Authors: Maya Stirling
Tags: #Romance, #historical 1800s
All three shook their heads in unison. Zack smiled and stood up. "I'll go get Ned and he can show you around. You're not going to far, mind you. Just around the ranch house. There's lots more for you to see. But that'll be for another day. That right, Lydia?"
Lydia nodded. "I think seeing around the ranch sounds like a fine idea. Fresh Montana air never did me any harm when I was their age," she said.
"I remember," Zack said quirking a brow toward Lydia.
"Now that you've finished up girls, take your plates to the kitchen," Lydia suggested.
Zack coughed and cleared his throat. "I think if they do that there might be a war in the house. Mrs. Brodie likes to take care of things like that," he explained. "But, if you insist, you can always try and see how she reacts."
Lydia nodded and sighed resignedly. "Well, maybe since this is the first meal we've all had together. But I suppose Mrs. Brodie knows that the girls already know their duties regarding chores and such like. We had our little routines back in the city, didn't we?"
The girls nodded and Lydia had to restrain a smile at their obvious disappointment that a new life on the ranch didn't mean less chores. But they'd soon get used to a new way of doing things. Lydia was sure of that.
Zack left the room and presently returned with the tall figure of Ned. The children followed the foreman out enthusiastically.
At last, Lydia and Zack were alone. The silence seemed almost deafening to Lydia. Zack sat at the far corner of the table. Lydia suddenly felt the distance between her position in the center of the table and him seemed enormous.
Zack drummed his fingers on the table and glanced down at the plates.
"Can I get you some coffee, Lydia?" he asked after a long silence.
"No. I'm fine. Thank you?"
Lydia was suddenly aware that Zack was lost for words. He seemed to be deliberating, carefully weighing his words, and she wondered what he was going to talk to her about. The truth was, they had so much to talk about, and Lydia didn't have a clue where to start.
Eventually Zack spoke. "Your children are incredible, Lydia. Just amazing."
Lydia sighed. "They certainly are a handful. They keep me on my toes."
"I'll bet they do. But you handle it all so well. It's a joy to behold."
"I do my best," she admitted.
Lydia glanced at Zack and saw his eyes narrow, searching for the next thing to say, deliberating on what was appropriate to ask, choosing words carefully. Why was he being so reticent? Didn't he know that she desperately wanted to talk to him about why she had come, what they had to do, what the future held for all of them?
"Zack..." she started to say, but he spoke her name at the exact same moment. They both looked at each other and smiled at the awkwardness.
Zack gestured with a hand. "Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. Go on. You were about to say something."
Lydia nodded. "I was going to say that I am so very grateful to you for what you are doing for me and the children," she said. She immediately regretted her choice of words when she saw Zack's brows furrow. His lips narrowed and he glanced down at the table, saying nothing for the moment.
When he looked up she saw a curious combination of puzzlement and hurt. She felt a knot of unease settle in her chest as she looked at Zack's face.
"I don't want you to be grateful for anything, Lydia."
"But I am, Zack. What you are doing is...well...incredible."
Zack frowned. "And what exactly is it that I'm doing Lydia?"
She shifted in her chair. "By agreeing to allow myself and the children to come and live here, you are giving them a much needed security they would most certainly not have had in the city."
Zack's eyes narrowed slightly. "I know that the children's safety is the most important thing. The last thing I would want is for them to come to any harm living in a place like San Francisco."
"It's not a bad place."
"Nor is it a place where those children should be growing up. Especially without a father."
Zack stiffened as if he'd realized the harshness of his words. "I didn't mean to be insensitive, Lydia. I'm sorry. I can only imagine how hard things have been for you since Daniel's passing. I know you only alluded to it in your letters to me. But, forgive me if I have offended you."
Lydia leaned closer to Zack. "You haven't offended me at all, Zack. It will take a very long while to get over Daniel's passing. It's been especially hard for the children."
Zack frowned and let out a coarse, frustrated groan. "It's so unfair. Children should never have to endure what those wonderful little ones have had to go through."
