ZEKE (16 page)

“Yep, no fight and no bar tonight.” She smiles. “Jax is bartending, and Zeke, I think he’s still healing from the fight the other night.”

“Really, what happened? Is he okay?”

“I’m sorry, Lurlene. I’ve been so busy between Slate and getting ready to start my new job that I didn’t tell you. Yes. Zeke’s good. He got a bit banged up and just needed a couple of days to recoup. How are things going with the two of you?”

“I don’t know. It’s complicated, but on the upside, I did manage to break most of his rules. However,” I flip my hands up, “I’m still a virgin. Apparently, Zeke is a stickler when it comes to that last rule.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty pissed at me.” Rayna grimaces.

“You? Why?”

“I saw him the other day at the apartment, and he sort of figured out that I was the one who pushed you toward him. Ya know, I really thought the two of you would’ve hit it off but, you’re right, he’s not happy to learn that you’re a virgin.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, we did hit it off. Maybe even a little too well.”

“So you do like him?”

“I do,” I say not trying to hide the frustration in my tone. “Has he always been like this?”

“Like what? Afraid of commitment?” She rolls her eyes. “I know, he’s a really easy-going guy, funny, fun, and he does have a huge heart, but yeah, for as long as I’ve known him, he’s never been in a serious relationship. As I told you before, the only girl I’ve ever actually seen him go after was that Luna Featherhouse, and that was back in high school, but she wouldn’t give him the time of day.” Her eyes soften. “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. He’s a great guy, and I thought he’d be a good first lay for you. I don’t know why he’s being such an asshole about all of this, though, unless ...” Her head slants as she studies me. “Ya know,” she wags a finger, “you’ve been pretty quiet about what’s been going on between the two of you. Start talking,” she points her wagging finger at me, “now.”

“Well,” I let out a long breath, knowing that I’m not getting out of it, “for starters, the first time that I met Zeke wasn’t when we went to JZS. I actually met him earlier that day at the park and he was so different then, nothing like the playboy that he portrays to be. I saw something in him that day, something I don’t think he shows too many people. Anyway, after that, he agreed to be my tour guide, and for about a week, we did some sightseeing. He was a perfect gentleman, not once did he hit on me. He even showed me how to bake a pie.”

Rayna bursts out laughing. “A pie?”

“Yes. I thought the same thing, but Zeke Declan does know how to make a pie. That was the first time he, well ... we …” I frown.

“So he made a pass at you?”

“Oh yes, he did, one that landed me in his bed, and we’ve had a few close calls since, but we’ve never had sex, well, the intercourse kind,” I uncomfortably admit, causing Rayna to double over with laughter at my expense.

She lets out a few finishing chuckles and sits back up in the chair. “So what you’re saying is that you haven’t fucked yet, right?”

“Right, hence, still a virgin here.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation,” she smiles, throwing my words back at me, “I think Zeke cares about you, and that’s why he hasn’t fucked you yet.”

“I think he does too, but this whole virgin thing, and not letting anyone fall for him, there’s got to be something more to it, right?”

“Yeah.” Her shoulders drop as her mouth slacks open. “Hey, Slate told me something the other night about Zeke that I didn’t know. It could have something to do with it.”

“What?” I perk up in the chair.

“The night their parents were killed, Zeke was there.”

“He was there?”

“Yeah, for some reason Slate’s parents sent Jax and him to their grams’ for the night and Zeke stayed home. Slate can’t be sure what Zeke did or didn’t see. Zeke was young, seven or eight, and the investigators tried but Zeke refused to talk about it. They never did find out why Glenn Sewell killed their parents.”

“Sewell?” Goosebumps ripple across my skin, that’s Addy’s last name. Could there be some kind of connection?

“Yes. That’s the man’s name, why?”

“I, ah ... was he arrested? Is he in jail?”

“No. It was a murder-suicide.”

“Oh my God, that’s horrible,” I say as more questions bombard my brain. That has to be it. Whatever happened that night must’ve scarred Zeke for life. Did he see his parents die? Was he with them? Or was he in his own room? Did he hear the gun go off? Did he find them afterward? Did he call 911? Oh my God, he must have been so frightened. To think he was there all alone.

