L.A.
Do I want to move to L.A.?
No.
But I desperately need a job. I have a mortgage and a car and a
life
to pay for. I’m blessed with a healthy savings, but it won’t last forever.
And I will die before I ask anyone for a handout.
But leaving Seattle means leaving my family. My friends.
Leo.
I still, a pair of black panties with ruffles on the butt in my hands and feel my
face flush. These are exactly like the ones he ripped off me that night in my kitchen.
I may as well replace them.
And grab some pretty new bras while I’m here.
It’s been more than a week since our fight, since I was sick. Since we watched Olivia
together.
I carry my undergarment finds over to the women’s section to pick out a new suit for
my interview next week and end up with three new outfits, all suitable for interviews.
Because even if the L.A. job doesn’t work out, I’ll have other interviews to go to.
I hope.
As I make my way home with my purchases, my mind wanders back to the sexy, tattooed
man that has wormed his way into my life. And it feels natural to have him here.
He’s attentive and caring. He’s amazing in bed. He’s funny.
And I just want to lick him.
But there will come a time, in the not-too-distant future that he’ll be gone the majority
of the time. He and his band will release the new album, and all the hoopla that goes
along with it will begin: tours, promo, TV appearances. Lots and lots of travel.
He doesn’t even have a home in Seattle. He’s staying at Meg’s old place. He owns a
home in L.A.
Oh God, I don’t want him to think that I’m considering a job in California just because
he lives there. How mortifying.
The thought of Leo leaving makes me sad. Okay, it makes me feel like my heart is being
torn from my bloody body.
But I’ll survive it. And I’ll enjoy him in the mean time.
I kicked him out of my apartment yesterday and told him to go home for a day. Time
apart is healthy. We don’t have to be in each other’s pockets twenty-four-seven.
I don’t want him to get sick of me.
He’d reluctantly gone, but then he’d called me at two a.m., complaining that he couldn’t
sleep.
I wasn’t sleeping either.
And we had the most fun, sexy as hell phone sex I’d ever had in my life.
Yeah, I like him.
I drop my purchases on the ottoman in the center of my closet room and sigh happily.
I love this room. Three walls are lined with clothes, separated by occasion; casual,
work, formal. The fourth wall houses my handbags and shoes.
And in the center of the room is a long, plush sand-colored ottoman for dressing.
Before I can begin putting my newest finds away, my phone rings.
The display reads simply,
Nash.
I grin as I answer, “Hey there, ridiculously sexy rock star.”
“Hey. What are you up to?” His voice is warm and deep and smooth and I have to lower
myself to the ottoman before my knees buckle.
God, I have it bad.
“I had to go shopping, so I’m putting some things away.”
“Shopping for anything special?” He asks.
“I got some new interview outfits and some new underwear.”
“Hmm… I definitely wanna see the underwear.”
I grin. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Do you have dinner plans tonight?”
Why does he sound uncertain?
“No, what’s up?” I ask.
“Meg has invited us to have dinner with her and Will at their place.” He exhales deeply.
“You don’t want to go?” I ask.
“I’m fine with it, if you are.”
“Okay, I’m in.”
“Okay. I’ll pick you up at six.” He clears his throat and I hear voices in the background.
“What are you up to?” I ask, my curiosity piqued.
“I’m hanging out with a few of the guys. We’re looking at song choices for the new
album and they’re being stupid.”
I laugh and cradle the phone between my ear and shoulder as I stand and begin hanging
my new clothes.
“What are they doing?”
“Jake is substituting dirty words for the regular words in the songs. I swear these
guys are ten years old.”
“You love them,” I murmur with a grin.
“They’re all crazy.” There is mumbling in the back ground and I hear someone start
to play an acoustic guitar, and I wish I was there to listen. “I’m gonna go finish
with these guys and I’ll see you at six.”
“It’s a date.” I glance down at the black panties in my hand and think about how far
we’ve come since that horrible night in my kitchen.
“Good. And baby?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re not sleeping alone tonight.”
He hangs up, leaving me with a wide grin and wet panties.
Thank God.
***
“You look fantastic,” Leo mutters and looks me up and down appreciatively, taking
in my red sweater and black jeans. My red heels increase my height by four inches,
and he’s still way taller than me.
“So do you.” And he does, in his faded blue jeans and black button-down shirt with
the sleeves rolled up, revealing those hot tats on his forearms.
“Come on, Meg will kill us if we’re late, and if I come in, we may not make it there
at all.”
He settles me in his car and pulls into traffic toward Will’s home.
