Authors: Kate Sparkes
I watched a fluffy cloud pass overhead. “Go ahead,” I said, though I knew what she was going to say. “I do appreciate it. This isn’t easy, though.”
She paused before she spoke. “All I wish to say is this. Don’t imagine Aren is the only love you’ll ever have.”
The words hit me like a punch, but I forced myself to keep listening.
“He’s not the only person you’ll ever care for this deeply,” she continued. “Not the only person who will ever make you see the bright lights while you’re enjoying his body.”
I blushed. “How did you—oh. You’d know.”
She smiled, eyes still closed. “This is what I mean. It’s different for us. Though only the king is allowed to have multiple marriages, you won’t find many of our kind sticking to only one love our whole lives through. There’s a reason I’ve never married, why Maks left no family behind. He will be mourned, though, as intensely as anyone can be.”
Her voice broke, and I realized how important he might have been to her at one time or another. I wondered how many times one had to survive heartbreak when she lived such a long life. How many losses.
“I know your people taught you differently.” Her voice was strong again, full of reason instead of emotion. “But there’s so much more to life than this one, small aspect. You have great gifts, Rowan. If you learn better how to use them, you will become one of the Sorceresses they’ll tell stories about centuries after you’re gone. And not because a prince fell in love with you, either. You will do unbelievable things.”
I took a deep breath. “So you’re saying I should let go? I know. I’m trying.”
At least, I think I am.
I ran a hand through my hair, shaking out the red waves. “Love can’t just be doused like a flame, and I won’t force myself to deny it.”
She cleared her throat again. “I’m saying that though you have to let go, this is not the end of your life. Be open to new experiences. This is a good thing for you. I could tell you stories, Rowan. The adventures I’ve had.” She seemed to be far away, reliving those adventures. “I’ve sailed the seas, visited lands you’ve never heard of. I met the centaurs and forged relations between them and the people of Belleisle when I was young.”
I smiled. “I know you’re not going to tell me that one of your many loves was a centaur.”
She leaned over and bumped my shoulder with her own. “Take your mind out of the mudpits, young miss. But you see what I mean. There’s a big world out there filled with adventure, danger, new lands, and amazing people. There’s so much to learn. People here think that they have magic figured out, but we don’t have even the slightest idea.”
“Ulric seems to think he knows everything about it.”
She wrinkled her nose. “The only time you can be sure someone is wrong about magic is when he thinks he’s got it all figured out. There’s always more to learn, and it grows with us, if we allow it to. If we try to contain it…” She shrugged. “We don’t limit magic, but we limit ourselves. Tyreans know much about magic, but they focus on the how, with little concern for why. I think you might enjoy exploring the mysteries.”
Eternal mystery, always more to learn. Not a horrible future.
“This is what life is about, Sorchere. Knowing the world, discovering its secrets. There is always more to see.”
It sounded wonderful, but I still thought I’d rather see it with Aren by my side—or failing that, to know that at the end of my adventures he’d still be the home I returned to.
She patted my leg. “Develop your skills and your knowledge for yourself, for your own purposes and the good of the world. Make your own contributions. Love fiercely and without reservation, and let go when you have to.” Sadness flickered across her features, then disappeared. “I only wish someone had told me the same when I was your age. You have so much more to offer the world than just your love for one Sorcerer.”
“Thank you, Griselda.” I hoped she was finished. Everything she’d said made perfect sense, and the idea of finding my own path thrilled me. It was all the complete opposite of anything I’d been raised to believe, or anything I’d thought to dream for myself, but I could so easily imagine it.
I could have had that with Aren,
I thought.
The adventure and mystery, my own life exploring the world… and him a part of it.
It was too much to wish for, and always had been. But gods, he was hard to let go of.
Voices drifted up from the forest. I stood and shielded my eyes against the sun. Aren and Kel passed by, deep in conversation, headed past the boundary of our defenses and moving toward where the bodies from the attack on camp rested under piles of stone. My heart warmed at the sight of the two of them. Perhaps in a hundred years all of this would seem distant and foolish, but at that moment all I knew was that I needed to see Aren. To speak to him. To let him know I was making progress, that I’d help with the fight, and above all that I would be all right. If he was half as worried about me as I was about him, he’d want to know.
