Teller’s book explained that PCQ members are people of deep faith, often bringing the gods into their recruitment pitch. But their beliefs can’t be the same as the priests of the South or the North. Quosae was sacred land. Disciples of the god of life and human sacrifices on their way to the white waterfall are the only ones allowed, so say the laws.
There have been no known political incidents caused or influenced by PCQ members so far, which is why neither king has sent an army over the hallowed ground to find them. Anyone who believes the land is sacred also believes we don’t need to protect it because the gods will punish those who trespass.
Teller shared his own thoughts after interviewing the mages, the most worrisome being how if PCQ members were to take a side in a war, their backing most likely would go to the more religious kingdom, the South.
I fell into a slumber with Shara on my mind again, telling myself that I should be proud for not acting on my earlier idea. But if that was the case, why did it feel like I’d done something wrong?
I awoke the next morning and looked out my window.
Still raining.
If it continued until night, giving me the cover I’d need, I wouldn’t try to stop myself from carrying out my idea.
So I’m leaving it up to the gods.
The gods
, I mused while I dressed. I didn’t actually believe this rain was they’re doing, but many people did.
They think of the rain as wrath for discontinuing the sacrifices.
How unfortunate for King Quince. The last thing he needed was more pressure to give in.
The weather was the only topic of conversation during breakfast. If people weren’t joking about the god of life punishing us for withholding sacrifices, then they were seriously concerned about it.
Shara set her half-eaten bowl of soup down beside me. I’d seen her sitting with Darri when I came in and kept my distance.
“I know we’re not supposed to give people the impression we’re involved,” she said, “but I can’t stand listening to Darri talk about the gods anymore!”
I barely heard a word she said, too distracted by the lurch of my heart. Gods, sometimes it hurt to look at her when I couldn’t act upon my urges.
She nervously touched her face. “Is there something wrong? You’re staring.”
“Sorry, I’m tired.” I’d learned this could be an excuse for anything so long as it was said in the morning or late at night.
“The book kept you up?”
“That and other thoughts.” I gave her a clue by letting my eyes fall to her lips.
She didn’t get it. “How much did you read?”
“All of it.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed you could read so quickly.”
I feigned insult. “And why is that?”
“You seem…easily distracted. You have one of those endlessly wandering minds. I can tell.”
“Aren’t you astute. If I didn’t have to worry about Swenn, I’d show you how much easier it would be for me to focus.”
“But now you don’t have to worry about him.”
It saddened me that she actually thought that. “He’ll be back, Shara. He whispered to me that I shouldn’t think I’ve won.”
She considered my words as she put a spoonful of soup in her mouth. “Well…horse piss.”
That made me laugh. I was surprised how easily Shara had done it, considering everything on my mind. “Why do you like that line so much?”
She smiled wide. “Because it’s so disgusting but it has such a nice, crisp sound to it. Horse piss!” She seemed to have lost consideration of her surroundings for the moment, for her words came out loud enough to turn everyone’s head nearby. Shara’s face burned red, remaining that way even after everyone returned to their breakfast.
“I think I’ll finish my soup as quickly as I can and run out of here,” she said, her mild-mannered tone in complete contrast to her hurried slurping that immediately followed.
I was still smiling by the time I got to the armory for training. Jaymes forced me and Laney to spar once again, repeating his threat that holding back would result in the other person spending the night in prison.
I was pleasantly surprised when she got her py around my leg almost immediately. Just like I had, she’d improved quickly, yet I still yanked her off her feet by pulling her arm. This gave her the chance to catch herself unlike last time. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to have the strength with only one hand.
She braced her fall, but doing so just made her bounce onto her shoulder when the weight of her torso fell past her extended arm. She covered her face and turned away from us. At least she knew to try hiding her tears.
“You’re fine,” Jaymes assured her. “Do it again.”
Gods, he’s harsh.
She fell harder the next time, but at least she got a knee down. “I’m sorry, Laney,” I said.