"Life is hard," Lydia said. "For everyone. Young and old. It's our job as parents to shield them from the pain as much as we can."
Zack glanced up at Lydia. "Our job? Parents?"
Lydia nodded and paused. Had Zack caught her meaning? Had he thought through the consequences of bringing Lydia and her children into his life? Or had he underestimated what it would mean to have an entire and instantaneous family brought into his previously serene and simple ranch life?
"That's what we will be. Isn't it Zack? A least that is my understanding."
Zack ran a hand through his dark hair. Lydia saw a flicker of worry shift across his features. "I guess you're right. I've given all of this as much thought as I could. I was sure I'd figured it all out. Maybe I didn't realize what it would mean to have all of you here, under one roof."
Lydia tried to smile. "I know it must be hard for you, Zack. It can't be easy having four women arriving and taking up residence in your home."
"That's not a problem, Lydia. I told you in my letters, that there is one thing that has never changed. I meant what I said to you when you left. Nothing can change a promise I give. The promise I gave you is the most important thing I've ever said in my life."
Lydia felt her heart begin to race. She looked at Zack and saw the purpose, the determination on his features that matched the firm tone of his voice. Her mind went suddenly blank, insistent sensations coursing through her body. What could she say to that? Of course she'd expected he would say such a thing. Out here in Montana a promise was more than mere words. It was almost a physical thing that could not be taken back once it was offered and accepted.
And that was what Lydia had done, wasn't it? She had accepted Zack's promise that if she ever fell on hard times that he would be there for her, ready to catch her, protect her and those precious to her. But, what was she to say to him? How was she to discuss the one thing that was standing between them like a barrier, a stone wall that would only be breached with honesty and forthrightness?
Lydia decided to seize the moment. "Zack. About our situation."
She hesitated as Zack stood up quickly and came across, taking the seat next to Lydia. His physical proximity took her by surprise. Up close he seemed so large, so imposing. With him seated so close to her, she could see the maturity which the years of hard ranch work had carved onto his features. But there was still that unalterable expression in his eyes. The same expression that Lydia had recalled so many times during the last few weeks. It was an expression of goodness, fascination with her and genuine warmth.
Lydia felt the words she'd been about to utter, freeze in her throat.
"What were you going to say?" Zack asked.
Just at that moment Mrs. Brodie came striding into the dining room. She paused suddenly, realizing that the dining room wasn't empty. "Sorry. I thought everyone was outside. I didn't mean to interrupt." She turned and made to leave the room but Lydia called her back.
"Not at all, Mrs. Brodie. Can I help you clear up after that fabulous dinner?" Lydia said.
Lydia saw Zack glance at her, his eyes narrowing and she was sure that she could see a sudden expression of relief on his face.
As she started to pick up the plates from the table Lydia wondered just what it was going to take for her and Zack to come right out and say what was on each other's minds.
And, it was the only question Lydia wanted an answer to.
When was the wedding going to take place?
CHAPTER FOUR
Later in the afternoon, when he returned from checking the herd, Zack found Lydia waiting for him on the porch.
He'd gone out to work hastily after their conversation, telling Lydia that it was essential work. But, really, it had been more about putting some distance between him and the bustle of activity that had overtaken his usually calm ranch house. He figured he'd be as well getting used to the noise and the busyness. It was going to be a permanent feature of his life now.
And, he tried to tell himself, he was happy with that notion. It was going to be fine, having a wife and children on the ranch. It was going to be a real delight making the ranch fit for a family. Above all it was going to be a special pleasure having Lydia by his side, day after day.
Then how come the mere thought of that didn't fill him with an overwhelming satisfaction? How come the thought of Lydia becoming his wife didn't make his heart rejoice? Because, in spite of the delight he'd felt at seeing her arrive, and the homely experience of their first family dinner, Zack Buchanan was troubled. And he couldn't figure out why.
He could see what all of this meant to Lydia. Being on the ranch meant her children were safe. It meant she herself was safe. Thinking of that made Zack feel glad that he had responded to Lydia's letter all those weeks ago. He thought back to the day Mrs. Brodie had handed him the small envelope. He'd barely recognized the handwriting and when he'd opened the envelope and seen that it was from Lydia he'd had to go to the parlor and sit down on the sofa.
