Yearning Devotion (14 page)

Gwen leaned heavily against the
door. Her mind was completely blank. Every single thought she had had simply
vanished when he’d so easily thrown out the explanations she’d desired for so
long and the explanation wasn’t anywhere close to what she had expected it to
be.

 “Well, Cole, I think we need to
have a very long chat. Since you’ve come clean about your wife, there are
things I too would like to explain and make sure you know exactly what you
would even be getting into with someone like me. But this is neither the place
nor the time for that.” Gwen pushed off the door, straightened her jacket, and
picked up her portfolio that she had dropped on the floor when he had grabbed
her. She looked at him for a moment before saying, “For now I have other
appointments and offers to listen to.

“Plus, I don’t know if I can trust
you again. I don’t know if I can believe anything you just told me. I have to
think if I’m even willing to do this.” She turned and walked out the door
before he could respond.

She made it almost to the bank of
elevators before she stopped. She put her forehead against the wall of the
vacant hallway she was breathing hard. Her body turned back towards Cole’s
office. But she forced herself to turn back around and head towards the
elevators. Before she could think anymore, she turned on her heel and walked
swiftly back to his office.

She moved quickly past his redhead
receptionist without a word and shoved open the door. She threw her folder on
the ground and ran to him. He’d moved to look out the window, his hands shoved
in his pant pockets. He turned at the sound of the door closing. She slammed
into him and pressed her lips to his while grasping his face with both hands. His
arms automatically came up and wrapped around her pressing her firmly to him.
It took a moment before he kissed her back but his tongue slipped into her
mouth and twisted with hers after the shock wore off. His hand roughly pulled
up her skirt so he could grab her ass lifting her up higher. Her legs wrapped
around his waist and flexed pulling him closer to her. He turned and pressed
her against the window.

Gwen slipped her hands into his
hair and tugged his head back from hers before kissing down his neck, nipping
him at the base of his neck. He reached one hand to her neck pulling her hair
while the other slide down over her breast and the nipple pressing against her
jacket. He pulled at the buttons of her jacket quickly getting the four buttons
undone even while his mouth was pressed to hers. Pulling his mouth from hers, he
pushed his hand inside and pressed his large palm against her lower back as his
eyes ran over her beautiful breasts now exposed. He ran his tongue over the top
of them, following the line of the cup of her bra. He groaned and kissed his
way back up to her neck. Gwen quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt as far as she
could while he was kissing her neck. She ran her fingers over his well-defined
abs and chest then wrapped around his neck, pulling his mouth back to hers. As
their tongues slipped around each other, she slid her hand down between their
bodies and unbuttoned his slacks.

“I want you right now.” Gwen murmured
against his lips. She couldn’t reach or she’d have pulled his large throbbing
erection out. Cole quickly grabbed her ass and hiked her higher so that he
could unzip his pants and push down his boxer briefs. His cock sprung free
already dripping, ready to sink deep in her. Gwen reached down and pulled her
tiny thong to the side so that he had access to her pussy. Cole shifted and
sank deep in her as he locked eyes with her. Gwen bit down hard on her lip to
contain the moan that wanted to slip out. Cole pounded into her hard, deep and
fast. Gwen gripped the back of his head and tugged him to her. She bit gently
on his lip before pressing her mouth fully to his. He tried to push back and
lift his mouth from hers but she pulled his hair hard and leaned forward so
that he couldn’t. She groaned into this mouth as fire spread through her body
and her entire body stiffened from the orgasm surging through her. She let go
of his hair and leaned back from him once the intense surges had passed. He was
moving slowly in and out milking out her orgasm. She licked her lips and said,
“Sorry that would’ve been loud. It feels so damn amazing.”

"Tell me you are on birth
control.” Cole said as he continued to rock his hips gently. Gwen tried to use
her legs to make him speed up but he was stronger than her and continued
slowly. He bent and put his head to her neck. Speaking softly, he said, “I’m
embarrassed to admit that I just came too. God, you are so tight. And even
though I should, I can’t stop being inside you. It feels so good.”

“I won’t get pregnant.” Gwen kissed
his temple and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. When he leaned
back a moment later, she tenderly kissed his lips. “As much as I would love to
let you play until you get hard again, don’t you have other business to take
care of. I know I already missed one of my appointments.”

As if on cue, his phone on the desk
rang once before Tiffany’s voice filled the room. “Mr. C, your next appointment
is here.”

