Your Little Secret (8 page)

"She's a lucky lady," Amber smiled at him softly and he gave her a wink.               She only stopped speaking as the waitress brought their meals over. Tucking into their dinner, Amber couldn't help but watch the way Ethan was with her. She had missed him this past week. He would take any given moment to touch her hand or kick her slightly under the table.

He laughed at all of her jokes and listened intently when she spoke about herself and what she wanted to do with her life.

"Are you going to be around for my birthday?" she asked Ethan whilst taking a bite from her very large cheeseburger.

Dropping his burger against his plate in shock his mouth formed an 'O'.

"Do you really think I'd miss your 23rd birthday?" he watched as the pink reddened her cheeks and she smiled into her food. Resuming with his cheeseburger he laughed, "So are your parents going to be around for it?" Taking a huge bite he chewed and waited impatiently. He knew how she didn't get along with her parents, and secretly hoped she would spend her day with him.

"I -I don't know, actually." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "My mum hasn’t called me in forever and I almost never hear from my dad." Stabbing at the chips on her plate, Amber decided she really didn't want to go down this route again.  She didn't want to realise that there were more people in her life that were just abandoning her. "So I want details, Mister," she said pointing her fork at him. "Who is this lucky lady?"

Ethan immediately became bashful, "You know her actually." He didn't continue on with the sentence. He just stuck more food in his mouth hoping the moment could pass.

It didn't.

"Well," she pressed on not letting him get away with it. This wasn't going to just get lost over a few chaste mouthfuls.

"Remember Eva?" he asked as Amber was reaching for her drink. Suddenly he heard the glass fall to the table top, Amber swearing and quickly trying to stop her drink from covering Ethan's lap.

"Shit, shit, shit," Amber continued muttering under her breath. "I'm sorry," she laughed nervously and stopped her gentle patting at the spreading puddle. "I'm sorry, Ethan, but Eva? As in Eva Pinder from University?" She watched him nod at her and she felt gobsmacked, "She lives right down the end of the country."

"Not anymore," he told her with a blasé tone. "She took a job up here a few months ago and literally walked into me in the middle of the street and we-"

"Thought it was fate speaking? That this was your destiny?" Amber asked, her voice strained and words difficult.

"Well yeah," Ethan shrugged and narrowed his gaze onto her. "Why are you getting so worked up in my love life? I don't yours and so what if it's Eva? I was in a good place with her. We only ended it because our jobs took us separate places. Long distance doesn't ever work out well." The moment he said those words and Amber's face dropped more. "Shit, Amber I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"If you didn't mean it why did you say it?" she asked him, her tone scarily calm. "Hell, I bet you wouldn't even be surprised if my only birthday present from Connor was 'Hey, Amber, this isn't working so you're dumped' would you?" When Ethan said nothing, Amber stood up. "You said you were paying so enjoy the rest of your meal, Ethan, I'll go and prepare myself for the worst birthday ever and a breakup. Why not invite Eva to eat with you? I'm sure she'll love my leftovers again."

With that she left, immediately hating herself for throwing back a moment of her life she regretted - the one night she shared with Ethan during
Freshers when they were drunk. The one night she had to claim him as hers and didn't, was the one night that meant he stayed in a long term relationship with Eva.

She had barely made it far when Ethan shot passed her, pulling to halt just in front of her, he put his handbrake on and jumped out. He ran around the car to stop her stride and grabbed a hold of her knowing she would easy run given half a chance.

"Get off me," she warned, her tone biting on explosive.

"Hear me out," he tried desperately, loosening his grip but never letting her go. "I didn't mean that for everyone. I applaud you for keeping it going with Connor regardless of him being an utter tit,
Ambi! I would have given up long ago, but I saw this chance with Eva and took it. Why can't you just accept it?"

Amber stood stock still for a few calculating moments before divulging why this didn't sit right with her. "If I remember rightly you rejected me and went after her, so forgive me if I don't throw a congratulatory party for you both, Eth!"

