling harder now, harder than it ever had before.
Tabitha didn't try to wipe away the tears as they fell heavily from her eyes. Her world was ending, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
The front door slammed, followed by the car door. Dad was leaving. It had been a long time coming and now it was finally here. He was going away. He was abandoning her. He was gone. The tears came harder and faster as she watched the tiny Saturn pull out of the driveway and turn down the narrow road.
The world suddenly seemed very big and very scary and very, very unfair.
Tabitha had suspected for weeks now that her parents were unhappy, but that didn't make the reality easier to bear. Mom and Dad rarely spoke to each other. When they did speak, it was only to pick fights or shout obscenities. Nothing they did seemed to work to make things better. Marriage counseling had been a disaster. Reading relationship books had been a nightmare. The only thing that seemed to make them stop fighting was going to work or going to sleep, neither of which was possible to do forever.
Tabitha quickly became skilled at knowing exactly when to put on her headphones and turn up the music. She could block out the arguments and the shouting with just the right song. She could whisk herself away to a world where everything was different. She could imagine she was someone else, somewhere else, doing something else.
But tonight was the night that everything ended for real.
Tonight was the night that Dad finally said goodbye.
Any minute now,
she told herself, choking back a quiet sob and watching the window.
Any minute now, and he'll come back for me. He has to come back for me.
But he didn't, and after hours of watching, waiting, and hoping, she quietly turned away from the window and pulled her tired body into bed. Her pink comforter felt soft against her skin as her body melted into the blankets, grateful for the small comfort the warmth offered her. Mom hadn't come upstairs since the front door slammed.
There was no reason for her to, Tabitha figured, since they both knew what that slam had meant: the end of a marriage.
She closed her eyes and hugged her raggedy teddy bear. Mr. Blue had been Tabitha's favorite toy as a child, and while she kept him around for sentimental value, hugging him always brought back memories of a time long ago when her family had been happy. Tabitha closed her eyes and held Mr. Blue tightly, wishing he could somehow take away this pain. Tabitha didn't consider herself to be sheltered, but she had never experienced a heartache this physically painful before. It literally hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. It hurt to be her.
Closing her eyes, she drifted off into a restless sleep, hoping she would wake up and the world would be fresh again.
It wouldn't.
Tabitha woke the next morning. Delicate rays of sunshine glided through her window, casting streams of light on the floor. A bird chirped somewhere outside, singing a song of joy. Tabitha sat up in bed and looked outside, taking a deep breath. She looked around, feeling ready to start her day, wondering what Mom was making for breakfast, wondering what they were going to do today.
Then it hit her.
She remembered what happened the night before.
Dad.
He was gone.
There were no words to express the way Tabitha felt, knowing that her father had vanished, but not knowing how long he was gone for. There was no way to explain what she was feeling. She could do nothing but physically feel the pain of losing a parent and that pain settled in her stomach.
Her body gave way before she knew what was happening and she began vomiting on the bedroom floor with loud heaves.
Mom must have heard the noise because she appeared in the doorway a few minutes later with some towels and began quietly cleaning up the mess. Tabitha said nothing as she watched her mother work. There was nothing to say.
“I’m sorry for puking on the floor because my dad abandoned us” wasn’t really something that would make the situation any better.
Instead of trying to find a way to connect with her mother emotionally, Tabitha just watched her, looking at her. She just stared at this woman who had created her and wondered what they were going to do now that they were all alone.
Mom was beautiful, even by a teenager's standards. Her brunette hair fell gracefully over her shoulders in soft, delicate waves, highlighting her angular face and feminine features. Despite pushing 35, her skin remained soft, youthful, and blemish-free, and her piercing green eyes matched Tabitha's own. Tabitha was a miniature copy of her mother, she often thought, and Mom's gracefulness and kindness made Tabitha proud to look like her.
Mom stood quietly and carried the dirty towels from the room. She returned a few minutes later with disinfectant spray to kill any germs remaining on the solid wood floorboards of Tabitha's tiny second-story bedroom.
“Mom?” Tabitha asked quietly. Mom didn't respond, she simply made a small noise to let Tabitha know she was listening. “Mom, what's going to happen to us now?”
Tabitha's mother had been a stay at home mom for years, choosing to forfeit a career in order to homeschool Tabitha. She had no income of her own, and Tabitha knew that the family had very little, if any, savings. It was only last summer that Mom and Dad had decided to build the back porch and remodel the kitchen. Surely that had eaten up a large chunk of their savings account.
Mom stopped scrubbing the floor and sat back to look at Tabitha.
“I called Uncle Nick,” she said slowly. “He's going to give me a job at his office. It's during the day, though, so you'll transfer to Mitchell High next week." Mom paused for a moment, letting this news sink in. Tabitha had never been to a brick-and-mortar school before. She had never known any teacher but her mother.
She opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out.
"I've already called the principal and explained the situation. You took your standardized tests this summer, so you won't need any placement exams before you can start school. I'll drop off your scores this afternoon and pick up your new class schedule.”
Tabitha's stomach ached and she curled up in a ball on her bed, staring at her mother.
