Woman of Courage (32 page)

Amanda tried to put herself in Silver Squirrel’s place, wondering what it must have been like for the woman to have been forced to choose which daughter to keep. After only one day of caring for Little Fawn, Amanda felt a special bond with the precious infant. She would make any necessary sacrifice to assure the welfare of her adopted daughter.

The baby whimpered slightly, and Amanda whispered a prayer: “Dear Lord, help us to get the Spalding Mission safely, and protect my precious little girl.”

Buck shifted restlessly on his deer hide mat in front of the campfire. It had been a long day—a day full of unexpected surprises.
Not all of them were bad
, he noted. Seeing how happy Amanda appeared as she held the Flathead baby caused him to wonder if taking the child had been the right thing to do, after all. Amanda did seem to care about the welfare of the little girl, caring for the baby as if it were her own.

Buck turned his head and stared at the tent Amanda shared with Mary and Little Joe. She was sleeping in there with Little Fawn at her side. He could almost visualize Amanda’s golden hair spread across her sleeping mat as she lay peacefully, with the baby sleeping soundly. How many times recently, especially after Mary and Jim had become parents, had Buck thought about one day becoming a family man? It was easy now to understand how Jim, who had previously been so reserved, had changed after the birth of his son. Buck found himself changing, too, especially seeing Amanda with the baby.

He quickly looked away from the tent where she slept.
I find myself thinking about her too much. I’ll be glad when we get to the mission and my job will be done
.

I
t had been nearly two weeks since Amanda discovered Little Fawn in the woods. Travel had been steady but slow. Much slower than Buck would have liked. He was anxious to get the women to the mission so he could be on his way home. The trek had become frustrating because each stop to feed the babies took precious time, but he was trying to be patient. Buck wasn’t one for lingering in one place too long, especially not knowing if they were being followed or watched by the local Indians.

As Buck led the way, he felt as if their very lives depended on his keen sense of alertness. Bringing up the rear were the pack mules and the two extra horses bearing all of their supplies. Surprisingly enough, they hadn’t encountered any other humans so far, and Buck hoped it would stay that way for the rest of their journey. He didn’t relish the thought of meeting up with enemy Indians or, worse yet, white men who might want to cause trouble. The safety of Amanda, Mary, and their children was uppermost in his mind.

Thunder had been their constant companion, and the dog was a big help to Buck. With his keen sense of smell and good hearing, he had alerted Buck to threats several times. Just yesterday Thunder had been running up ahead and come across a mountain lion guarding the prey it had just killed. Snarling and growling, the big cat had eventually grown weary and run off, posing no threat to Buck and the women. Buck was thankful for Thunder’s vigilance. The trip hadn’t been easy on the dog, because the pads of his feet were starting to crack. Each evening Mary put some milkweed sap on them to promote healing and ward off infection. Even when the dog rested, he was watchful, which allowed Buck to get some sleep at night. He needed the rest in order to be on the alert during the day.

The terrain was getting more difficult in their travels, with more mountains to climb, not to mention the relentless mosquitoes that attacked them during the evenings.

It was suppertime now, and since it was almost dark, they had stopped for the night. Once again, the mosquitoes were buzzing around the camp, but the smoke from the campfire helped to keep them at bay.

Amanda was tending to her baby girl, using a fresh piece of dried moss as a diaper, the way Mary had showed her. Mary had also given Amanda some of Little Joe’s clothes for Little Fawn to wear.

Amanda glanced up when she became aware that Buck was standing over her. “Little Fawn is doing quite well, don’t you think?” she asked, flashing him a wide smile.

He shrugged and tried to keep his face a mask of indifference.

Amanda turned her attention back to the squirming child, and Buck was about to tend the horses when he decided to ask her a question. “How come you’re so determined to go to the mission?”

“I’ve told you before,” she replied. “The Indians need to know about God and His Son, Jesus. They also need to learn how to read, write, and till the land.”

“Humph!” Buck scoffed. “The Nez Percé know the land well. Mother Earth gives ’em all they need.”

“I realize that you have no desire to believe in God,” she said evenly. “But I’m sure some Indians do. Otherwise, they would not have sent a delegation all the way to St. Louis in search of the Bible and white missionaries, asking them to come and teach their people.”

Buck frowned. “Some may want that, but most are happy with the old ways. The majority of Indians don’t want white men on their land.”

“Don’t you think the Nez Percé people will be interested in the Bible?” she asked. “Are you afraid I will corrupt them with my religious ways?”

Buck dropped his gaze to the dusty ground. “I ain’t afraid of nothing, but you should be.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Buck held up two fingers and furrowed his brows. “Two babies born of the same mother ain’t good. The Nez Percé people may think this is a bad sign. They might see it as warning from Hanyawat.”

“What kind of warning would the Great Spirit have in regard to an innocent young child?” Amanda retorted.

Buck grimaced. “Bringing a child of Its-welx, born to a Flathead woman, into the Nez Percé camp is not good. They may think the trouble meant for the Flatheads could come upon them instead.”

Amanda wrinkled her nose. “That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard! Even if there were bad omens, which I certainly do not believe in, they couldn’t be transferred from one tribe to another, merely by bringing a child into their camp.”

