101 Nights of Great Sex (9 page)

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...Sneak off to the bedroom and put on your bow tie and cuff links. Next, go to the kitchen and get a big trash bag. On the way back, take a detour to the stereo and put on your special hot song, and then—ba-da-BING! Boogie to the beat while you...

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...If you can learn how to get her thinking about sex—and why she should have it with
you, right now
—then you’ll have a lifetime of happiness ahead of you. It’s the old “teach a man to fish” story... but with orgasms...

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...is considered a doorway to the divine. Think of that the next time you get down on your knees.

This week you’re going to crank up your mate’s sexual energy with a recipe that is...

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...you’d be amazed how erotic some of things you have lying around the house can be.

Of course, most of your household tools are out of the question. Ouch! But she has a few tools that can be quite thrilling. And soft. One of those is something you see her use every day. It’s her...

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...Hike up her skirt; open her thighs as you move in for a kiss. Have fun with your foreplay. There’s no rush tonight. But after you’ve aroused her... after you’ve tasted her, and fondled her, and stroked her... tell her it’s time to reveal the secret of the...

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...when it comes to taste, there’s just one that’s always guaranteed to, um, raise the flag, if you know what I mean. It’s the glorious, fragrant, slightly sweet and always highly evocative flavor of ...

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...Before your sweetie gets up from the table, give her a big kiss... let her see your new toy and play with it for a moment... and then gently lock her...

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...Friday morning, hand her the box. “This,” you say with a smile, “can give you the greatest orgasm you’ve ever had.” Umm... what did you just say? “You heard me. Best orgasm ever. In this box. Wanna know what it is?”

Well, yeah, she does want to know. She wants to know pretty bad, in fact. But she can’t open it, not until Saturday night. And that means for almost two whole days, she’ll be thinking about that orgasm and imagining what’s in the box. She’ll shake it. She’ll move it around. And no matter what else she does, she’ll always find her thoughts drifting back to that box...

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...what are you going to do with a belt that carries the very faint aroma of sex? Well, if she pulls it out of the closet for you one evening — it’s a sure bet she doesn’t want you to get dressed for dinner...

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...when it comes to sex, well...

You’re going to surprise your true love. You’re going to startle her, and thrill her. You’re going to
seduce her with your words
all week long, and, in the process, discover an entirely new path to arousal. Start with...

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...Women almost never admit it, but they get crazy hot when they watch their guy...

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...When you get home, ask her to wait while you run to the bedroom. Light the candles. Tell her to come in, and just... stand there. Let her soak it in. It’s an awesome sight—you, the flickering light, the roses. She might get teary; she knows you didn’t have to do this.
You had her at “hello.”
She’s already yours, but you’re putting yourself on the line like a high school crush, working your ass off, making her feel desirable, precious, loved...

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...”DO NOT OPEN! Bring this to the Sheraton on Broadway at 6 p.m. and ask for Woody Johnson. Your next big surprise is waiting there.”

Ohhh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, she’s getting more excited now. She’s got just enough time to get dressed and call all her girlfriends to tell them how cool you are. Once you get to the...

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...Well, this week
you
are going to be the artist. Do as I say and I’ll turn you into the Beethoven of the bedroom. The Picasso of the penis. The Hitchcock of the, um, well, you know what I mean. And the surprising thing is that this masterpiece of lovemaking starts with two strands of...