Authors: Rachel Vail
DO:
1. Hair today . . .
It’s just hair. Do something way different! It can change both your looks and your outlook. Get a bob, dye a pink streak, attach a long ponytail. Don’t stress if it’s hideous. Even the most disastrous mistake grows out pretty quickly.
2.
Change your clothes!
Again, go wild. I’m not talking bikinis in January. Self-preservation! But if you are usually goth, try something pretty and pastel, or vice versa. A funky jacket or a wacky pair of sneakers might make people (including yourself) look at you fresh. . . .
3.
Make one thing up . . .
Choose a feature you want to emphasize. Eyes? Lips? Keep the rest of your makeup really simple (or skip it altogether) and go to town on that one feature. Maybe do big lashes this week. Next week, it’s all about lip gloss.
4.
Clean up
Body odor and dirty nails are gross. Wash, brush, start fresh. Nobody wants to work on a dirty canvas!
DON’T:
1. Buy into the hype!
Ew, who wants to let a bunch of old people on Seventh Avenue decide what looks good on you? Also, if it’s totally in now, you will look way out of date in ten minutes. What do
you
like? Confidence is more gorgeous than any $$ jeans.
2. Put all your bread in the window . . .
That’s my grandmother’s expression for someone who shows all her, ahem, assets as much as possible. Honestly, it does look cheap. A little mystery goes a long way.
3. Be a pincushion
What did you think was cute five years ago? Ten? Still love it? Please. Think about that before you let somebody draw a tattoo on you. Plus, they have to use needles—yuck!
4. Ditch your friends for a guy
You can change up what you wear to catch his eye if you really want to (though I never would!), but ditching your friends for a guy is always ugly. And if things don’t work out with the guy, you’ll be sitting alone on the curb with mascara dripping down your face—also not the most flattering look. Trust me—been there. If your mascara’s gonna run (and it is, girl, someday it’ll be you crying the black rivers), you’ll need your pals to wipe your cheeks.
Q: How long have you been in love with Josie?
A:
Who says I’m in love with her?
Q: Aren’t you?
A:
Well, yes. I guess. No. Forever.
Q: Why didn’t you ever ask her out?
A:
She was pretty clear about her feelings on that subject.
Q: What are your ambitions in life?
A:
To be a musician. To save the world. To write the perfect song.
Q: What are you scared of?
A:
Something bad happening to my parents, or disappointing them.
Q: Favorite food?
A:
Red candy. Or sushi (not red).
Q: Bad habit?
A:
Nail biting. Can’t seem to stop.
Q: What is the worst thing you ever did?
A:
Used a friend.
Q: Why did you do that?
A:
Revenge. And I was stupid, all messed up. And maybe horny.
Q: When?
A:
The weekend Josie went away with SuperBoy. Saturday night. 10
P.M.
Q: What did you do?
A:
I will never tell, and neither will Zandra.
Q: Zandra?!
A:
I completely deny anything happened with me and Zandra that night.
Q: Is that why you drove up to get Josie during a blizzard the next day? Guilt?
A:
Guilt. Love. Stupidity. Insanity. Hope. Kind of a chopped salad of dysfunction, huh?
Q: Do you want to end up with Josie, after all that has happened?
A:
No. Yes. Absolutely not. Maybe.
A
S I WAS WRITING
my new book,
You, Maybe: The Profound Asymmetry of Love in High School
, the question in my mind was: What happens the first time love crashes over your head and pulls you in? What do you risk? What do you lose and what do you gain?
At the time, my son, Zachary, was ten, and performing in the Metropolitan Opera’s production of
Carmen
. I was never much of an opera fan, I admit. I had always thought of it as, well, a bunch of fat people shrieking in foreign languages. But Zachary loved it, and there he was up on that huge stage, so what was I going to do? Buy a ticket and watch. Of course. And listen. And slowly—despite my resistance—the beauty of it started reaching me.
But still, it’s true, my mind would wander. As I sat in my red velvet seat in the audience, I found myself, as always, working. Imagining. Bizet’s music became the soundtrack inside the mind of this cool tenth-grade girl I was creating, as she fell horribly in love with a devastatingly charismatic guy.
During the seventh performance, I figured out why I was getting such good work done there. It wasn’t just that I was trapped, unable to get distracted by e-mails and alphabetizing the refrigerator. It was much more fundamental: The opera
Carmen
was enacting the same story I was telling in my book!
I almost jumped up and shouted YES! But they frown on that in the opera house. Also one of my shoes had fallen off under the seat in front of me. I waited until the intermission, fished out my shoe, and then ran to a café across the street to write, write, write. Those hours when the story comes fast and furious are the best part of being a writer.
There are, of course, big differences between
You, Maybe
and
Carmen
. Nobody is singing in the book, certainly not in French, and the story takes place in Pennsylvania instead of Spain. Also, in
Carmen
, it is the guy who throws his life away for doomed romance. Gender switch! The flirtatious, sexy Gypsy Carmen became, in my book, the magnetic senior hottie Carson; Don José, the star-crossed soldier, became smart, strong, fragile Josie Dondorff. Also, in mine nobody ends up dead. In place of a knife there’s a waffle bat. But both are stories about losing yourself in love.
You may have fun going through and finding the many tricky little references to the opera—from settings to expressions. (Hint: Emelina is based on a bullfighter!) But you don’t have to go there at all. Either way, I hope you will enjoy this story on its own.
It was horrible and exciting, equally, becoming Josie as I wrote her story. I wanted to explore, as part of a tale of first love, dealing with hook-ups (the friends-with-benefits issue, as well as the not-even-really-friends-just-giving-benefits issue) and questions of different kinds of love (parent/teen love, friend love, romance). As always, I have many more questions than answers.
