Authors: Wodke Hawkinson
“Come here, Sue,” he ordered, voice
low, but thick with excitement.
She backed over to him, keeping her
eyes on the crowd against the wall. He grabbed her by the arm and pushed her
through the doorway into a dark room. Playing the flashlight over the old brick
walls, Zeke grunted in satisfaction when he found a hole in the wall that was
about four inches in diameter. Their silent pursuers crowded at the doorway but
didn’t enter the room.
“We’re blocked in now!” Sue’s voice
held a note of panic. “Look, they’ve all gathered in the door.”
“Forget about them,” Zeke said.
“Find out what’s in this hole.”
Sue looked with horror at the
darkened recess in the wall. “Me? Well, okay, give me the flashlight.”
“No, just stick your hand in
there.”
“Are you serious? There is no way
in hell I’m putting my hand in that hole. There could be spiders in there, or a
rat.”
“Listen, I’m looking for something,
Sue. I read about it online. There’s supposed to be a map hidden in this place
somewhere. A treasure map. My hand won’t fit so you have to do it. Now, just
reach in and see if it’s there.”
“I’m not sticking my hand in
there!” Sue pulled back, but he seized her arm and jerked her closer.
“Put your damn hand in that hole
and see what’s in there,” he demanded. “I’m not kidding, Sue. Do it or I’ll
drive away and leave you here.” He glanced at the crowd in the doorway. “With
them.”
“You wouldn’t, would you? Zeke...”
A chill rushed down her back.
He took Sue’s arm in an iron grip
and forced her hand into the black cavity, ignoring her struggles. She squealed
with revulsion and clenched her fist tightly. Other than some wispy cobwebs and
fine powdery dust, the hole was empty.
“Well, what’s in there?” Zeke
asked, holding her in place.
“Nothing!” Sue cried. “Nothing but
dirt and spider webs!”
He released her arm and she swung
out at him; her fist connected with his upper arm. “Don’t ever do that to me
again!” Her voice was filled with hatred.
Zeke’s response was immediate. He
grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. The flashlight dropped to the
floor in the process and rolled around a little, its light playing across the
walls. The only things visible in the blackness were the beam of the flashlight
piercing the gloom and the silhouettes of the watchers at the door. Zeke
released her as he bent to retrieve the light.
“What the fuck did I tell you? You
brainless whore! Don’t. Ever. Hit. Me.” In a state of fury, he threw the light
at her. It missed, bounced from the wall near her head, and broke.
“Shit! Now look what you’ve done!”
Zeke towered over Sue. He grabbed her and pulled her toward the doorway,
cursing her and calling her names. Sue jerked away from him and stumbled, but
he caught her before she fell to the floor. She tore free of him.
The ghostly people had vanished,
perhaps frightened by Zeke’s rage. The open doorway was a rectangle of light
and Sue charged for it, Zeke on her heels. She lurched out of the blackness
into the autopsy room, which by comparison looked almost welcoming and safe.
Zeke stormed into the room seconds later, his face contorted with an anger he
struggled to control.
Crying, Sue backed into an autopsy
table and cringed away from him. “Why are you doing this to me?” she shrieked.
“You’re scaring me!”
Immediately, a change passed over
Zeke’s face and his features settled into an expression of sorrow and remorse.
“Oh god, Susie,” he choked, his hands hanging at his sides. “I’m so sorry. It
was an automatic response. It comes from my childhood. You see, my dad used to
beat me and I’m still not over the effects of it. I just reacted without
thinking. I would never hurt you.”
“But you did hurt me.” Tears ran
down her cheeks as she held her arms where he had grabbed her.
“I didn’t mean to, honey.” Zeke was
contrite, his eyes moist. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I kind of lost it
there for a minute. Come on, bunny. You know I wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.”
He edged over to Sue and timidly put his arms around her. He pulled her to his
chest and murmured comforting words into her ear.
She didn’t resist although all her
senses were telling her to run. To get the hell away.
“Are you okay?” His voice was soft.
“Susie?”
“I can’t breathe.” Her words caught
as she wept.
“Yes, you can. Just calm down now.”