Jaymes yelled, “Don’t apologize! Do it again.”
After I knocked her down a third time, she got to her feet slowly, tears running down her cheeks. All the fight was gone from her body.
“You’re fine!” Jaymes scolded. “Get ready to go again.”
She didn’t move, just stood there looking completely defeated.
“She’s not ready yet,” I argued.
“Go!”
Laney didn’t even draw in py this time. I got mine around her leg but hesitated. “She’s not fighting,” I informed Jaymes just in case it wasn’t already clear by the lack of spirit in her stance.
“If you hold back, she’s going to prison!”
I grumbled as I pulled her off her feet once more. Her body slapped against the hard floor as she yelped. I ran to her.
“I’m—” I stopped myself from apologizing. “Are you all right?”
She wasn’t wailing like yesterday, but she still shook with sobs nonetheless, trying to hold in her pain. I helped her up. She leaned into me, squeezing me tightly as she cried against my chest.
“Let go!” Jaymes demanded. “You’re going again.”
“This isn’t helping her improve!” My anger spilled out. “These battles are cruel and a waste of everyone’s time. They do nothing but hurt her!”
“Again!” Jaymes yelled. “And if you talk back once more, she’ll spend two nights in prison.”
I knocked her down over and over. Each time, I worried she’d finally been broken. I didn’t exactly know what that would look like. Would she scream? Would she refuse to get up? Would she leave the armory? Any of those things would tell Jaymes what he evidently was trying to prove, that she should be sent back into a life of solitude.
I struggled to hold back my anger. I offered to stop and let myself be the one who spent the night in prison. Of course Jaymes wouldn’t accept that.
We went on for possibly the longest hour of my life. My worries increased that she’d break a bone or slam her head, but she seemed to get used to losing toward the end of that terrible hour. She started getting up quicker, no longer appearing as sad but angry instead, determined. She even started wrapping py around one of my limbs a few times before I pulled her down.
“You’re done,” Jaymes finally told us.
“One more!” Laney demanded, her pants, shirt, and hair covered in dust, including one side of her face and the tip of her nose.
A smile lifted one corner of Jaymes’ mouth.
“Look, Laney!” I pointed at our commander. “He’s almost smiling because of you.”
Jaymes flattened his mouth, and Laney didn’t even offer a polite giggle at my jape.
“I’m going to knock you on your rear, Neeko! I’ve figured you out,” she claimed.
I knew I shouldn’t be grinning, but I just couldn’t help it. “I’ll give you my salary for this period if you do,” I teased.
“Get ready,” Jaymes said. “Go.”
I did what I’d just done about fifty times before: I drew pyforial energy into a small cluster and sent it over to Laney, shaping it into a ribbon on the way. But as I aimed it at her leg, she fell into a squat, getting her one arm in front of both bony legs.
I wasn’t prepared for this. In the time it took me to lift the py to her shoulder in an attempt to push her over, she’d gotten hers around my ankle. Her py squeezed me and then pulled with tremendous force, giving me no chance to keep my footing. My back hit the unforgiving floor and pain shot through me.
I groaned as I held my back while Laney ran over to me. I thought she would make sure I wasn’t injured, as I’d done countless times to her. Instead, she jabbed her finger at me and boasted jubilantly like a child.
“I outsmarted you! Now you see how it feels. Are you going to cry? Are you?”
“You’re making it extremely difficult to be proud of you.”
“I beat you! I beat you!”
I sat up to find Jaymes trying to tell me something with his expression, his arms folded, his head tilted. It was then that I realized the true point of this lesson: to show Laney that she could endure losing, that she could endure pain. And once she overcame both, she actually might find the mental fortitude to strategize, to improve, and even to win.
But would she ever learn to stop bragging?
“That was easy. All I had to do was protect my limbs and then I pulled you right off the ground!” She held out her hand. I reached for it, thinking she was helping me up, but she pulled it away. “No, the money. Pay me what your salary is for this period.”
