Worth It (46 page)

I hand her the beer, and she smiles up at me. Then, she gives me a quick thank-you kiss. I really want to discuss this Jared shit, so I try to think about the best way to broach the subject.

“So, how was everyone tonight? Did you have fun?”

Her face brightens into that smile I love, but it falters a little as if she’s remembering something uncomfortable.

“It was great, but…” She trails off.

My heart rate picks up, thinking of different scenarios, and the most likely possibility is that Jared made a move. Logically, I know that since she’s here in my arms that it went in my favor—if it is what I’m thinking anyway. But logic and emotion don’t often reside in the same presence—I’m quoting my mom—so I can feel the buildup of tension beginning.

“But…” I say.

She turns abruptly, my arm sliding off her shoulder, so she’s seated on the couch, facing me with one leg tucked under her. She blows a breath out of the side of her mouth. “Okay, so this really isn’t a big deal. I’ve already taken care of it, so it’s no longer a deal at all, but”—she takes another deep breath—“I want to be honest with you about everything, so…” She stops again, looking at me with wide eyes.

She’s holding her breath, causing my anger to build a little more against my will. I raise my eyebrows in question, and she lets out the breath she’s been holding with a string of words that I don’t fully grasp at first.

“Jaredtriedtokissmeandhetoldmehelovesme,” she blurts with doe eyes.

“Jared, what?” I ask, not fully understanding. I think I got the gist, and I grit my teeth. This is what I was afraid would happen tonight. Every muscle in my body grows tight, and I clench my fists, attempting to calm the fuck down.

She huffs and starts chewing her thumbnail before she says, “Jared, um…tried to kiss me, and he said he loves—”

I shoot up off the couch at lightning speed, storm to my room, and slam the door shut. I’m fully aware that I’m acting like a childish asshole, but the thought of that little shit’s lips on her makes me see blinding red. I’m so fucking pissed that I’m shaking, and my knuckles hurt from clenching my fists.

Know I need to calm down before I say or do something I’ll regret, but I have a mental image in my head right now, and it’s making me a little crazy—okay, a lot crazy—especially when it’s combined with him declaring his love for
my fucking woman
while I wasn’t even there.
That little fucking coward!

A soft knock comes on the door, interrupting the pacing I didn’t even realize I started.

“Jed, baby, I’m sorry. Can you let me fin—”

I swing open the door, and seeing her round eyes and soft frown releases the air out of my anger balloon—not completely but a lot.

“Anna, I…” I blow out a deep breath and snatch her around the waist, shoving my face in her neck and smelling her vanilla scent mixed with the onions and garlic aromas from her work. It centers me, reminding me of what I have here in my arms. After another deep breath, I feel much more in control of myself, so I pull back, entwine my fingers with hers, and lead her over to the bed.

Once we’re seated, she starts in immediately, “Jed, I’m sorry, but I wanted to be honest with—”

I silence her with a kiss and shift back, so I can stare into her eyes. “No,
I’m
sorry. I know you didn’t get everything out, but the mental image of his lips on you drove me insane, and I needed to calm down for a minute.”

She nods and relaxes her shoulders. “Can I finish now?”

I smirk and nod once.

“So, when he, um…tried to, um…”

“Kiss you?” I finish for her, fighting the urge to clench my teeth.

“Um…yeah. So, when he did that, I pushed him back and slapped him.”

I can’t help the proud smile splitting across my face, and her lips curl up on one side.

“Anyway, I was like, ‘What the hell?’ Then, he told me he loved me, so I told him that I love him as a friend and that he’s important to me in that way, but that I love you, and you hold my heart.” She sighs sadly, looking away briefly, before bringing her eyes back to me. “He was sad, but he said he understood, and he would be respectful and be there for me as my friend.”

I breathe deeply, taking in her explanation. Part of me wished she had told him to fuck off and not have anything to do with him, but I know he’s a friend, and she so rarely opens up to people for friendship, so I fight the urge to demand that she doesn’t see him.

“Okay,” I say, accepting it and sighing heavily. “Can I ask a favor though?”

She nods slowly with a raised eyebrow.

I continue, “Thank you for being honest. But can you only see him when you’re with me?”

Her lips flatten. “He’s been my friend for a long time, and I set him right about where things stand between us. I don’t think he’ll try anything again. You can trust me. I’d never
ever
cheat on you.”

I nod and try to tamp down the green-eyed monster threatening to come out and fight. “I do trust you, baby, I do. Can you put yourself in my shoes though? Say I had a close friend who was a girl, and we had been friends for a long time. Then, she threw herself at me and said she loved me. Even if I told her the feeling wasn’t mutual, how would that make you feel if I hung out with her without you?”

Anna scrunches her lips and raises her eyebrow in thought, her wheels turning, before she finally nods. “I see your point, Jed, I do. I think I might get a little irrational, too.” She sighs, resigned. “I don’t want to be controlled, Jed, but I understand, so I can make this compromise for you.”

Relief floods through me as I take her lips with mine, and then I lean my forehead against hers. “Thank you, baby,” I breathe.

She smiles in answer, and then she crawls onto my lap to press her lips against mine, and I respond by opening my lips for her.

She pulls back and smiles. “I got your note today.” She leans forward and kisses me briefly. “That was sweet. Thank you.”

She leans in again for another kiss, but I pull back.

“Note?” I ask.

Her brow furrows in confusion. “Yeah, the note you left on my car.”

“I didn’t leave a note on your car.” My anger is threatening to reappear.