Cole groaned but he never stopped
moving in and out of her. He started pushing harder against her once his
secretary was done. His fingers dug into her hips as his eyes looked deeply
into hers. He started slamming so hard into her now that her back was slapping
into the glass wall behind her and he was grunting with the effort. She dug her
fingers into his shoulders and held on while he pounded into her. She was
already getting close again. She’d never been such a hair trigger before but
his cock was rubbing her just right.

“Oh. Oh.” Gwen groaned loudly
before she could remind herself to keep quiet. She bit her lip so hard it was
bleeding as her orgasm made her dig her nails deep into his shoulders. Cole
grunted twice more before groaning quietly as every vein and tendon in his neck
stood out and he came deep in her, again. He leaned forward after a moment to
catch his breath and laid a tender kiss against her lips. He pressed his
forehead to hers, his eyes closed as he breathed hard.

“I told you, you make me so hard.
Now I think I can get through an hour without craving your touch. Maybe.” Cole
said before licking the droplet of blood from her lip. After a moment, he
stepped back from the glass and lifted her off him. He carefully lowered her until
she was steady on her feet. He tucked himself back into his pants and zipped
them up before pulling her into his arms and kissed her hard again. “I think I
have a new favorite position. That was amazing and to think I’ve never have sex
in my office before today.”

Gwen just smiled at him before fixing
her clothing so she was presentable again. Cole stood with his hands on his
hips and watched as she fixed her jacket. Since he wasn’t moving to do it, she
carefully buttoned up his shirt for him. She kissed him again just because she
could, then stepped back and out of his reach. Gwen shifted her hips side to
side. “Damn, I’m going to have cum running down
my legs if I don’t get
to the bathroom to clean up a bit.”

“I think that’s a sight I just
might have to see.” Cole licked his lips staring at her legs before quickly
tucking in his shirt. He pointed to the other door in his office. “Too bad work
calls. There is a bathroom in there.”

“I’ll be just a moment.” Gwen said as
she pushed through the other door. She stopped for a moment when she realized
it led to a bedroom. She quickly went to the bathroom that was connected to it.
She cleaned herself up quickly and was back in less than a minute. She left him
a little surprise on the bath counter. She winked at him before picking up her
portfolio yet again. “You have my number now, on the top of my resume. Call me
tonight.”

Gwen walked back out to the
elevator feeling better than she had the first time she’d tried to leave. She’d
tried to tell herself that she could just walk away, that she didn’t want to
give him the chance he was begging for. She couldn’t do it though. She wanted
him as bad as he wanted her. But now that she knew the whole miserable
situation she lived through had been a horrible misunderstanding, she had a lot
to think about. It would most certainly be a lot of work. Could she really have
two relationships? Could the three of them make it work?

Gwen went to her other
appointments, she wasn’t one to not show up when she’d said she’d be there.
Plus, once Cole knew the truth about her, he might not want anything to do with
her but she wanted to start with everything on the table. She left her second
appointment after her meeting with Cole. It had gone much like she’d hoped. Both
interviews had ended with a job offer being extended to her so she was on cloud
nine. As she waited for a cab, she slipped her phone out of her small purse and
saw that she had a text message.

That
was naughty leaving your panties in my bathroom.
CC

Gwen smiled and quickly tapped out
her reply:

I
couldn’t possibly have kept wearing them. They were soaked even before you slipped
in me.
~Gwen~

Finally a cab stopped when she
threw her arm out. She slid in and told him her address. She was too tired to
deal with the subway today. Her phone vibrated in her hand.

I
really want to see you tonight.
CC

She shook her head. Not so soon.

We
need to have a long conversation before that happens again.
~Gwen~

That’s
what I was talking about. I want to clear the air as soon as possible. What
were you talking about?
CC

Gwen laughed. Sure, that’s what
he’d been thinking about.

Guess
you didn’t enjoy it as much as I did then.
~Gwen~

Oh
trust me. I enjoyed it. But I don’t want only that.
CC

I
need to talk to McKayla then I’ll let you know more tonight.
~Gwen~

I’ll
be waiting.
CC

Gwen paid the cabbie when he pulled
up at her apartment. She lugged her portfolio, which felt like a million pounds
after carrying it around all morning, into the elevator that she rarely used.
She leaned against the wall as it lifted her a few floors. Once she was inside
the apartment, she dropped her keys, wallet and phone on the table before taking
the folder into her design room. She went to the bedroom to slip off her heels
and suit. She sighed in pleasure as she pulled on a black mid-thigh length silk
nightgown. She ran a brush through her hair and cleaned off all the makeup
she’d caked on for her interviews. She returned to the kitchen to get a bottle
of water and pick up her phone from the small table.

