She didn’t say anything until we reached the edge of my driveway, where she pointed for me to turn right. “What if I told you I was already helping him…would that make you mad?” she asked.
I was speechless for a second. “Um…no…confused, but not mad,” I finally answered. “How?”
“Just by being around him,” she answered.
“When have you been around him?” I asked, feeling somewhat betrayed. Not that she was with him, but because she was hiding what she was fighting from me....her dreams and how they were starting to come to life.....I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing - if the other guy appeared out of no where, there was no telling what Madison would go through. I just wanted her to trust me enough to help her through what was coming right at her - us.
“Last night,” she quietly answered.
“Really? Like, all night?” I asked, trying to hide the heat in my cheeks. The thought of them together almost embarrassed me – like two worlds that shouldn’t collide were – but at the same time, I wanted them to because that meant that I had more time than I thought. If Britain was distracted, he would try and take my light or whatever it was, and Draven wouldn’t stop it...I was starting to think we could beat this curse.
“No, not all night; most of it…I was with Draven when he went to ask him where you were…Draven left…I stayed…I stayed to understand everything more clearly. I wanted to know why he thought my light matched yours in that realm…why at that moment he seemed more interested in me than he ever has been in you.”
“Did you find out anything?” I asked as I took the turn she told me to take.
“I’m sure Draven told you what I know…honestly, we just stared at each other most of the time…trying to see past this life…somewhere in a forgotten past.”
“Did you mange to see?” I said as I glanced at her. Half of me wanted to see my past – the other half of me was terrified to know what sacrifice I’d made to be here.
“I saw an epic fight between us – one where neither of us could find the will to end the other…it was like watching some kind of movie. I could feel the emotions of the moment, but I was disconnected – like I didn’t understand it enough to own it as my memory.”
“But it was enough to make you want to help him if we get pulled into that realm or something...enough to help me balance everything there – like you care about him, right?” I clarified.
“I helped the damned souls find their light...Britain is a dammed soul…helping you in any moment you need me to is not an outrageous request; it’s something I’d do if you asked or not.”
We had reached town, and she’d pointed for me to turn down the streets that outlined the block.
She had a point: no one said it had to be some, like, commitment – that I’d have to prove how much I loved anyone in order to save their life; in fact, if they had, Britain never had hope – not when it came to my heart. I was only told something about my light…I just had to figure out how to give that to Draven – give him what he needed to stay good, but not enough to entice Silas to end him. I sighed in relief…I don’t know why I thought it would be harder, or even impossible, to get Madison to help me. That’s what we do: help – help the damned.
When we turned on the next road she told me to, I saw the gothic graveyard where I’d spent yesterday afternoon just ahead. My heart started to pound as I remembered my moments alone with Silas there – those memories that raced through my mind once his lips left mine.
“Parallel up here; the shop is right there,” Madison said.
Kara pulled ahead of us and parked on the corner. I took in a deep breath. Right now, I almost wanted to feel the calm Silas had given me. Even though I’d agreed to this almost instantly, I was terrified of getting a tattoo.
I got out and slowly walked across the street, gazing at the edge of the graveyard. I could see the side of the gazebo from here…it was empty. I saw a single white butterfly flutter from behind one of the stones, and an innocent smile came to the corners of my lips as my memory allowed me to feel the slightest bit calmer.
“I can’t believe they talked you into signing for me,” I said as Kara reached me.
She raised her eyebrows as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “This, you don’t believe? Out of everything you’ve seen – this seems odd to you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved her sarcasm; it was never as harsh as mine, but the truth was always there.
“Right,” I said as my eyes moved back to the butterfly that had come closer to me. The closer it was, the calmer I felt.
In a daze, I followed Kara and Madison in the shop. We were the only ones there, which made things so much easier than they could be. I took a seat in the chair while Kara filled out the paperwork and Madison went over the details she wanted in our Ankhs. My eyes rose to a part of the window that wasn’t blacked out by paint. My butterfly was there.
I held my stare on its wings, which seemed to move with my breath. I didn’t listen to the instructions the artist was giving me or even bother to look over the sketch; in fact, I barley flinched as I felt the needle and the burning, annoying pain that was coursing through my wrist. The butterfly had managed to completely distract me, so much so that the artist had to snap his fingers in front of my face to get my attention. When he was done, I broke my stare with the wings of the butterfly and looked down at my wrist. There was a bold, yet delicate Ankh there now, and in the loop of the cross there was one star.
“Do you like it, birthday girl?” the artist asked.
I nodded.
“Not very talkative, are you?” he said as he rubbed a clear cream across it, then covered it with a white bandage.
“A lot on my mind,” I mumbled.
He smirked. “Well, I must at admit, you were very easy to ink for a first timer – still.”
“Thanks,” I said as I got up, allowing Madison to take her turn.
As Kara walked over to me and reached for my wrist, her cool fingertips ran across my bandage. “Looks beautiful. I hope it’ll keep you as safe as Madison promised.”
“I’ll keep myself safe. I just have to worry about keeping myself calm.”
She nodded as she looked over me carefully. I knew her well enough to know that she had a thousand words she wanted to say to me, but she held herself back; for my benefit or hers, I wasn’t sure.
“I guess I’m going to get back – make sure Monroe has lunch. Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m good. I have stuff to do.”
“When are you coming home?” she asked.
“When I find a way to leave home,” I answered, finding confidence in my words.
“If you need anything – anything – you call me,” she said as she reached to hug me.
