Your Goose Is Cooked (A LaTisha Barnhart Mystery) (16 page)

It was about time for Chief to arrive at the Goose for William’s interview. With that in mind, I crossed Gold Street, knowing good and well there was a car coming. Pedestrians have the right of way. Cars have brakes. Unless they wanted me as their hood ornament, I knew I was safe.
Which is why I didn’t pay much attention to what kind of car it was zipping toward me.

Subconsciously, I realized this car was not slowing, so I turned, hands on my hips, and glared. The car swerved around me. I got a glimpse of wild red hair and a huddled form behind the wheel.
Must have been one of the elderly folk from the town over driving through Maple Gap to Denver.
They sometimes liked to stick to the back roads, rather than be intimidated by the highways.

For good measure, I shook my fist at the person, even though my heart beat wildly at my close call.

Regina and company streamed out of Wig-Out.
One lady wearing the cape around her neck and looking funny with one side of her hair longer than the other.
“I saw that,
LaTisha
!” Janet Garman, the caped lady, stabbed her hands down on her hips and shook her head.

Regina came to my side. “Are you okay?”

Even Shiny Portly stomped out of the grocery with a young cashier in his wake. “What was that all about?”

I broke out in a cold sweat.
My armpits producing an ice storm.
My legs got weak. Regina, bless that child’s heart, took my arm and led me to a bench at the entrance to the store.

“Go get her a drink of water,” I heard Shiny tell his employee.

“You all stop your
flappin
’,
I’m heartier than a hail storm.”

Regina crouched next to me, “I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.” She got to her feet. “Did you recognize that car, Shiny?”

“Nope.”
He wiped a hand over his bald head. “I just happened to glance up and see a flash of blue swerve around
LaTisha
. I’d just told Bob to go out and gather up the baskets.”

The power doors to the store swept open and Bob reappeared. He handed over a little bottle of water. Shiny turned his questions on Bob. “What did you see?”

Bob shrugged. “It was an old car. Big and blue and the driver had longish red hair.”

Which is what I had seen myself.
Well, minus the big and blue part.

“You need to report this,
LaTisha
,” Shiny admonished. “Why don’t I have Bob deliver over to the Goose that batch of peaches you’re going to use to reform Lionel? You can guarantee I’ll be over this evening to try some of that cobbler.”

“I’ll give you an extra helping.” It was the least I could do for his kindness. I took a long pull of water, feeling calmer. “
Which reminds me.
Did you happen to see Eugene and Betsy
Taser
come
in to your store yesterday?” I was careful not to lead by adding a specific time to the question. If anyone pays attention to his customers, it was Shiny.
 

Bob wandered off to collect baskets as Shiny rubbed his fingers over his cheek.
“Seems I remember Betsy coming in and complaining about something.
I think she was having a hard time finding that antibacterial gel stuff everyone’s so crazy about.”

“I remember them because he yelled at me,” Bob nested two carts together and pulled a third into line. “I was restocking the shaving cream. That sale is emptying the shelves faster than I can get it up there.”

So neither of the
Tasers
were
in a good mood. It didn’t seem out of character for either of them. “What did he yell at you for?”

“I pointed out where the antibacterial wipes were after he griped about us not having any. He apologized and was nice to me after that.”

Shiny grinned. “Are they being considered for the good
citizens
award or something?”

That was a knee-slapper. “I’m sure if he could get away with presenting it to himself, he would.”

“What’s your take on Aidan getting shot?”
Shiny’s
bright eyes slipped to mine real sly-like. “It sure is a shame to know peaceful little Maple Gap has had two murders in a little over two years.”

“If you’re thinking I’m giving you any information, you can forget it. You’re right on the murder stuff, but it’s more than a shame,
it’s
humans hating humans.”

Shiny didn’t have the grace to look rebuffed by my rebuke. Instead, he latched on to the second half of my reply. “Things keep right on changing just as they stay the same.”

The doors to the grocery store opened and who should come waltzing out with a bag of popcorn in one hand and his gums chomping fiercer than a beaver. At least beavers had teeth. Real teeth, that is.

Hardy stopped dead, his eyes huge. “
LaTisha
?”

“I sure
ain’t
a ghost. What you eating popcorn for?
You aiming
to get yourself an infection or something?”

His eyes crinkled at the corners and he held up the bag.
“Its
hulless
popcorn.
I suck on it till
it’s
mush, then swallow it. I was hungry.”

Shiny patted Hardy in way of greeting. “
LaTisha
almost got hit by some crazy driver in a big blue car.”

Hardy plopped down on the bench beside me. “Who was it?” He tilted the bag over his gaping maw and spilled a long trail of popcorn into his mouth.

“I don’t know
,
they didn’t stop to introduce
themself
.”

Hardy patted my leg. “Don’t get so mean.” He paused and stared at me a bit.

I frowned hard.

“I know that look. What did you go and buy this time?”

Why did I have to be so transparent?

Shiny busted out laughing. “You got her pegged, Hardy. I saw her trot on over here from the direction of Sasha’s shop.”

“You want to change your order for peach cobbler, Shiny Portly?”

Shiny’s
laughter died a sudden death.
“No, ma’am.”
He fooled with the tie to his apron and ran a hand down his belly. “Let me go make sure those peaches are ready to deliver.”

