Within The Shadows (11 page)

She pleaded
with me, but the look in Afanas’s eyes told me to end the
conversation.

“
I can’t, Mom. I just can’t. I’m sorry. I’ll call you soon.
I love you.” I cut her off before she could say any more, and
cried.

Afanas put
his cold hands on mine. My tears fell uncontrollably over my
reddened cheeks.

“
Don’t burden yourself with such grief. Things are better
this way. I think it would best that you retire for the rest of the
evening. It will do you some good.”

I whispered, “Okay,” as I
sobbed, walking to the door.

Leaving the
room, I walked in a daze down the hall. The cold air caused by the
wind crept in through every gap and crevice in the vacant hall. It
whistled eerily as I tried to control my emotions. I felt
depressed, and lacked the will to carry on. I wanted to end it all.
Maybe death would help me escape this nightmare. Suicide could not
be any worse than what I was going through.

A loud crash
caught my attention. I spun round, realising one of the bay windows
had opened. The curtains flew angrily over me as I stretched out to
grab a hold of the handle. Looking down, I considered how high I
was. Just high enough to cause serious damage. Maybe even fatal
damage.

Breathing
heavily, I grabbed a hold of the windowsill, balancing myself as I
placed my legs over the ledge. The wind violently blew my dress
around my legs, its coldness meeting the warmth of my body, and
sending a series of shivers through me. Closing my eyes, I slowly
let go of the windowsill, and edged slightly forward.

“
If you’re serious, I can help you think of less painful
ways to die.” A voice came from behind me.

Antoine.

“
But I doubt you are serious at all,” he mocked.

“
You don’t know me. Okay! Don’t you dare try to assume what
I’m capable of.”

“
Then jump. I dare you.”

The words
echoed through my head, and for a split second, I let go of the
ledge, and leaned forward. Gazing at the ground below, I seriously
considered ending it all. As Wilde himself stated, ‘The only way to
get rid of temptation is to yield to it,’ and boy, was I
yielding.

I felt
Antoine’s hand slide around my waist. Aromas of roasted nuts,
apples, and cocoa danced in my nose. I inhaled the infusion, and
let him pull me clear of the window ledge. Once I was in the safety
of the hall, he quickly let go. His dark blue eyes fixed on
mine.

“
What in hell’s name were you thinking of?” He raised his
voice, but not loud enough to attract unwanted
attention.

I stood
trembling. The realisation of what I had almost done hit me smack
in the face. “I . . . I . . . I can’t take anymore of this. I’m
just not strong enough.”

“
So you decide to climb out of a four storey
window?”

“
It seemed
right at the time.”

“
How could you think killing yourself would solve anything?”
There was genuine concern in his voice.

“
I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling any more. I . . .
I wish I’d wake up. That this was all some bad dream.”

“
Giselle, I can’t even compare myself with you, but I can
offer you this, I think it takes a strong-willed person to turn
their fates around. I believe you are strong enough to overcome
your fears, and embrace your new life. After all, if you were to
return to your ‘normal life,’ things would never be the same. You
would have a hunger, and nothing you’d consume would ever satisfy
you. You must realise that!”

“
I don’t know, Antoine. I mean, I’m just some high school
girl who believed in happily-ever-afters. My heart got broken, and
now this . . . I don’t love him. I can’t. Too much has happened,
but he’s got some kind of power over me. I lose control of all my
senses, and something takes over . . . I hate it!” I
wept.

Crying in
his arms felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
Antoine was very different from Alex. He listened, and offered
advice. He knew all the right things to say. He seemed so real. He
attentively brushed my hair as I sobbed into his chest. I held onto
him tightly, afraid to let go, but I was also afraid that
temptation would latch on to my weaknesses. If it were not for the
red glow of his eyes, I could not have felt more at
home.

Chapter
Nine

SHOCKED BY
MY
sudden feelings towards Antoine, I
pulled myself out of his arms. Awkwardness replaced the warmth of
our embrace. I found myself clamming up, embarrassed by my feeble
attempt at suicide. His deep blue eyes fixed their gaze on mine.
Ignoring their lure, I made light of the encounter, trying
desperately to focus on something other than him.

“
I guess I better go. I’m pretty sure Alex will be worried.
Thanks for not letting me fall to my death.”

Smiling, his
fangs glistened in the moonlight. “I would save you no matter how
grim your fate was. And if I were Alexander, I’d be worried, too.
Good day, sweet Princess.”

Bowing
before me, he looked up at me. His eyes spoke a thousand words, and
at that moment, my heart melted.

Wake up
, girl! What
are you thinking of?

I rushed
back to the room, not once looking back to see
if Antoine watching me. I felt guilty. I knew I had not
done anything wrong, but thinking about another while my ‘new
husband’ slept was not the act of a ‘good’ wife. Trying to
concentrate on the day/night ahead, I indulged myself in a hot
soapy bath. I avoided looking at the darkness between my breasts,
and allowed my body to be submerged by the bubbles.

Heaven.

I felt his
presence before he spoke. His scent was unique, and I was now fully
aware of his every move. Alex was now a part of me. He was a
permanent fixture in my life, and there was no escape from it or
from him.

“
Is there room for one more?” he asked.

“
Sure, but it’s getting kinda cold now.” I tried not to
sound disinterested. After all, we were meant to be in the throes
of newly wedded passion. It did not bother him. He stepped out of
his robe, and climbed into the tub behind me.

As he pulled
me back, I rested my head against his chest. His arms were strong
and muscular, and they wrapped themselves around me, holding me
tightly, refusing to let go. His complexion was much paler than
mine, but not a deathly white, more of a soft pearl. He was
beautiful, too beautiful for me. I was nothing compared to him. I
knew girls back home who were more curvaceous and drop dead
gorgeous, girls more his type. I was just your normal girl next
door. Nothing striking, except for the darkness that grew
within.