Could this lady be more stubborn?
Buck wondered. Amanda sure had spunk; he had to give her that. Maybe that was one of the things that attracted him to her.

“Lap-lap,”
he said, changing the subject as he pointed to a nearby bush, where a beautiful butterfly had landed.

“Lap-lap?” Amanda repeated, as she rose to her feet. “What does that mean?”

“It means, ‘little butterfly.’ See, it’s right over there.”

“Oh yes, I see it.” Amanda smiled. “It’s beautiful, another one of God’s creations.”

Buck grunted and walked away. It seemed like everything Amanda said had something to do with God, and he was getting tired of hearing it.

As Amanda sat in her tent with Mary and their babies that evening, they discussed their futures—Amanda at the Spalding Mission, and Mary hoping to find her people.

“Do you think when we get to the mission that your family will be near and that you’ll be able to find them right away?” Amanda asked, holding Little Fawn and admiring the little girl’s perfect face. She was glad her child did not have a flat head.

“Should be at camp along Clearwater River,” Mary replied. “Should not be hard to find.”

“Many times I have been afraid to move forward with my plans, but you have been a big part in helping me continue. It would be nice if we could still see each other from time to time,” Amanda said, watching Mary as she nursed Little Joe. “Your friendship means a lot to me.”

“I like that.” Mary smiled at Amanda. “It be good to be among my people and teach Little Joe the Nez Percé ways. It also mean much to have you and Little Fawn nearby when my people camp near mission during cold winter months. You have become special friend to me. I already feel the peace we shall find there.”

Amanda knew that no matter which path their lives took, once they got to their destination, the welfare of their children would come first.

Mary had been teaching Amanda how to sign with her hands so she could communicate with the Nez Percé Indians she would be ministering to. She’d taught her a few Nez Percé words, as well.

Amanda often read to Mary from the Bible, and helped her memorize some verses of scripture. Buck kept a safe distance during Bible reading. He did, however, tolerate her prayers whenever they ate a meal together. Amanda hoped that eventually he would see the truth of God’s Word and open himself to Jesus. If he didn’t do it before he left them at the mission and headed back to his home in the Rockies, she feared he might never find the Lord.
What will it take for Buck to see the truth?
she asked herself.
Is there something more I can say or do?

T
he sun cast a colorful pink hue across the valley where they were camped, splashing everything with a bright glow. They’d stopped a bit earlier than normal because Little Fawn, now a little more than two weeks old, had been extremely fussy. Amanda knew it was probably the heat that tormented the child, but she worried. They’d put in a lot of miles today, and Buck had obviously sensed the child’s need and made the decision to stop and make camp for the night.

Amanda was glad today’s travels were cut short, for the unrelenting August heat was getting to her, too. She would be relieved when their journey ended. All the mountainous trails they had traveled so far; the streams and rivers they’d crossed; and the forest they’d quietly ridden through had kept her nerves on edge because of what they didn’t know that might confront them at any moment. What she wouldn’t give for a deep, restful sleep in a real bed, but she knew that wouldn’t happen until she was settled in at the mission.

Even with these anxieties, Amanda had never felt more connected with her surroundings. She’d never seen so much beauty in what God created than she had during this journey. She had also met Mary, whom she hoped would be her friend for life. And the most precious thing of all was that she now had a daughter to raise and teach about God. It scared her a bit, realizing there would be many challenges ahead. But with God’s help, she would deal with whatever came along.

Feeling ever so grateful, Amanda climbed down from her horse and quickly undid the cradleboard. She was exhausted from the endless hours in the saddle.

Amanda lifted the baby out and placed her on a deer hide, near the cool river. Then she dipped one end of a torn shirt into the water, wrung it out, and placed it across the infant’s forehead. Next, she dipped another piece of cloth into the water, and designed it into a cone-shape. The baby began to suck as soon as Amanda put the moistened cloth between her tiny lips, and soon thereafter, Little Fawn drifted into a peaceful sleep.

“Thank you for stopping, Buck,” Amanda said, smiling up at him as he approached her.

“I couldn’t let the baby keep cryin’,” Buck replied, looking at the forest before them.

Amanda’s gaze followed his, knowing they still had many more miles to go until they reached their destination. A sense of excitement mixed with a bit of trepidation fluttered in her stomach as she contemplated the new life that would be awaiting her at the Spalding Mission. Would this be her future? Would she and Little Fawn be accepted? She prayed they would, or else her journey and all the sacrifices she had made would have been for nothing. And where would she go if they weren’t accepted? Certainly not back home to Dansville. Papa was gone, and there was nothing in New York for her but a flood of painful memories. No, Amanda felt sure her place was in the West, where she could create new memories.

“This area is truly beautiful. It’s as if God is right beside us,” Amanda said to Mary when she walked over to join them.

Mary nodded. “I feel this, too.”

Amanda and Mary, holding their babies, and Buck squatting down to pet Thunder, gazed at the tall trees. Amanda breathed deeply of the forest’s rich scents, mingling with the sweet smell of fresh water before them. She looked over at Mary and smiled. “Little Fawn is alive because of you, and I appreciate what you’ve done for her.”

“You the one who saved her,” Mary said, shaking her head. “I just provide milk she needs.”