He moved his hand in a circle over her back. “Shhhh.”
Sue took a deep quivering breath.
“Why did you do that to me?”
“Susie.” His voice was stern.
“Think back. Who hit who in there?
You
hit
me
. After I warned you
not to.”
“Not hard.”
“Maybe not.” Zeke nodded slowly.
“But you can’t blame me for my reflexes. I’m the one who should be mad at you.
I was just teasing and you went ballistic on me. You can see that, can’t you?”
“I guess so.” Her mind scrambled
for reason as her emotions leveled off. There was a certain truth to what he
said. After all, she struck first. But he’d also made her stick her hand into
that hole when he knew she didn’t want to do it.
“At least I scared away the
freaks,” he tried to joke. “Now, let’s both just calm down, chill for a minute.
It’ll be okay. Everything’s fine now.”
He put his arm protectively around
her and she let him lead her to the steps. They ascended to the ground floor.
“Let’s see if we can find a way to
get upstairs. I want to see what’s up there.” Zeke smiled at Sue, attempting to
placate her.
Sue was still sniffling as they
searched the first level for another set of stairs. She usually enjoyed
exploring, but the fun had gone out of it now. She followed meekly.
Zeke finally sighed and gave up on
the adventure. “Okay, honey, we’ll leave.”
He ushered Sue out of the building
and they saw the eerie inhabitants gathered around the van.
“Get away from there!” Zeke
shouted, abandoning Sue on the veranda. He ran crazily toward them with
flailing arms. Snatching a rotted board, he swung it menacingly. Slowly, the
group backed away and he tossed aside his weapon before flinging open the door
to the van.
“Come on, Sue, get in,” he called
to her.
She picked her way through the
vegetation and around the debris on the ground. Sliding into the passenger
seat, she pulled the door shut as Zeke ran around to the driver’s side and got
in.
“These people are too weird.” He
started the van and revved the engine. Slamming it into gear, he whipped the
vehicle around. “We sure can’t stay the night here. They might murder us in our
sleep.”
Sue turned in her seat and watched
the asylum recede behind them. Relief washed over her.
“They acted like zombies. Who could
they be?” Sue asked, her feelings still bruised but trying to regain some
normality.
“Zombies. Ha. Well, it would be
tempting to say they’re former patients, but that can’t be right because this
place closed years ago. I would think most of the old patients would be dead by
now, unless they were locked up here when they were children.” Zeke mused.
“Nah, they couldn’t be former patients. Probably some kind of cult or
something. Maybe homeless people. How the hell would I know?”
“Maybe they’re ghosts.” Sue
shivered.
“Yeah, right, Sue.” Zeke snickered.
“They’re ghosts.” He lit a cigarette and fiddled with the radio, finally
settling on NPR.
Sue rubbed her arms absentmindedly
and stared out at the passing fields. She was angry. First, she had to endure
the arranged rape, and now his treatment of her in the basement room. Still,
she attempted to see things from Zeke’s point of view; the harsh sting was
fading a little. She determined to try harder not to irritate him now that she
realized what a hair trigger he had. More confusing than anything, however, was
her illogical need to hold onto him while simultaneously wanting to run as far
away from him as possible. He scared her sometimes but other times he made her
feel wonderful. She was convinced she might never find anyone else who saw her
the way he did. She thought she understood his fits of temper; he wanted her so
much it made him crazy at times, that’s all.
It had been magical in the
beginning, and that amazing first-love feeling was like a narcotic. They might
have had their rough spots, but the good times outweighed the bad. Desperately,
she hung on, waiting for that sweet feeling to come back around. It just had
to.
Darkness began to descend and a
shelf of low-hanging clouds threatened overhead. They drove into sleet about an
hour later, and Zeke had to keep stopping to get out and break the ice off the
wipers. The defroster might as well have been pumping out cold air for all the
good it was doing; the inside of the vehicle was frigid. The road twisted like
a snake, edged by close-growing trees on either side, leaving little in the way
of a shoulder. Zeke’s mood grew foul.
“We have to find a place to stop,”
he grumbled. “It’s gonna be way too cold to stay in the van tonight.”
