Woman of Courage (31 page)

Amanda waited in her tent until the group of Flatheads rode out of camp. It was hard to believe they would leave so soon after Silver Squirrel had given birth, but she supposed they wanted to leave this place as quickly as they could so the new mother wouldn’t be reminded that her other daughter had been left behind.

Heavenly Father
, Amanda prayed,
that innocent baby out there in the woods does not deserve to die. Please show me where the infant lies
.

When Amanda’s prayer ended, she glanced over at Mary, quietly nursing her baby. Buck was outside packing things up, and Amanda knew this might be her only chance. “I’m going outside for some fresh air,” she told Mary. Then she slipped out of the tent before Mary could reply.

Sneaking around to the other side of the tent so Buck wouldn’t see her, Amanda hurried away from the campsite and darted into the woods.

As Amanda walked on, she listened, hoping to hear the baby cry. But the only sounds were the rustling of leaves and the wind whispering through the pines. It was an especially warm day, and the child had only been out in the woods a few hours, so she hoped it was still alive.

Amanda followed a worn path through the forest, which made searching a bit easier. She wasn’t sure where the path led, but it looked like the same type Mary had pointed out during their travels to the Rendezvous. The trails, Mary had explained, had been made by animals.

Amanda moved on, deeper into the woods, praying as she went, keeping cautious and staying alert for any little noise. She would have normally been nervous being in the forest alone, but her quest to find the baby made her more courageous.

Suddenly, she caught sight of a fawn walking in circles around a large pine tree.
That’s strange
, Amanda marveled.
I wonder where the little deer’s mother could be
.

Amanda stood watching it for several moments, then slowly, she tip-toed around the tree, following in the young deer’s footsteps. Amanda was halfway around, when she heard a soft whimper. She turned to the left. Tucked inside a hollowed opening in the tree lay a newborn baby wrapped in a piece of moss. Amanda scooped the infant into her arms, brushing bits of dirt and leaves from its tiny body. Immediately, the child began to howl. “Oh, I thank Thee, Lord,” Amanda murmured. “Thou hast surely answered my prayers.” She knew without question that the Lord must have used the young fawn to guide her to the baby. The small deer was no longer anywhere in sight, but Amanda was thankful that God worked miracles, even through nature.

“Where’s Amanda?” Buck asked when he entered the tent and found Mary packing up her personal belongings but saw no sign of Amanda.

“She go outside. Said she need fresh air.”

“She went looking for that baby, I’ll bet.” Buck grimaced. “And if she went into the woods alone, she’s bound to get lost.”

Mary’s eyes widened. “What should we do?”

“You stay here with your son. I’m goin’ to look for her.”

When Buck entered the woods a few minutes later, he cupped his hands around his mouth and called, “Amanda! Where are you, Amanda?”

He heard only the sound of the wind whispering through the trees.

Buck moved on, going deeper into the woods, and continued to call Amanda’s name. He didn’t know what he would do if he couldn’t find her. She would die out here with no protection.

Suddenly, Buck heard the sound of a baby’s cry. At least he thought that was what it was. Maybe it was a mountain lion cub or some other animal with a high-pitched cry. It could even be a bobcat, since their cry mimicked that of a baby’s.

He took a few steps forward and listened. Then he saw Amanda walking on the path toward him, a baby in her arms.

“Oh Buck, I’m so glad to see you,” she cried. “I found the other twin, and she’s alive!”

Buck’s jaw clenched. “I told ya not to go lookin’ for that baby,” he muttered. “What were you thinking? Don’t ya know how dangerous it is for you to be out here in the woods alone?”

“Yes, I do,” she said, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. “And that is why I had to find this baby.” Amanda patted the squalling infant’s back. “She would have perished for sure if I hadn’t come looking for her, and I’m thankful to God that He sent a little fawn to lead me to the right spot.” She smiled widely. “The child is alive. God has performed a miracle on her behalf.”

“Miracle?” Buck scoffed. “What miracle will feed and care for this child?”

“I am going to care for the baby, and I’ll ask Mary to nurse Little Fawn.”

“Little Fawn?” Buck repeated.

“Why, yes. Since it was a small fawn that led me to the baby, I think the name is appropriate for her.” Amanda looked down at the squirming infant nestled in her arms. “I think it’s a fine Indian name, don’t you?”

Buck folded his arms and thrust out his chin. “Ya can’t keep this baby, Amanda.”

“Yes, I can. I am going to take Little Fawn to the Spalding Mission, and nothing you can say will change my mind.” She squinted up at him. “And don’t try to stop me, either. I am determined to do this, whether you like it or not.”

Amanda was not going to back down, but having another baby along would make traveling even slower.
What is this woman thinking?
Buck asked himself.
And why does she have to be so stubborn?

W
e need to get going,” Buck said, trying to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to change Amanda’s mind about taking the baby. “I’d just like to know one thing.”

“What’s that?” she asked, stroking the top of the infant’s head.

“How are ya plannin’ to ride your horse and hold on to the baby?”

“I’ll ask Mary to help me make a cradleboard for Little Fawn.” Amanda smiled, gently kissing the baby’s nose.

He frowned. “That’ll take some time, and I thought you were anxious to get to the mission.”

