Read 150 Movies You Should See Before You Die Online

Authors: Steve Miller

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150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (22 page)

STARS
George Clooney (
Batman/Bruce Wayne
), Chris O'Donnell (
Robin/
Dick Grayson
), Alicia Silverstone (
Batgirl/Barbara Wilson
), Arnold Schwarzenegger (
Mr. Freeze/Dr. Victor Fries
), and Uma Thurman (
Poison
Ivy/Dr. Pamela Isley
)

Gotham City's dynamic duo, Batman and Robin (Clooney and O'Donnell) struggle to keep their partnership intact as the city faces the evil Mr. Freeze (Schwarzenegger) and Poison Ivy (Thurman).

Why It Sucks

The silliest, worst, and last Batman movie from the 1990s, this film is so campy that it makes the classic 1966
Batman
movie with Adam West look like an episode of Masterpiece Theater. The story is nonsensical, the jokes are lame, and everyone looks embarrassed. General opinion is that this movie killed the Batman franchise until the release of
Batman Begins
in 2005.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Costume Design Award goes to …
Ingrid Ferrin for making Batman, Robin, and every other costumed character in the film look even more ludicrous than the average comic book. The only exception is Uma Thurman's sexy Poison Ivy outfit.

And the Worst Director Award goes to …
Joel Schumacher for overloading the flim with action set pieces, the worst of which is a hockey match with a diamond as the puck that culminates in a motorcycle chase.

They Really Said It!

Batgirl
: Chicks like you give women a bad name.

Betcha Didn't Know

The film had a budget of $125 million, but only made $105 million domestically. The first film in the series, 1989's
Batman
, had a budget of $35 million and earned $251 million during its original U.S. theatrical run.

A fifth Batman movie was planned, but this one's poor financial performance and even worse reception by fans and critics caused its cancellation.

Trivia Quiz

Which of the following actors did director Joel Schumacher not consider for the role of Mr. Freeze?

A: Hulk Hogan

B: Anthony Hopkins

C: Sylvester Stallone

D: Richard Kiel

Answer: D. Richard Kiel, best known for playing Jaws, the near-indestructible foe of James Bond, was not, alas, one of Schumacher's choices for Mr. Freeze. If Schwarzeneggar had turned down the role, Stallone was next in line.

CATWOMAN
Warner Bros./Village Roadshow/DiNovi Pictures, 2004

PRODUCERS
Bruce Berman, Michael Fottrell, Robert Kirby, Benjamin Melniker, and Michael E. Uslan (executive producers), Denise Di Novi and Edward L. McDonnell (producers)

WRITERS
Theresa Rebeck, John Brancato, and Michael Ferris (story), John Brancato, Michael Ferris, and John Rogers (script), Bob Kane (original Catwoman character)

DIRECTOR
Pitof

STARS
Halle Berry (
Patience Phillips/Catwoman
), Sharon Stone (
Laurel
Hedare
), and Benjamin Bratt (
Tom Lone
)

Through a twist of fate, a shy woman (Berry) gains personality-bending superpowers and becomes Catwoman.

Why It Sucks

The biggest mystery about this film is why Halle Berry agreed to star in it after winning an Oscar and appearing in the superior superhero film
The X-Men
. Even more surprising is that Warner Bros. would treat one of its own properties so badly in what's been called “the worst superhero film ever made.”

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Actress Award goes to …
Halle Berry for giving a performance that barely manages to be sexy. And it's
Halle Berry
, for God's sake!

And the Worst Director Award goes to …
Pitof for displaying disregard for production continuity so sloppy that costumes change in the middle of fights, hairstyles change during the trip from a restaurant to a bedroom, and helmets appear and disappear.

They Really Said It!

Catwoman
: You saved my life, Midnight. But somebody killed me and I've got to find out who and why.

Betcha Didn't Know

After Michelle Pfeiffer declined to repeat her role from
Batman Returns
, Ashley Judd was the first choice to play Catwoman. After she also declined, Halle Berry was cast.

The film cost around $100 million to make, but only earned some $71 million at box offices worldwide (and just $40 million in the United States).

Trivia Quiz

For what film did Halle Berry win an Academy Award?

A:
Die Another Day
(2002)

B:
Gothika
(2003)

C:
Monster's Ball
(2001)

D:
Swordfish
(2001)

Answer: C. In
Monster's Ball
Berry portrayed Leticia Musgrove, wife of an executed criminal.

CITY HEAT
The Malpaso Company/Deliverance Productions, 1984

PRODUCER
Fritz Manes

WRITERS
Sam O. Brown and Joseph Stinson

DIRECTOR
Richard Benjamin

STARS
Burt Reynolds (
Mike Murphy
), Clint Eastwood (
Lt. Speer
), Jane Alexander (
Addy
), Richard Roundtree (
Dehl Swift
), Madeline Kahn (
Caroline Howley
), Rip Torn (
Primo Pitt
), and Irene Cara (
Ginny Lee
)

When his partner is murdered, P.I. Mike Murphy (Reynolds) is left trying to figure out who killed him and what scam he was running against Kansas City's biggest gangsters. To do so, he must work with his former best friend and now bitterest enemy (Eastwood).

Why It Sucks

How can a detective movie set in the 1930s and featuring excellent performers like Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood fail? Well, because someone apparently didn't recognize that no matter how big the stars, a film still needs, oh, I don't know, a good
script
. Instead, we have a convoluted story, flashes of absurdist humor that are out of place, and every actor but Burt Reynolds is underused.

Thumbs Down Rating:

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