“Mitchell High?” Tabitha asked nervously. “Can't I just be home schooled at night after you get home from work?” It could work, right? She was old enough to be home alone during the day. She was trustworthy. Lots of people went to school at night during college. Couldn't it work for high school, too?
Mom patted Tabitha's hand gently.
“I know it's a change, sweetie, but you'll be with Katie, so you'll know at least one person.”
Katie was Tabitha's best friend. An Army brat, Katie had only lived in town for two years. Her dad had just deployed overseas for the second time. Katie missed him terribly, but she kept her spirits up by writing him letters every day and sending care packages once a week. Katie was spunky, bold, and brave. She never let anyone see her cry, even though Tabitha knew she would give anything to have her dad home, even just for a little while.
“We'll go to the store this afternoon and buy you a backpack,” Mom continued. “You'll need it to carry your books to school.”
Tabitha sighed. She had taken for granted how convenient it was to attend school in her kitchen. She never needed new school clothes or a backpack; she had always just waltzed downstairs in her pajamas and started her lessons when she woke up. Now things were about to change dramatically. A sinking feeling filled her stomach. She just wanted Dad back. She just wanted her parents to be happy again.
What changed?
She wondered. A year ago they had been blissfully content. Now any hope of normalcy was gone from Tabitha's life. Now she had to go to school. Now she had to carry her books around. Now she had to dress a certain way and act a certain way and be a certain way.
And it was all a lot to live up to.
It was a lot to take in all at once.
Tabitha's heart cracked as Mom stood to leave the room. Loneliness flooded her body as she wondered when she would see Dad again. Her mother stopped in the doorway and gave Tabitha a sorrowful look.
“It's going to be okay,” she promised, but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Tabitha.
Tabitha's alarm clocked blared at her noisily. It was much too early to be awake, especially on a Monday. Finally shutting off the noisemaker, Tabitha rolled lazily out of bed and sat on the floor for a few moments. She yawned and stretched, taking her time to wake up. A few minutes passed, and Mom knocked on the door.
“Ready, sweetie? You don't want to be late today.”
Tabitha nodded and hurried down the hall to the bathroom. A quick shower was just what she needed to wake up. Tabitha took her time showering, soaking up the warmth of the water and postponing her inevitable day. Mom knocked on the door and told her to hurry, so Tabitha hopped out and got dressed. She picked a comfortable pair of jeans and a blue long-sleeved shirt to wear. Her jacket was in her backpack in case the skies decided to rain again.
Tabitha ran down the wooden stairs at the end of the hallway, jumping over the bottom stair as she had always done. She smiled to herself, remembering when she used to jump that bottom step and land in Dad's waiting arms. He was always there to catch her and protect her. Her smile faded.
Not anymore,
she chided herself, remembering that she needed to be strong and not worry about Dad right now. Her only concern was surviving her first day of high school.
As Tabitha sat at the table and poured herself a bowl of cold cereal, Mom entered the room. Tabitha liked the dress Mom had chosen for her first day of work. It was light blue and had tiny white snowflakes twinkling across its entirety. Mom's matching white sweater would keep her warm in her chilly office. Tabitha smiled as she thought about Uncle Nick and his suave persona. He refused to turn the heat on in his office building until there was snow on the ground. It was his way of conserving energy, and although his employees would arrive at work in sweatshirts and winter coats, complaining about the possibility of frostbite, his office policy had been in place as long as Tabitha could remember.
Tabitha finished her cereal and placed her bowl in the sink.
“Bye mom,” she said, planting a soft kiss on Mom's cheek. “I hope you have a really good day.”
Mom smiled and wrapped Tabitha in a warm hug. The two embraced for a few minutes, but then it was time for them to go their separate ways. Mom had offered to drive Tabitha to school for her first day, but Tabitha wanted to walk with Katie, who lived just a few blocks away.
Tabitha headed down the street, enjoying the gentle chill that autumn offered her. Although it was mid-November, most of the trees were hanging on to their leaves, not wanting to let the seasons pass, not just yet. The recent rainstorms were aching to freeze into luscious snowflakes, but it wasn't quite cold enough for the raindrops to turn. Their transformation into snowflakes would be a beautiful one when the time was right.
Katie was sitting on the front porch reading when Tabitha arrived. The girl's wavy blonde hair dangled over her 9
th
grade history textbook as she chewed nervously on the end of her yellow highlighter, ready to note any important passages in the textbook. Katie was a straight-A student, but she was especially fond of history and hoped to one day become a historian and work in a museum or at a National Historic landmark.
Tabitha's tennis shoe crunched one of the fallen brown leaves littering Katie's yard, alerting the girl to her friend's presence. Katie looked up and smiled at Tabitha before shoving her book inside her backpack and running down the steps of her narrow front porch.
“Hey Tabby,” Katie hugged her friend. “Ready for your first day?”
“As ready as I can be,” Tabitha said, suddenly overwhelmed with dread. It would be her very first time in a public school. She wondered if the other students would like her, or if she would be as awkward and alone as she felt at this moment.
Only time would tell.