Worth The Battle (Heaven Hill Series) (8 page)

Bianca’s eyebrows screwed together. Her parents had told her to lie about her age? “How old were you when you did those racy roles?”

“Younger than an adult, but I was passing and that’s all that mattered. That’s all anyone cared about.”

“But what about you? Did you feel weird doing it?”

Jessica shrugged. “It’s the only job I’ve ever known.”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you felt weird doing it, because let me tell ya, when I was working at
Wet Wanda’s
I sure as hell felt weird about it. Didn’t matter that it was the job that would move me onto what I wanted to be. I still felt bad objectifying myself. I told people that I was okay with it, but I really wasn’t.”

Should she tell Bianca that she had felt weird about it? That she hadn’t really liked paying her parents mortgage when they didn’t do anything for it? All they did was doctor the birth certificate they gave to her agent and then signed off as her guardians, which gave them access to her money until in closed court she had become emancipated. Even that didn’t stop her dad from still having a hand in her life; he still held some control until she turned twenty-five. For that reason, they hadn’t spoken in years. At that point, the lie was already there, and she didn’t want to explain to the world as a whole that at fifteen she’d performed sex scenes on the big screen. It was just easier to go along with the lie, and it was all she’d ever known. Somehow out of all of that she had become America’s Sweetheart as she had gotten older and none of those same people even remember the sex scenes. That’s why the pictures releasing were such a big deal. Her dad was going to be pissed when he received the letters that told him his royalty payments would stop because she’s violated her morality clause. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, she had worked so hard to make a name for herself until it hadn’t been what she wanted anymore.

“No, I wasn’t,” she whispered. “I felt like I had to do it because I had people counting on me. It wasn’t until I met Layne that anyone ever even knew my real age. I told him without thinking about it. He confided in me how scared he was to go to war, so I felt like I should confide in him about something.”

“Layne scared?” Bianca grinned. “I can’t even imagine that.”

“He was,” Jessica nodded. “He was really scared. After we went to the ball and he got his assignment, he would sometimes call me drunk and tell me all his fears. I honestly don’t know how he stepped foot on that plane when they shipped out. I think I would have collapsed or run away. He actually thought about running away, but he didn’t want to go AWOL.”

This was surprising to Bianca—Layne hardly ever talked about his time in the service with anyone, much less in this kind of detail. “Wow.”

“I feel like I’ve said too much,” Jessica put her hand over her mouth. “I figured if he shared this with me, he’d shared it with everybody.”

“No,” Bianca shook her head. “He seems downright chatty with you, but with the rest of us, he’s a pretty closed book. In fact, he’s talked to me once about being in Iraq, and that just happened to be one night when he got drunk at
Wet Wanda’s
. The next day he acted like nothing happened.”

“Then I hope you keep this between us,” Jessica said softly. “I didn’t realize he was a closed book about it because he does talk to me.”

“Lord knows I’ve had my share of secrets. I’m no one to judge another.”

“B, we got your order ready,” Luce called from the counter.

When the other woman got up, Jessica took a deep breath, running her palms over her thighs. Sharing Layne’s secrets had been a bad idea, and she wasn’t sure how pissed Layne was going to be if he found out she’d opened her mouth. But she couldn’t help but remember how scared he was.

“Are you scared?”

That was a loaded question if Layne had ever heard one. He focused on the deep breathing of the woman lying in his arms. He focused on how he felt when the two of them were together. “Terrified,” he admitted.

“Is there any way you can get out of it?”

His laugh was hollow. “Go AWOL?”

“That would get you into trouble, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he breathed deeply. “And it would disappoint every person in my unit. I couldn’t do that to them. I couldn’t live with myself knowing they had the balls to go over there and fight for our country when I couldn’t. I knew what I was doing when I signed that government contract. Shit’s just getting real now and I’m nervous.”

She rolled so that she could look him in the eyes, and this time she didn’t keep her emotions hidden from him. Jessica did that so much that it was second nature, but with him, she wanted to be honest, she wanted him to know just how much she cared for him. “I’m nervous too, Layne. I’m scared you aren’t going to come back.”

He was too, but it would do no good to tell her that. “Hey, I’ll be back before you know it, and then we can work on making this a permanent thing.”

Permanent for her would mean leaving Hollywood. She wanted nothing more than to be with him, and she knew that she couldn’t do that unless she left behind the world that held her in such captivity. “I’d love that,” she whispered. Taking a deep breath, she knew she had to take the plunge. “I love you, Layne. When you feel like you aren’t going to make it home, remember that. I love you.”

Nobody had told him they loved him since his grandmother had before she passed away, and that hit him square in the chest. Using his hands, he pulled her body on top of him. “I’m going to hold you to that, Jess. I’m going to use those words to help me come home. I know I have you here, and I know you aren’t going to give up on me.”