Curling up on the couch, Gwen
flipped on the TV. She finally settled on a kid’s movie, nothing else looked
worth watching. She texted McKayla to see where she was. McKayla’s return text
came back almost immediately saying she’d be a few hours since the photo shoot
she was at wasn’t going as smoothly as it was supposed to. Slipping down on the
couch, she rested her head on the arm and curled up on her side. She watched a
few minutes of the movie before her eyes closed and she dozed off.

“Wakey Wakey.” McKayla said sitting
next to Gwen on the couch rubbing her back. Gwen opened one eye, looked at her
then closed it again.

“I was sleeping so good.” Gwen groaned
and rolled onto her back to stretch her arms over her head. She yawned and
folded her arms behind her head while watching McKayla. “What time is it?”

“A little after four.” McKayla
looked across the room to the clock on the wall.

“Man, I slept for 3 hours. Guess I
was tired.” Gwen stretched again before sitting up. McKayla moved so she was
sitting next to her. “So, we need to talk.”

“Sounds ominous.” McKayla lifted an
eye brow at her in question. McKayla relayed what happened that morning with
Cole. “You want to know what I think?”

“Yes. We’ve talked hypothetically
but now I have to know for a fact that this is ok.” Gwen bit her lip nervously.

“Of course it is. I want you to be
happy. I don’t particularly trust him, but I think it’d be worth talking to him
more.” McKayla gave her a small smile and held her hand. “As long as he doesn’t
try to take you away from me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Gwen bent
her legs over McKayla’s lap and laid her head on her shoulder, wrapping her
arms around McKayla’s body. “I love you more than anything.”

“Good cause I love you more than
life.” McKayla softly spoke into her hair before kissing the top of her head.

Gwen sat at a table in the back of
a quiet little Italian restaurant waiting for Cole. She decided she wanted to
speak to him without McKayla there. It was easier to not have to see the pain
and sympathy on McKayla’s face when she spoke about her past. She was tracing
the bottom of her wine glass with one hand while the other hand spun the glass
in circles. She was staring at the front door, waiting for him to show. She got
there 10 minutes early so she could have a glass of wine and get settled before
he arrived.

She knew when Cole showed up
because it was like every cell in her body was suddenly on alert. Her body knew
his even from across the room. She took in his black slacks and green shirt
that he had on at her interview earlier in the day. His eyes locked on her and
he waved off the hostess before heading her direction. Gwen had dressed in a
long sleeve black knit dress that fell to the floor. It had a high boat neck.
She felt like she needed to be as conservative as she could with her clothing.
Her hair fell in loose waves down her back. She smiled as every woman watched
Cole as he walked through the restaurant, even some of the men. His stature and
gait just demanded attention.

“Hi there.” Gwen smiled at him. She
stood to greet him. He gave her a tight hug and a soft kiss. He pushed the hair
back over her shoulder while still holding her close.

“You look beautiful.” Cole said
running his hand down her neck softly while looking into her eyes. Gwen blushed
slightly. He always knew how to get to her.

“Thank you. And you look just as
handsome as always.” Gwen smiled. Cole pulled back and waited till she sat back
down before he took his spot across from her at the table. They both ordered
from the waiter and he disappeared leaving them alone again.

“So, what is it that is so
important that you have to tell me?” Cole wasted no time, going right to the
reason they were there. Gwen bit her lip for a moment and wiped her damp palms
against her dress.

“Well, gee, ok. Jumping right in
are we.” Gwen took a deep breath. “So promise you’ll keep an open mind and let
me explain.”

“Ok. Done. Promise.” Cole said
taking her hand across the table. Just like that. He promised to do what she
hadn’t done for him. Gwen took a deep breath, held it, blew it out, drummed her
fingers on the table then looked up at Cole. “You can tell me anything.”

“I was a prostitute for four years
when we met. But you don’t have to worry about me being clean. I worked for a
company and it was all very monitored.” Gwen said looking at the table. She
held her breathe as she waited for his response.

“Why?” Cole asked. Gwen slowly
looked up and was surprised to not find any disgust or anger on his face.