“So, you bought interview clothes. I suppose that means you have an interview?” He
raises an eyebrow at me and offers me half a smile.
“I do. Next week.” I clench my hands in my lap and pray that he doesn’t ask me where.
No such luck.
“Where?”
“In L.A.”
His head whips around to stare at me with his jaw dropped, and then he scowls deeply
and turns back to the road, his knuckles going white on the steering wheel.
“Why L.A.?” He asks, his voice deceptively low.
“Because they offered.” I shrug and look out my window, not paying attention to the
landscape.
“But you don’t want to move out of Seattle.”
“Leo, sometimes what we want and what we get are two different things.” I take a deep
breath and frown. “What’s the big deal?”
“You shouldn’t have to settle.” He glares at me.
“I need a job.” I say the words slowly and clearly. “I’m going a bit crazy here, Leo.
I need to work. I like to work. No one in Seattle is offering.”
“I’ll help you until you find something here.”
He sounds so sure, and I want to soften, just at the thought that he wants to help
me, but that is absolutely not going to happen.
“I don’t need any help.”
“Samantha…”
“Leo, I’m not thinking about the L.A. job because that’s where you’re based out of,
if that’s what makes you nervous. I may not even get the job, but they called, want
to fly me there next week, and I’m going.”
“That’s what you think?”
“I just…”
“Sam, I just don’t want you to take a job that you don’t really want. There’s no reason
for you to.”
I shake my head and rub my forehead with my fingertips. “I don’t do anything I don’t
want to.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“Like I said, I might not get it. It’s good practice for the interview process.”
“Hey.” He takes my hand in his and kisses my knuckles. “You’ll be great. They’d be
stupid not to scoop you up.”
“Thank you.” I offer him a small smile. He still looks upset, but not angry.
“How did it go with the band today?”
“It was good to hang out for a while and talk shop.”
“How are they doing?”
“Good. Enjoying their time off.” He pulls into Will and Meg’s driveway and cuts the
engine.
“Why did you sound nervous about bringing me here tonight?” I ask when he turns to
me in the dark car.
“Because I’d rather be at your place, or mine, alone with you.” He runs his hand down
my face and cups my cheek gently. “I missed you last night.”
“Me too,” I whisper.
“Let’s get this over with so we can leave and I can lose myself in you for about ten
hours.”
Damn, I love it when he says stuff like that. I feel the same way; when I’m with him,
I lose myself in him.
“Can I lick your stars?” I ask and laugh when his eyes dilate and his breathing quickens.
“Fuck, you can lick anything you want.”
“We’ll start with the stars.”
“Get out now, or I’ll take you back home.”
He escorts me to the door, his hand on my low back, and as we wait for our hosts to
answer the door, he leans in and whispers against my ear, “As soon as I get you home,
I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk.”
I swallow hard, but grin sassily. “Promises, promises.”
He swats my ass just as the door opens and spreads his arms for Meg to give him a
big hug.
“Hey, Mag-pie.”
“Hi, jerk.” She snuggles into him for a minute, and then backs away and smiles over
at me. “Any diaper mishaps lately?”
“No.” I shudder and follow her inside. “I think I’ll leave the babysitting to my mom.”
“You’ll learn.” Meg grins.
“Hey, you’re here!” Will looks delicious in his jeans and football t-shirt.
Will looks delicious in anything.
“Thanks for inviting us,” Leo responds and shakes his hand.
“Come into the kitchen.” Meg turns to lead us through the house to their pretty kitchen.
“Dinner’s almost ready.”
I help her set the table and fill wine glasses.
“This smells delicious.” She’s prepared salmon with a rice pilaf and salad, and my
stomach growls. “I haven’t eaten today.”
“Why haven’t you eaten?” Leo asks from across the room.
“Because I had the meeting this morning, and then I went shopping and I guess I forgot.”
“I do that too.” Meg nods. “I made a ton of food, so please eat it up.”
“You can count on me.” I assure her and we all claim a seat at the table and begin
dishing up.
“So Meg,” Leo slides a big piece of salmon onto my plate and then one onto his. “What
are your plans for your birthday?”
“The Montgomerys do a monthly birthday party for all the members of the family with
a birthday that month, so we’ll do that.” She shrugs like its no big deal, but her
eyes are happy.
She loves her birthday.
“I’m buying her a new car to finally replace that piece of shit that broke down on
her a few months ago,” Will adds and Meg shifts uncomfortably in her chair.
I feel Leo stiffen beside me.
“Why were you driving a piece of shit, Megan?” He asks her, his voice low.
