You're the One That I Want (26 page)

It was Ben and Alice’s turn to head out our way that Sunday and, rather than stick to the High Road, we decided to go down to the Old Ship – a pub that sat on the river with great scenic views of the city. We’d found it the previous summer and loved spending our warm nights under the twinkling fairy lights which hung over their wooden benches. It was just as heaving in the winter months, but luckily we’d booked a table. The place was rammed with people who’d gone for walks along the river only to find themselves in need of warming up after being frozen by the bitterly cold December air – families fooled into not wearing enough layers of clothing by the bright blue skies.

Robert and I were sitting in our window seats, people-watching the walking ice-pops, when Ben and Alice arrived, both looking rather pleased with themselves as they fought their way through the other diners. Hugs, squeezes (not that sort) and kisses were shared before they whipped off their jackets and sat in their seats. The drinks hadn’t even been ordered by the time Alice leaned across, unable to contain her excitement any longer, and shrieked out their news.

‘We’re getting married! Ben asked me last night. You’re
the first people we’re telling,’ she giggled, before looking at Ben with admiration. ‘We’ve not even told our parents yet.’

There was an indisputable momentary hiatus, which probably shouldn’t have occurred, as Robert and I looked to Ben for confirmation. I knew the cause of my own surprise, but not Robert’s.

‘It’s true,’ Ben laughed, grabbing hold of her hand and beaming back at us.

They looked ridiculously happy and in love.

‘Wow! Congratulations,’ I smiled.

‘Brilliant, just brilliant,’ added Robert, with a slight edge to his voice.

It didn’t take me long to notice the absence of a diamond ring, letting me assume the proposal had been a hasty decision on Ben’s part. I wondered why. I’d thought Alice might have been pregnant, that Ben was keen to do the right thing by her and their unborn baby, but as Prosecco was ordered to toast their engagement and swiftly drunk by Alice, the idea was quickly erased. There was no baby. In fact, as the afternoon wore on, Ben revealed that he hadn’t intended on asking the question, it popped out and surprised him just as much as it had Alice. Not that either of them seemed to mind its spontaneity; the fact that it was an off-the-cuff decision seemed, to them, to make the whole thing more romantic.

I liked Alice a lot. I even liked her and Ben together. Having her there, as a part of our group, had, in the end, made life easier for the pair of us. Everything was less awkward with her around. She made it easier to pretend
certain feelings had never been an issue, that boundaries had never been crossed. I hadn’t, however, expected Ben to ask her to marry him. Ever. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.

I’d taken Pearl’s advice all those years before, and reminded myself of her words regularly; that day was one of those times, as I realized I wasn’t the only one who’d chosen their path and stuck to it. It occurred to me that, if Ben was willing to make such a grand gesture, prompted by the love he felt for Alice, I was far from his mind. I can’t deny it, the truth stung probably more than it should have.

Alice radiated joy that afternoon, she had a real sparkle of happiness in her eyes – and talked non-stop. Clearly buzzing with elation as she reeled off endless possible ideas for their wedding, all the while smiling at Ben as though we weren’t even there. The omission was probably a good thing, as neither of them seemed to notice the lull coming from our side of the table. Yes, I wasn’t the only one dubious about the sudden announcement – Robert seemed off about it too. He acted strangely all afternoon, was quieter than usual and appeared agitated, not that he admitted to it.

‘You okay?’ I asked as we walked the short journey back to our house, holding hands through our matching black gloves. Even though we both had on our thick winter coats, mine mustard yellow, his black, the wind managed to work its way in and chill our bones wherever it could, causing my jaw to chatter uncomfortably as we talked.

‘Yeah. Course,’ he frowned.

‘Weird to think that one of us will be getting married,’ I laughed, trying to prompt him into a conversation.

‘Yeah.’

‘I never thought it would be Ben going first, though.’

‘You’re telling me,’ he answered glumly.

‘They both seem really happy about it.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Wondered if she was pregnant at first.’

‘Me too.’

‘She’s not, though.’

‘No.’

‘You sure you’re okay, Rob?’ I asked, getting irritated with his monosyllabic responses.