Her letter had been plain and her request direct. Lydia had recounted the circumstances of her recent life in cool, almost businesslike terms. How she had married soon after leaving Great Falls. How she had met Daniel Robards just months before Lydia's father had died of typhus after treating a patient. How she had three beautiful girls who she loved very much. Then she had recounted the sad story of how her husband had succumbed to a fever and passed away suddenly.
Zack's hand had been shaking as he'd almost come to the end of the letter. It wasn't just because of the fact that life had been so unjust to a woman about whom he'd had such strong feelings. His hand hadn't shook simply because of the anger he felt that those children had been deprived of the happiness of growing up with two loving parents.
His hand had started shaking when his eyes had glanced down at the last paragraph of Lydia's letter.
When his gaze finally reached the words at the foot of the page, Zack felt his breath stop and the color drain from his face.
He'd had to read the paragraph three times to ensure that he'd had a full understanding of the request that Lydia had written there.
He read the words Lydia had written again and again, burning them into his mind.
I know you will recall the last words you spoke to me as we parted nine years ago. They were such kind words and, at the time, I had no idea that there would come a time when I would feel compelled to remind you of them. But, remind you I must.
Did you not say to me, dearest Zack, that if there ever came a time when circumstances would be so perilous for myself or anyone I cared for, that you would be willing to offer yourself up to me. Indeed, I recall that you told me that if ever I needed you, then you would be prepared to even go so far as to propose marriage to me.
Well. That time has come to me, my dearest. It has been a sorry tale, but I find myself compelled to ask you to keep your promise to me. And, since I know you to be a man of your word, for whom integrity is something to live by, I am asking you to consider honoring your promise. I know you to be a man compelled by decency and goodness.
I cannot write any more for the moment, but look forward to your reply with anticipation.
Yours truly
Lydia Robards
That letter had stunned Zack, and he'd sat in the parlor for what seemed like hours, trying to figure out what to do, how to respond to such a heartfelt letter.
In the end he had written back an emphatic letter that was intended to leave Lydia in no doubt that he was indeed a man of his word. In that fateful letter he'd told her to come to him, bring her precious children, and that he would honor his pledge of nine years before.
When he'd written the letter he'd ridden his horse as fast as he could to get into town and have the post take away the words that would decide his destiny.
And now they were all here. She was here. His head shook in disbelief as he gazed over at Lydia sitting on the long seat on the porch.
When he got off his horse and went to tie the reins to the hitching rail, he saw Lydia watching him with an expression on her face that looked like fascination. Zack took a deep breath. He heard some excited yells from the stable. Through the open doors he could see the girls moving around animatedly as Ned explained horses to them. Zack was pleased to see the children happy.
Lydia looked over toward the stable and smiled. "Sound's like they're having a great time," she said.
Zack stepped up onto the porch, his boots noisy on the dusty wooden floor. "Ned knows a lot about horses. Looks like he also knows how to keep some rowdy kids under control. Or maybe I'm not seeing things right.," he said.
"As long as they don't try riding any of those horses," she said.
"Don't worry. We'll keep them well away."
"There wasn't much call for them to learn to ride in San Francisco," Lydia explained.
"I guess not. They'll get their chance here. Eventually. But it takes time to get used to animals out here. Especially after city living."
Lydia sighed."They're only kids. They've got time on their hands."
"They'll have all the time they need to get used to living here," Zack said.
Lydia glanced at him and her expression became serious. "On that subject. Maybe we should talk about what's going to happen. Now that we're here," she said.
Zack nodded. Straight to the point. He recalled that she had always been like that. Always been ready to offer an opinion, never shy to stand her ground. He'd always loved that about her. He wasn't surprised that she had three strong minded children. He'd have been amazed if they had turned out any other way, given the qualities their mother possessed. But there was more that Zack wanted to know before they got on to the subject he guessed she was as eager as him to talk about.