Moreover, who’s Glenn Sewell and why did he do it?

“Yeah.” She picks up my cell again. “Oh man,” she jumps up from the chair, “I gotta get ready. Slate’s going to be here soon,” she looks at me, “unless you want me to stay home with you tonight? I will, I can do that.”

“No.” I try to muster a resemblance of a smile. “I’ll be fine. You go have fun.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Now, go!”

“Okay,” she chirps. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Okay, I will,” I chirp back as she runs up the stairs.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

I check my face in the foggy mirror. Damn bruises, they’re at the ugly brown and yellow stages. I scrub a hand over my scruffy chin. Tomorrow, I’ll shave that shit off. I toss the wet towel in the hamper and flick off the light.

With Jax holding down the bar and Slate gone for the night, the apartment is quiet. Forgoing a shirt, I drop my ass down on the cushion and grab the remote. I’m just about to make one with the sofa when the doorbell rings. “Dammit.” I throw the remote back on the coffee table and get up.

I grab the knob and the doorbell rings again. “With the fuck?” I swing the door open to find Lurlene standing there. “Oh, hey.” I scratch my head, hitching a thumb into the waist of my jeans, trying to pull off cool after the assholish way I answered the door.

“Hello, Zeke.” She smiles.

Stretching my arm out, I lean my palm against the doorframe. “What’s up?”

“Heard you were alone tonight and thought you might want some company.”

“Ah.” I glance behind me, fuck. What am I supposed to do here? If I let her in ... fuck. I turn back searching for some help. Her eyes slowly roll down my naked chest, then bulldoze back up.

“Unless,” her eyebrow lifts, “you’re not alone?”

“There’s no one here,” I assure her, getting the help that I needed in her challenging, low husky tone. Fuck it, there’s no other girl I’d want standing outside my door right now. I move back, sending out an arm. “Come on in.”

She steps past the threshold, scoping out my place. “So what were you doing?”

“Was about to watch some TV.” I close the door, her scent wafting all around me. “Want a beer or something?”

“Sure,” she says, following me into the kitchen.

I reach in the fridge, grab two beers, and crack them open. “Here.” I hand one to her.

“Thanks.” She takes a few long gulps, as if she really needs it, pulls the beer back, and swipes a finger across her wet lip. Her eyes catch mine, and I hold my breath as she moves closer. Cold beer in hand, I freeze when she runs that same finger just on her lip from the corner of my bruised eye down to my scruffy chin. “Got your ass kicked, huh?” She pulls her hand back.

“Yeah.” I lift my beer and tilt it back for my own, much-needed long swig.

“Wasn’t that the night I saw you at JZS, the night you kissed that girl?” Her pretty lips spread just before she takes another sip of her beer.

“Yes, it was.” I set my beer down on the counter; getting the feeling, tonight I might want to remain completely sober. The look Lurlene is giving me, it’s full of defiance, and there are a few unanswered questions there too.

“What happened? Wasn’t your head in it?” Holding her swift smile, she lifts her beer.

“No.” I grab her beer and set it beside mine on the counter. Her head shifts a little to the left as she views me from the corner of her eye. “I was too busy thinking about you,” I say, not about to let her back me into a corner. Whatever she came here for, I’m prepared to deal with it.

“So you didn’t go home with her?”

“No.” I reach around her waist and yank her to me. “I didn’t.”

She tilts her head back, looking up at me. “Why are you so afraid of me?”

Okay, there’s question number one. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m fearful for you. There’s a difference.”

“You think that you’ll hurt me?”

“I know that I will.” I gaze down into her tender, devoted eyes. Man, I want to drop all this bullshit and surrender. I want to love her, but worst of all, I want her to love me.

“What happened the night your,” she pauses, searching my face, “when your parents died.”

Okay, there’s question number two, and fuck, in no way, could I have prepared for it. My parents? Where in the hell did that come from? What does she know? What’s she heard? I slide my hand from her slender waist and take a step back. “You need to leave.”

“No. I’m not leaving. You need to talk about this.” She steps forward, and I stumble back, feeling for the security of that corner I didn’t want to back into, now wanting those walls to come around and suck me in, make me disappear so that I don’t need to answer any more questions.