I nodded as she let me go, and my eyes instantly moved back to the blacked out window pane. As I walked closer, I noticed that the butterfly was still on the edge of the seal.
Another one came, then another – and my heart began to flutter as the thought that Silas was close came to me. I was instantly furious with myself; I felt guilty for wanting to see him again. I thought about running out the door to find him, to try once more to convince him to leave Draven alone or at the very least, tell me how to help him, save him - but I fought that urge. I didn’t want to leave Madison in the middle of this life-changing moment; instead, I walked to her side and nervously paced as the artist began to fill in the ankh.
“I guess she’s not still anymore,” the artist said with an awkward grin on his face.
Madison smiled nervously, then locked eyes with me. I saw something there that I hadn’t seen in a long time: confidence, a clear course in her mind. It was as if the tattoo were marking the path of her fate, leading her to where her thoughts would wander when she stared into space.
I asked the simple question: Who’s in your dreams? But, she was blocking me, keeping that part of her hidden away. One of the biggest fears that danced in the back of my mind was that her fate – the one that was haunting her – was far more dangerous than the battle I was about to face.
Once the artist finished her tattoo, it reflected the exact one on my wrist. I smiled slightly. “Guess it’ll be hard to ever forget you now.”
“I could say the same about you,” she replied with her predicable wit.
While she paid, I stepped outside, looking for my butterflies. As soon as I questioned where they may be, they appeared fluttering around me; there were only a few, but they were just as breathtaking as the thousands I’d seen last night near the pond. A warm calm eased through me, and I closed my eyes as I felt the ever growing addiction of Silas’ energy. He was Draven’s perfect opposite, placid where Draven was electrifying.
The door dinged as Madison came out. I felt her nudge me with her shoulder.
“Are you sleeping?” she asked in a teasing manner.
I opened my eyes to see that all of my butterflies had vanished. The warm sensation of Silas’ energy slowly faded from my soul.
“Just thinking,” I mumbled.
“Where to?” she asked.
I reached in my bag and pulled out the note Monroe had given me. “Here – to find Austin.”
“Do you have a backup plan if he’s not back? Maybe we should spend more energy thinking about Bianca.”
The sting in her voice told me that beyond her dreams, Bianca was the only thing plaguing her thoughts; that for some reason, she saw her as more of an enemy than I did. I assumed it was because she was developing feelings for Britain, even though deep down I knew there was more to it.
“I told you, one way or another I was going to find Austin. I’m gonna step into Wesley’s memories, go to this Chara place, and find someone – anyone – to come and find us.”
“Seriously?” she asked in a weak voice.
“You don’t have to come,” I said, trying to reassure her that I was positive this was what I needed to do.
“You’re not stepping into someone’s memories and leaving this dimension alone – end of story,” she said as she took the paper and ran across the street to my car.
I climbed in the driver’s seat and pulled my bandage back. “I want to send Draven a text show him this,” I said as I handed her my phone so she could take a picture.
She smirked. “Yeah – I’m sure he’s not gonna believe this.”
“Did you tell him?”
“Not in so many words – but he knew I was gonna ask you.”
She handed my phone back to me. I decided to leave off the bandage; the cool air felt good on my burning raw skin. I forwarded the picture to Draven and Aden and texted: ‘my first birthday present – not as amazing as what you guys are working on but still awesome.’
I’d expected an instant response, but nothing came as I entered Wesley’s address into the GPS. I picked up my phone and checked the messages anyway, thinking maybe my phone was on silent.
“They’re probably playing – full band now that they have Winston and Grayson.”
She instantly reminded me of the beat that I’d heard as those rocks moved in thin air. “I scrolled to Aden’s name and texted: ‘I have to go and meet someone – but I need to see you – only you – I have a sound I need you to make.’
“That will get his attention,” I said as I put the car in drive and followed the directions to Wesley’s house.
Chapter Fifteen
The address we were going to was only two blocks away, not nearly far enough for me to think of what I needed to say to this guy – or even Austin, if he was there. My anxiety started to plague my mind, affecting every part of my body. I hated how one thought – or several insane thoughts – could have such a physical effect on me. I told myself that I shouldn’t fear this – no, not this; more like what could happen if I faced an epic battle with Bianca or had to defend Draven from Silas. Those thoughts made me sick to my stomach and instantly made the uncalled-for anxiety I was feeling much more intense.
I took in a deep breath and let it out, then focused on what I’d seen at the pond last night: the beauty of those butterflies, the calm energy. Within the next breath, calm was coming back to me and I was turning on Wesley’s street.
“Have you met him before? Wesley?” I asked as I parked on the street in front of his house.
“Only for like a second when he first came here. He was really nervous, so he didn’t say much,” Madison said as she pulled her bandage off and rubbed a cream across her Ankh.
I could only imagine how nerve-wracking it must be for those who live in Chara, how they travel through that passage and step into a world that’s foreign to them – only chasing an emotion. It seemed to unreal to me when it was first explained, but now I found myself holding this dimension and all those who came from there with a high respect. Unlike most of the people I knew in the world around me, they knew what really mattered: love...love for who you’re with and what you do.
I took in a deep breath and climbed out of my car. It was an adorable little house. Most of the houses that were this close to downtown were; they all seemed to be caught in a different era. The yard was short, but there was a wide porch that was decorated for the fall season. There were no cars in the driveway, though, so I hoped at least Wesley was there; maybe he had his car in the garage. I smirked as the thought crossed my mind that he may not know how to drive...if I remembered correctly, Draven had remarked that he barely knew how to text when I saw him at the diner.