“Because it’s what I could afford.” She takes a sip of wine, not meeting anyone’s
eyes. Will frowns down at her.
“That’s bullshit,” Leo snaps at her.
Will turns his confused gaze to Leo’s. “No it’s not.”
Leo shakes his head and drops his fork to his plate. “Meg, I know for a fact that
you could have bought anything you wanted. I made sure that you were set up to receive
your fifty percent of the royalties from all the songs we co-wrote on the past two
albums.”
I can’t help the gasp that escapes my lungs as my eyes widen and watch Meg’s cheeks
go red with embarrassment.
“What?” Will demands.
“Where is the money?” Leo asks.
“I donated it.” She shrugs and continues to look down at her plate.
“Fucking A,” Leo mutters under his breath and runs his hand down his face. “You mean
to tell me that I spent the better part of fifteen years of my life taking care of
you, and I’m gone for a couple of years, and while I’m making millions you’re living
paycheck to paycheck? What the fuck, Megan?”
“I didn’t want the money!” She yells back at him and glares at him from across the
table. “I just wanted you and you left and I was pissed!”
“So you gave away millions of dollars? Money that you needed?”
“I didn’t need it.” She shakes her head stubbornly.
“Babe,” Will drops his arm around her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
She just shrugs again, and Will’s face twists in pain.
“Okay, stop guys.” I interrupt and three pairs of eyes, eyes filled with hurt and
love, turn to me. “It’s done. You can’t change it.” I take Leo’s hand in mine and
stare up at him. “She loves you, and she missed you,” I whisper.
He clenches his eyes shut and then looks back down at me, his gray eyes full of worry.
He releases my hand and wraps that arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to plant
that magical mouth on mine, devouring me, and I forget that we’re not alone.
“That looks like a good idea,” I hear Will whisper, and assume he’s kissing the shit
out of Meg.
Leo pulls back and grazes my bottom lip with his thumb. “Thank you.”
When we turn back to the table, Will plants a kiss on Meg’s forehead, and her lips
are full and swollen from being kissed, her eyes glassy from desire and unshed tears.
Her gaze finds mine, and she gets a goofy grin on her face.
“What?” I ask.
“I’ve never seen Leo kiss anyone before.” Her voice is full of wonder, and her gaze
travels between Leo and myself.
“Never?” I frown up at the man sitting next to me. He glowers at Meg.
“Nope, he’s always had a strict no-kissing policy.” Her grin widens as he continues
to fidget.
“Shut up,” he whispers.
“Interesting.”
“Very,” she agrees. “He always said, no kissing and no oral sex. Used to piss the
girls off.”
“Shut the fuck up, Megan.” Leo’s pissed all over again, and I’m struck dumb as I remember
the night on my couch when he kissed me for hours, and held me and kissed me most
of the night in my bed.
The times that he’s gone down on me, like he can’t get enough of me.
Megan laughs and I swallow hard as Will catches my gaze. He smiles reassuringly and
winks, and for a moment, I want to run. This is too much. I’m coming to depend on
the affections of a man who never used to kiss women.
Why me?
What am I going to do when it’s over?
And then I feel Leo’s hand on my shoulder, his grip firm and warm and I look up into
his soft, sweet eyes and I calm. I lean in and kiss him, pull on his piercing with
my teeth and grin.
“He kisses me all the time,” I tell Meg smugly.
“Good. It’s about time.”
“You know, I have secrets I can tell too, brat,” Leo reminds her and Will comes to
attention.
“Spill it.”
“No!” Meg shakes her head and giggles. “Story time is over.”
“It’s okay.” Will and Leo share a look. “I’ll get it out of him eventually.”
“I think that you guys can never spend time together again,” Meg decides. “Say goodbye
now, and we’ll go our separate ways.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works.” I chuckle.
“Damn.”
“Come on.” Will stands and pulls Meg out of her chair. “Let’s go in the living room
and have dessert.”
Leo pulls me out of my chair too, but leans in to whisper, “You’re dessert.”
***
I wake with a start, sit upright in bed, and frown when I see that I’m alone. My eyes
adjust to the darkness in Leo’s bedroom, but I don’t see him. He brought me here after
our dinner at Will and Meg’s, and I was excited to see what he’s done with Meg’s place.
It’s small, messy and a total bachelor pad, but it suits him.
Where is he?
I climb out of bed and pull on his black button-down, buttoning just the middle two
buttons, and on a whim, tuck a condom in the breast pocket.
The house is still. No music.
Something is wrong.