“Rayna told me you were there that night, Zeke. What happened?”

I shake my head and walk to the door, yanking it open. “I want you to leave.”

She barges over to me and my hand grips tight on the knob. I have to let her go. It’s that, or I tell her what she wants to know.

“You can close the door.” She stops in front of me. “I’m staying.” She places her hands on her hips.

“Let it go, Lurlene. It’s none of your business. It’s got nothing to do with you!”

“It has everything to do with me,” she says, her eyes glossing over. “You won’t let me in, you refuse to accept what I feel for you,” she shoves my shoulder, and I hold tighter to the knob to remain grounded, trying to ignore the pain that I hear in her cracking voice. “You deny me what I want,” she hits me in the chest, “and I need to know why!”

Her fist pounds into me again, and I grab her hand. “Fuck!” I slam the door shut and push her against it, regretting my action the moment our eyes meet. “You’re leaving, Lurlene. In a couple of weeks, you’ll be gone. Please, babe,” I take a deep breath, clench my fists, and rest my forehead against hers. “Please, just let it go.”

“I don’t want to.” She blinks a few times, her watery eyes glistening up at me. “I don’t want to let you go.”

Seeing her pain and confusion, I close my eyes and try to shut it out. How do I tell her what happened that night? How do I explain that my parents are dead because of me? I turn my back to her, take a deep breath, and stare straight ahead. The apartment is so quiet, but I feel her silent presence waiting behind me. I don’t want to let her go either. I can’t let her walk away without explaining to her why I’m letting her go. I know there’s no way out of this. I fucked up here. I’ve fallen for her. And now, I fear that it’s time to surrender.

“There was this man,” I say, muscles quivering beneath my clammy skin, “he was a neighbor. He was nice to me, taught me how to play checkers, how to build a rocket, and he had a microscope. I thought he was so cool. We did things that my brothers and Dad weren’t interested in doing. I liked him.” I shove my hands into my front pockets. The room remains wide open and meticulously quiet as though I’m the only one in it. “One day, I was at his house and,” I stop to draw some air into my suffocating lungs. “And he ... ah,” I look up at the blank white ceiling, feeling that day all over again. I release the air now trapped in my expanded lungs, “he tried to do things to me,” I clear my dry throat, trying to wash away the horrible memory, “things a grown man shouldn’t do to a seven-year-old boy. When I, ah ... finally did get away from him, I ran home and I told my dad. God,” I exhale, “the way he sat there and stared at me, I felt like I’d done something wrong. Then he pulled me into his big strong arms and held me for a long time. I was young, didn’t really understand what was going on,” I lower my head and gaze out at that memory, “but I still cried.” I shove my hands deeper into my pockets. “Dad left the house for a few hours, and Mom said that he took Jax and Slate to Grams’ for the night. When Dad came into my bedroom later that night, I remember his knuckles were all bruised and cut. He told me not tell anyone about what happened. He kissed me on the forehead and …” I sniffle back the burning in my nose as my eyes moisten.

“Zeke.” I hear Lurlene’s sweet voice. Then her hand touches my back, breaking the comforting silence.

“It was the loud popping noise that woke me,” I say, not deserving her comfort. I take a step forward until I feel her hand slip from my shoulder. “I crawled out of my bed and walked down the long hall to my parents’ room. It was dark but the moon was full that night. I’ll never forget its light shining in through their bedroom window. Blotches of darkness covered their white sheets. I could see Mom lying over Dad the same way she had done when I was scared during the fireworks. She wrapped her arms tight around me and shielded me from the loud thundering sounds and all the bright lights falling over me. She was holding my dad like that, as though she were trying to protect him. It was quiet. I remember that too, so fucking quiet. I looked to the left and that’s when I saw him, when I saw the gun in his hand, and right then, I knew what all that darkness was on my parents’ sheets. He lifted the gun, pointed it at me, and... ” I struggle for my next breath, my body sways, like I’m that scared, small kid back in that dark, silent room, detaching from myself. “I couldn’t move. I couldn’t find my lightning. I couldn’t feel my body, and I knew that my parents were gone. They were dead, and knowing that it was all my fault, on that day, a part of me had died too.”