“With my last breath,” he whispered. “I will undo the damage I’ve done - one way or another.”
“None of this is your fault,” I said, holding back tears and wanting this concert, the moment I’d have to save him from that wicked realm, to be over.
He leaned his forehead to mine and swayed me to the silence of the room. “Austin’s coming; I told them to send him,” I said quietly.
“And that little boy told you when our worlds are meant to collide – when they must so we can move forward – they will. Let’s just stick to the plan.”
“That little boy freaked me out,” I said with a playful grin.
“He reminds me of Monroe – only more vocal,” he said, returning my grin.
I almost told him that she did talk to me, but I decided to keep that to myself. I liked having her confidence, her young, innocent wisdom, all to myself. “Hungry?” he asked.
A smile spread across my face as I let him lead me downstairs. The guys were spread across the kitchen, eating sandwiches and chips while Nana was walking around, putting fruit on their plates. She smiled at me as I came in the room, then nodded to our plates, which she’d set out. As we ate, I listened to them talk about the line up for tomorrow, as well as all the people and radio stations that would be there. I felt anxiety rise inside of me and found it hard to eat, but I forced myself to as I caught Nana’s stare. When then others finished, they all went back upstairs, and I heard the music – my song – begin to play.
I looked to my side at Draven. “I wanna hear those lyrics.”
He blushed slightly. “Not tonight, love.”
“You have to practice it, though; make it perfect.”
“I have to practice the whole set – nine songs. We’re basically the headliner.”
I was instantly nervous for him. “I should go, let you practice.”
He reached his arm around me. “Just give me a few hours. Can I stay with you tonight?” he asked.
I blushed to tell him yes. He stole an innocent kiss before he took our plates to the sink and followed the others upstairs, leaving me alone with Nana. I silently helped her clean the kitchen. I could still hear the music upstairs, but no vocals. I knew Draven was waiting for me to leave. “I guess I better go,” I said as I wiped the table off.
“I’ll walk out with you,” Nana said.
I was sure I was about to get a speech or some kind of wise words, so I didn’t argue; instead, I walked out the garage door and made my way to my car.
“I had a long talk with your mom today,” she said as I opened the door to my car.
“Yeah, I did, too,” I said as I thought over how eerie it was just to appear in her office.
“Do you want to talk about it? Anything with me?” she asked as she stepped closer.
I found myself staring into space as everything I figured out over the past few days rushed through my mind. Then I broke my stare and locked eyes with her. I let her see it all, every second - even the ones with Silas.
She didn’t say anything for a moment or so. “Yeah, it’s all left me speechless, too,” I said, trying to smile through it.
As she stepped closer to me, her wise eyes slowly moved over my confused expression. “I’m going to give you very simple advice: your heart lies with the one your thoughts drift to without warning.”
“Draven,” I said instantly.
She nodded. “Even in Silas’ embrace, your thoughts were of his safety.”
“I guess…I’m just afraid of what I can’t remember…I mean, he just vaguely showed me a life beyond this one – and I felt a powerful emotion of love.”
“We don’t remember our past lives for a reason. Forgetting is natural.”
“Would you say the same if it was reversed – if I’d forgotten Draven in a past life? When I forgot him in this life, all of you did everything in your power to help me remember.”
“You did forget Draven in a past life. You forgot the moment you stepped away from Silas and committed to Draven – the moment that set the course for your destiny. Forgetting him a few months ago was temporary, something that would have never lasted long - with or without the help of any of us.”
“I just want to know; I want to know it all. I hate being blind.”
“You’re wide awake, child. Find the positive: Britain taking your memory then helped you learn to fight blindly for what your heart is leading you to.”
“That could be the only positive,” I mumbled. I was still angry at him for that. I was terrified that it had hindered us, caused this evil to sneak up on us.
“Find the wins and hold on to them,” she said as she reached to hug me. I hugged her back, then slid into my driver’s seat. I wanted to leave so Draven would rehearse – so he’d come to me faster.
Chapter Seventeen
When I got home, I found my house still dark and empty. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I texted Kara, asking her where she was. She texted back: ‘Drove up to get mom – Monroe and I are staying here tonight be back tomorrow - I left you three VM to tell you that.’
I made a face, feeling somewhat disappointed that I was all alone - well, almost alone; my father’s guitar was quietly playing throughout the house. When I reached my room, I left the lights off and slowly walked to the window. I could see Draven’s house from here, see them rehearsing. Even though I couldn’t hear the words, I could feel the power of the music. I leaned against the window and stared blankly, lost in a vacant thought.
Something caught my attention. Just above Draven’s house, the sky seemed darker – like, really dark. I looked back through the window to Draven’s house and watched Aden play; from the motion of his hands, I knew they were playing my song. My heart started to race...it was working...the darkness was coming – the song was pulling them back into this world. A grin spread across my face and literally jumped in place. Then something else caught my eye, a light. Parallel to Draven’s house was the dog park – the pond I was at last night. I realized that the only reason the sky around Draven’s house looked darker was that that glow was reflecting against it.
I leaned my forehead against the glass and focused my eyes. I was almost certain I could see butterflies - millions of them. I stepped back slowly, fighting with my thoughts. I was certain Silas was there. My father’s guitar roared to life the moment I considered going there.
“I’m just gonna talk to him, tell him it’s solved. Britain has Madison, Draven is gonna stay with me – stay good,” I said as loud as I could over the sound.
It just grew louder, and for the first time in my life I deliberately disobeyed my father. I ran down the steps to my car in the garage. Oddly, my heart didn’t race and anxiety didn’t plague me as I drove the few short minutes to the park. I was calm long before I pulled into the spot I parked in last night.
