“Shit, Jo. Why didn’t I know this was how you were feeling?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know. You thought I was just grieving. I didn’t want you to know that I was too weak. I couldn’t handle you knowing that I was suicidal. Ruth took me to see someone. They put me on meds and signed me up with a therapist close to school.”
He twisted his long, chiseled body to face me. “But why’d you just up and leave in the middle of the night? That wasn’t fair. You didn’t even give me a chance to help you.”
The pained darkness in his eyes shattered my soul. “I was beyond help. I hated the way I left, but there was no other way. If I had laid eyes on you, even for a second, I knew I wouldn’t leave. It hurt too much.”
“I was destroyed.” His soft voice was broken and childlike.
“Ronin, I’m so sorry. Pop paid for school and made it clear that he wanted me to start a new life. I know it was wrong to leave you like that, but I thought I was doing it for the right reasons. Please believe me.”
“You left me to grieve the loss of our baby on my own. I had no one. You know how the club is, smoke a bowl and suck it up. I needed you.”
His heartfelt admission left me decimated. I had never heard him be so transparent. I had never allowed myself to think about his pain, focusing only on my own.
“I don’t know what to say.” I lowered my head.
“Don’t say anything. You’re here for me now. I can’t ask for any more than that.”
For the first time in the fifteen years that they had known each other, Ronin poured his heart out. I no longer had the will power to fight his vulnerability. My heartbeat pounded in my chest, my pulse thumping in my throat. His haunted eyes misted, causing him to swipe them with the ball of his palms.
“Maybe that’s why we never had this talk. This shit’s embarrassing.” He gave a half chuckle. I knew he was trying to bury his emotions.
“No, don’t do that,” I whispered.
The defeated expression on his face told me that he knew what I was talking about, and he didn’t try to deny it. There was no use. The pain had beat down his faulty wall.
I stood and turned to face him, extending both hands. He peered up at me. When our skin touched, it was as if an immediate electrical current flushed through my body. We made our way to the bedroom in silence.
I let go of his hands, moved to the foot of the bed, and slid my tank top over my head. In no time, I had wiggled out of my tiny running shorts.
The way Ronin’s eyes widened gave me exhilarating chills. He stared, savoring the sight of me, naked and inhibited.
“Jo …”
I stood and silenced him by gently pressing my lips to his, inhaling the scent of Budweiser lingering on his skin. That was the only invitation that he needed. His demeanor changed from pained to hungry all in a split second.
He bent down, coiled his arms around my backside, and swooped me up off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist, raking his shirt up and over his head.
Our melded bodies stumbled around until backing up into the wall. Ronin’s mouth devoured every inch of me before placing me in the center of the bed.
I watched him strip away his worn out jeans and toss them to the floor. I didn’t shy away from gawking like a fan girl. The man was built like Adonis, a motorcycle riding Adonis.
The way he gave all of his attention to pleasing me, caressing me, was foreign. I was so used to Brad, selfish inside and out.
Hovering over me, I memorized Ronin’s heated expression. His hungry eyes locked on mine. His rough, attentive hands made me tremble under his skilled touch.
Flushed, he abruptly scrambled off the bed, digging around for his jeans. I heard the rip of a condom package. The heat from his naked body sent a shiver between my legs. He rolled my erect nipple with his tongue. I felt my heartbeat deep in my heat and I couldn’t wait a second longer. Groaning, I reached for him, pumping his long, hard shaft until he fell backwards onto the bed.
“Shit, woman. I was supposed to be doing all the work.” His words escaped through a clenched jaw.
“Shut up,” I responded as I straddled his rock hard body, guiding his cock into my begging slit.
“Fuck!”
The sight of Ronin squeezing his eyes shut made me even wetter. He was so caught off guard that he didn’t know what to do with himself. I had him right where I wanted him. I rocked backward and rolled my hips. His full length filling me to the point of the perfect combination of pleasure and pain.
He cupped my hips, his own hips now moving in perfect rhythm with mine. Every back and forth motion causing my breasts to bounce until he clearly couldn’t take it anymore and shot upright, wrapping my legs behind his back. He coiled one arm tightly around my waist and used the other as leverage, pumping repeatedly until his body tensed. The way he gave an overwhelmed gasp caused my own body to respond. Swaddled around one another, complete and satisfied.
We spent all night making up for lost time, exploring one another, as if we had never been separated. I had never been so lost in someone else. For a few hours, we were one.
***
Sun streamed in through the sheer curtain. I stretched my arms high above my head, pressing my eyes closed, relishing the magical night for a couple of minutes longer.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
The deep, throaty voice made my body spring to life. He leaned in for a kiss, my skin still sensitive from the grazing of his beard.
“Mmm, morning.” I tried not to blush, but the glint in his eye informed me that the attempt was futile. I rested my head in the crook of his arm, trailing my fingertips along his ink, outlining the massive, heavy, blacked out X resting over his heart.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous. I could watch you sleep for hours.”
“Stop,” I said as I rolled over onto my side. “Seriously, how can you be so calm? Your entire world has just been turned upside down.”
His moist lips twitched. He tipped my chin and swept the hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear.
“Nah, darlin. My entire world is right here in this room.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
(Ronin)
Steam filled the bathroom as the scalding hot water worked on massaging the knots out of my back. I had hoped it would help ease my tense muscles. Waking up next to Jo had me completely bent.
I had dreamed about her head on my chest with her dark hair fanned out across my skin for years, and it was better than I could have ever imagined. The lines on her face were soft and relaxed. Her full lips curled as she dreamed.