"I rejected you?" Ethan asked her confused. He stood literally dumbfounded.

Amber laughed in ire and shook her head, "I am not in the mood to take a trip down memory lane. It is what it is. You don't feel that way for me and I accepted that, but let me remind you of just one thing," Amber held her index finger up to Ethan, "She nearly destroyed our friendship once."

Ethan gawped at her for that. "Are you making me choose between the two things that make me happiest?" he asked her, his eyes searching hers in desperation.

"No, I'm just stating fact. I don't want to lose you," Amber spoke with a warning tone. "I don't want to lose you to Eva
Pinder." Her eyes softened then, her anger and heated emotions simmered down to be replaced with utter terror. "I'd rather die than lose you."

Putting his palm to the back of her head he pulled her into his arms and held her in an embrace.

This girl was the one who was breaking, in more ways than one in front of him and he just wanted to fix it. He thought that maybe rekindling a flame with Eva would help his feelings toward Amber, but they just made it worse. Kissing her softly on the crown of her head he pulled her away. Holding her at arm’s length he smiled at her sad face.

"What?" she said through a grin.

"You know I love you right? More than any other woman, it'll always be you, Amber, always. You're my best friend, the girl who I will always run to; you are the absolute optimal of me."

Feeling her cheeks flushing with her best friends words she dropped her head in embarrassment. Lifting her chin back up with his finger he pressed a soft kiss to his best friend’s forehead and leant his against hers for a second. "Right, we need to get out of the road." He said through laughter, "Let's have a sleepover." Looking at her friend she cocked her head to the side
and gave him a smile. "And yes, Amber, I do realise I sound well and truly gay, give me a break." Rolling his eyes at her he opened the passenger door of his RCZ so she could slide in. "First stop Asda though, you owe me dessert." Giving Amber a wink, he turned on the ignition and the car rumbled to life.

***

The sofa was unbelievably comfy as she awoke in heat. Arms surrounded her and she thought just for a second that Connor was back. But no, next to her was her best friend sleeping softly underneath her. She buried herself back into his arms and sighed contently. His arms became harder and harsher wrapped around her waist, pulling her more to him. She let him, because she felt more at ease with Ethan, safer. His iPhone buzzed on her coffee table and he awoke to the noise. Moving her gently, he laid her down on the cushion he was asleep on.

"Eva, hey."

Amber didn’t sleep even when Ethan had resumed his spot and still assumed she was fast asleep. Her heart had sunk immeasurable levels as she listened to him on the phone – laughing, joking, flirting,
lying
.

She had watched his back as he spoke, and she wanted nothing more than to reach up, take the
iPhone from his hand, and close the call off and just give into temptation. Ethan made her feel alive and at peace all at once. He made her feel right and not worried about the future. He wiped away her doubts, her tiniest of woes. He repaired her wounded heart and even made her stronger.

Or he had.

He had told Eva he was busy with a friend, but he never specified. He’d laughed and stipulated he was with a
mate
and at
his
house. Eva was none the wiser that Amber should be sleeping behind him and not be eavesdropping. It made her squeeze her eyes shut to stop the tears that began to sting in her eyes. If he couldn’t admit he was here with her then it meant that Eva didn’t know how much closer they were than when they were in University. If she was honest, she felt like he was ashamed of her.

She listened on painfully to the rest of the call –
yeah, you know I can’t do Tuesday. It’s a no go as far as I’m concerned, babe. I have a set date that night with Amber and that’s final. I change that for no one. Everyone seems to be bailing on her left, right and centre already. I am not doing the same.  Not on her birthday. You’ll just have to deal with it. I love you, but you know how important she is to me.

Amber was more than pleased when the phone call came to an end and Ethan set his phone down, resuming his position with Amber on his lap. He was none the wise that she was in fact wide away and feeling unhappy.

When the sun came up, she checked the time on the stereo system and groaned at how early it was. She waited until at least nine AM to get up and start cooking a breakfast. As she got up, Ethan flinched a little, mumbled gently and grabbed at her. With a gentle ease, she fought him off and got up, stumbling to the kitchen to get herself some coffee. She was exhausted and it did nothing to help her mess of emotions.

