Your Little Secret (20 page)

She could almost hear the whiney tone to his voice, but the moment his cool hands hit her clammy skin she melted and realised that he was really concerned for her. Willing her eyes opened, she looked at him and offered a weak smile.

“How about something to drink?” he asked her, and she gave a curt head nod before letting him leave her alone again.

Laying there, looking up at the bright white ceiling, Amber wondered if this was punishment for pushing her body to the extreme with so many emotional rushes. The way her stomach roiled and sent her running for the bathroom, told her it was probably the meal she ate last night. Even if it wasn’t, she was off shrimp for life now.

“Amber!” Connor said coming into the room in a panic. “Baby, this isn’t good.”

“Food poisoning, I’m sure,” she pushed him away, really not wanting him to sit here seeing her heaving on her stomach, throwing up until there was nothing left to bring up.

However, Connor didn’t seem to mind. He knelt beside her, running his hand up and down her back. “I’m going to get you settled in bed and run down to the chemist to get some
dioralyte. I can’t let you get too dehydrated.”

“I’ll be fine,” Amber managed to say but felt her stomach wretch several times before she did throw up.  When she settled, she was happy with Connor being close and even more thankful when he helped her up and back to bed.

Tucking her into the bed again, he kissed her forehead and got up. “I’ll be back in like ten maybe fifteen minutes. You sleep.”

“Okay,” she mumbled and closed her eyes.

After he left her, she curled up and heard the door close consequently. Lying staring out of the window, Amber realised she didn’t want to leave him and being ill was only wasting the precious time she had with him. A part of her didn’t want to go back to Leeds to see how cosy Ethan was with Eva, but another part wanted to feel his arms around her, especially with her being ill and far from home.

Closing her eyes, she tried to calm her stomach, but when the bile began to rise, she ran from the position she was in and collided with the toilet just in time. Retching a few times, she gave into crying and curled up on the floor.

She just closed her eyes and tried to forget it all for a moment.

“Hey,” Connor’s voice burst into the still room, immediately getting closer. “Let’s get you to back to bed.”

Amber didn’t say anything, she just allowed him to pick her up and look after her. She didn’t even realise she had fallen asleep until he woke her up. He carried her from the bathroom and to the bed. As he gently put her down, she clawed at his jacket he was wearing.

“Don’t leave,” she whispered the same words she had uttered the day before. This time she really needed him more than ever.

He said nothing, threw the jacket off and jumped into the bed with her. “I’m not leaving you,” he vowed at her again. “It’s always going to be you and I, Amber.”

Those words felt like her entire heart was freezing. Ethan had used those words. He had literally wooed her with them, used them to lull her into a safe place.

Like a tidal wave, Amber collapsed against Connor’s chest. She used being ill as her excuse to just cathartically cry. Except, she knew, without a seed of doubt that she was crying in grief, heartbreak and striving to find liberation after a whirlwind of affairs, deceit and losing half of her soul.

She didn't want to be ill. Not right now. And the one man that she thought could make her feel better; really wasn't. He was constantly out, making phone calls doing work stuff. So she spent the majority of two days sat in his swish apartment, watching the world go by. His balcony had become her
fortress, she loved the view he had. Sipping on her tea, Amber felt some contentment. Even though she missed Ethan, she wouldn't let this phase her, if it wasn't phasing him. After all, it took two people to make love like they did that night. And yeah, maybe she did swan off to London, but she couldn't help the feeling inside her stomach.

Pulling her dressing gown tighter around her body she suddenly felt hungry. Connor wasn't here and it was nearly five in the evening. Standing from her seat she opened the balcony door and headed for the kitchen.

Scanning the cupboards she noticed he had barely any food in, just a few odd bits, tins of soup, baked beans. Pulling her iPhone from her pocket she had a new text message.

*Will b back at around 7:30ish. Hope you're feeling better baby. Sorry
it's taking so long, hate leaving you. Xxx*

Inspiration hit her and she escaped to the bathroom.

***

So her hair was now straightened and styled, her make-up was clean and free from smudges and she was dressed in her favourite maxi dress that showed off her cleavage. If he didn't want her like this, he wouldn't want her at all. Amber was small enough, but could only just pull off a maxi dress.

Breathing in deeply she pushed all thoughts of Ethan and Eva from her mind. It was her and Connor tonight. Looking at the clock on his kitchen wall, it was five minutes before Connor was due back.

Amber carefully lit each candle she had placed on his dining room table and checked her chicken in the oven. She had popped out to the local supermarket so she could cook him something nice.

Hearing the door go she hid behind the breakfast bar in the kitchen and smiled when it slammed.

"Amber!” Connor
shouted, his tone on anger. Standing to her feet she stroked down her dress and walked towards the front door. This was not how she wanted this evening to start. When Connor came into view she could see his face radiating on anger, the heat glowing from him.

"What's wrong?" Amber asked in a whisper, barely audible.

"I just had an interesting phone call with Ethan. He rang me for advice could you believe it? Me." Lifting her in his arms he kissed her passionately. She sighed with relief.

Amber thought she would have been done for then, that it was all over. "What did he want advice from you for?"

"Well you know I work in the textiles industry? He wanted to know about a certain suit. I just told him to buy one from Armani and have done with it. I have no idea what he would want a suit for though. He works with charities doesn't he?" Nodding her head Connor lowered her back to the ground.

"I was hiding from you; I've done you a surprise dinner."

Connor had already eaten, but he could see the effort she had put into it as he wandered into the kitchen. "I'm starving babe. What are we eating?"

"Chicken breast stuffed with mozzarella, with my home made sweet potato wedges." Smiling with confidence she pulled the chair from the table and waved him to sit down. "I don't cook for you enough, I wanted to treat you."

