Within the Candle's Glow (35 page)

“Then, we might see the waterfall from it?” Her oval face lit with interest. “Let’s go.”

Samuel shook his head. “It’s falling down.” He noticed Deer lift his
head, sniff the air, and stare at something along the section of woods to the right.

Instantly, the animal jumped down and trotted away.

“I want to see it.”

“Not today.” He knew using one hand to climb into the old tree fort would be awkward, and he didn’t want to face her pity.

“Samuel, at least let me see it from the ground.”

He sighed and beckoned to her.

A few minutes later, they stood and gazed at the rickety ladder that led to his childhood haunt. Bitterness washed through him. He couldn’t even do what a child could do—climb a stupid wooden ladder.

“Let’s try it,” she said.

“You go up if you want.” He backed away.

Without hesitating, she reached for the rung just over her head. With her booted feet, she tried to kick her long skirt out of the way and obtain a foothold on the rungs. She laughed. “I cain’t see what I’m doin’.
Ugh!
Don’t watch. I might be unladylike.” She hung on with one hand and reached to lift her skirt with the other.

Samuel wished things were different. Showing her a part of his childhood should’ve been fun.

“I made it!” Her laughter rippled through the silence, and her cheeks blazed with new color. “Please, hook your right arm over the rungs an’ climb up.”

“No.” He stepped away from the ladder’s base. Performing everyday duties proved difficult with his right hand gone—let alone climbing a stupid ladder. His injury would be uncovered. He shoved his wrist deeper into his pocket. The movement caused him to lean slightly to the right.

“Why not?” She squinted in the sunlight gleaming through the trees. New leaves hung near her head. “Samuel, I’ve
seen
your injury. I helped Granny do what had to be done after you were brought to her. It don’t bother me to look at you or
touch
you. I’ve known you too long. You plastered blueberries on my face. That’s how well we know each other. An’ you …
kissed
me.” She stammered at her last words, but her bright eyes sparkled with fun.

“I’m no longer the same.” He gazed up at her. “Can’t
you
tell?” He let irritation seep into his voice.

“Yes.” She sighed and stared at the woods. “You fight our friendship. It … hurts.” Her voice broke with emotion.

The dog barked somewhere in the woods.

“Ella Dessa, I’m sorry.”

“Then climb up. I’ll help you over the top edge.” She playfully wiggled her fingers. “Sam, you missin’ a hand don’t bother me.”

“I said no.”

“Then I’m comin’ down.”

Within seconds, she jumped the last couple of feet and landed on the dirt. He felt her small hands close on his right forearm. She tugged.

“Get it out of your pocket. It’s time you face it. Act more like the Samuel I know. I
miss him
. He was tough.”

“
Stop it
.” He spun and freed his damaged arm from her warm touch. Instantly, without giving thought to his actions, he viciously shoved the discolored, scarred end into her face—almost hitting her nose. “
See it?
Satisfied?”

“You’re … cruel.” She covered her mouth with one hand and swayed.

Samuel gazed downward. His arm ended slightly above the wrist. Reddened patches of flesh marked where Granny had sewn a flap of skin over the stub and closed the crude amputation. When he dropped his arm, the sleeve of his shirt hid the horrific damage.

He groaned with instant regret at his nasty actions. “I’m
sorry
.”

“Samuel, let’s
choose
to care ‘bout one another.”

He heard the quiver in her voice. “You don’t want that.”

“Yes, I do. It’s a blessin’ you lived! I have scars.
Awful
ones!”

“I don’t demand you expose your
ugly
scars.” He shocked himself with his mean words.

“I know they’re ugly, but you’d reject me ‘cause of ‘em?” Tears shimmered in her eyes.

A trickle of sweat ran the side of his face.

“Samuel, I thought we were friends forever.” Her white lips formed a straight line.

“Don’t come here anymore.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes, I do. I will figure things out for myself, without
your
implied help or God’s intervention.”

She lifted a hand as if to ward off his words.

“
Listen
to me. I’m not a
whole man
. I can’t plow, saddle a horse, hitch up a wagon, or pen a letter! So,
stay away
from me. Don’t come to visit me—even if my sister
begs
you.”

With a sob, Ella Dessa fled. She ran with her dark-green skirt
billowing behind her. Instead of following the path back to the field where Jim worked, she veered into the edge of the woods. Samuel heard her ragged sobs—even after the trees closed around her.

He let out one harsh cry of regret and rubbed at his face with his left hand. He had accomplished the destruction of their friendship. There was no going back.

E
lla ran the first hundred feet of a zigzagging, rocky trail. She put distance between Samuel and herself, despite the danger of twisting an ankle. Her skirt tangled about her legs. With hiccupped sobs, she crumpled into a heap and pressed her hands against her cheeks. Deer was at her side within minutes.

Why had her world turned upside down?

She failed to understand Samuel’s shocking behavior. Never in the past had he been cruel about her neck. All she could hear was his terse words about her
ugly
scars.

“Dear God, what’s
wrong
with him? He’s hurtin’! I don’t know what more to do!”

Deer poked his cold nose against her cheek and whimpered. When she didn’t respond, he gave a tiny yip and demanded attention. She wrapped one arm around his back. Content, he gave her face sloppy licks.

“
Ugh
, thanks,” she muttered, despite her misery. She scrubbed at her face, erasing tears and doggie kisses.