Cooking breakfast was a way to cover up her mood and distract
herself and she was glad she made Ethan do a mini shop while in Asda. She needed this right now. As she cooked the bacon, she thought of how her and Ethan were becoming. He called her his optimal, she was his everything and yet she could see the gap between them stretching. The distance was becoming a black void between them and it scared her. It shot from the core of her soul, penetrating her heart in one harsh lashing.

What would she do if they were irreparable and just biding time? Stopping herself from flipping the bacon, she just stood staring out of the window in mounting concern. What if they
were passed saving? What would she do if they were beyond the point of saving? Could she survive a lifetime without Ethan? Would that work out well for her? What if-

“Morning babe,” Ethan cut in, his hands coming through under her arms, taking hold of the spatula to flip the bacon for her, and kissed the side of her cheek. “You’re burning my breakfast,” he teased her.

If only he knew she was burning herself with the love she was trying to deny for him.

Ducking down, she escaped from the body heat and the urge to turn around and kiss him.

"Uh, sorry. You're better at this than me, continue your bacon butty." Taking a bow, he watched her in her leggings and tank top that hugged her curves in all the right places. Discreetly using his free hand to realign himself. She did this to him and had no idea. Watching her delectable body jog up the stairs, he prepared the bread with lashings of ketchup for Amber's breakfast. He knew her more than anyone, even Connor. He knew her because he had taken the time to talk to her, and she welcomed him into her life with open arms.

Switching on the kettle, he set up her tea and his coffee and pulled out the semi skimmed milk from the fridge. This felt too comfortable for them both. It was just a constant, and he felt so guilty for lying to Eva, but she had always hated his relationship with Amber.

Hearing her bouncing down the stairs he put the plates with the finished bacon sandwiches on the side and finished off their drinks. She appeared in the room with her hair in pigtails still in her pyjamas. As he turned back to the sink to wash his hands he felt warm hands hold him around his naked waist.

"Hi," she whispered into his ear. “Thanks for finishing breakfast." Kissing his shoulder blade Ethan couldn't help the surge of electricity pass through him. Holding on to the side of the sink he sighed and closed his eyes at the possibility of losing her forever.

"You’re welcome," he smiled at her as she took her seat, noisily at the kitchen table.

Nibbling on her bacon she opened up her
iPhone to check her Facebook and see if anything good was happening. She had a few friend requests and one of which was from Eva. Showing Ethan the phone she tilted her head to the side and showed him. "I thought she hated me, why add me as a friend?" she asked him, closing down the Facebook app to forget about Eva’s request. Scoffing realisation hit her. "I guess if I'd accepted I couldn't have even put on there 'chilling out with my Bezzie pal' could I?"

Looking up at her startled he shrugged his shoulders. "What makes you say that, Amber?"

"Nothing I guess, you remember how she was at Uni. Couldn't stand our friendship." Locking her phone and throwing it on the side she finished off her sandwich and tea and went over to the sofa to switch on Jeremy Kyle. Patting the sofa next to her, Ethan jumped from his seat and pulled her into his arms.

His mobile began to ring in his sweat trouser’s pocket and he sighed when he saw Eva's name. Seeing the name and feeling ferocious Amber pulled away. "Just go to her."

“Ambi,” Ethan spoke as if he had been burnt by the speed Amber had pulled away. “What’s up?”

Putting her hands on her head, Amber stood up and began to pace, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but you shouldn’t have to lie to her because of me. So go to her, keep her happy and I’ll do just fine.” Dropping her hands down, she looked at him, “Don’t lie to Eva because of me.” She noticed he was looking at her more and more confused. “I wasn’t asleep last night when you took that call,” she spoke gently and saw realisation dawn on his face. “I hate that I feel like I have to keep our friendship a secret, but I will do it!” her voice went high as she said that. “For you to be happy, Ethan, I’ll let you lie about spending time with me.”