Hardy dug his hand down in his bag again and crammed his mouth full.

I snatched the bag away.

He straightened real quick-like and frowned.

“You tell me what you’ve been doing all this time and stop loading up on stuff you’re not supposed to be eating.”

One side of Hardy’s mouth quirked upward and his eyes seemed to turn into liquid chocolate.
Puppy eyes.
“Dr.
Cryer
didn’t say I couldn’t suck on stuff.
Too sore to chew anyhow.”

I hitched to my feet to avoid caving in to those beautiful eyes. Hardy fell into step beside me. “You tell the chief about William hiding in Regina’s Dumpster?”

I figured he’d be yapping about his popcorn, so this change in conversation flipped on my suspicion switch. “Of course, I did. What got you to thinking about William hiding in that Dumpster?”

He stopped dead. He had my full attention, knew it, and was plotting to milk it for all it was worth. I rattled the bag of popcorn. “Spill it or I’ll spill this all over the sidewalk for hungry little birds.”

Hardy frowned at me. “You don’t play fair.”

“I don’t want to play at all. Now talk.” But even as I talked tough, I held the bag of popcorn out like it was an olive branch.

“I think I might be able to figure out who almost ran you over.” He got himself a handful, sucked on it a bit,
then
swallowed. “We’re going to do some Dumpster diving first.”

Chapter Seventeen

“You’ve gone crazy in the head if you think I’m diving into a dumpster.”

Hardy flashed his new grillwork. “You won’t have to. I’ll do it for you.”

“What do you know about sorting through trash?”

“Remember that Christmas when you had a baby on each hip and one baking? We needed a bed for Tyrone because Shakespeare was on his way and we only had two cribs.”

My mind churned back over that time and the wooden headboard, mattress and box spring that magically appeared Christmas morning. Tyrone had been thrilled to have a big-boy bed. “You got that from a dumpster?”

Hardy’s eyes twinkled. “Went over to the apartments in
Bakersville
on the seventh of December when the landlord evicted people. I rooted around and found that bed. All I had to do was figure out a place to hide it so I could refinish it before Christmas.”

“What are you thinking we need to go Dumpster diving for?”

We stopped outside the entrance to the Goose and he leaned in tight. “That blue car. Did they say anything about recognizing it?”

“Just that it wasn’t a new car.”

Hardy stroked his jaw. “I saw a car I’d never seen before parked behind Betsy
Taser’s
office. You know how she has those big trees and that Dumpster that kind of hides anything parked back there?
Looked like someone was throwing something out.”

Betsy’s real estate office was part of a small row of stores on the same side of Gold Street as Sasha’s boutique but farther down. I knew the exact spot he meant. “We can’t dive into her Dumpster during the day.”

Hardy shook his head. “We’ll go tonight.” Proud of himself, he did his best to irritate me and tugged north on the waistband of his light blue polyester pants.

I ignored him. “You pick up on anything else?”

“Went around to the library.
Carl
Baereum
was there looking over anatomy books. He was making a sketch of an arm—”

“Maybe he needs that for his job.”

Hardy pursed his lips. “You didn’t let me finish. I asked him about what happened between him and the mayor. He said Eugene claimed he was overcharging people for burial, charging for crypts and such and not following through with the product, taking advantage of the grief-stricken and all that.”

“You think it’s true?”

Carl was the only funeral home director within forty-five minutes of Maple Gap. He’d done a good business for all these years, but he didn’t seem the greedy type. I wanted to groan. All this detecting made me start having to rethink people I’d known for years, or thought I’d known. I could see why cops tended to become cynical.

“Anything could be true,” I pushed the words out, hating the thought of them being true.
“Best not to jump to any conclusion at all.”
Judging by the heads bobbing over plates in the Goose, the breakfast crowd was still going strong. “I’ve got to get in there and send these people home.” I lowered my voice for Hardy’s ears only. “Chief Conrad is coming in to question William.”

Hardy pulled a yawn. “I’m going to drag myself back home to bed.”

“Don’t be wasting time snoring. Pick up your prescription, pop down some pills, then check out Aidan’s like I asked.”

“Too tired.
A nap will perk me right up.” He shot me a cheeky grin and did a little hip wiggle for my benefit.
“Got to keep fresh for my woman.”

He didn’t even wait for a response, just waggled himself down the sidewalk aimed in the direction of home. I shook my head and pushed open the door of the Goose. The smell of toast, cinnamon, and bacon hit me full face. Elizabeth met me at the stand, visually relaxing when she realized I wasn’t another person waiting to be seated.

“News must have leaked out about the murder.
Seems like I’ve seen more strangers this morning than I have in the last decade.”

I took in the flyaway hair glued to her forehead. “You’re looking ragged.” I turned and flipped the sign to read Closed from the outside. “That’ll take care of it.”

“I haven’t waited tables since my high school days, but I am proud to say I only messed up one order.”

I waved her onto a seat at the counter. “That’s better than Hardy does. I’ve had to fire that boy a half dozen times. Relax and sit. What can I get you?”

Elizabeth rested her chin on her fists. “A tall glass of water and one of those cinnamon rolls William made this morning. People raved over them all morning, now it’s my turn.”