Word of Honor (Knights of Valor Book 1) (12 page)

Merryn rewarded
his patience with a tender smile.

She passed
him the hand mirror. He reached for it with hesitation.

“Go ahead,”
she prodded. “You may praise my handiwork once you’ve seen yourself.”

He lifted
the mirror close, moving it around to glimpse all of him. Then he returned the
mirror to her.

And for the
first time since his return, Geoffrey smiled.

Geoffrey
reached for the hand mirror again and studied his reflection. He tilted his
head down and back up, then from side to side.

He’d grown
older during his imprisonment, but at least he recognized the image that stared
back at him. Merryn had done an excellent job ridding him of the heavy beard
and long hair that had turned him into someone unknown. If he squinted, he
almost looked like the Geoffrey of old.

Which he
would never be.

He placed
the mirror on the table and began pacing the chamber. He paused at the bed and
stroked the smooth sheets. He leaned down to the pillow and inhaled deeply. The
faint scent of vanilla rose to greet him. The scent of Merryn.

That smell
had driven him half mad during his bath.

Despite
being almost strangers, he knew love still existed between them. He felt it in
her touch each time her fingers brushed against his skin. He could hear it in
her voice. Her upset and anger from the previous day had disappeared. He
realized she hadn’t been angry with him but with the entire situation and her
lack of knowledge and control.

He couldn’t
blame her. If she’d disappeared without a trace from his life, he couldn’t
guess what he would have thought or how he would have behaved for a single
day—yet alone years and years without his beloved spouse.

He lifted
her brush from a table and turned it in his hands, wishing she were here for
him to run it through her long, chestnut hair. He returned it to its place and
ran his fingers through his own hair, anxious for what the day would bring.

At least
his dress reflected who he once had been. Geoffrey looked down at the black
pants and hose she’d given him to wear and smoothed the hunter green gypon and cote-hardie.
The clothing proved a little loose on his frame, but to be wearing something
different and familiar after so many years seemed a treat. He opened the chest
where Merryn had pulled the clothes from and saw it filled with items he’d worn
in the past.

Including
what he’d worn on their wedding day, folded and lying atop all contained in the
chest.

He shook
off the dark mood that threatened to overtake him. He had gained his freedom.
He must start living life one day at a time.

Yet he had
no idea how to behave when he met his children.

Merryn had left
him alone to dress and said that she would return in an hour with Ancel and
Alys. She seemed to sense he needed time to himself, though God Himself knew
he’d spent nearly every minute alone for many years.

Before she
left, Merryn stressed to him that the twins must be her primary concern. She
did not want any harm brought to them. If he frightened them, she would escort
them from the room with haste. She explained that his return would be hard for
them to accept since they’d never known him and always thought him dead. She’d
even taken his hand briefly and told him that he must be patient with them if
they did not warm to him immediately.

Geoffrey
took a few bites of the bread and cheese Merryn had brought up with his bath
water. He thought back to the precious moments soaking in the water’s warmth,
the cloth gliding over his chest, his wife’s fingers massaging his head. Such
small things mattered. That was one thing he hoped he could teach his
children—never to take anything for granted—for it could be snatched from you
in the blink of an eye.

He sat in
the chair, strumming his fingers along his thigh, tapping his foot. He’d never
been this nervous going into battle. But the thought of seeing his own flesh
and blood nearly undid him. Geoffrey wiped the tears that came with his sleeve
and took a comforting sip of wine.

A rap at
the door startled him. He sat up expectantly, smoothing his cote-hardie again,
wanting to look presentable. The door opened. In walked Merryn, leading both
twins by the hand. Ancel immediately pulled away and ran toward him, curiosity
written across his face at finding a strange man in his mother’s bedchamber.
Alys waited till Merryn shut the door and took her mother’s hand as Merryn
guided her daughter over to him.

“Good morn
to you,” Geoffrey addressed them.

The twins
greeted him in return, each bowing and curtseying politely. A sense of wonder
filled him as he took in seeing them together for the first time. His own flesh
and blood, here and now, a miniature Merryn and Geoffrey as they’d looked many
years ago. No wonder his wife’s heart broke every day as she’d looked upon the
son that favored his father in every way.

Merryn came
to stand behind them. She placed a hand on each of their shoulders. “Children,
I have something to tell you that will be a surprise.”

“Is Cook
making solteties?” Ancel asked, a hopeful look in his eye.

“She only
does those for May Day,” Alys said. “She won’t make them again, would she,
Mother?”

“No, my
dears. No solteties for your sweet tooth.” Merryn paused. “This is a different
kind of surprise. ‘Tis one that involves . . . our guest.”

The twins
looked back at him, puzzled. Geoffrey tried to smile to put them at ease. It
almost hurt his mouth to turn the corners up in an unfamiliar fashion. Smiles
had been a thing of the past.

But they
could be a part of his future.

“We need to
be introduced to this guest, Mother,” Alys chided, looking at him shyly but
with interest.

Geoffrey
realized that his daughter did not realize he was the man she’d been so
frightened of only yesterday. ‘Twas a good thing. They would start off their
relationship on a much better foot this way.

“Our guest
is not a true guest. He was born and lived here at Kinwick.”

The children
looked from their mother back to him. He nodded reassuringly.

“’Tis he a
cousin of ours then, like Raynor?” Ancel asked. He looked solemnly at Geoffrey.
“I am Ancel, lord of Kinwick, and defender of all here. ‘Tis my sister Alys
beside me. And who might you be, sir?”

Pride
swelled in Geoffrey at his young son’s confidence. Then it hit him. He said he
was lord of Kinwick.