“
What is it that bothers you so much?” he
prodded.

“
I’m okay. I’m just so tired . . . mentally.”

“
Oh,
why?”

I laughed
hysterically. “Oh, my God, Alex. This is all so wrong!”

He pushed me
off him. I turned round to face him. “You didn’t say that last
night. I heard no complaints.”

“
Of course, you didn’t. You did that thing . . . You make me
lose control. I hate that you never give me a choice. I haven’t had
a say in any of this. If you love me, why use some weird vampire
thing on me? Why not let me decide how far I want things to
go?”

I got out of
the tub, and wrapped his robe around me. He followed behind me,
shouting at me.

“
Yeah, so what? I used a little compulsion on you. It’s not
exactly against my work ethic. Besides, you would never have given
yourself to me willingly. You’re still too hung up on that loser,
Marc.”

“
Marc? What has he got to do with any of this? If I remember
right, it was you who bit me, and did some weird thing to my body.
And now I’m married to you. This is all your doing. It has never
been about love. It’s been about you and your family’s selfish
needs. I am just the piggy in the middle. The glorified incubator
for the bastard spawn of a vampire.”

He hit me
full smack across the face. I fell back, and hit my head on the
ground. Shocked, tears filled my eyes. Holding a hand to my cheek,
I looked away from him. Trying to get up off of the floor, I
stumbled, and fell back down. I gave in to the
dizziness.

Holding in
my cry, I watched him walk over to me. Naked and wet, he bent down
in front of me. He brushed the cheek he’d hit. I saw regret blaze
across his face, but his words were cold.

“
Do not ever talk to me like that again!”

“
I . . . I didn’t mean anything.”

“
Yes. You. Did. You forget, I know you better than you know
yourself. Remember, I have spent a long time waiting for you, but I
am no fool, and I will not have you, my wife, speak to me with such
venom. Now, clean yourself up. We must feed.”

Food was the
last thing on my mind. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, to
sink into self-pity. I was hurt he’d hit me, and angry that I
allowed him to get away with it. I knew I was not a match for him,
and never would be. For all I knew, if I were to ignore his
requests, things would probably get a lot worse, and I was not
really in the mood to gamble.

I put on a
pair of tight-fitting jeans and a red cami top. Drying my hair, my
stomach made some familiar noises, and I knew food was probably a
necessity. My thirst was hard to ignore, and even in my emotional
state, it was overwhelming.

As I walked
alongside Alex, neither of us spoke. Obvious tension surrounded us
as we walked into a large marbled room. We were met with Atarah and
Leonid’s interested gazes. She sat demurely while gesturing to a
small-framed girl who did not make eye contact with either of them.
She retreated, and walked over to us.

Her posture
was bad, and I was startled by how young she clearly was. She could
not have been more than fifteen. Her golden hair was tied back in a
tight bun. Her face was pretty, although dark circles sat under her
ashen blue eyes, and her lips were plump and red. She made no
attempt to smile or frown. Her expression was blank and lifeless. I
instantly felt sorry for her.

“
Please, follow me, Your Majesties,” she requested. Her
voice was quiet and sad.

She took us
to a small room that led off from where Atarah and Leonid sat
sipping from crystal wine glasses. Walking inside, the sweet aroma
was the first thing to hit my senses.

Blood.

A burst of
excitement filled me. Looking around the room, I saw a skinny
redheaded woman sitting back on a berry chaise lounge. A fire
crackled in the background. Its heat made the air warm, and
increased the burning thirst at the back of my throat.

Alex took me
by the hand, and led me to her. She sat upright, a hunger in her
own eyes. “Giselle, this is Natalia. She will be your donor
tonight.”

I was taken
aback, and shocked. I sat down beside her, nervously smiling. On
the table beside her was a row of peculiar looking daggers. Each
had a different symbol on its head, similar to the emblem Afanas
wore on his face. Unlike Alex, I did not have fangs, and required a
different method to obtain the blood.

Natalia
reached over
, and picked the smallest
dagger. Cutting deep into her inner thigh, I gasped in horror.
Opening her leg wide, she waited for me to move close to the wound.
I felt disgusted that another woman wanted me near her, never mind
to drink from her, but the scent of the sweet intoxicating fluid
was too much to resist. Kneeling down, I slipped my tongue over the
gash, and instantly, the impulse of resistance left me.

T
he blood trickled downwards. Its
syrupy texture enticed my thirst. I gave in, and found myself
drinking the luxurious claret, letting it fill my mouth. Its
velveteen texture exploded, and satisfied the greed that consumed
me.

I pulled
myself away from her.
I looked deep into
her eyes, and she gasped. It was then I had my first taste of a
soul. It poured into me. The impact was like a thousand fireworks
exploding inside me. Its fireball plunged within me, and I felt an
instant satisfaction caused by the energy itself. I had never
tasted anything so beautiful.

Shocked and
bewildered, I stared at Natalia. She rested her head on the back of
the lounger. Her eyes were sleepy, and her face looked withdrawn.
She was now a shadow of the person I had seen when I first came
into the room.

Alex placed
his hands on my shoulders, urging me to move. I walked to the side
of the fireplace, and stared at the flames dancing along the wooden
logs. Alex took my place on the chaise lounge, and proceeded to
move his mouth over Natalia’s neck. She let out a small cry. Before
long, the cry turned into something else, pleasure.

For a
moment, a pang of jealousy came over me.
Alex was my husband, and seeing him feed from this stranger
made my insides twist with anger. I could not help the feelings I
felt, and surprised myself with the disgust that consumed me. I
wanted to rip her throat out in order to make sure Alex would never
be able to feed from her again. Uncomfortable, I cleared my
throat.