I watched and waited, but saw no sign of Ulric following them.
“Griselda? I’ll be right back.”
I scrambled down the opposite side of the boulder and raced through the woods in the direction they’d been headed, following the sound of their voices. Before I reached them, Florizel trotted over.
“What’s happening?”
“Nothing. Just going to see Aren and Kel. Come on.”
She walked next to me, but dropped behind as we caught up to them in a clearing where the stony ground dipped in a wide crater shape, like a massive bowl lined with grasses and low berry bushes. I stopped short when Aren and Kel turned around, unsure of what would be an appropriate greeting now. I clasped my hands behind my back. “Um, hi.”
Aren looked me over, expression unreadable.
Things had changed. I’d forgotten that in my excitement. If he was doing a better job of making a clean break than I was...
Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, I just saw you two and wanted to say hello.” I bit the inside of my lip. “And ask whether you’d heard any news.”
Aren turned to Kel. “Would you mind giving us a minute? Don’t go far.”
“Not at all.” Kel turned his back to us, and Florizel got the idea and did the same. They walked a ways into the trees, and Kel reached out to scratch behind behind the horse’s ear. “Far enough?” he called back.
“Sure.” Aren opened his arms, and my heart leapt as my fears fled. I ran to him. He held me tight and rested his face against the top of my head. “I’ve been so worried about you,” he whispered.
“Likewise.” He smelled of a campfire, and the wind. I never wanted to let go.
Aren’s chest pressed tighter against my face as he took a few slow, deep breaths. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too.” The need to say anything else passed. Just being together for a moment was enough.
“No news, though,” he said, and released me.
I stepped back. “Oh.” Not that I’d thought that Ulric might have been miraculously cured without Morea’s knowledge, but hearing that we at least had a plan or a way forward that didn’t involve Aren stepping up against Severn would have been nice.
“I think we’re a bit stuck. Ulric doesn’t want to move ahead until he’s stronger, and Morea’s not making any more progress with that than Nox did. We’ll have to wait and see what she comes back from the city with. Retreat might be involved, at least for a time. Kel, you can turn around.”
Kel rolled his shoulders back and stretched his arms out ahead of him. “I didn’t see anything.”
Aren smiled at his friend. “I certainly appreciate that.”
He sauntered the few steps back toward us. “I could not see more, if you wanted me to turn around again.”
I sighed. “That’s fine. Thanks, though. I should get back. I don’t want to cause trouble. It’s good to talk with you, Aren. You’re looking...”
Gorgeous. Incredible. Kissable. I need you.
“You’re looking well. I just want you to know that I’m training with Griselda, and things are coming along really well. I’m moving past the things that were holding me back.”
“That’s wonderful,” he said. “Just what I’d hoped for you. No more problems with it replenishing?”
“Well… we’re working on that.” He frowned, and I hurried to finish my thought. “If you need my help with anything, I’m available,” I continued. “I can fight. Sort of. I’m getting better with archery, and my magic is starting to help. I was just practicing illusions and might need a few days to recover now, but…” I trailed off.
Sadness filled Aren’s eyes, but he smiled. “I sincerely hope it won’t come to that. But thank you.”
I turned and embraced Kel, who I hadn’t seen much since Nox left. Without her work to keep him busy, he’d become a constant go-between for Ulric and the people.
“I miss you, too,” I told him. “We should talk more.”
“Everybody misses me when I’m not around,” he said. “I’m charming.”
“You’re certainly something,” Aren said.
Kel laughed. “You know it’s true.”
Florizel shied and nearly stepped on my toes.
“Hey, now—” Kel said, and stopped. “Oh. Aren, I think you’re wanted.”
Florizel shuffled away, revealing Ulric standing with arms crossed behind her. “Is everyone having fun here?”
Aren’s smile faded, and his expression closed off. “I needed to get away for a few minutes. The camp was becoming suffocating.”