His father
was dead.

Geoffrey
gripped the arms of the chair, his fingers tightening till he thought it might
break.

Merryn
stroked Ancel’s head. “’Tis something hard for you to understand, my boy, but
you are no longer lord of Kinwick. ‘Tis something for you to look forward to in
your future.”

“Why not?”
His large, hazel eyes showed confusion.

“
This
is your father, Ancel. Alys. This is my husband.
He
is lord of Kinwick.”

Alys’s face
scrunched up. She looked as if she would cry. “But Father is dead. He’s always
been dead. Since we were born. You said he was in Heaven above, watching over
us.”

Merryn put
a comforting arm around the girl. “I know, my little love. We all thought so.
But your father has come home to us.”

“Where has
he been?” Ancel demanded angrily, looking back at Geoffrey. “Why has he not
been here at Kinwick, Mother, taking care of us and our land and people?”

“He’s
suffered a blow to his head, Ancel,” Merryn said smoothly. “He did not remember
who he was for a very long time. But he does now. He has made his way back to
us.”

Ancel shook
his head in denial. “I don’t believe you!” he cried, his hands fisting at his
side.

Geoffrey
knew he must speak up before the boy lost control. “Ancel.” He used the tone
Ferand had when he wanted his son’s attention.

The boy
stopped and looked up anxiously.

He reached
out and took Ancel’s hand and then Alys’s, as well, pulling them closer to him.
The feel of his own flesh and blood cause a wave of happiness to pour through
him.

“I
am
your father,” he told them. “I grew up within these walls. I went to war for
England’s glory then returned home and married your mother.” He glanced up at
Merryn, whose mouth trembled. He looked into her eyes as he said, “I loved your
mother from the first day I met her when we were children, even younger than
you are now.

And despite
everything, I never stopped loving her.”

Geoffrey tore
his eyes from hers and glanced back at his twins. “I know ‘tis hard to have a
father after so long a time without one, but I pray you will let me get to know
you—for I already love you both with all my heart.”

Alys threw
her arms about his neck. He held the tiny body against his, fighting the tears
that came. He lifted her upon one knee and looked to his son. Ancel took a step
toward him, and he embraced the boy tightly before placing him on the other
knee. With but a few words, his children had accepted him.

He wished
everyone at Kinwick could be as trusting.

They sat
together, his arms about them, and begin to tell him things about themselves
and their lives at Kinwick. Geoffrey did his best to take it all in, but his
emotions soon overwhelmed him.

Merryn, so
attuned to his mood, said, “’Tis time to let your father rest a bit. He’s been
unwell, so we want him to heal quickly.”

Alys kissed
his cheek, and the twins scooted from his lap. His heart ached, wanting them to
stay forever. He had missed so much of their childhood already. Before he knew
it, they would be leaving Kinwick to foster in other noblemen’s households. The
thought brought deep regret.

Merryn
knelt and took each child’s hand. “We will celebrate his return with a feast
tonight. All will know that their lord has returned.”

“Can we
wear our best clothes, Mother?” Alys asked. “And I want to draw Father a
picture.”

“I do,
too,” Ancel chimed in. “I shall draw the castle. And our land.”

Merryn
kissed both their cheeks. “And so you shall. Now run along to your room. Set
out the clothes you shall wear for our celebration. Draw your pictures. I will
come see them shortly, and we shall practice our letters together.” She rose
and nudged them toward the door.

They gave
him a last look, as if neither could believe he existed, and then left the
chamber.

The minute
the door closed, Geoffrey’s head fell into his hands. Merryn came and put a
hand on his shoulder.

“I am sorry
I did not tell you about Ferand. I know that took you unaware. He passed three
years ago after being ill for some time.”

He shook
his head. “I know much has happened in my absence. I hope he did not die of a
broken heart.”

Geoffrey
rose. Without warning, fury raged within him. Hatred for Berold for holding him
prisoner for so long. At Hardi for not standing up to his father and freeing him.
At himself for not finding a means of escape. At how many years he’d missed
with his wife. Not seeing her belly round with their children. Missing out on
their births and first steps and words. At how unfair life had turned out.

Without
thinking, he swept his hand out, knocking cups and plates to the floor. Food
and wine spilled everywhere. He tore the bedclothes from the bed and ripped at
them. He grabbed the small mirror and flung it across the room.

Then the
rage subsided, as quickly as it came. Geoffrey sank to the floor wordlessly,
not knowing how he would continue to live with such conflicting emotions.

He raised
his eyes and saw his startled wife, a look of horror upon her face as her eyes
swept across the chaos he had brought to the room.

“I must
apologize.” He rose. “I have not been around people in a long time. I fear I
need time alone to try and understand myself and learn how I am to fit back
into life at Kinwick.” He paused. “And with you.”

He took a
step toward her. Merryn shrank back against the wall. His outburst had
terrified her. He had to get away. He had to learn to be the man he once was.
For her sake.

And his.

“I need
time to think. I shall go to the hunting lodge. I will leave at once.” He
hesitated. “Does Mystery still live?”

She nodded.
“Aye.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I have him ridden regularly by a groom,
but he’s had no other master.”

“Then I
shall take him and leave. I will return when I have my feelings under control.”

Geoffrey
moved toward her and took hold of her shaking hands. “I must mourn my father’s
passing. Come to understand who I now am. Accept that I have missed much of my
children’s life. Rid myself of this anger that has possessed me and turned me
into a raging lunatic.

“But most
of all, understand how to be the husband that you need, my love.” He pressed a
fervent kiss against her knuckles.

“Until
then, I am no good to any of you.”