“I’m not,” she said softly, tears escaping from the corners of her eyes.

He pushed them away before he rested his forehead on hers. “I love you too, Jess, crazy as it sounds, I love you too.”

“We’re almost there. You guys ordered half the damn store,” Bianca laughed into her phone before hanging up. “According to Jagger, the guys are about to wither away into nothing.”

Jessica smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes like it had earlier. She was worried that she’d broken Layne’s confidence.

“Look, I can tell you’re upset that you told me those things. You have my word, I won’t tell anyone.”

She appreciated that, but she’d heard it so many times from people in Hollywood and then had her secrets betrayed. “I wish I could believe you.”

“I know you’re from a different place than this. I understand your wariness and your frustration, but don’t just assume I’m going to break my word. At least give me a chance. Bowling Green, Kentucky is a long way from Hollywood, California. Around these parts, with what these guys do, we kinda have to keep some secrets.”

That was understandable. She was sure that what these men usually did wasn’t exactly legal. “Okay, I’ll give you a shot.”

“That’s all I’m asking for,” Bianca nodded before whistling through her teeth. “Damn, it’s busy today.”

Up ahead, Jessica saw a garage and what looked like a couple dozen cars and bikes sitting around the property. “They work on all these?”

“Usually. It’s legitimate income, and they all need that for tax purposes. I haven’t ever seen it this busy though.”

They parked over to the side of the garage, and as the guys saw them getting out of the car, they jogged over. “B and Jessica are here with the food,” Jagger yelled, causing an almost stampede.

Immediately, the two women began doling out the food and drinks. Thank God Luce had the foresight to put a name on everything. Jessica handed it out, laughing when people she hadn’t even met yet thanked her and called her ma’am. Finally there were only two containers left. The one with her name on it and the other with Layne’s on it. Glancing to her left, she saw that he stood next to her.

“Here you go.” She handed him the container with his name on it and a drink.

“Thanks.” He took the box and directed her to a picnic table. No one else sat there, so they had it completely to themselves.

They ate in silence, and it was almost uncomfortable for her. She was constantly used to hustle and bustle. Someone always needed her. It didn’t matter if it was for a photo shoot, a phone-in interview, or just to sign off on something that someone else wanted her to do. It felt like in Hollywood, she was always needed. This quiet, this relaxation, was difficult for her to be at ease with.

“I owe you an apology,” Layne mumbled as he swallowed the food he’d taken a bite of.

That took her breath and surprised her. “What did you do?”

“I shouldn’t have been so short with you earlier. You’re right; you’ve never been a part of my day-to-day life. You’ve only seen what I have allowed you to see. I was rude and I didn’t mean to be.”

The turkey sandwich she ate lodged in her throat as he got quiet. She swallowed roughly around it and took a sip out of the cup in front of her. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Layne. I showed up out of the blue, and you took me in when you didn’t have to. I don’t have a right to ask about your life here.”

“Don’t.” His brown eyes were hard as they met hers.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t be like that. If I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here. However, what you don’t seem to understand is that I’m just not sure how to deal with you. It’s been a long time since I’ve been around anyone besides the club. It’s just not somethin’ I’m used to anymore. You gotta be patient with me, Jess, and I’ll be patient with you.”

She sighed. That wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. In her other life, the person sitting across from her would have just told her what would make her happy. Immediately she realized what a brat that made her sound like. “Okay, Layne. We’ll be patient with one another, but there is something you should know.”

“Something else? Honey, ain’t you given me enough surprises the past couple of days?”

When his country accent came out, it secretly gave her a thrill. He was usually able to hold so tightly to it, but she could see him on a tractor with a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. He would be wearing a pair of cowboy boots, scuffed of course, a plaid, pearl-snapped shirt, and a pair of well-worn jeans with a hole in the ass where his wallet went. No matter what, she was pretty sure that Layne wasn’t a cowboy-hat-wearing type of man, so she figured a baseball cap would be sitting on his head to shield his eyes from the sun. She wished she’d known him like that.

“My nude pictures broke today. I just wanted to let you know in case weird people start showing up or placing calls and then hanging up. While I think I’ve been careful about coming here, you never know about the paparazzi.”

A smile spread across his face as he pulled an object from behind his back.

Her mouth went dry when he sat a gun on the table between them. She didn’t know anything about guns and couldn’t tell what kind it was, but it looked pretty formidable.

“They come into my sanctuary, which is this town of Bowling Green…I’m here to promise you, they won’t be leaving the way they came, if you know what I mean.”

That low threat was exactly why she’d sought him out, but it was also the one thing that scared her to death.

Chapter Eight