There is so much that happened in the lives of every character in this book that is not contained in the text. As I create characters, I write short stories and sentence completion tests and diary entries for each of them, even the ones who have tiny parts in the main book. It’s not efficient, but it is the best way I know to ensure that my characters are multidimensional and interesting. But then I can only include the stuff that propels the story along—so maybe 5% of what I write actually makes it into the final book. Sometimes even really juicy stuff doesn’t get in. Is it any wonder I sometimes have to write a new book from the perspective of one of the characters in a book I just finished? This is why for my next project, I am writing a trilogy about three sisters the summer their wealthy, beautiful, seemingly perfect family falls apart—one book from each sister’s point of view, so as you read, you find out more and more secrets they keep from everyone, even each other. . . .
For more on my books and how I write, as well as tips for your own projects, please visit my website. I’d also love to know your thoughts after you read
You, Maybe
or any of my other books. What would you have done in Josie’s situation? Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by your feelings that you ignored your own best rational thoughts? I’d love to read your opinions.
Visit me anytime at www.rachelvail.com.
J
OSIE IS SMART
, strong, and independent, but when she falls for Carson Gold . . . well, not for nothing is it called a CRUSH. Take this quiz to find out just how bad
you’ve
got it—or how good!
1.
When you see your crush, does your body freak out?
(a) My palms sweat, I can’t remember how to breathe, speak, or walk, and my heart makes every effort to evacuate through my ribs.
(b) No.
(c) My stomach tightens and my fingertips go frosty.
(d) I can’t stop smiling and my cheeks and ears heat up.
2.
How do you feel when you spend time with your crush?
(a) excited, buzzy, nervous
(b) bored, distracted, itchy
(c) embarrassed, shaky, self-hating
(d) relaxed, happy, confident
3.
Think of someone whose judgment you respect, who is totally on your side. What would they think of your crush?
(a) that we are a surprising match, but interesting, maybe
(b) that I deserve better
(c) that I should immediately delete his name from my phone, IM list, brain, and vocabulary
(d) that we are terrific for each other
4.
If there is something I like to do that my crush is not into . . .
(a) I would just do it without him.
(b) I would stop doing it.
(c) I would pretend I am not, never have been, never would be into it.
(d) I would be excited to tell him about it.
5.
If my crush is into something I am not . . .
(a) We’re actually into a lot of the same things, but I guess I’d be like, fine, whatever, we’re not supposed to be fused at the brain.
(b) I would be all like, ew, you like that? And try to get him to stop it.
(c) I would try to get into it, whether I like it or not.
(d) I would ask him about it.
6.
When I daydream about my crush . . .
(a) I imagine things we’ve done together, but make them come out better by changing what each of us did and said.
(b) It’s hard to imagine us together, actually.
(c) He’s way nicer to me than he is in real life.
(d) I fantasize about all the fun stuff we’ll do together.
7.
When I see my crush talking with other girls, I feel
(a) a little vulnerable
(b) homicidal
(c) suicidal
(d) eager to join the conversation
8.
What does your crush think about you?
(a) that I am hot
(b) I have no idea if my crush thinks about me at all.
(c) that I could lose a few pounds or talk less
(d) that I am beautiful, funny, interesting, fun
9.
When we talk, it is usually
(a) just chatting about school, life, friends, thoughts.
(b) We don’t actually talk to each other.
(c) criticism.
(d) about things we have done or might do together.
10.
If my crush and I were trapped in a room alone together for an hour,
(a) we would both be pretty happy about it.
(b) we would probably end up arguing.
(c) we would both be stressed out of our minds.
(d) we would wish for another hour.
11.
When I am with my crush, I act
(a) like myself, but tense because I am trying so hard not to mess up.
(b) like I always act.
(c) like the person I think he wishes I would be.
(d) like myself at my most comfortable and best.
12.
If I could just somehow subtract my crushy feelings for my crush,
(a) I would recommend him to my best girl friend as a great catch for her.
(b) I would like him as a buddy.
(c) I would have nothing to do with him.
(d) he’d probably be my best friend.
13.
The part of me that’s most interested in my crush is:
(a) my heart—I just have these amazing feelings for him.
(b) my head—I know we’d be good together.
(c) unable to admit in a quiz format—okay, it’s major lust.
(d) all of the above.
SCORING:
Count up how many A’s, B’s, C’s, and D’s you answered.
If your answers are mostly A:
There may be something growing between you and your crush, but don’t push. As you enjoy those weird tension-filled moments, don’t let him pull you away from the other stuff you care about. Stay busy with friends, activities, everything that keeps you happy, productive, and sane. If your crush is a good match for you, all that stuff will draw him nearer. . . .
If your answers are mostly B:
Sounds like you are more interested in having a crush than in this particular crushable. That’s fine! It doesn’t have to happen now-or-never. A crush will womp you in the head when you least expect it . . . eventually! I promise.
If your answers are mostly C:
Though your heart may pound, anxiety does not equal love! If your crush is from afar, don’t worry and enjoy! But if this is someone you are trying to have a relationship with, BEWARE! It is bad news to be into someone who is not good to you, or causes you more trouble than happiness. If you wouldn’t take it from a friend, definitely don’t take it from a crush. Get out.
If your answers are mostly D:
Sounds like you have a good healthy crush going. Yeah! Remember to keep your dignity and sense of self and then—have fun! Having a crush is one of the best parts of being alive . . . after, of course, having a crush on someone who has a crush on
you
! Good luck!
H
OW’D YOU DO?
Any surprises? Can you guess how Josie would have scored? If you want to know how she did, or how Rachel scored on the quizzes—yes, she does test these things on herself—visit her website (www.rachelvail.com) and go to quizzes! She’d love to hear how you did, too!