‘What? Yeah. Just got a lot on,’ he sighed. ‘School stuff.’

‘Right.’

I knew he was lying, but didn’t want to push any conversation involving Ben. My guess was that he was just disgruntled because Ben, his bestest buddy, hadn’t shared the news with him first – or given any warning that it might have been a possibility.

It was also possible that he could have been a bit sad to realize that they were about to become even more divided than ever. Before I’d come along they’d been an indivisible duo, by each other’s side night and day, but since we were eighteen they’d become more and more separated – first by university, then by living apart. I wondered whether he was worried marriage would separate them even further. Robert might put on a tough exterior, but his friendship with Ben was something he always treasured and valued highly.

Sometimes men were more complex than women gave them credit for. I left him to his own thoughts, knowing that, if he wanted to share them, he’d do so in his own time.

He never did.

Robert had decided to tell Carol about me suddenly popping
the
question. I knew this because on Monday morning I woke up to find six missed calls from my mum. The fact she’d tried to call so many times did not bode well. I could envisage the steam from her ears increasing each time she hit the redial button, only for her call to be left unanswered.

Deciding to bite the bullet and get the conversation over with, I called her back straight away from under my duvet, closing my eyes in preparation for the bollocking I was about to receive. Following our conversation the previous week I knew, once my mum found out, I’d have to own up to being a prize idiot, or plead ignorance … whatever I said, there was no way she was going to let me act as though I’d done nothing wrong, or let me get away with it.

‘What on earth have you gone and done?’ she shouted down the phone. I was glad Alice had already left for work, otherwise she’d have definitely heard her shrieking tone, and I’ve no idea how I’d have explained that one.

‘I thought you’d be pleased,’ I said. That was a lie. I knew Mum would be angry at me, I just hoped her anger would subside quick enough so that I could take Alice
over to celebrate – the longer I left it the more suspicious she’d become; I didn’t want her thinking my mum didn’t like her. That was why I’d said we should wait before telling our parents – suggesting it would be nicer to do it once we had the ring and could tell them face to face. Alice, who, unsurprisingly, liked the idea of getting her finger blinged up first needed little convincing.

‘You said you liked Alice,’ I cheekily continued.

‘Oh, I do, you know that,’ she said, thankfully losing a bit of the honking volume in her voice. ‘And, yes, I’m very pleased that Alice is going to be a Gilbert one day.’

‘Well, then …’

‘That’s really not the point, though, is it?’ she continued.

‘Isn’t it?’

‘No, and you know it, Ben,’ she said with exasperation. ‘I told you what Robert had planned.’

‘And?’

‘And? And?!’ she shouted. ‘Less than a week later you’ve gone and ruined it.’

‘How?’

‘By getting in there first, that’s how.’

‘Mum, it’s not like that.’

‘Just tell me one thing, had the thought even crossed your mind before I told you about Robert asking Kathryn and Greg? Answer me honestly.’

I screwed up my face before giving her my answer.

‘No.’

I couldn’t lie about that, besides, it was more of a leading question than an actual inquiry – she knew what I was going to say before I said it.

‘Oh, Ben,’ she groaned.

‘What?’

‘What have you done?’

‘Nothing, Mum … it’s not going to affect him doing it.’

‘Of course it is, he’s not going to ask her now, is he? He’ll have to wait – and not just weeks, months!’

I hadn’t even thought of it like that, but Mum was obviously right. There was no way Robert would ask straight after I had – even if his own proposal was going to be properly thought through and planned. He wouldn’t want his proposal to overshadow mine (he was gentlemanly like that) or, even worse, for it to look like he was only doing it because I had. Maddy would have hated the overlap of celebrations, and he knew it. I’d realized he was annoyed the day before – he’d been full of smiles when we first walked in but then hardly said a word after Alice told them, other than to mutter his congratulations. It occurred to me later that, having sought Maddy’s parents’ approval, I might have been next on his list of people to speak to about it – perhaps he’d have found a quiet moment at the pub to tell me – the idea made me feel crap. I’d been so apprehensive about Maddy’s response that I hadn’t even thought about what might have been going through Rob’s mind.