Finally it was my turn to smile. “Jaymes, would you mind confirming how much my salary is?”
“It’s nothing,” he said.
She appeared confused. “You aren’t paid?”
“Normally, yes,” I said. “But all of it has been taken away through reductions.”
“You think that’s funny betting with a salary of zero, don’t you?” she snapped.
“Somewhat,” I admitted.
Jaymes separated us like the day before and we trained until lunch. Then we ate and trained until supper. Laney and I never became bored. There was too much we could do with py. Even more, both of us were improving quickly enough for me to catch Jaymes raising an eyebrow every so often.
I only spoke with Shara during supper for a moment as we searched for seats. We decided we shouldn’t sit together more than once a day. Doing so would give people the wrong impression—or the right impression? The
correct
impression. If I hadn’t lived in the castle, I would’ve guessed the war was the main topic among those eating together. But the truth was that people here liked to gossip as if secrets were currency.
I went up to my room after supper. The rain pattered against my window—the gods had decided. Tonight was the night. I knew I should’ve been worried instead of excited, but I couldn’t help myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
To pass the time, I trained for a while and then read three chapters of Gally Fwar’s book about the two queens. There was no way to ensure most everyone would be asleep when I acted out my plan, but the chances were higher the longer I waited.
The rain was my best cover. It was too dark to see farther than a few feet and most people kept their curtains shut to help keep out the cold. I could feel the difference when I spread mine open and glanced out my window.
I hunched into my woolen coat, then tied my cloak around my collar. I thought of finding something to cover my face in case anyone happened to see me, but soon I realized how pointless it would be. If anyone saw me floating, they could identify me as one of the two pyforial mages in the castle…and the other was missing a limb.
Bracing myself for the wind with a quick breath, I unlatched my window and opened it slowly. Immediately, I found I didn’t need to worry about the sound the py might make, for the wind howled loudly, blowing the rain into my face, its chill sucking the breath out of me.
Being on the second floor, I realized it was impossible to jump down without breaking a leg. Considering it was too dark to see the ground, however, breaking a leg would be a fortunate outcome in comparison to what probably would happen.
I’d practiced enough by now to be comfortable holding myself up with py. I gathered it under my arms as I stood near my open window. I stepped up, crouching to fit, then got my legs over.
Trust yourself. You will not fall.
Knowing it would be harder the longer I waited, I scooted off. Instantly, I rose into the air, misjudging the strength needed to keep my body floating. After going up about five feet, I told the py to stop.
But I couldn’t tell the py to go down. I would fall like a rock. Instead, I had to keep forcing the energy beneath my arms upward, just not enough to counter my weight.
I fell quickly, then jerked to a stop and started to rise back up. I fell again, then stopped and rose once more.
Gods, how I hate going down.
Finally I found the right amount of effort and glided all the way to the ground. After I regained my breath, I looked up to make sure I was still below my window. It was the only one open, right above me. In the darkness, windows were the one way of knowing how to get to Shara’s room. Hers was four from mine.
The rain beat down on me. Thunder rolled. My shirt felt relatively dry beneath my coat and cloak, but my pants were soaked as well as my hair. I walked toward Shara’s room.
Suddenly I was falling! I splashed into a body of water and became submerged past my head.
What in two hells is this?
I quickly got my face to the surface and tried to cough out all that I’d inhaled. My chest felt cold with an uncomfortable pressure pushing from within.
I was in some sort of lake, but it was too dark to determine more than that.
My gods, the moat! Shara’s room must be below the moat!
I’d been watching the windows, not my feet.
I climbed out, now wondering if I had the strength to even get back to my own room. I was freezing, exhausted, and soaked, and just walking felt like a boulder was chained to my waist.
The longer you stay out here, the worse it’ll be.
I considered walking around to the front of the castle. No, then guards would need to let me in and they would surely tell the king. He and Jaymes would question me as to my whereabouts. I couldn’t exactly say I fell out my window.
I reminded myself that going up was easier than down. I still could do this.