“I am, but I want to make sure my adopted daughter is safe.” Amanda clung possessively to the baby, her blue eyes sparkling with determination.

Buck’s eyebrows shot up. “You are planning to keep her?”

“Well, of course. I told thee that before.”

“I thought you meant you were gonna take the baby to the Spalding Mission and leave her there.” Buck squinted with annoyance, running his fingers through the ends of his hair. “And you’re using the word
thee
again.”

“I’m sorry, Buck,” Amanda said, “but I slip back into saying it whenever I’m upset.” She kissed the baby’s forehead this time. “Since I’m the one who found Little Fawn, she’s my responsibility. Just look how adorable she is.”

He groaned, feeling more frustrated by the minute as he watched Amanda look lovingly at the infant. Didn’t this woman have any idea what she was getting herself into, taking on a baby? Even with the baby just a few hours old, Amanda was quickly bonding with her. He figured that any more talk about giving the baby up would fall on deaf ears.

Buck couldn’t take his eyes off Amanda as she stood rocking the baby while singing a lullaby. Amanda made his head ache more often than not. She also amazed him, which he didn’t want to admit. Here was a woman who had journeyed all the way from New York and had lost her father on the way. Yet she’d continued on with only a guide to protect her. Back at Jim’s cabin, she had told Buck how she and the guide had been stopped by a band of Blackfoot Indians, who’d suddenly let them go. Soon after, Amanda’s guide had been killed, and then Amanda had become very sick. If it hadn’t been for Buck finding her, he was sure she would have died.

Thinking back on all of this, Buck couldn’t deny that this woman had courage. And the more he thought about Amanda, several other thoughts occurred to him. Still weak from having been sick, she had helped Mary with the delivery of Little Joe and taken care of things around the cabin until Mary got her strength back. She’d also taken care of him after the bear attack. Then there were those encounters with Seth Burrows. Now, Amanda’s will to continue onward to the mission after getting sick again, and with a baby, no less, made her seem even more courageous. One day, she would no doubt make some lucky man a fine wife.

“We’d better get back to the campsite now, before you start sneezing and coughing again,” Buck said, pulling his thoughts aside.

“You’re right, we do need to get back,” she agreed, “but it’s the baby I’m worried about. She needs to be fed and properly dressed, and Mary can help with that.”

“All right, let’s go.” Buck didn’t know what he’d done to deserve all of this, but right now he wished he’d never met this Quaker woman with such a determined spirit.

As soon as Amanda and Buck returned to their campsite, Amanda entered the tent to tell Mary what had happened. “I found the baby,” she said, hoping Mary would share her excitement.

Mary stared at the infant, then nodded and said, “This not a surprise. I knew you not rest till you found baby.”

“It’s a girl, Mary, and I named her Little Fawn. She needs to be fed.” Amanda held the baby out to Mary. “Will you feed her for me?”

Mary nodded again. “I have plenty of milk.” She motioned to Little Joe, sleeping on the mat beside her. “He satisfied baby.”

Amanda smiled as a feeling of relief rushed through her that Mary hadn’t turned her down.

“What you do with baby?” Mary asked after she’d taken the infant from Amanda and begun nursing her.

“I’m going to keep Little Fawn and raise her as my own,” Amanda said without reservation. “She deserves to live, just as all babies do. The Flathead Indians were wrong in leaving her to die in the woods because of some silly superstition.”

“It be their way,” Mary stated simply.

Amanda shook her head. “But it’s not God’s way, and I live by His principles, not theirs.”

Mary didn’t respond, but she didn’t tell Amanda she’d been wrong for taking the baby, either.

Sometime later, after both babies had been fed and seemed content, Buck stepped into the tent with a wooden contraption similar to the cradleboard Mary had for Little Joe. “I lined it with rabbit fur,” he said, handing it to Amanda.

“Thank you, Buck.” Amanda felt moisture on her cheeks. She knew he didn’t approve of her bringing the baby along, yet he was caring enough to see that the child was properly cared for.

“The baby’s gotta have some place to ride,” Buck said with a shrug. “Are ya ready to travel now?” he asked, looking first at Mary, and then Amanda.

Both women nodded and Amanda put the child in place. Then Buck tied the cradleboard securely to Amanda’s back and helped her climb into the saddle. It felt somewhat awkward and a bit top-heavy, but Amanda was determined to carry her newly adopted daughter without a word of complaint.

Little Fawn fussed for the first several miles of travel, but after a while, she dozed off. Amanda offered a prayer of thankfulness that the baby seemed to be content, at least for the time being. Her biggest concern was whether Mary would have enough milk for both babies. She couldn’t let the child starve to death.

Try not to worry
, she told herself.
Just trust God to take care of Little Fawn
.

That evening, Amanda reclined on a sleeping mat inside her tent, with Little Fawn snuggled contentedly in the crook of one arm. It had been a long, tiring day, but she was thankful the tiny Indian girl was still alive. Amanda was also pleased that Buck had allowed her to keep the baby. She didn’t know what she would have done if he’d forced her to leave Little Fawn in the forest to be eaten by some wild animal or die of starvation. She’d have never been able to live with herself if she had agreed to that.