Maddy didn’t even flinch at the news. A smile broke out on her face within seconds as she showered us with congratulations, seemingly delighted for us. It put into perspective how little past events must have meant to her, forcing me into focusing on Alice, basking in her smile as I reminded myself of all the things I loved about her, why
marrying her was a good idea and why I didn’t need Maddy.

‘Sorry, Mum,’ I mumbled.

‘A bit too late for that, isn’t it?’

‘I just didn’t think.’

‘You’re telling me.’

‘Okay, so I hadn’t thought about asking before you mentioned it,’ I rambled, hating the fact that Mum was clearly disappointed with me. ‘But hearing that made me think about Alice and me, about our future and what I wanted. I admit, I stupidly got too excited about asking and it slipped out when I hadn’t meant it to.’

I was greeted with silence from the other end of the line.

‘Mum?’

‘If I wasn’t so annoyed with you I’d almost find that romantic, Benjamin Gilbert,’ she laughed, as it became apparent she’d been holding back her tears.

I was grateful to have won her over.

‘I rang Maddy earlier,’ Alice told me that night, as she grabbed vegetables out of the fridge to go into the dinner. The chicken was already in the wok, so we were halfway towards sitting down with our stir-fry with sweet chilli sauce – I was ravenous, it already smelt amazing.

‘Oh, really?’

Maddy and Alice talking on the phone wasn’t something that happened all the time, but the two of them had managed to grow quite close over the years – hardly surprising seeing as we were all hanging out together every weekend. It would have been weird if they weren’t friends.

‘Yeah,’ she continued, plonking a pepper, carrot and some baby sweetcorn on the kitchen side to be chopped and sliced. ‘Well, I suddenly thought – remember that lovely shoot she did with that couple last year, when they got engaged?’

‘Yeah …’ I said slowly, concerned as to where the conversation was going.

I remembered the shoot – Maddy had taken the couple down to the river and snapped some great pictures of them together while they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes as though they hadn’t a care in the world. I liked them. I thought Maddy had done a wonderful job. I mean, they were cheesy beyond belief, but I don’t think it’s possible to do such a shoot without a little bit of Cheddar being thrown in. All those lovey-dovey looks and smug faces as you congratulate each other on finding ‘the one’ – it’s definitely not for the cynics out there. That’s for sure.

‘Well,’ Alice grinned, looking pleased with herself. ‘I thought we could do that.’

‘Really?’

I was far too negative straight away, screwing my face up in horror. Alice was quite taken aback by the reaction, instantly becoming defensive.

‘All right, not if you don’t want to.’

‘Huh?’

‘If you think it’s a stupid idea then we won’t,’ she huffed, picking up the pepper and aggressively chopping it into chunky rings before chucking them into the wok and stirring them in.

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You’re being all hesitant and weird,’ she said, brushing her fringe out of her eyes with the back of her hand.

‘Am I?’

I was. I knew I was. I can’t deny it.

‘Yes. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to do it,’ she said dismissively, picking up the carrot. ‘It was just a thought.’

‘Isn’t it a bit cheesy?’

‘You didn’t think so when she showed us them, in fact you really liked them.’

Like I said, I did. I couldn’t argue with that.

‘Won’t it be weird having Maddy do it for us, though?’ I suggested.

‘She’s your best friend, Ben. How many photos has she taken of us over the years?’

‘True,’ I mumbled.

‘I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. Give our parents some lovely pictures of us,’ she muttered, her face falling with disappointment. ‘It’s no big deal.’

‘You’re right,’ I nodded enthusiastically. ‘Let’s do it.’ There was no way I could possibly get out of it and I didn’t want to upset Alice if it was something she really wanted to do – it was only taking pictures, after all.

‘Really? You mean it?’

‘Yeah. Why not.’

‘Great,’ she smiled, banging on the kitchen side with delight.

‘So, what did Maddy say?’

‘She said she’d love to – she was in the middle of something when I called, but she said she’d get back to me later on with some dates.’

‘Marvellous.’