"Thank you, Amber." Connor said as he sat in the seat.  "You didn't have to do this, and you're sick!"

Amber pushed Connor back down to his seat as he began to stand. "I feel much better. Wine?" She asked him and he nodded his head, grateful to have this beautiful woman in his life.

"You look beautiful," he shouted at her as she wandered back into the kitchen.

"Thank you," she shouted back. "I love you, Con."

She heard no reply from Connor, but suddenly felt his hands brushing across her waist line. She smiled as he pressed his face into her neck and began to lavish her skin with kisses. One after another he drove his way up her neck and over her jaw line before spinning her around and kissing her on the lips. Immediately it was like a fever pitch ignited upon them both. Even with food in the oven, it seemed their appetite craved each other more.

Once again, Amber became thoughtless. As Connor laced his fingers through her once perfect hair, she didn’t withhold. The mere mention of Ethan earlier had riled her up, brought about the nausea she was pleased had worn off, and now it seemed that Connor was going to forget him. She’d gladly take that.

Suddenly, Connor pulled back, smirking hard, “I think the chicken’s burning.”

“Oh shit!” Amber exclaimed, having forgotten completely about how closely done the meal was. Grabbing the nearest tea towel, she opened the oven to billowing puffs of smoke and immediately choked on them. Pulling the tray out, she finally saw the charcoaled meat and looked up at Connor. “Oops,” she mastered and stood up. “They’re well done.”

Connor laughed and pulled her close to him, leaving the heated oven and overcooked food. “How about we order in?” he asked her. “I love the thought and I’ll let you cook again tomorrow if you promise to get it on a plate edible.”

“Deal,” she giggled at him, deciding on making Italian for him. “What takeaways are good around here?”

“Thai,” he nodded and looked pleased with that decision. “Or the little Chinese down the road.”

“Let’s eat Thai,” Amber told him and began to undo his tie. As it became free of its knot, she set it down and began to unbutton his shirt. “I’ll let you order in.”

“Okay,” he told her. “I’m going to go for a shower as well. Then we’ll rekindle what we started,” he literally purred at her. He gave her a peck on the lips before pulling away from her. “I won’t object to a joint shower.”

The air failed her then, and Amber looked at Connor as if she were a deer caught in the headlights. The last joint shower had given her that ounce of perfection. “I had a shower earlier,” she told him convincingly. “No point me showering again.” She gave a smile and was pleased when he bought it and left her be with a bright smile.

Finally panting on the breaths she had been holding, Amber decided she needed to be
take a leap of faith. Grabbing her phone, she dragged herself out on to Connor’s balcony, and the moment the shower began she quickly dialled Ethan’s number. Sinking to one of the seats, she both prayed for an answer and for voicemail.

“Hello there stranger,” he played his welcome coolly.

Amber decided to do the same and keep herself normal. “So you can ring my boyfriend, but can’t ring me?”

“I didn’t think you’d help me out with suits, babe,” he told her in a casual tone. “Plus, I guessed from your silence that London had distracted you.”

“If you had rang, you would have known that I’ve been really ill,” she told him coldly, the playfulness gone. “So yeah, it’s
oodles
of fun.”

“Shit,” Ethan spoke back, “Are you okay now? Connor said nothing. He said he was with you.”

The hairs on the back of Amber’s neck stuck up. “No,” she literally forced out. “He’s been at the office all day. He left me to get better, but he’s not why I rang. I miss you like crazy even though I gather from Facebook you’re not missing me.”

Ethan sighed heavily at that. “Eva likes to document everything. Kind of like how Connor does. How was London dungeons? Was there any groping in the shadows like in York?”

“This isn’t a pissing contest,” Amber groaned back. “And to be honest, your last call to me wasn’t our best. I’ve avoided Facebook like the plague for the most part, but it seems you just avoided me full stop. How is the future wife?”

“Now who’s making this a pissing contest?” Ethan asked her back, and suddenly he lowered his tone to talk to her. “What happened that night, never happened, okay? We both made it clear that, well, it wasn’t what we wanted.”

“You know what?” Amber began, feeling the cracks in her heart widen, “I wish I hadn’t rang you, Ethan. I miss you like crazy. I hate what happened, but not for the reasons you think. I’ll leave you to believe what you like, but I thought we were set. Clearly I thought wrong when I believed all of your little sweet nothings and continual attempts.”

“If I had known that sex would have torn us apart then I wouldn’t have gone there with you,” Ethan told her, his voice pained and unstable.

“Sex didn’t do this!” she shouted at him, suddenly terrified of Connor hearing her she settled. “Falling in love with you did!”

She hung up on him and knew liberation should be hers, but she felt like she had just made matters worse. For days, her life had been Connor, Connor, Connor, yet there was always that niggling part of her that chanted Ethan’s name. Part of her soul lured her back in and captured her heart in a chokehold. Pressing her hand to her mouth she strived for control of her
emotions. Taking in a few therapeutic breaths, she decided to go and join him in the contest. May the better man win.

Amber stripped herself of all her clothes as she walked through the apartment. Pulling off her bra, she opened the door to the bathroom. Pulling on the aluminium door handle she took Connor’s naked self in for a moment before he turned startled to see her. Pushing hard up against the wall she kissed him hard.

"Amber," he groaned against her mouth and plunged his tongue further in. Forcing hers to caress with his, he pushed her under the warm water.

Finding herself giggling, Amber stroked her fingers along his length. Grabbing her hand, Connor pinned it to the cold tile and licked and kissed up her neck, causing goose bumps to appear on her skin.

This was rough, she enjoyed it when Connor was like this with her. He bit on her earlobe and kissed it straight after, flicking from pleasure and pain. Lifting her, he forced her legs to wrap around him and she shuddered as her back leant flat against the cold tile.