None of this changed the fact that it shouldn’t have happened. Not while we were trying to keep me out of prison for murder. I also couldn’t ignore the fact that she had a boyfriend. She had another life waiting for her, a life that didn’t include me.
Then there was the club. Jesse would have my balls on a fucking skewer for hooking up with Jo.
I toweled off and threw on my jeans. My mouth watered as the strong smell of coffee wafted through the room. Jolene leaned against the kitchen counter wearing nothing but my t-shirt. Her long, lean legs made my dick stir, remembering the way they were wrapped around me the night before.
“Coffee?”
I inhaled, filling my lungs. “Hell yeah.”
She poured me a mug of steaming hot coffee and placed it on the counter. I watched her wiggle her painted toes, shuffling her feet back and forth. It drove me fucking mental.
“I have to take a shower and then we’re going to need to dig in and get down to business,” she said, unaware of the way she was getting under my skin.
“Sounds good. Need any help?” I wagged my eyebrows, engraving her bashful smile on my heart.
What the fuck is wrong with me
?
“Yeah, as much as I would love to, I don’t think that would be a very productive idea.”
I stepped in, closing the gap between us, taking her arms and wrapping them around my neck. With every passing second, I knew it was wrong. I knew that we would never work. Our time had come and gone. But it was like I was hypnotized just by being in the same room with her, breathing the same air. I had to be near her, to feel her touch, hear her soft voice.
“I beg to differ.”
Jolene stepped out of my reach. “No, you’ve got to get serious about this. Pretrial is right around the corner. I’ve been checking and this judge is a real hard ass. And this isn’t some quick in and out paraphernalia charge. We only have a short time to find answers.”
I sipped the black coffee, wiping away droplets from my mustache. She always had a way of setting me straight. “You’re right, I know.”
“Hey, we’re going to beat this.”
“It’s easier to close off the world. I could lock myself in here with you until trial and go to prison a happy man.”
She rested her palms in the center of my chest. “I appreciate that, but it’s not exactly realistic.
Her warm touch against my bare flesh made my heart race. “Yeah,” was all I could manage to say in response. I pulled her hands up to my mouth, brushing them with my lips.
While Jolene showered, I dug out my cell phone to check my messages. I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t heard from Jesse. Clint left a message with some lame ass joke about not getting any sleep with Jo in the apartment. Ruth asked me to stop by the bar sometime today, and Angela had texted me five times in the last twelve hours. She was a cute, little redhead, but she was also an attention whore. We had hung out a few times and I hadn’t been able to shake her off since.
Nothing from Jesse.
I didn’t like being out of the loop. I was still a key player when it came to the Executioners. The thought of them shutting me out made my chest tighten. I wasn’t going down without a fight.
Without my club, I’m nothing.
I ran my hand up and down my jaw. I didn’t even know where to start with the investigation. Most of Jericho would be happy to see an Executioner behind bars, but this was personal. Very few people in Jericho had access to that clubhouse, much less to be able to get into my room, dig through my closet, and get their hands on my personal gun.
“You ok?”
Jolene had gotten dressed. She had pulled her dark hair up into a ponytail and left her face natural, no makeup.
Fucking gorgeous.
“Yeah, just deep in thought.” I examined the way her snug jeans hugged her slim body. “Maybe we should go work at the diner. We can get some breakfast.”
“Sweet. Let me get my bag.” She returned with her riding boots and a handful of papers and files. After shoving them in her bag, she threw on the boots, and beamed up at him. “Ready?”
I didn’t trust myself to be holed up with her for a second longer. We would never get any work done. We walked down the complex stairwell and out the side door.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Herc was leaning against Jolene’s car. An instant smile spread across his gigantic face when he saw me.
“Detail duty.”
I furrowed my brow. “I don’t need a fucking babysitter.” Jesse had gone too far. He froze me out and then insulted me with a detail? Something had to give, and it had to give today.
Herc’s face twisted. It was no secret that the gentle giant idolized me, although I had no idea why.
“Sorry, big guy. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Let the Prez know I’m all good.”
“Can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not?” I tried to control my temper. It had gotten worse over the years and I wasn’t ready to show that side of myself to Jolene. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
Herc straightened, his tall stature towering over his mentor. “Not here for you.” His gaze darted to Jolene.
She stepped forward. “You’ve got to be kidding me?”
“His orders.” His oversized, innocent face dripped with staunch loyalty.
“I know, Herc. No one knows better than me.” She smiled; I figured that she was trying to put Hercules at ease. He had the build of an enforcer, and the heart of a child.
“Fine, but we’re taking the bike.”
“We are?” She asked.
“Hell yeah. Gonna make the big guy here work for it, isn’t that right?” My lips curled as I slapped Herc on the arm. I handed Jolene a brain bucket before strapping on my own.
The panicked expression on Herc’s face as he trotted off to his own bike made me laugh.
“Hold on tight,” I yelled as we thundered out of the parking lot. Feeling the asphalt under me was the only thing that kept me halfway sane over the years. But now, with the familiar heat from Jolene’s body wrapped around me, I was left struggling for air.
I loved the way she gripped me tighter as I zipped in and out of traffic. Herc was coming up from behind, so I darted off onto a side street. I took an unexpected turn down an alley, rocketing past the back of the stores lining Main Street.
Thinking I had won, I peeled out of the alley and crossed through the four-way intersection pulling into D&K’s. I parked the chopper and was pleased to see Herc pulling in behind me.
“Well done, big guy,” I said, leaving my brother beaming.