She reaches into her back pocket, pulls out a piece of folded paper, and hands it to me. “You didn’t leave this?” she asks nervously.

I shake my head as I open to read it.

“You said this was on your car?”

She nods, and I study the note again.

“Do you have any idea who it could be from?”

She shakes her head and chews on her thumbnail.

“It was probably a mistake,” she says finally. “There are a ton of cars in the parking lot, so it was probably meant for someone else.”

She’s probably right, so I crumple the note and toss it away.

“Yeah, probably.”

She leans down and kisses me again. “Now, where were we?” she breathes and grinds against me.

I let out a soft growl of appreciation. She clutches my hair with her fingers and deepens the kiss. God, I love it when she tugs my hair. It’s so hot. I love it even more when she takes control. It’s even hotter. When she pulls back briefly and kisses along my jaw, I feel it in my dick.

Fuck yeah.

Once she reaches my ear, she nibbles my earlobe, making me groan softly and grind up on her.

“That’s right. I was going to show you how much I love you and only you,” she says.

“Hello?” I answer my phone quickly. I don’t want to be
that
asshole in the waiting room of my therapist’s office. “Hello?” I say a little more forcefully when I don’t get an answer.

This is the third time since Friday that I’ve gotten a call from an unknown number, only to have whoever it is say nothing. A month ago, I wouldn’t have answered it for fear it would be Sam, but I’m pretty sure that chapter is closed for good, so I have no idea who’s fucking with me now. Although, I never hear anything, so maybe it’s a screw-up at the phone place.
That happens, right?

That thought leaves my head when I hear a loud sigh on the other end of the line, and my blood runs cold.
Who the fuck is fucking with me?
I rack my brain as the mystery sigher ends the call. I don’t have any enemies. I keep to myself for the most part. I don’t even—

“Anna?” Dr. Jenson calls my name, pulling me away from my inner panic attack.

I follow her into the room and brush aside my worry.
Maybe it was some sort of mistake, and the person was too nervous to admit it.

“So, how are you today, Anna?” Dr. Jenson begins when I perch myself on my favorite floral therapy spot.

“Good.” I say, nodding, emphasizing my words. “Really good actually.” I smile.

“That’s really great to hear, Anna. So, I was thinking maybe we could talk about—”

“Before we start, do you think we could talk about something really quick?” I ask, interrupting her. This has been bothering me all weekend.

She seems surprised, but she smiles widely. I know she must be happy that I’m taking the initiative. I go ahead and give her a synopsis of what happened between Jared and me and then Jed and me.

When I finish, she nods, looking thoughtful. “So, what about the situation do you want to discuss?”

I blow out an exaggerated breath before answering her. “I have a really bad habit of letting boyfriends railroad me into things I don’t want to do, or I ignore red flags, so I think I want an objective opinion on the situation. I’m pretty sure all is good, but I just wanted to make sure.”

“What makes you think it’s all good?”

I breathe in and out of my nose, frustrated. “Did anyone ever tell you it’s annoying when you ask questions instead of just telling your opinion?”

She laughs good-naturedly. “You’re definitely not the first to say that, but I want to guide you through the thought process, so eventually, you’ll be able to do it on your own. That’s why I ask the questions.”

I nod with my eyebrow lifted in acknowledgment. “Okay, yeah, that makes sense.” I take a couple of moments to think about her question. “I don’t think Jed’s short fuse is a red flag because he isn’t violent. I don’t think the compromise is necessarily a bad one because if situations were reversed, I’d probably feel similar to him. I think that it’s a good thing that we can talk about it rather than him telling me how it’s going to be.”

“Good, Anna. I think you’re correct in your conclusion as long as you’re comfortable with the compromise.”

I nod. “It makes me a little sad that my friendship with Jared is going to be altered a little, but it’s not like Jed is saying I have to stay away from Jared completely to make him happy. As I said, putting myself in Jed’s shoes, I think it’s a reasonable compromise. Maybe over time, things can change, but for now, I can accept it.”

“That’s good. Now, why do you think Jed was angry?”

My eyebrows draw together. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Tell me anyway.”

“Well, because he was jealous,” I tell her.

“What does his jealousy tell you?”

“That he doesn’t want Jared to kiss me?” I say, not understanding this line of questions.

She laughs. “I realize that, but what do you think it tells you about how Jed feels about you?”

“That he cares about me and wants me to himself?”

“In not so many words, yes. Simply, his jealousy—as long as it doesn’t become aggressive and controlling—means he cares for you, loves you, and doesn’t want to share you. If he didn’t have these feelings, then he wouldn’t care who put their hands on you.”

I nod, taking in her words, making me think of a few times exes became jealous, especially
him.
“But by that logic, wouldn’t that mean if boyfriends became aggressive or controlling than they loved me more? I don’t thi—”

“No, no, no, Anna. If someone were to turn aggressive or controlling, then that would be abuse, which is not okay. As long as reactions stay within appropriate and consensual boundaries, then it’s simply human emotions at play. Providing that Jed’s reactions don’t make you uncomfortable and you can talk through them, then it’s okay and normal. The purpose of this exercise was to help you understand that there is meaning behind emotion. Sadness, anger, happiness—they all tell you something. You’re so used to burying everything that I want you to start getting in the habit of identifying the emotion and analyzing it. If you feel sad, don’t be afraid to ask yourself why you’re sad, and embrace it. Emotions aren’t good and bad. They’re just emotions, and they’ll tell you something.”