Ulric tilted his head toward me without actually looking in my direction.
“I wasn’t supposed to be here,” I told him. “I spotted Kel and Aren coming out here and I wanted to say hello, so I followed them. It’s not their fault. I’m not here to cause trouble.”
Ulric’s upper lip curled, but still he wouldn’t turn his eyes on me. He kept them squarely focused on Aren. “Go now. All of you but Aren.”
The way Aren and Ulric had each other locked into their wordless standoff, the world might have crumbled around them and neither would have noticed.
I gave the meeting up for lost, mouthed a silent apology that Aren didn’t see, and took one last look at him before I turned to go. Something moved behind him in the bushes at the other side of the clearing, and my heart jumped into my throat.
“Aren,” I said, but my voice barely registered to my own ears. “Run.”
Instead, he spun, pulled a dagger, and placed himself between the rest of us and the figure emerging from the trees.
A white-haired figure, riding a black, winged horse.
38
AREN
S
evern slid to the ground, landing silently on the forest floor. The horse stood like a statue. With Severn there, the magnificent animal could do nothing but await his next command.
I only realized at that moment how close I’d come to letting him do the same to me.
I listened for the sound of the others retreating, and heard nothing. The birds had fallen silent. Even the wind had stopped.
Florizel whinnied, low and desolate. “Murad.”
“Well,” Severn said, and brushed a bit of dirt off his dark pants. “This couldn’t have worked out any better, could it?”
“What are you doing here?” Ulric demanded. His shoulders tensed, and the air pulsed with magic.
Careful,
I thought, but wouldn’t say. To give away his weakness would be the end of him.
Severn’s grin struck me as more insane than amused, but his eyes said his mind was all there. “I should ask you the same thing. I might have had them release you some day, you know. Once the throne was mine, once I was sure I had everything under control.”
“Why do I doubt that? Aren, step back.”
I didn’t move. He’d said he was improving, but the old man couldn’t hope to take Severn on. Not yet.
Severn stepped away from the horse. “Come now, Aren. You’ll all get a turn.”
“Is that why you came?” I asked him. “To challenge us? You might have just let us into the city, and we could have done this through the proper channels.”
“No. I don’t trust either of you.” He turned his gaze on Rowan. “Any of you, actually. I’d rather take care of this privately.”
I narrowed my eyes, focused my attention, and tried to see what he wasn’t saying. His mind, as always, was a blank wall to me. He’d have had the advantage in the city, surely. And then I understood. Severn intended to use every filthy trick in his arsenal to defeat us. No witnesses.
“Very well,” Ulric said.
I centered myself, readied my magic. There was no time to be nervous, to consider the pain that was coming. My mind quieted, and I ran through a mental list of Severn’s skills—at least, those that I knew about.
Ulric placed a hand on my arm. “Not yet,” he said quietly, cold glare still fixed on Severn. “This is my fight, the one he should have challenged me to years ago instead of betraying me.”
Severn’s mouth twitched. “Believe it or not, Father, part of the reason I did that was to spare you the humiliation.”
“You would not have defeated me then,” Ulric said. “I’d have whipped you like the disobedient pup you are, taught you how to respect me like you pretended to. If you survived, you’d have been better for it. If not, we all would have been.”
“Such words, Father. As though I didn’t plan each detail of my taking the throne, didn’t wait until my power was sufficient and I had every piece in place.” He glared at me. “Almost every piece, at least. But nothing is perfect.”
“Father,” I said, “I—”
“No. Aren, step aside. Show me that much respect.” Ulric squared his shoulders and raised his hands as though about to conduct a grand piece of music, and stepped to the edge of the hollow in the ground. The air hummed with magic. I stepped aside. He knew his strength. Perhaps it was greater than he’d let on. “Usual challenge conventions from here out?”
Severn nodded. “Of course.”
I knew better than to trust him. I only hoped Ulric knew it as well as I did.
I stood as far away as I could without disappearing into the woods, and motioned for the others to do the same. Kel pulled Rowan back. Florizel backed up a few paces, but her eyes never left the horse frozen on the far side of the clearing.