“That’s it? Just why?” Gwen was
surprised.

“Many people sleep around,
unprotected, carelessly. Why is that so much different than what you did? And
it is obviously something you felt you needed or wanted to do. So, what I want
to know is why did you do it and are you still doing it?” Cole said completely
calm.

“No, I stopped over a year ago. I
realized it wasn’t healthy for me to continue. As to why, well, that we have to
go back years for that.” Gwen drummed her fingers against the table on the hand
Cole wasn’t holding. Taking another deep breath, she began, “When I was 12, I
was kidnapped. A set of brothers decided they wanted a play thing. They had me
for five years. They raped, beat and starved me over those years. Somewhere in
my twisted mind, the control and power I got for selling my body was my way of
dealing with it. For once it was my choice. I lost my virginity to those
bastards. This was a way in my mind to show that I was the one now in control. But
after being with you, I realized it was none of that. It was just my excuse to
allow men to continue to use me because that’s what I was used to. When my
heart got broken, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t want any man, other
than you, to touch me anymore. I didn’t want them to ruin the beautiful
memories I had of what it was like to have a man touch me as though I mattered.
Someone who cared about me as more than a way to get off.”

“I’m glad I made you feel that way
because you do matter to me and I do care.” Cole said rubbing the back of her
hand with his thumb. “I’m very sorry about your kidnapping. How were you found?
Did your parents keep looking for you the whole time?”

“I don’t have parents. Well, I do
but I don’t know where they are. They abandoned me. It was part of why I stayed
in captivity, as horrible as it was. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Gwen
shrugged. “When I got out, I was pregnant with my fourth baby.” Gwen swallowed
hard. “That was what changed everything for me. It made me want to leave to
protect myself and the baby too.”

“You have kids?” Cole was
surprised. Gwen shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes.

“No. They beat me until my body
aborted every pregnancy. When I escaped I was too malnourished to hold the
pregnancy. When I lost that baby I was crushed. It had saved me and I couldn’t
save it.” Gwen brushed away the tears running down her cheeks with the back of
her hand as she fought to hold back a sob. After a moment she continued, “When
I had enough money, I had my tubes tied. I will never have another pregnancy. I
will never have another miscarriage. I will never lose another baby. I’d make a
terrible parent anyway. I know nothing of what it is like to have a normal
childhood and I don’t want to screw up any child the way my parents did.”

“So that’s why you knew you
wouldn’t get pregnant this morning.” Cole said scratching his cheek. He didn’t
really know how to feel about it all. This wasn’t what he’d come here expecting
to hear, but he wasn’t entirely surprised. He’d known Gwen had demons in her
past that haunted her by some of her actions and what she’d said. He had his
own demons but nothing like hers.

“Yes.”

“You never want to have kids?” He
asked out of curiosity.

“Nope. Do you?” Gwen asked.

“I thought I might have one or two
someday. But nothing I’m in a rush for. I’m not sure kids would fit in with my
lifestyle anyway.” Cole shrugged. Gwen sighed, feeling a huge weight lifted.
Cole had acted like what she told him wasn’t anything unusual. While they would
still have to talk about other things in her past, most of it was out in the
air and he had handled it much smoother than most people would. He didn’t pity
her for the situations she had no control over, which she liked. She hated when
people pitied her.

They spent the next two hours
chatting about any and everything. She learned that Cole was an only child.
That he was born into money but he had troubles with his parents, although they
steered clear of that topic. They talked about the fashion world and many other
not so sensitive topics. Finally Cole paid for their food and they walked out
of the restaurant holding hands. They stopped just outside the restaurant. Cole
pulled her to him and pressed his lips gently to hers.

“I’ve wanted to do that all night.”
He said looking deeply into her eyes. A smile in his eyes. “I still remember
the first time I kissed you just like that, you know. I had no idea how much
you would come to mean to me back then but I knew that you were someone special
that I had to get to know better. You are so beautiful even through all the
horrors life has thrown at you. Not just your face and body, although those are
amazing, but your soul. You are still so caring and loving after everything and
everyone was so hard on you. You really are a little miracle.”

Gwen didn’t know what to say so she
just gave him a small closed lip smile. She didn’t think she was special. She
just tried to do the best she could with the cards that she was dealt in life.

“Let me drive you home.” Cole
pulled her towards the parking lot by the hand.