I got out slowly and began to walk across the damp grass. The butterflies were everywhere, clinging to the long blades of grass, all glowing. Everything around me was a light blue and so beautiful. The closer I walked to the park, the more calm I felt…this emotion was becoming a drug to me, completely addicting.
“It’s over,” I whispered into the night.
“It has yet to begin,” I heard Silas say.
I turned to see him standing behind me. I found myself captivated by his image. It was powerful, yet calm; he was beautiful in the glow of the night.
“Britain isn’t coming after me – he has someone else…Draven is remaining true to who he is.”
“If he remains true to who he is, then it most definitely is not over,” Silas said calmly as he stepped closer to me.
“You don’t know Draven; I do.” I said, losing my confidence in his presence.
“That’s my point – you don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“People change, even the damned. I’ve seen it.”
“The damned change; what we are – what he is – can never change. Our eternity has been charged with a purpose…an endless battle.”
“It ends now. I’ll prove it to you.”
He slowly stepped closer, letting his honey hazel eyes fall into mine. “You’ve said that before, and now look where we are: at the brink of war – you’ve engaged this darkness – something that never should have been done…we could have saved the souls peacefully.”
I stood speechless, frozen by a forgotten past. He leaned his head down so that his eyes were only inches from mine. “It’s unfair for you to enter into battle blindly…when that world pulls him back, all of his sins will be displayed before him, and he will feel the same addicting power he did when he committed those acts. He’ll crave more, and you will be his instant source.” As Silas leaned closer, his lips touched mine, but I didn’t kiss him back; even if I wanted to, I couldn’t move. Instantly, my mind was flooded with memories. I saw myself in his arms, I felt his love. I watched as we saved millions upon millions of lost souls...I watched as we relished in the victories. Then what I saw turned darker: I saw myself struggling with the endless cycle we were in. I wanted to stop it. I wanted everyone to be at peace - including my soul; I knew it couldn’t rest if the damned suffered anywhere.
The pleas I had with Britain to change his ways, to stop pulling the darkness to him, echoed around me. As I pleaded, he tried to seduce me in the way that all Escorts did: he tried to blind me. I was strong, though, and refused to give in. Silas appeared out of nowhere and pulled me from Britain. I watched as they fought, as light and darkness collided, causing a sound no less fierce than thunder. Just before Silas reached to pull Britain’s soul from the vessel he was in, I threw myself between them and pleaded that Silas would show mercy…I told him it was my fault that I’d tempted him. As he looked at me, Silas’ eyes changed from anger to devotion. He then pulled me to him, and we walked away…years, decades passed before I laid eyes on Draven’s soul.
He was a ruler of some distant land in a distant time. I watched as the souls of his kingdom perished in darkness. I’d saved more than could be counted: women, children, innocent children. I decided to go to him, to make it stop, to set his kingdom free – to help him find the power he craved in my world. The moment my eyes found his, the memories stopped. I focused my eyes and found myself standing alone in the dark field. Silas was gone, along with the butterflies and calm energy.
In a vacant state of mind, I walked back to my car. As I drove to my house, I refused to think about the horrid images Silas had shown me, refused to think that the soul that I loved could be so dark, so damning – could hurt innocents; instead, I thought about all of the souls I’d witnessed him redeem, the very same souls I knew he’d redeem today if he were only given a chance. That thought was the only thing keeping me sane – giving me hope.
When I pulled in my driveway, I saw Draven’s Hummer – and my heart might as well have melted into my stomach. I instantly felt sick. I couldn’t understand how he was done rehearsing so soon. Then I looked at the clock on my dash: it was four AM. The massive gap in time only made me feel sicker to my stomach.
With shaky hands, I opened my car door, then slowly walked in my house. It was dark – silent. I couldn’t feel my father’s energy there, and the absence of it made the house seem larger – colder. Nervously, I climbed the stairs.
When I reached my room, I saw the couch turned to face the window and Draven sitting there. I walked around the couch, unsure if he was awake or not. When I felt his eyes on me in the dark room, I knew he was wide awake.
“I lost track of time,” I said timidly.
He stood, holding my gaze. “How was it possible for you to stand in one place for so long – without moving?” he asked as he titled his head to the window.
I could only hope he hadn’t seen Silas there with me.
“Not sure...lost a lot of time today.”
“Show me,” he whispered as he stepped closer.
I shook my head no.
“Why?” he asked in a firm, yet tender tone.
“Because I saw our past, and it’s nothing like our future.”
He reached his hand for my face and gently pulled me closer. I didn’t wait for him to kiss me; I stood on my tiptoes and pulled his lips to mine. Between our breathless kisses, he said, “Promise.”
I answered by pulling him closer, wanting to be as close as possible to his soul. He picked me up and carried me to my bed. I did everything in my power to get as close to him as humanly possible, and the tighter he held me, the easier it was to forget a past that should remain forgotten. That wasn’t him; it may have looked like him, but that wasn’t the boy that was holding me - the boy I would end my existence for. I let my thoughts grow numb and focused on his touch, his energy.
Chapter Eighteen
I woke up all alone. Next to me on the pillow was a flower – but not an ordinary flower; it was flower from the field in Chara. A note was beside it read: ‘ I’ll see you in a few hours – love you.’
I rolled on my back and pulled the flower to my nose, taking in the sweet aroma, imagining living in such an untouched, beautiful world. I assumed that Draven had gone to Chara using my memories, and I could only hope he was more convincing than I was – that maybe he walked the few extra steps to Landen’s house.
I had no idea what time it was. I knew the sun had risen long before Draven and I had finally fallen asleep. I looked to my nightstand to see the clock screaming five PM at me. I sat up quickly. I couldn’t believe I’d slept the entire day – like nine straight hours. I flung the covers off me and ran down the stairs. My old room was empty, but I could hear a house full of people downstairs. I ran to the closet and grabbed my clothes, then locked myself in the bathroom.