She cuddled the dog’s panting body and recalled the day Samuel kissed her in the blueberry patch. That kiss had aroused passion she never dreamed could exist. Now, Ella accepted the truth. She loved
Samuel, but it wasn’t as a woman loves the man of her dreams. She closed her eyes, realizing Peggy’s idea of her marrying Samuel would never have worked. But the loss of his friendship would hurt forever.

Only the dog heard her whispered confession.

“I’ve tried to cleanse Jim out of my heart. I
wanted
to help Samuel in body and mind, even if he needed me as a wife. I failed.” She was more alone than ever after experiencing Samuel’s unusual hostility.

A twig cracked.

Deer growled. Golden tan hair stood erect along his back and around his neck.

“Hush!” She laid her hand on his head and bade him to hold still.

Josh stood twenty feet away, his back to the dense foliage. Tree limbs bounced and indicated where he stepped from a clump of young maples with new leaves. At the end of his long arm, he clenched an old musket.

With a wild yelp, Deer bolted at the man and then retreated, only to do a stiff-legged circle around him. Menacing sounds erupted from the dog’s throat.

“Josh?” She struggled to her feet, hampered by a tangled skirt. “What are you doin’ up here?”

Deer trotted back to her on rigid legs, but continued to snarl.

“He hurt you.”

“My dog? He didn’t—”

“Samuel.”

“
What?
” She swallowed and disregarded the tingle of disquiet she felt.

“I seen you an’ him.” He stepped closer and ignored the dog’s displeasure.

“In the field?
By the stream
?” A surge of adrenaline charged through her. Her legs yearned to run.

“Yes, an’ I heard the words he yelled. See—he ain’t the one fer you.”

Deer continued to growl.

Ella’s heart fluttered and left her breathless. The urge to run made her legs tremble. “Deer,
hush
.” She bent, grasped the dog by the scruff of the neck, and forced him to sit at her feet. She glared at Josh. “It were
you
my dog barked at.”

“You trained ‘im good.” He waved at a flying insect near his face.

“He just don’t want you near me.” She straightened and rubbed sweaty palms on her skirt. “Josh—”

“I ain’t lettin’ you be abused.”

“I’m not
abused
. Leave me alone.” She turned on the rock-strewn path, her boots slipping on loose gravel and sticks as she stumbled away.

Deer kept with her for a few paces and then stopped to growl.

“Wait. I want to talk.” Josh followed her. “The time has come.
Stop an’ talk
.” His words sounded brittle.

“’Bout
what?
” She whirled to face him, but Josh’s lonely expression made her pause.

“You don’t care fer me.” He stood in the trail, scuffing his feet over the tree roots and small rocks. “I see it in yer eyes.”

She placed her hands on her hips. “Josh, I don’t like the way you threaten me an’ follow me.”

Deer sat in front of her and whimpered, seemingly unsure what he should do.

“Is yer dog goin’ to bite me?” His question had a boyish tone to it.

“He might. I’m not sayin’ he won’t if you step closer.”

“I ain’t wantin’ to hurt him.”

“Josh, I need to go home. We can talk some other time. It’s growin’ late, and everyone will wonder if I don’t go back to get Walter’s horse.”

“You don’t need a horse,” he muttered, as if mulling over an unsolved problem in his head. “Walter—he tolt me to leave you alone. I don’t like ‘im.” He tapped his ragged hat upward with his thumb and combed skinny fingers through the coarse hair hanging in his eyes.

“I need to be on my way.”

“No.” With his eyes fixed on her, he approached. “Things can change. We got to thrash things out.”

“What
things?
There’s nothin’ to thrash or discuss.” She backed away, feeling a thread of danger weave into the air between them—like a rattler raising its head.

Deer must’ve sensed the same thing. With his tail tucked, he ran a wide circle around Josh and charged at the man’s right leg.

Josh raised his weapon.

“
No!
Josh!”

The stock of the long gun walloped Deer. The blow sent the dog’s compact body tumbling off the trail and over an incline. His yelps continued, and he floundered in a layer of fallen leaves. Ella rushed to climb down the rocks, but Josh’s left arm seized her around the waist and brought her to a jarring halt.

“Let go!” She kicked at his legs and slapped any part of him she could reach. “You hurt him! You
idiot!
”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered and maintained his grip. His fingers pressed into the ribs on her right side, causing pain. He tightened his hold. “Stop kickin’.”

The dog grew quiet. The bushes stopped quaking with his struggles.

“I need … to go to him.” Her fingernails dug at Josh’s arm.

“No,
stop
!” He shook his head. “I didn’t mean to hurt the dog, but now you gotta go with me. Go.” He pointed back down the old trail, released her, and shoved his hand against the center of her back.

With wobbly knees, she stumbled a few feet. Fear bathed her in numbness. In her head, she still heard the dog’s pitiful whimpers, and she mouthed the silent words,
Oh, God help me and my dog.

Josh stepped forward, shouldered his weapon, and gripped her right hand with his dirty, callused fingers. He pulled her onto a narrow trail and shoved her forward.

“You killed ‘im.” She rubbed her hand on her skirt, and tears trickled down her cheeks.

Keep calm. He’ll let you go.

But time slipped by without him saying a word, and he prodded her in the back when she hesitated. She shivered with mounting fear. They hiked downward and switched trails one more time. The woods grew quiet, filled with menacing shadows. Late afternoon gave way to evening.