Sue’s hopes immediately rose. A
shower and a bed to sleep in sounded like heaven.
Their headlights picked out a small
sign advertising a town just up the road. By the time they pulled onto the main
drag, the streets were icing over and cars were sliding out of control. Further
travel was impossible.
Edison turned out to be a sleepy
town of about eighty-five hundred people. There were only three motels and the
first two they tried refused to rent a room to anyone without a credit card.
Luckily, the last one agreed to accept cash. Of course, they had to pay a steep
security deposit, which they’d get back at the end of their stay, providing the
room had no damage. Sue waited in the van while Zeke made the arrangements.
“I gotta admit, this is the way to
go,” Zeke announced as he tossed his bag on the chair. “It’s a nice change, but
not something we can afford to do every night.”
The room was shabby, but clean, the
bed neatly made with a garish yellow and green floral spread. A square bedside
table held a phone, an ashtray, a book of matches, and flyers for local
restaurants and attractions. Faded brown curtains hung despondently over the
only window, billowing out on occasion from the fan on the heater below. Near
the door sat a tattered maroon recliner, its upholstery shiny with wear. Along
one wall was a small built-in counter with an old television, an ice bucket,
and some paper-wrapped glasses. The pink-tiled bathroom was small, but had a
deep tub and fresh towels. Although the motel had seen better days, Sue
couldn’t have been more grateful if someone had handed her keys to a penthouse
suite.
Zeke fiddled with the heater and
soon luxurious warmth filled the room. His mood improved immediately.
“Since we’re splurging, how about
we order a pizza?” He picked up the phone as Sue agreed enthusiastically.
She decided to take a hot bath
while they waited for the delivery of their food. She felt filthy from her
encounter with Billy and Tim. Plus, the moldy smell from the old hospital clung
to her, and she was covered in dust and grime.
Zeke was solicitous, even volunteering
to carry in the rest of their things. He encouraged her to stay inside where it
was warm. It looked like the good times had returned.
He kissed her when he came back in,
his lips cold and his hair dripping with freezing water. He set their sacks and
cases in the corner, and shrugged out of his wet coat.
Without waiting for the request,
Sue dug in her purse and handed Zeke money for the pizza before heading to the
bathroom. When she sank into the deep tub of warm water, she sighed with
pleasure. She imagined watching television later, snuggled close under the warm
blankets. They’d buy snacks and treats from the vending machines in the lobby,
and eat a hot breakfast in a home-style café the next morning. She thought
about washing their stinking clothes in the Fast Wash Laundromat they had
passed, breathing in its steamy air filled with the scents of detergent and
fabric softener.
The incident with Tim and Billy,
and Zeke’s earlier outburst, were dark spots in her reverie. But she pushed
them from her mind as she slid down in the tub and soaked the tension from her
muscles.
When she came out of the bathroom,
the spicy aroma of pizza made her mouth water. She and Zeke sat on the bed and
watched television as they ate. The motel room took on a homey feel. Sue
pretended for a moment that they were in a small cozy apartment, and that she
and Zeke lived there together. She took pleasure in this fantasy. He looked at
her suddenly and she wondered if he was reading her mind. He winked at her and
she smiled.
After they ate their fill, Zeke
disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack. She soon heard
the sound of water running in the shower. When she was sure he was busy, she
picked up the phone and hurriedly dialed.
“Mom?” Sue’s voice was tentative and
she spoke softly so Zeke wouldn’t hear her.
“Susie! Oh, honey!” Her mother wept
for a moment, then called to Sue’s dad. “Frank! Susan’s on the phone.”
“Let me talk to her!” Sue heard her
father’s voice in the background and it gave her an unpleasant feeling of shame
as images of Ernie popped into her head.
“I don’t have time to talk to him,”
Sue said quickly. “Mom, please settle down. I need to tell you something.”
“Oh, Susie, come home! Where are
you? We’ll come get you,” cried her mother. “Just tell me where you are.”
For one brief moment, Sue
considered telling them. Imagined them coming after her, taking her safely
home. But then she thought about Zeke and how much she loved him, in spite of
recent events. When she spoke, it was to tell her parents she was where she
wanted to be.